âWe can accept an imperfect dad. Letâs face it, the idea of a good father was only invented like 30 years ago. Before that fathers were expected to be silent and absent and unreliable and selfish. And we can all say we want them to be different, but on some basic level, we accept them. We love them for their fallibilities, but people absolutely donât accept those same failings in mothers. We donât accept it structurally and we donât accept it spiritually. Because the basis of our Judeo-Christian whatever is Mary, Mother of Jesus, and sheâs perfect. Sheâs a virgin who gives birth. Unwaveringly supports her child and holds his dead body when heâs gone. And the dad isnât there. He didnât even do the fucking. God is in heaven. God is the father and God didnât show up. So, you have to be perfect, and Charlie can be a fuck up and it doesnât matter. You will always be held at a different, higher standard. And itâs fucked up, but thatâs the way it is.â
â Marriage Story (2019), written and directed by Noah Baumbach
