Darating sa puntong aayawan mo ang isang tao. Hindi dahil pagod ka na kundi nawalan ka na ng dahilan para gustuhin mo pa siya.

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@aikokonutnut
Darating sa puntong aayawan mo ang isang tao. Hindi dahil pagod ka na kundi nawalan ka na ng dahilan para gustuhin mo pa siya.
What now?
It's been almost 4 months since I became CPA. At first I really thought that it is now easy to land a job. But gahd!!! I thought wrong. Not because of the lack of jobs here in the Philippines (actually there are lots of jobs here) but because of personal preferences. I wanted to work here in the province not in NCR cause mahirap mag-isa sa lahat ng bagay. I mean, I wanted na kapag umuwi ng bahay ready na yung makakain ganun and hindi yung iisipin mo pa kung ano kakainin mo and in the end you're just going to settle for a fastfood. And also ayaw ko na lumayo sa family ko. So whenever I got a call (job opportunity) i always declined them. I tried to apply here but geeesh, laging walang bakante sa gusto ko. 😑 tapos after ko magsubmit ng resume, wala ng call ganun. It's frustrating. Iniisip ko na ngalang magteller eh. Hee hee. And now, my mom referred me her friend whis is actually a Board Member here in our province. I was glaring at her already kasi ayaw ko ng ganun. Yung nirerefer kasi tang ina nakakababa ng pagkatao. Hahaha. Like, wala ba tong tiwala sakin na makakahanap ako ng work ko on my own? Geeesh. Yeah I know, maprinsipyo ako. I just wanted to prove something. Haaaayst. So tomorrow I'm heading to Baguio to look for a job kasi ayaw ko talagang tumanaw ng utang na loob forever. Hahahaha. Shet. Where will my principles take me kaya? Mamumulubi ako nito. Hahahaha. Well, let's see. 🤔
Claiming it. CPA na ako.
So ayun, namove yung release ng result. Grabe. Expected na release is Oct. 20 or 21, pero dahil sa nangyaring strike last Monday and Tuesday na sanhi (naks) ng pagcancel ng pasok sa government offices, ayun minove sa Nkvember 2 or 3 daw. Grabe. Really an agony proloooooooonged. Di naman dahil sa kinakabahan ako or what kasi naeexcite akong makita yung name ko sa List of passers. Hihi. Kasi yung last day ng board, humingi na ako ng sign kay Papa G. Sabi ko if I saw someone wearing a shirt with a “Yes” printed on it that means, I surpassed the boards.
So after ng pakain ng dean namin. We decided na mag-quantum muna and ktv since naghihintay din kami ng time kasi may pa-buffet din yung review center namin ng around 5:30. So ayun, pasimple akong nagtitingin ng shirts ng mga dumaraan. Kaso passed 30mins na, wala pa rin. As in. Then I sat on the bench near the escalator, escalator na yun, mas marami akong makikitang folks kasi feeling ko lang. i sat there with my friend. We just seat there quietly. So lumipas nanaman ang 20mins, wala talaga akong nakita. I was about to cry na that time. But what I did was, I said a little prayer. Ang sabi ko Sakanya okay lang. for i know na his plans and will pa rin ang mag-preprevail. And probably better than mine.
Then, pumasok ako sa ktv kasi andun sila. Nakigulo ako dun. Hanggang matapos yung song since last naman na. My friend ask me if I can accompany her to the rest room so pumayag ako. Sa department store na siya nag-CR since gusto niya ng may bidet (tatae ata haha). So while waiting nagtingin-tingin muna ako ng mga stationeries and calligraphy pens since I’m into it lately. Tapos dumating na siya.
Deretso kami sa may National Bookstore since andun daw sila and we’re about to leave naman na kasi magsimba pa kami. Then as we exit the department store, bes, saktong laglingon ko sa isang side ko may nakita akong “yes” sa damit ni kuya. Ang sabi “yes i am…” and yung font size parang 1inch lang bes, pero kitang kita ko siya. Ang laki ng tuwa at ngiti ko noon. Sobra. Tapos hinawakan ko ung hand ng kasama ko tas parang shinake shake ko (idk the right term) tas may patili pa ako konti, ed gulat siya. She asked me why i suddenly smiled and ake the tilis, i said none kasi ayoko sabihin ung sign, di kasi siya naniniwala dun.
Tas ayun, sa church. Ang gaan ng feeling ko kasi feeling ko that time pumasa na ako. Tapos si Lord na yung nagsabi through the sign kaya ayun di ako masyadong nagwoworry ngayon. Tiwala kSi ako. ☺️ Balitaan ko kaya kapag may release na ng List of Successful Examinees.
Haaaaaaay. ☺️☺️☺️
Grabe LORD. Sobrang lakas ko ata sainyo. Di ko alam kung anong nagawa ko para madeserve to. Grabe. I’m out of words. Pero thankyou po talaga. Thaaaankyou, Lord. From the day na hiniling kong ipasa niyo ako sa qualifying exams hanggang sa inhouse review namin hanggang sa actual board exam. Lord, salamat po at hindi niyo po pinabayaan. Salamat dahil sinamahan niyo ako. Gaya po ng sabi ko para to kila mother at father. Lord, simula palang ito. Samahan at gabayan niyo ulit ako sa next kong journey. Salamaaaat. Wooooh. Amazing ka po talaga. Forever! Salamat, Lord. Forever grateful ako sainyo. 😭😭 All glory are yours po! 😭❣️
Claiming it. CPA na ako.
So ayun, namove yung release ng result. Grabe. Expected na release is Oct. 20 or 21, pero dahil sa nangyaring strike last Monday and Tuesday na sanhi (naks) ng pagcancel ng pasok sa government offices, ayun minove sa Nkvember 2 or 3 daw. Grabe. Really an agony proloooooooonged. Di naman dahil sa kinakabahan ako or what kasi naeexcite akong makita yung name ko sa List of passers. Hihi. Kasi yung last day ng board, humingi na ako ng sign kay Papa G. Sabi ko if I saw someone wearing a shirt with a "Yes" printed on it that means, I surpassed the boards.
So after ng pakain ng dean namin. We decided na mag-quantum muna and ktv since naghihintay din kami ng time kasi may pa-buffet din yung review center namin ng around 5:30. So ayun, pasimple akong nagtitingin ng shirts ng mga dumaraan. Kaso passed 30mins na, wala pa rin. As in. Then I sat on the bench near the escalator, escalator na yun, mas marami akong makikitang folks kasi feeling ko lang. i sat there with my friend. We just seat there quietly. So lumipas nanaman ang 20mins, wala talaga akong nakita. I was about to cry na that time. But what I did was, I said a little prayer. Ang sabi ko Sakanya okay lang. for i know na his plans and will pa rin ang mag-preprevail. And probably better than mine.
Then, pumasok ako sa ktv kasi andun sila. Nakigulo ako dun. Hanggang matapos yung song since last naman na. My friend ask me if I can accompany her to the rest room so pumayag ako. Sa department store na siya nag-CR since gusto niya ng may bidet (tatae ata haha). So while waiting nagtingin-tingin muna ako ng mga stationeries and calligraphy pens since I'm into it lately. Tapos dumating na siya.
Deretso kami sa may National Bookstore since andun daw sila and we're about to leave naman na kasi magsimba pa kami. Then as we exit the department store, bes, saktong laglingon ko sa isang side ko may nakita akong "yes" sa damit ni kuya. Ang sabi "yes i am..." and yung font size parang 1inch lang bes, pero kitang kita ko siya. Ang laki ng tuwa at ngiti ko noon. Sobra. Tapos hinawakan ko ung hand ng kasama ko tas parang shinake shake ko (idk the right term) tas may patili pa ako konti, ed gulat siya. She asked me why i suddenly smiled and ake the tilis, i said none kasi ayoko sabihin ung sign, di kasi siya naniniwala dun.
Tas ayun, sa church. Ang gaan ng feeling ko kasi feeling ko that time pumasa na ako. Tapos si Lord na yung nagsabi through the sign kaya ayun di ako masyadong nagwoworry ngayon. Tiwala kSi ako. ☺️ Balitaan ko kaya kapag may release na ng List of Successful Examinees.
Haaaaaaay. ☺️☺️☺️
Mama, 22 na akooooooo. Bawala pa rin maglovelife? 😂😂
Mama: kinakamusta ka nila dito.
Me: sino?
Mama: mga tita mo.
Me: sabihin mo nag-asawa na.
Mama: (in ilocano) ayy ukininana (mura) , Aiko (my name) haan ka lang agaw-awiden. Padasem ta makitam ti kunkunak.
Translation ( ayy, walang hiya, Aiko, wag ka nalang umuwi kapag ganyan. Subukan mo at makikita mo. Wag ka nalang umuwi kung ganyan.
Ewan ko kung anong katamaran ang sumapi sakin pero tamad na tamad akong magreview. Hoy self, malapit na board. Remember your goal? Kahit wag na yun ang isipin mo, ang isipin mo kailangan mo ng maggive back sa parents mo. Hello. Di sila bumabata kaya please lang gumising gising ka na at magreview. Wag mong hayaang magsisi ka sa huli. Okay ba tayo dun? Ha?
fool me once, shame on u; fool me twice, shame on u again for taking advantage of my compassionate & forgiving nature!!!!!! how dare u
HOW DARE YOU
selena gomez // camouflage
aurora borealis
sometimes i’m like “wow i hate myself and want to die” but on good days i’m just like “wow i hate myself”
Guard your heart; and save it to a keeper
3 types of self soothing thoughts
Validation: it’s ok that I hurt and want to feel better
Reassurance: I can handle this pain even though it hurts
Perspective taking: I’ve had bad days like this before and I’ve made it through them. I can remember my better days and know I’m not always hurting this much
a part of me still dies over the thought of why must people hold and make my cold hands warm just to let go of them in the end
Her eyes are drowning, her smile is fading, her heart is dying, but her lips keep on saying “I’m fine.”
6/14/2017 // jin (via ilmare-x)