Am I The Asshole?

For all your assholery needs

[aita-offical]

Am I (F, 18) the asshole for tagging a bunch of officals ( @real-human-offical @homosexuality-offical @satan-offical @tagging-officals-offical-2 @sweden-offical @tophat-offical @no-one-offical @mlm-god-offical @oldersister-offical @the-wind-offical @man-offical @osha-offical ) to gain popularity with absolutely zero regard for their notifications? It's for a good cause (popularity helps with solving moral dilemmas), and I heard that stuff like this helps.

So, Officalverse, aitah?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onNov 8, 2025

[tophat-offical]

May you please explain all the abbreviations?

[aita-offical]

Of course!

YTA - You're the Asshole

NTA - Not the Asshole

NAH - No Assholes Here

ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

AITA for being mad at my roommate? I (28MNB) used to live alone until my Tumblr mutual (30NB) moved in with me at the beginning of March. I reached out to them because they got kicked out by their Mom (a situation I'm familiar with) for being unemployed. We had DMed a couple times and I got along with them quickly, we had common interests and I 1000% related to many of their issues.

However, after they moved in, issues arose. They drink CONSTANTLY. I don't even mean a glass of wine to unwind, I mean full on binge-drinking when the sun goes down. They don't seem to be aware that this is an issue, despite daily use, and when they're drunk? It ain't pretty. They can get extremely angry, irritable, and even destructive. I have the means to believe they broke our TV. I can't even phrase how upset this made me, not only did I have to spend hundreds of dollars replacing it (out of my own pocket, mind you), but I couldn't believe they would lie and say it just started glitching out of nowhere. They KNOW how important that TV is to me.

Not to mention, they are EXTREMELY impulsive. Five days ago, they came home with a puppy out of nowhere. Bear in mind, MY apartment doesn't allow pets. They know this. I told them this. And did they listen? Did they ask me, before bringing home a whole new life? OF COURSE NOT! Now we've got a puppy up on Craigslist (Because of course our landlord found out) and NO ONE IS ADOPTING THEM. Also, they were named after a Trollhunters character (that's dumb.) who I DON'T EVEN LIKE. AND I'VE MADE THIS SO CLEAR. IT FEELS LIKE A DIG AT ME BECAUSE I'VE BEEN VOCAL ABOUT IT.

They still don't have a job, and aren't searching. I pay 100% of the rent money. At first, I was happy to do so, because I was helping a friend, granted they eventually got a job. But now? Do I even need to explain?

When I brought this up to them, they lashed out at me, and made me feel like I was the crazy one here. I mean, I'm dealing with my own crazy shit, but that's none of their business frankly.

They only enjoy talking to me when I kinshift to Vox (from Hazbin Hotel) because they ship fucking radiostatic. Bear in mind, I SHIP THEM, but this is so gross. I am on the asexual spectrum, and I do NOT appreciate their cuddly advances. It's also extremely difficult trying to cope with kinshifting, and they do not help, they only pressure me into shifting more, and it feels like I'm being coerced. Not to get dark, but I don't know where else to talk about this.

I need to know. Am I crazy? Am I the Asshole here?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onApr 3

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

Alright so basically one of my friends wont get off of ai apps and I don't exactly want to be friends with her anymore because she is always on ai and kinda rude

We've been friends since like 2nd grade but I don't like how this is going

So aita for deciding to stop being friends with her? I have stated multiple times that I don't really want to be friends with her anymore because of how she uses ai all the time and because of how she threatens to hurt people all the time

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onApr 8

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

getting married in may and want my wedding to be perfect. i want my bridesmaids to wear cute dresses but my sister refuses to wear anything that goes above the knee. for context she is a traditional exonite and has been married 3 times to her three husbands. it is against her religion to wear anything that could be seen as revealing. she suggested wearing a suit instead but I dont want her to look like a boy at MY wedding! She has already had 3 weddings, why cant she let me have my one wedding? i told her to wear the dress or not get an invite and she cursed me. aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onMar 15

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

I (32m) am the reverend father mr Steven Wigans and i work in the funds disbursment department at the las vegas branch of the united bank for america. I have contacted a customer regardign their inheritance funds of $7.5 million usd that was left in a dormat bank account. This customer needs this funds to buy rent and groceries for their family but are unwilling to pay the delivery fee which has been levied by the courier DHL. This customer has been persistently very rude to me using offendsive language, calling me things like fraud and scammer. I have assured them that there is nothing like fraud or scam involved in this trans action but they keep using nasty language against me. I told them that if they could not pay the fee by the 9th of the moth that i would put their inheritance fund's up for public auction. aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate m

Voting ended onMar 15

[aita-offical]

Aita for punching my (21f) sister (19f)?

For context, me and my sister have bad blood between us for years She calls me a nazi and a misogynist for no reason. Recently I realised I’m a trans women (mtf) (there were a lot of signs lol I’m surprised my family didn’t realise I’m an egg) and I came out to my mother (53f) and sister and told them to use she/her pronouns on me. My sister has been throwing a hissy fit over this. She insists that she’s an ‘ally’ but frequently calls popular trans women by he/him pronouns and insists that I’m too misogynistic to be a women and that I’m just faking it to get away with being a nazi and she misgendered me a lot of times even when I corrected her and told her not to. Obviously I got mad at her and we got into a fight and that fucker actually punched me in the face. Obviously I had to punch her back. Now she’s mad at me and my mom after my mother said she’ll kick her if she misgenders me. She won’t talk to me anymore. Anyways, aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onMar 14

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

ok so im the anon with the nazi sister.

that ask is satire of fake allyship and the incel to trans pipline and of the genre itself. i am ridiculing people whose allyship is conditional, people who think its a totally normal thing to be open about a past as a nazi shithead, and of the genre of aita posts for often being little more than drama farming.

In reference to THIS POST. (I think?)

Well, it's nice to know that there's one less Conditional Ally™ in the world than previously assumed.

[aita-offical]

for the first time in years i went to the family reunion with bio family. stayed at my uncles place inames iowa for the week. my cousin had really gone downhill since last i saw him. dude was nonstop parrotting gamergate bullshit and would throw fists at the smallest slight. dude had no chill so i decided to give him one. gave him a hit of my buto pen and he was fucking zooted. i take him to his bedroom for his safety and sit him down on the bed. turn on netflicks and watch some jojo. he looks really wasted so i hold him for comfort. afterawhile he takes off my shirt and i take off his and... well we fuck. next day he asks if we can do that againand i give him another hit of the buto. we do this on and off for a week. get home, check on his facebook, and its nonstop barely inteligible butoposting.

got my cousin addicted to butonin. aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onMar 14

[aita-offical]

So i still feel guilty about a situation i had to deal with but idk whether or not it was me really being an asshole.

I was friends with this one person for a while. Time goes by and they say things to me that really hurt or make me uncomfortable (ableist jokes, joking about fucking me, etc). I forgave them bc i try to be patient and I don't want to be *that* guy, yknow? And they promised not to do it again.

Fast forward and they post an animal abuse video making light of it. I panic and unfriend them and later DM them telling them that i want space from them. Everything is fine until they join my discord thread and i feel uncomfortable again. I DM them to please leave and suddenly they got defensive saying "that i make them feel unsafe and they were uncomfortable with the way i was treating them." They went on to say that they were happy to leave if their existence "bothered me" that much when I told them i was happy to coexist in the public parts of the server, just not in my thread. They left shortly after.

I was only taking space but now i feel like i was petty and oversensitive. I couldve been better

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 17

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

AITA for not wanting to sit where my mom sits nor hug her because she stinks to me?

I dont know why this happens. I feel like I’m going crazy. Neither she nor anyone else but me in the house can smell the stench that comes from between her legs. Sometimes I can smell it by just being near her. I’m a germaphobe so this grosses me out and I try to avoid coming into contact with stuff that has the smell on it, like blankets she uses. And I hug her barely at all while really liking to hug my dad and this clearly makes her upset but I cant do anything about the fact that she grosses me out. Everyone makes me out to be the bad guy and makes me feel guilty but I genuinely just cant help it and I dont know what to do

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 23

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

I know that this isn't the point of your question, but I feel the need to say that nobody is ever entitled to a hug from you.

I'm going to say NTA though. Have you tried explaining your issue? You obviously have a reason for acting the way you do, so it might help to explain?

[aita-offical]

AITA for no longer giving a damn about my brother?

He's angry every day (no, this is NOT an exaggeration) and he always finds some reason to rant on and on about some "wrong" we've committed against him. He's loud, obnoxious, and verbally abuses everyone.

He also bullies people for fun, and his seemingly favorite target is one of our autistic cousins. He's racist, homophobic, sexist, and ableist. He's a thief, and an all around unpleasant person to be around.

So I've disengaged. I've stopped caring about whatever happens to him. I've stopped caring about him in general. He's just a nuisance I have to deal with every day. The day he moves out will be a blessing.

The issue is that...obviously mom still cares. She still gives a shit. And I'm one of the few people she can talk to about him. Everyone else is against him. And whenever she complains, I just go like "eh." I'm not going to tell her that I don't care, but I'm sure it's obvious. I just don't. Care. I'm tired of his bullshit. My life would be so much easier if he wasn't around. Our relationship is utterly destroyed. And if he wants it back, he's going to have to work so, so hard for it.

Obviously, there's nothing I can do about it, so I've settled for not caring. At all. So, am I the asshole?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 19

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

aita for lying to my partner about calorie counts and what does and does not "count" when calorie counting

cw for calorie counting and anorexia

my (16m) partner (17) has struggled with ana for practically their entire life, and recently relapsed. they've been restricting themself to 200 kCal a day for about the last week, and including in that their electrolytes, medications, gum, and any 'no sugar' drinks.

I lied to them about these 'not counting' in an attempt to get them to stop restricting as harshly. It worked, they stopped overcounting and looking up the calories in an aspirin, but I feel like I've just broken their trust severely.

AITA?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 11

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

AITA for being pissed at my friend for making my vent about them?

So I(15M) am friends with someone we'll call Anna(17F)(not her real name.)

I very clearly have autism spectrum disorder, but I am too poor to afford a professional diagnosis. Me and Anna are in a discord server together and there's a vent channel there, typically I don't touch it but I was very upset today because I'm just. Really pissed about not being able to have a diagnosis because it isn't fair.

So, I went in the vent channel and I said, "I just want a diagnosis. Nobody believes me when I say I have a disorder, because a doctor didn't come and say I have autism." Something along those lines, just venting about how I can't get one.

All of a sudden Anna comes in, I'm in the MIDDLE of venting as she does this, and she says "I wish I didn't have a diagnosis. My meds make me numb." I understand she has every right to be mad about that but.. Did it have to be while I was still talking about my problems? She couldn't have like, done it somewhere else instead of where I was actively seeking comfort? She took the attention off of me with that and I didn't end up getting comforted, only her.

I asked her not to do that because it made me upset to be interrupted while venting. She God mad at this and said I was selfish and being mean to her, and that I was just jealous when I shouldn't be. Idk, AITA?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 17

[aita-offical]

Am i the asshole? jokes on u, i already know i am

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 16

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

AITA for not wanting to give a friend my wedding dress for her wedding even though I’m a guy now?

I (29m) got married to my best friend and husband (25m) a little over a year ago. At the time I knew I was nonbinary and probably transmasc, but hadn’t really been ready to start transitioning. I promised my then-fiance that I wanted to transition after we got married so the last dress I ever wore would be my wedding gown and it would be special. We had planned on getting married this year but had to move it up because with the 2024 election we were a little nervous about if we’d still have the right to get married. We had a courthouse wedding in the fall, and I picked out a nice black gown with beaded and embroidery and a cool black lace veil to match the spooky vibes we were going for, and to reference my d&d character that I had been playing when I met him.

Here’s where the complicated situation comes in- one of my best friends is my brother’s girlfriend, who I will call K (23). She was our photographer, my bridesmaid, and has been a solid support for me, and we used to work together and have struggled with similar disability issues that we’re glad to have someone else to talk to about. She’s a genuinely kind person, but sometimes she can be tactless and demanding and she goes on the defensive when criticized. She and my brother have started talking about getting engaged, and last week she came to me and asked if she could have my gown for her wedding.

I’d like to note that they’re not engaged yet, and my brother might be leaving town for a year for a work scholarship soon and as far as he’s indicated he has no plans to propose until he completes his scholarship, so if they are getting married it would be a couple years out. She said that since I’d transitioned to male, and the dress wasn’t something she thought I’d have a lot of attachment to, that it might be nice to pass it on to someone who could care for it and share that happy memory. I said if it were any other dress I would be happy to, but just because I’m not dressing feminine anymore doesn’t mean this gown means any less. She then brought up that the dress had only been 200 dollars, so it’s not too big of a loss and I could see if I could find the same dress and buy it again. At this point I got frustrated and said that I really didn’t want to argue but I was not giving her my wedding gown because I want to keep it, and if she is struggling to afford a wedding dress she needs to look to someone who’s willing to give it up.

Now she’s angry and upset because she thinks it doesn’t make sense to pay for a gown when ‘you have one you won’t even wear again’. I can’t blame her for thinking that since I transitioned I might not have such a sentimental attachment to a dress, but my WEDDING dress? I don’t want to be mad at her but she was so pushy about it, and it felt like she cared more about her own potential future wedding than what this means to me.

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 9

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

NTA. You don't want to give up something that has sentimental value, and there's no issue with that.

[aita-offical]

aita for misgendering my nazi brother?

hi so my (21m) brother is a nazi and spent all his spare time on 4chan making shitty memes and trolling. then he started gooning and it wasnt long before he started to talk about wishing he could be the girl and now he actually thinks he's a girl. now im not transphobic and i (19f) think transwomen are real women but there's no way this fucker is legit. he insists that i call him a woman and i aint going along with it. yesterday he tried to confront me about it and we got in a big fight and he actually hit me. mom came in and broke it up and she of course took his side and said that if i dont stop misgendering him she will kick me out. aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 13

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

Alright, I wasn't going to say anything originally, but I'll throw my hat into the ring. ESH. Your nazi sister for obvious reasons, and you because you're willing to misgender someone because you don't agree with them. A gross oversimplification, but that's what it basically comes down to (even if her beliefs are horrible). You aren't a true ally if your ally ship ends with, "well, you suck so I'm not respecting your pronouns."

You don't get to decide if someone is trans or not. If they say they're trans, and that they identify with "xyz" pronouns, then that's what you call them. Respecting pronouns shouldn't be conditional.

All you're showing is that there's a limit to how willing you are to respect pronouns.

Even if your sister is lying, you lose nothing by referring to her as asked.

Respect people's pronouns, anon. Even if they're a bad person. Even if you think they're lying.

[aita-offical]

aita for misgendering my nazi brother?

hi so my (21m) brother is a nazi and spent all his spare time on 4chan making shitty memes and trolling. then he started gooning and it wasnt long before he started to talk about wishing he could be the girl and now he actually thinks he's a girl. now im not transphobic and i (19f) think transwomen are real women but there's no way this fucker is legit. he insists that i call him a woman and i aint going along with it. yesterday he tried to confront me about it and we got in a big fight and he actually hit me. mom came in and broke it up and she of course took his side and said that if i dont stop misgendering him she will kick me out. aita?

Are they the asshole?

YTA

NTA

NAH

ESH

Elaborate.

Voting ended onFeb 13

YTA - You're the Asshole, NTA - Not the Asshole, NAH - No Assholes Here, ESH - Everybody Sucks Here

[aita-offical]

Alright, I wasn't going to say anything originally, but I'll throw my hat into the ring. ESH. Your nazi sister for obvious reasons, and you because you're willing to misgender someone because you don't agree with them. A gross oversimplification, but that's what it basically comes down to (even if her beliefs are horrible). You aren't a true ally if your ally ship ends with, "well, you suck so I'm not respecting your pronouns."

You don't get to decide if someone is trans or not. If they say they're trans, and that they identify with "xyz" pronouns, then that's what you call them. Respecting pronouns shouldn't be conditional.

All you're showing is that there's a limit to how willing you are to respect pronouns.

Even if your sister is lying, you lose nothing by referring to her as asked.

Respect people's pronouns, anon. Even if they're a bad person. Even if you think they're lying.