A Is Incredibly Alone

depressed

[st-a-y]

I don't think most people understand the urge to kill yourself every time you do something wrong

[sa-dnesss]

[myblissfulsuicide]

Every time I chase happiness I come back worse than before.

[just-a-lonely-nobody]

[lucylied]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[aisincrediblyalone]

The Tree

I am a tree

starting as a seed, small, fragile, unable to survive without others.

As time went on I grew,

slowly but I was becoming something.

My branches reaching for the skies,

My green leaves popping,

Birds nesting in my hair.

But a storm came one day.

My branches being ripped from my body.

My leaves leaving me.

The birds flying away.

A broken tree stood alone in a field,

her beauty peeled away.

But her inner self still remained.

She reached her roots deep into the ground

Growing from the inside out.

The heat of the earth warmed her soul.

Her branches reached new heights,

the leaves growing bigger each day,

The birds adding color to her hair.

A.S 18

[aisincrediblyalone]

Earth

Isn’t it funny?

How one small thing

can make the largest impact? 

There is so many people in this world, 

different sizes, shapes, shades... 

A person dies everyday ... every second

but a person is born too. 

A never ending cycle.

The world doesn’t stop for one person, 

it’s always spinning.

So why should we? 

One person shouldn’t change who you are. 

The world is always changing,

and so are you. 

You and the world are connected. 

Earth is bullied, polluted, beaten, drilled. 

She loses parts of herself. 

But she doesn’t give up. 

She crys somedays

shines bright others. 

A.S 18

[aisincrediblyalone]

Expected

How would they react?

If they found out A was gone?

She finally killed herself.

The pain took her away. 

She lost herself. 

She ended it.

Everyone knew it was to happen.

They all saw the scars, 

the tears, 

the pain in her eyes. 

It was a secret that she was “sad” 

How would the paper read it?

“Local girl passes away unexpectedly” 

Everyone expected this: but no one stopped it. 

A.S 18 

[aisincrediblyalone]

Puzzle

A piece of me still loves you 

a big piece. 

But I no longer feel comfort

when you come to mind. 

I feel broken, sadness, emptiness.

I imagine all the lies you told me, 

I imagine the ones you’re still keeping. 

My already broken heart; breaks again. 

You stole such a large part of my soul.

You’re still keeping it. 

A piece of me is missing.

Please return it. 

A.S 18

[aisincrediblyalone]

Death

I dream of blackness

the emptiness I feel inside

My nightmares are when I’m breathing

My fantasies are when I’m dead 

My dream to die

not when I’m

50 

70

80 

or 100 

but tomorrow

A crash, a fall, a cut, a bottle, a gun, a kill

The idea of me dying

calms me down

I make a plan 

tomorrow

tomorrow will be the day I die

A.S 18 

[aisincrediblyalone]

Stop

My mind isn’t my own

It shuts me out

I lose control 

The voices always start small

a word, a laugh

I close my eyes

and

shake my head

it’s nothing

A sentence, a question 

they’re all talking

now

I try to out think them

out of my own mind 

Screaming at me, yelling

Its all I hear

I’m trapped in my mind

Let me out

someone help 

My mind has taken over 

A.S 18 

[aisincrediblyalone]

The Thought

It starts as a whisper

An evil tick

Do it

You don’t matter

My hands

they start to tremble

The voices grow louder

You know how to make 

US STOP

Push them out

I can’t handle the noise 

Just one cut... 

. one

.. two 

... three 

.... four

The voices stop 

A.S 18 

[aisincrediblyalone]

Something is wrong

but

I don’t know what. 

Everyone leaves

or ignores

or dodges

I 

am 

alone 

Is it the way I look? 

Talk? 

Think? 

Feel? 

I crave someone

a person

a huge

a call 

an I love you. 

[aisincrediblyalone]

Breaking

me + you 

me - you 

me? 

A piece of my life is missing

It disappeared to where...

I don’t know 

What does it look like? 

I don’t look the same,

feel the same, 

sleep the same, 

see things the same... 

How do you replace something

that was never supposed to break? 

A.S 18 

[aisincrediblyalone]

A burden

I’d built my life around you 

Planned out the what ifs

The whens

wheres 

the unknowns. 

All but one

I never planned on you leaving

I never thought I’d be too much 

I never imagined that being with me

was a 

burden 

A.S 18