aiila

These are just excerpts.

[aiila]

Hindi Niya Naman Minamadali Eh.

Hindi niya naman minamadali ang pag-ibig. Nasa estado lang siya ng buhay na kailangan rin niya ng saya. Naghahanap lang ng kaonting liwanag sa madilim niyang mundo.

Hindi niya minamadali. Maaaring may hinahanap lang siya. Hindi pa rin malinaw kung ano kaya wala siyang naid madaliin.

Hindi talaga siya nagmamadali. Dahil alam niyang hindi ito dapat minamadali.

Hindi siya nagmamadali. Baka nagkamali ka lang. Baka nagkakamali lang kayo. Masaya lang siya sa sandali at hanggang doon lang iyon. Sa katunayan, pinag-iisipan nga niya ang lahat eh.

Hindi niya hinihingi ang pag-ibig na akala mo minamadali niya. Kinakaibigan niya ang lungkot at ilang masasayang alaala, pero hindi niya magagawang madaliin ang pag-ibig.

[aiila]

“ Is it just me, or is there really something about your birthday that makes you feel like the loneliest person in the world? “

[aiila]

It’s been damn 3 years and I finally realized why we broke up.

There is no 3rd party. No big conflicts.

But the fact that we both want a “healthy relationship” — we never argue. And that’s the thing. We never really dealt with our feelings. That’s a different kind of toxic relationship, is it?

[aiila]

Do you cut yourself?

[aiila]

I came to realize that whenever they needed me, I needed to push myself so hard just to be available to them. I need to adjust my emotions just to be the person they need me to be.

Yes, they are here. They always remember to check. But they just do that when it’s convenient to them. When they’re bored.

How about those times when I tell them I can’t come over because I can’t? How about those messages I sent just to let them know I couldn’t because I reached my limits and it was really me who needed them?

How about me? When will they notice? I’m suffering too. 

[aiila]

Still thankful.

[aiila]

Why would I settle for someone who doesn’t like me that much? It’s easy to say “I like you” but it’s actually a lot of work to maintain it. It is flattering to know that someone likes you, but in the long run you should be thinking who will still like you when you’re different from the day they met you?

When you’re sick; say you’re having dysmenorrhea and you might look fat in the glimpse of an eye because of your cravings; or when you’re looking ugly because of relapses? Who would remind you you’re pretty when you wake up without make-up? Who would be proud to have you where they are willing to scream out your name?

It’s actually a bare minimum to ask for it. To have someone who genuinely likes you.

I like you is not enough. The thing is, if you don’t express or show how sincerely you feel it’s likely I won’t know. Life slips by, then it’s over.

I am actually not denying or embarrassed to admit I had too many failed “talking stage”. It’s better than risking my heart for some random guy.

Yes, I might be this strong-independent fish, but bruuu, I wanna have an arms to hug when I’m too tired to handle the world.

I am more than you can handle anyways.

[aiila]

“ wag ka na ulit bumalik pls “

The amount of pain you caused to that person was severe to the extend of her telling you not to come back because deep down she knows she’ll gonna be dumb accepting you again.

It’s funny how an unbothered alpha girl got dumped by someone who likes her first; played by someone who shouted the world her name then telling her to leave him alone on the next day; rejected by a boy whom she opened her arms wide open accepting all his flaws.

[aiila]

Evolution is less a ___ thab it is a ___.

a.) line - squiggle

b.) contest - struggle

c.) statement - question

d.) march - scramble

e.) decision - reaction

BRIT MEANS: I choose CONTEST and STRUGGLE because a CONTEST implies a level playing field. Evolution isn't level. Creatures are stuck with whatever they're born with. Some creatures are big and strong and fast. Others, though, are too small, or too slow, or mutated. There's nothing they can do to overcome the bad hands they were dealt at birth. The herd leaves them behind. They're the first to get eathen. Evolution is not some contest. It's an arbitrary roulette wheel of murder.

[aiila]

I've been feeling undervalued yet I still want you back.

[aiila]

Ako yung nagmumukhang masama without knowing mas masakit yung pinaramdam mo.

I needed to give you up. Not because I don't care but because you don't. I did it, so you won't have to make excuses.

What does it mean to let go? It takes courage. Courage to start again. To think of your tomorrow without the person you thought you're gonna spend your lifetime. It means 'back to square one'. It's painful. But the truth is, I'm going to miss you - painfully.

Is it really okay to quit on a man who is not even trying? We all know the answer. We're just too dumb to admit. Because the biggest lie are those we tell to ourselves.

[aiila]

Money Heist

Realization from Rio: You can't measure love based on what he says or what he does. You can measure it based on the situation. For example, he told you he loves you; he do things unconditionally because he's inlove with you; he obeys you like a dog that when you say "fetch" he'll run fast, faster like before, like the piece of stick is a representation of "I LOVE YOU AND I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU". But no. It is not. Imagine him being locked up, tortured in a place of nowhere, his hands held up with chains and it was cold, it's where he dug his own grave, and the only way to end it is to betray his love for his family (the professor). He fell for it. He wanted to tell where the professor is, he wanted to betray and leave the present reality because he's tired and hurt and he's not thinking right. He's in that situation. In that very moment where nothing matters but his survival. He forget all the good memories in a glimpsed, he's living in hell and he wanna be freed. But it was impossible, because he doesn't know where the professor is.

Tell me, how do you measure love?

[aiila]

how do you measure love?

[aiila]

- [x] Marriage Story. Indie film. Hindi sya interesting kase wala masyadong catchy music and meju boring yung mga scene pero yea, ang gandaaaaaaaaa. 🥺 Marereliazed mo "Hindi lang sapat na mahal mo yung isang tao". Na super life-changing pala ang marriage. It doesn't matter if my mom likes you, or how my future is secured, it doesn't really matter if you're so smart and creative. If you see me small, I'm small. And that's a big THING. How do you look at me? What am I to you? We are two different individuals and I just can't depend on you.

Charlie is an ideal husband but you can't just expect happy ending just because you play the "good guy". Tho, he's a cheater... he's no perfect, but he's human.

Marriage is having someone whom you allowed to love and hurt you. Someone you can be with without losing yourself.

Ayoko ikasal/mag-asawa if maghihiwalay lang din naman. :((( It'll be sad for me and worse for my child!!!

[aiila]

up

[aiila]

I am back. Back to zero.

[aiila]

[aiila]

Ted: What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second: you and I had; what I know Marshall and Lily have, I want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen... and waiting for it to happen... and I guess I'm just tired of waiting.

Stella: You know, I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket. I got pulled over. So this cop gets out of his car and he's like "Young lady, I have been waiting for you all day". And I said, "I'm so sorry, Officer. I got here as fast as I could.". I know that you're tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can.

We all have this little Ted in our hearts. As much as we wait, or we deny that we're waiting, we know deep in our hearts, we are tired and we really wanted that feeling. That what they called "THE ONE".

[aiila]

: tell me something about yourself

: I am incredibly awkward & sometimes negative. I get attached easily & I hold on for too long. I don't really like opening up to people. Most 5 year-old children can express their feelings better than me. I'm terrified of being wrong. I'm probably one of the most difficult people you'll ever meet. But I can be sweet. I'm a good listener. I'll guard your secrets with my life. I will never judge you based on your mistakes & past. & I'll love you as much as I can. If you'll let me. So, did I pass? HAHAHAHAHA