Iām just going to leave this here...
In the past few weeks Iāve kind ofĀ āgiven upā on the gay community per say. Iāve come to the sad realization that the general community, at least the one Iāve been exposed to, has become increasingly focused on quick hook ups or one time ordeals. There is no longer a focus on getting to know someone, but instead a focus on sexual pleasure and gratification.
So a little bit of a throw back, but I came out to my friends back in November of 2011, my sophomore year in High School. Everyone was pretty accepting and I told people on a need to know basis because I didnāt want to be the kid throwing myĀ āgaynessā in any one elseās face. It then wasnāt until almost a year later that I told my sister that I was gay, and she openly accepted me for who I was and told me that she had known for awhile. Since that day I have contemplated telling the rest of my family members as I know that they would continue to love and support me regardless of the person I eventually choose to love. Sadly, I have not yet come to tell them directly but Iām nearly 100% confident that most of them know. At this point in my life, Iāve accepted who I am, Iām perfectly okay with where Iām headed in life. Iāve also pretty much lived on the philosophy that I will let my parents know who Iām dating if/when it becomes serious enough that I feel that she should be informed.Ā
But getting back on track. In my past few years of dating different guys, Iāve come to love some and hate others, yet all the relationships have ended, some one good terms and others not so much. My most recent break up was evident for awhile and occurred almost a month ago now. Since then, Iāve talked to a few guys here and there and met up with a little less than a handful of them. Some of them are really great people and I really enjoy their company, and some, to be frank, were really fucking weird.Ā
But as the search for Mr. Right continues, I keep turning up empty handed and instead have been immersed in a culture of sexually motivated fiends. Almost every guy I have talked to has little to no interest in actually getting to know me, or the ones that do, just pretend until they get a hook up and then never talk to you again. I feel like I have fallen into this culture with the use of apps such as Grindr, Tinder, Jackād, Hornet, or other random apps that I download and delete. Itās almost become comical to be to log into these apps, some guys message you and get to know you before asking for a hook up or a dick pic, while others take the more blunt route ofĀ āWanna hook upā orĀ āFuck meā. Some guys are even as desperate to offer me cash to let them perform sexual favors.Ā
So my over all take away from this is, are guys so afraid of commitment that society has built the gay culture to be just filled with a bunch of random hook ups and one time things? This mindset has led me to where I am now, let me better myself until the right one comes along. So no longer and I outĀ āon the prowlā for a date, but instead Iām going to focus on living my life to the fullest. I going out with friends and doing my own thing, focusing on my goals and aspirations. Instead of putting 110% into a relationship where my partner gives me 50%, Iām putting 110% into bettering myself. And yes, I have no problem with taking myself on a date. So if you see me standing in the line of Chipotle alone, or sitting at a restaurant alone, you know why.Ā
Heres to hoping the right one comes along. Someone who understands my busy life style and yet still is willing to but in 110% just like I would. But until then, Iāll be doing my own thing.Ā
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