future love 将来の愛 💕

N.G. writing my life away to perserve myself from perpetual boredom. 21.

[itsjeezyo]

Reblog if I can message you and start a conversation.

[tjasna-deactivated20170123]

Valentine's Day questions BE NOSY PLEASE

[ext1nctanimals]

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

2: Have you ever been deeply in love?

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

4: Have you ever changed for someone?

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

6: Have you ever been cheated on?

7: Have you ever cheated?

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

10: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

11: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"?

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

13: What's one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?

14: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?

15: Do you believe in the phrase "age is just a number"?

16: Do you believe in "love at first sight"?

17: Do you believe it's possible to fall in love on the internet?

18: What do you consider a deal breaker?

19: How do you know it's time to end a relationship?

20: Are you currently in a relationship?

21: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends?

22: Do you think people should date their friends?

23: How many relationships have you had?

24: Do you think love can last forever?

25: Do you believe love can conquer all things?

26: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of?

27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?

28: Do you think long distance relationships can work?

29: What do you notice first about another person?

30: Are you straight, bi, gay or pansexual?

31: Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?

32: Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

33: Do you want to get married one day?

34: What do you think about getting your partner's name tattooed?

35: Could you be in a relationship without sex?

36: Are you still a virgin?

37: What's more important: Looks or personality?

38: Do you enjoy love films?

39: Have you ever given anyone/received roses?

40: Have you ever had a valentine?

41: What's your imagination of a "perfect date"?

42: Have you ever read "Romeo & Juliet"?

43: What's more important: Your partner or your friends?

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?

45: Could you imagine to date one of your current friends?

46: Have you ever been "friendzoned"?

47: Which "famous couple" is your favorite?

48: What's your favorite love song?

49: Have you ever broken someone's heart?

50: If you're single, why do you think you are?

51: Would you rather date someone who's rich but a douchebag or someone who's poor but a nice guy?

52: Are you good at giving other people advices regarding dating/ relationships?

53: Are you jealous of couples when you're single?

54: How important is it to make a relationship official (p.e. on facebook)?

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?

56: Have you ever "destroyed" a relationship?

57: x

58: Are you the "dominant" or the "submissive" part in a relationship?

59: Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner's birthday or your anniversary?

60: What's your opinion on open relationships?

61: Who's more important: Your partner or your family?

62: How do you define "cheating"?

63: Is watching porn while being in a relationship inappropriate?

64: Do you think Valentine's Day is overrated?

65: Would you consider yourself a "cuddler"?

[ai-no-bijon]

"I see no reason why I can't have everything I want."

Sometimes, in some cases, for some people;

that not always the case.

I swear sometimes this world is out to get me.

Get me to places where I don't want to be in life.

Sometimes, life is like a jenga tower.

Yes, people will say "everything will fall into place, eventually."

Most pieces fall onto the ground, far from the light and left unseen.

Some get picked and pried apart by foolish hands thinking they "knows what's best".

And few remain, well-put together.

The world, this life is jenga and one day it will all fall apart.

[disintegrationgrl]

my thoughts have thorns and sharp edges

[xmaliksmindx]

“ it took me a while to understand you saying "I don’t want to hurt you.” actually meant “I am, going to hurt you.” “

- ash.x

[ai-no-bijon]

with the world so violent, my head lives as a trap door.

02/01/19

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

June Jordan, from “Haruko: Love Poems,” originally published c. July 1993

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

June Jordan, from “Haruko: Love Poems,” originally published c. July 1993

[ai-no-bijon]

Do you ever wonder what would happen if you were born yesterday...

If you were in someone else's shell.

Whether their own she'll contains the skin that has the same color of porcelain,

their lungs parallel and teeth flashing brighter than a single flame.

Shaving more into a surface; a surface

that you could not be seen.

A surface of you soul that felt you weren't complete.

"How could I be?"

"How could anybody else see but me?"

"Will I ever get this right?"

Hands, myriad hands all around talk in and out of direction

Forming from your face, the same hands

become cocunbines and couplate together a create a new form.

Who you were and wherever you were

from were eschewed from memory and existence.

Say "no one lives here".

Say "no formulation will bring me back to where I was".

Say "past identity; future me? What are they? I thought those things never really exsisted."

Arms made of wool cover your eyes from all view.

Glided and blinded by the rush of aesthetic pleasure cannot give you a new opportunity.

The state of eye/01-26-19

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

I've just started my poetry blog and I think I have a little bit of trouble getting it started. Do you have any advice on what I should do?

Post what you love and keep it genuine and represent your own taste

[ai-no-bijon]

Thank you! ❤

[barfola3000]

[ai-no-bijon]

The pain that is never ends.

[amintleaf]

When I first saw you

I could have sworn

my soul leapt out of my body

just to meet yours a little sooner

[mperrismith]

11-21

I am 11. I play piano. I write songs. The world turns.

I am 12. There’s a shift. I write music. I still sing. But I read. I read novels. I read news. There is life. There is poetry. I don’t know. I am confused.

I am 13. I am impressionable. Reading breeds writing. Writing for days. Writing fever dreams. I write novels. I create music. I share it. I sing loud. They all laugh. I feel embarrassed. Middle school aches. Kids are mean. What am I? I am not. I think so? I’m still confused. You should know.  

I am 14. It’s brand new. I am older. I’m still embarrassed. For different reasons. I am ugly. I’m fucking ugly. Insecurities are poisonous. It starts here. I’m racially ambiguous. I hate ambiguity. I write that. I write everything. Hate hate hate. So much hate. My fingers bleed. Ink stains skin. I am tattooed. My brother screams. He is breaking. I can’t break. I’m not allowed. My parents fight. They are disappointed. They’re always disappointed. I’m not good. I want goodness. High school’s hard. Harder than before.

I am 15. It’s the same.

I am 16. I am sexual. Maybe I’m beautiful. For a second. Just a second. It doesn’t matter. He leaves me. But I’m better. I write religion. God is mysterious. Sexuality is religion. It is romantic. I want peace. I write that. I sit alone. Eat between books. I daydream universes. Draw ceiling stars. Infinities spiral downwards. Is this depression? Maybe it is. My parents think. They say no. End of discussion. I want more. I tell strangers. Sometimes they listen. I meet him. He is Tunisian. Maybe it’s starting. It begins here.

I am 17. It is exciting. College visit season. I will write. I’ll study it. I say so. My parents smile. They don’t laugh. “What about money?” I don’t speak. I just nod. What about money? Doubt like cancer. I write that. Doubt is acid. I’m not good. Not good enough. I am spiraling. Egypt is salvation. I read it. Muslim, Copt, Jew. Authoritarianism births revolution. I am revolution. Tunisia is paradise. He is Wael. Knox College calls. I’m leaving soon.

I am 18. Intensity like wildfire. I lose it. He takes it. I let him. It didn’t hurt. I am confused. I want love. I want sex. I write that. Where is Tunisia? The Middle East. I study that. He doesn’t love. He’ll never love. I give up. I meet someone. I becomes we. Where is Nepal? Diplomacy is language.

I am 19. I give everything. There is change. I travel places. The Indian subcontinent. The United Kingdom. Who am I? I am democracy. I’m in love. Something is shifting. Is it me? Years pass slowly. It feels retrospective. This is forever. I want forever.

I am 20. I climb mountains. Heaven is real. It’s called Nepal. Himalayan peaks breathe. I scale skies. There isn’t sin. God is imperfect. So are we. We fuck slowly. Is that sinful? It is beautiful. I am beautiful. He is perfect. I am working. U.S. politics burn. There are fights. They ask me. “Why he hates?” I don’t know. I can’t answer. I am diplomacy. I keep shifting. He hates me. He loves me. We are beautiful. We are broken.

I am 21. I drink liquor. It’s legal now. He’s still here. Not for long. I can’t think. He was forever. He’s not now. I am alone. There are people. They fuck me. Too fucking fast. I’m not ready. But I’m alone. I people watch. They are beautiful. Isolation is blistering. I am accomplished. Don’t forget that. Three years gone. But I’m leaving. Washington D.C. calls. I’m leaving soon. I write that.

[ai-no-bijon]

It seems like your dreams are coming true.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“Because nobody holds me back anymore.”

— Clarice Lispector, from “The Stream of Life,” originally published c. 1973

[ai-no-bijon]

Nothing in silence,

nothing against tyrants

but I can't sleep through

your blatant red flags and your appalling alarm systems.

Damn, my heart and mind will take a stand.

Take this: a middle finger to the oppressive and dismal grey skies.

Standing out from the inside/

1/30/19