A.I.Rendón

Aspiring Writer, Professional Lurker, and So Much More

[airendon]

I was reading a fic and it started bothering me, and seeing as I’m on 1 hour of sleep I will share my rambling reflections.

I don’t think Johnny has ever viewed Daniel as a Victim, or a Victim of Violence. At least not before season 5. And I find that interesting because I think Johnny knows he himself is a Victim of Abuse. And I don’t mean that he has a victim mentality, but that he acknowledges the things he went through were abusive. Daniel meanwhile... I think Daniel understands on a conscious level he is a Victim of Violence, but I don’t think he wants to see himself as a Victim. I dunno, I think there is more acceptance of it on Johnny’s part, at least after season 3. Meanwhile Daniel gets caught up in trying to prevent himself from being victimized again. He gets a lot of shit for it in the show- to be fair he does some shitty things. At the same time he does have some valid points though.

I don’t know, I think I just get frustrated with some people painting Johnny as a big woobie, and Daniel as an unreasonable bully, but I don’t think that’s fair to either character. The are both victims of violence and abuse and neglect. How they have come to terms with it (or not come to terms with it) and how it shaped their lives is different. The ways they move forward and don’t move forward are different.

Than again, I skipped a bunch of episodes in Cobra Kai just so I could see them get along faster, so maybe I’m full of shit. At the very least I don’t think Johnny ever viewed Daniel as a Victim of anything until that thing with Silver. And by that thing, I mean the beat down in season 5, because his reaction to the KK3 drama does not acknowledge any of Daniel’s suffering or Silver’s threat level.

[airendon]

A study of Rain

I have experienced rain in three different places. Or, more exacting, I’ve had three different experiences with rain that I felt were worth describing...

Where I lived, the rain fell hard and cold. It was the definition of driving rain;  cold and unforgiving . It bit into the skin and even in summer it would set a chill in the bone that took hours to warm away. The rain was a reminder that warmth is fleeting.

When we went on vacation, I experienced southern rain. It was warm and inviting. Like stepping into a pool in summer. It welcomed and invigorated and came and went in minutes. The title “summer shower” has never suited so well.

The rain here, where I live now is best described in the clouds and air. The air doesn’t suddenly cool here the same way it did back home. Here the air is warm, the pressure heavy before a rainfall. The clouds hang low, the world is hazy with water vapor. And when it falls, it is only occasionally harsh. Mostly it falls slowly. It offers no release from the pressure or the humidity. It feels like the sky simply couldn’t hold in the water anymore...

Despite my joy in at having a new home, it amazes me how like tears the rain is here.

[airendon]

Things that are not pleasant to wake up to:

Centipedes crawling on you.

[airendon]

Does anyone else have that moment where they simultaneously understand two sides of an argument and where exactly each person is coming from?

Isn’t it headache inducing...

[airendon]

Oh no, the oven got dirty.

[airendon]

I had a last day at a job, which is always hard when you’ve managed some level of human bonding. It’s one of the reasons I like to slip out of places, with hardly a whisper of farewell. Because if you don’t...

A friend of mine kept giving me sad looks. He’d pause and you could see him counting the moments until I was gone. Until I snapped.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

What  I really meant to say is ‘stop looking at me like your going to cry. I don’t want you to look at me and get sad because all you can think about is that I’m gone. I don’t want my memory to make you cry.

Because when I think of you guys, all I want to do is smile. I never want the memory of you to ever be anything but sweet.’

But that seemed like a long emotional speech, and I’m emotionally repressed in a verbal way.

[airendon]

Still alive

The time has come for my biannual posting spree to prove I’m still alive. And yes, I know, I’m using the word biannually incorrectly.

[airendon]

There is nothing sweeter than being right about a twist in a show you only watch occasionally.

[airendon]

Happy Dopamine Day

Dopamine, what Valentine’s day is all about

[airendon]

February 13

“My cuddling up with you is not an expression of affection, but rather a disdain for hypothermia.”

“Just shut up and hold me.”

[airendon]

February 12

“I hate my job. It is a dead-end, soul sucking job, in a mold riddled bleak hole of a building, that makes me contemplate murder every day. So what does it say about our relationship, that you make me want to leave early to go to work every single day?”

“...That I’ve encouraged you to be a more productive member of society?”

[airendon]

February 11

“I would dance with you beneath the pale moonlight... but I’d like to keep my toes unbroken.”

[airendon]

And February is continuing the trend of January. At least for me. It’s this entire year, I swear it is. 2016- The year everyone died.

[airendon]

February 10 (Barely)

“Without love, all my accomplishments taste like ash.”

[airendon]

February 9

“What true love is is really dependent on how you define ‘true’ rather than ‘love.’ True love can last all of one day if you define it as ‘real’ rather than say, ‘consistent.’”

“Is that what you tell all the girls in the morning?”

“No- I just ask them for breakfast and leave through the window.”

[airendon]

February 8

“And what over-used, store room sentiment cliche stamped on an over-priced, over-decorated piece of paper are you about to hand me?”

“...It would be amusing how you simultaneously butchered my heart and the word over if not for my tears.”

“It really would be. Are you going to-”

“No, I no longer think you deserve it.”

“The card or the sentiment?”

“Both!”

[airendon]

February  7

“I can promise you that I’ll love you always in the only way I have ever known: Selfishly, quietly and in one direction. ”