But...How Do I Get My Mom To Fuck Me?
We field this question about a hundred times a week. As soon as I get my ass in gear & write a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) page this is going on it.
The short of it: if she doesn’t already want to there’s nothing you can do, you’re shit outta luck, we’re sorry. There is no magic formula or pickup line or whatever. Sorry to burst your bubble about this, but in our experience this is the brutal truth. Bear in mind, though, that this is only our experience, which is all we can speak to with any degree of authority. I seduced my baby; he didn’t seduce me. Other real couples we’ve met aboard here, moms in romantic & sexual relationships with their sons, it’s always the mom initiating things & making it clear to her son that that’s what she wants. That being said, you can dispose yourself for that result IF she is so inclined.
The long of it: from our post “A Touching Plea We Saw”:
Mothers, if you are out there and feeling you could be with your sons, make that move. We do not know how to make that move, but we want to desperately.
We field a ton of questions from guys, nearly all of them young ones (but always 18+), asking about how they can be like us, in a relationship that expresses itself sexually between a mother & her son. Our stock response…because it’s the truth…is that I “made the first move.” I seduced my baby. It wasn’t the other way round. So we’re just not much help in giving advice about how to seduce your mom. My baby will frankly tell anybody that cares to ask that he is sure he never would have been able to do it.
It’s nothing to do with being a “weakling” or lacking self-confidence or some such. Nothing could be further from the truth! Shit, the list of women he’s bedded since I took his virginity all those years ago is long & distinguished. Just like his fuckin cock lol. I’m not sure there’s a sexually-active woman alive he can’t bed if he really puts his mind to it. Sometimes I’m asked “But what if he’s not her type?” My reply is “He’s everybody’s type!” Tall, beautiful face, gorgeous body (that he works hard to keep looking like a Greek god) crowned with a perfect ass, big cock, gentleman on the streets, freak in the sheets, educated, charming, intelligent…seriously, if you frequent this blog at all you will hear me wax on poetically (read: brag lol) about how wonderful he is in all phases of the game.
It’s quite natural to assume this is just his Mother talking & I am biased, & while that may be accurate, it also doesn’t mean it’s not true. I can submit any # of testimonials from any # of women (starting with my sister & my niece) that will confirm all my impressions. We tell the truth here, the brutal truth as I like to say, & that’s something that he & I agreed on before we ever opened up on tumblr, a non-negotiable part of our being here.
So I write all that by way of explanation to my main point: lack of confidence or hotness is not why he blatantly admits he would never have been able to “make the first move” with me. It has to do with the gross power imbalance between a parent & child, specifically in this case between a mother & her son. We’re going to create an acronym for it here: GPI. It’s a psychological thing, hard-wired into our very being. She’s not just any woman & never will be: she’s your mother. With all that that entails. This isn’t to say it is impossible, or it could never happen, via the son propositioning the mom the first time, we wouldn’t say that. What we will say is that in every real-life case that we’ve been able to verify aboard here, the mother is the initiator of the relationship.
Coincidence? Maybe. But we honestly feel, having experience of it, that it’s likely just the way these deals work. Once the son knows that’s what his mom wants, of course, well…then it’s the most natural thing in the world for him to want to please his mother, right? Just like the sunrise or the rain falling, perfectly, wonderfully natural! But the key is: once the son knows. Which means the onus is on the mother to find a way (or ways) to convey that information to him. There are any number of methods to do that, but that’s not the point here. The point is, due to the psychological GPI, if she has those feelings, it’s up to HER to try to initiate the proceedings.
Note that this is no guarantee of automatic success, either! It’s not like there’s no risk at all, not in any way shape or form! You have to open yourself up & get that across to him hoping & desperately praying he doesn’t brand you a sick, deluded old woman that needs psychiatric care & sequestration from him. This is a very real thing, danger & fear & nausea: we strive mightily to get this across in the days of free &/or cheap & easy access to internet porn 24/7 for anybody with WiFi access & a device. We enjoy porn as much as anybody else, but it’s not reality. Not by a damn sight it isn’t! It’s a beautifully-crafted fantasy to make you think it’s real, & it works. But it is NOT reality.
We’re dealing with the real, here: real men & women trying to deal with these feelings & search for an outlet for them, without running afoul of the other, or the rest of their family, or their friends, or society & its laws (laws that have very sharp teeth, by the way). Our heart goes out to all of them, really & truly. Our sincerest prayer & wish is that all that have these feelings will someday find the happiness that we have enjoyed for so long.
All that is by way of preamble to some memes we’ve seen or ideas floating about here where the woman basically “waits” for her son…whom she is already romantically interested in via having seen/heard him in a sexual situation, perhaps, or seen his mature body naked, maybe for the first time, or any # of doorways to these kinds of feelings she may develop. A woman in that situation, if she is really interested & has those kinds of feelings & is sure she would like to have that kind of relationship with her baby can NOT simply “wait” for her son to “put a move on her,” or something like that. it’s unrealistic, it puts too much unreasonable pressure on him, & because of the psychological GPI is very likely never to come off.
To repeat: just because you’re a mom, have those feelings, & are sure you want to go forward with that kind of relationship DOESN’T MEAN “auto-success” if you open yourself up to your son & reveal to him these thoughts. There is risk. Just like there is risk in trying to start any relationship you have had or want to have. With anybody. It’s no different in that respect. You need to open yourself up & make yourself vulnerable & court the possibility of rejection. That’s just the way life works in these deals.
So if you’re the mother: SUCK IT UP, CUPCAKE! Not trying to be an asshole here, but it’s on you to do something about it, if that’s what you really want & so you need to find out if he feels about all this the way you do. It’s on you. Full stop.
So at last, with all that out of the way & in light of the foregoing, lets repeat that beautiful plea we found (emphasis mine):
Mothers, if you are out there and feeling you could be with your sons, make that move. We do not know how to make that move, but we want to desperately.
So eloquently stated. So beautiful. So touching.
Our heart goes out to him & to all on either side of this divide. It really does. Mothers, if you feel this way, GET OUT THERE! Figure it out, let him know, make your move. Sons, if you feel this way, BE GOOD BOYS! By that I mean do what your mother tells you, don’t sass her or give her any shit, she tells you to do something, do it, first time, no bitching. It will go a long way to putting you in her good graces, trust me. You’re being the good boy she prayed for all those years & that she wants you to be. It’s not a small thing, it’s crucial.
If your mom dresses up for some reason, any reason, notice it & compliment her on it. If she gets her hair &/or nails done, for any reason, notice it & compliment her on it, tell her how nice she looks. DON’T BE GROSS. Just tell her, naturally. Letcha in on a little secret: ALL women love those kinds of compliments, even from their sons (that’s why we take the trouble to dress & doll ourselves up). They’re compliments, & they’re always welcome.
Tell her you love her. Tell her that often (without being awkwardly inappropriate or forcing about it). This shouldn’t be difficult because you already do. Women very much enjoy hearing how much they are loved. Share that with her. Tell her you think she’s a good mom. Tell her how lucky you feel to have her as a mom, because she’s so good to you. Once more, this isn’t difficult because it’s true. And women love it when men are truthful with them, even their sons.
As far as physical contact, this is a bit more tricky because to repeat REAL LIFE ISN’T A PORN FLICK. Maybe letting her “catch you” while jacking off into her panties will make her rip her clothes off on the spot & start passionately blowing you, but we suspect it is far more likely…far more likely…that she will scream, run out, be completely freaked out, weirded out, & disgusted, & then, when she’s collected her wits once more, probably refer you for psychiatric treatment & evaluation. Or if not that, simply “freeze you out,” talking arctic temperatures here, making everything super awkward between you, & it will likely fracture your relationship with her for a long time, perhaps forever.
Don’t do it. Just don’t do it. As the kids say today: don’t be that guy.
That being said, you certainly can kiss her at times it is perfectly appropriate to do so. Do it gently. On the cheek. You can leave it there just a fraction longer than usual. I mean a fraction. Not a fucking porn film, right? Real life. Let it linger just a tad. Smile at her. Share how good she is to you. All that creates great warmth & feeling, & it’s not the slightest bit unnatural or awkward. Hugs at times it is perfectly appropriate to do so…fantastic! Squeeze her just a bit, let it last just a bit. I mean a fraction longer than usual. NOT porn: this is real life. But who doesn’t love hugs? They’re about the most innocent thing in the world. Warmth. Feeling. Natural. Be very patient. There is no rush.
If you walk past her in a narrow space like a doorway or a hallway or a stairwell or if she’s over a counter & there’s maybe a table you need to slip past, give her just the gentlest brush as you go by. Not your hands on her fucking ass or some porn shit: just let your hip brush her, or a shoulder maybe, as you keep walking past.
I feel great danger revealing this for fear somebody’s going to misunderstand me or ham-fist the fucking thing or is not going to take my “it’s not porn” warning seriously, but if you do it gently, patiently, naturally with just the right amount of contact, what the kisses & hugs & easy brushes will do is condition your mom to the feel of your body against hers. Gently. Naturally. Easily. Patiently.
Work on your body. This does NOT mean you have to go out & get an expensive gym membership or whip yourself into Arnold Schwarzenegger. And with all the stuff about “body shaming” going on people are very much more aware of that kind of thing & we’d never want anybody to feel put out by it, that’s not what we’re saying here, we personally love all kinds of women. But we said we’d tell you the truth here, & the truth is you want to stand out just a bit from the ordinary cut of man your mother is used to seeing. It is quite likely they are a bit older, perhaps a bit paunchy or worse, maybe not as vigorous or active as they once were, maybe not paying her the sexual attention they once were.
This all accrues to your benefit. If you have a gym or can access one, just hit it a couple times a week. You don’t need to go crazy. Walking is something that is free & you can do anywhere & is great exercise, completely low stress on joints & muscles. Go as far as you like, or on any inclined surface you like. Try eating a little bit better, nothing radical. An apple instead of a cookie, let’s say. Or taking three-quarters of your dinner to eat instead of what you normally do. Drink water rather than soda. If you need a down day away from it, that’s totally fine. Don’t get upset or depressed about it, just keep going & return to the discipline & the routine when you can. It sounds stupid, I know, but if you apply just a few things like this religiously, disciplining yourself softly & gradually, you will see results.
Most importantly, your mom will too. You don’t need to show off or anything, she’ll see it, trust me, especially when she catches on to what you’re doing, & she will. It’s no secret men like to look at well-formed women & vice versa, & all you’re trying to do with all this is to very mildly get into that kind of stream, so that you strike her eye a little bit differently. And maybe that will make her think of you just that little bit differently, too. Less a little boy & more a man. And a nice-looking man, at that.
You’d be shocked (really, shocked lol) at how that can turn a person around, at least as a start, a spark (fyi: this is how it started for me, seeing my baby’s body & how it had grown up so proportionally & beautifully right before my eyes, grown into a very fine man, as it were, & I’d never really taken notice of it till then; there were other marital factors in play that compounded the visceral impact it had, but that was the beginning). Long term it is about so much more than the way you look, which always goes away anyway, one way or another (even being habituated by the other because they see it repeatedly), but it definitely helps to catch someone’s eye, to strike it a certain way, if you cut a more dashing figure than the average. And that’s what working on your body is really about, getting that start, that spark. The rest will take care of itself if she is interested. You’re only playing the percentages & giving yourself the best chance.
How about movie night? Who doesn’t love it?! It works best, of course, if you can somehow contrive it if it’s just the 2 of you (& family circumstances may help here if she’s divorced or dad works late & can’t be there or you’re an only child or a sibling or siblings have moved out or any # of other scenarios where it’s just you & her). If you can’t, no worries: it will work nearly as well even if there are other family members or friends around. The idea is it puts you in another completely natural setting & hopefully physically close to your mother. Try to sit near her if you can. Next to her on the sofa is best, but nearby works just fine. Hopefully the lights are off, or you can ask to turn them off.
And movies can set the mood: action flicks might get the blood going, comedies might make you laugh (laughter can be very sexy), romantic scenes might get romantic feelings to the surface (hopefully without the scene being too explicit that may well turn her off or make her feel awkward in front of you). Movies are good like that. Little tiny natural, gentle touches like brushing up against her shoulder or your leg touching hers add to the intimate atmosphere.
Now don’t go fucking up that intimate atmosphere with some clumsy attempt at a pass! Just be natural, be patient, be gentle. You only want to create a circumstance where something can happen if she wants it to, & you have done that. Mission accomplished & a job well done, no matter what befalls. That’s a win.
WARNING: as I told the moms, NONE OF THIS GUARANTEES JACK SHIT. You can do all this every single day from the time you’re 18 till you’re 88 & it is highly likely & quite very possible NOTHING WILL COME OUT OF IT in terms of having a sexual relationship with your mother. That’s called a disclaimer. There are no guarantees, from either side, in this type of relationship, or any other, or anywhere in life, really. You need to come to grips with that, there is no God damn magic formula. Life doesn’t work that way.
If your mom is struggling with any kind of feelings for you like that…& we honestly believe it’s rare, OK?…but there are a few that do…if such a woman happens to be your mom you have put yourself in a position to let her know you are open to more without putting yourself at unnecessary risk. Nothing I’ve said could reasonably be construed as anything other than “normal mom-son” stuff. It just doesn’t look that way, either to her or your dad or any outsider. Only you know the truth, that you are hoping it will bloom into something more. If she is so inclined, you will be just fine. She’ll figure out a way to let you know it’s OK, mature women like your mom are very clever like that, believe me.
If you don’t get the signal, that’s OK too, you haven’t lost anything! So really it’s all upside, so long as you do it gently & naturally, like I’m telling you. It’s not the end of the world or anything to get depressed over if it “doesn’t happen.” Really, it isn’t! Try to keep it balanced & in perspective & that is always a very healthy approach.
OK, this is probably the longest damn post I’ve ever made lol. We hope you found at least one thing to take away from it, be you a mom, a son, or anyone that has any questions about this kind of relationship. We’re just trying to help, from our own experience.
