I want to start writing again, but I don't even know where to start.

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@ajdpoetry
I want to start writing again, but I don't even know where to start.
Lately I've been craving your touch,
Longing for the feeling of your
Soft, angelic skin pressed against mine;
For our hands to be locked together,
Or yours to be running through my hair
As I pull you closer;
For the taste of your gentle lips...
I long to be lying in bed with you again,
Fighting off sleep, because even though
We're both tired, neither of us
Want this moment to end.
I dreamt of you again last night.
It seemed so real, for awhile,
But when your lips connected
With mine and my arms wrapped
Around you as the water cascaded
Down the two of us, standing spell-bound,
I knew it was a dream, I knew it was my dream,
And I didn't want to wake up.
Just a few steps down
An almost-hidden staircase, tucked
Around an unassuming street corner
Off a bustling thoroughfare,
You'll find me sitting in
A dark basement bar.
The wood paneled walls are
Dimly lit by the warm, worn light
Of aging incandescents.
It is cold outside, up above,
But the atmosphere down here
Is warm and inviting, as people gather
And drinks flow.
It feels a little like a secret,
Something that's been kept
From you, but no
-- you just need to look a little
Closer, and you'll find it's been there all along.
These streets look so beautiful
At night, illuminated
By the copper-tone glow
Of the olive-colored street lamps...
I can almost imagine how
Wonderful the city lights would
Shine in your eyes
The city always looks so beautiful
Freshly covered in snow.
The olive colored street lights
Shine a bit brighter
In the padded silence of night;
I am alone, standing on a street corner,
But things feel alright
Under the cool winter snow.
Alone, at night
These thoughts of mine
Come alive --
Alive, but unorganized
unable or unwilling
to be transcribed, described, or easily defined.
I lie awake
Yearning for something more,
Wrapped in memories of a time
When we were closer, warm.
Now and again those times seem so far,
Yet every so often it all feels within my reach,
If I could just bring myself to try,
And I've done it once before, but
Things are so different now; the years
Have passed by, I'm far from home...
I just don't know for sure
Whether this connection has survived
The passage of time
For you, the way that is has inside
My heart and mind.
So, a little afraid and a bit nervous,
I hesitate,
And wonder whether the courage
Will ever come
To take another plunge.
Sometimes I wonder,
Usually late at night, whether
This loneliness will ever
Go completely away...
I've been quite happy on my own --
Certainly a welcome change --
Yet now and again, mostly when alone,
That not-so-strange
Feeling that something is missing
Comes creeping back into my brain.
Sometimes I wonder
If anyone but her
Could actually make it go away...
I think I am afraid
Of the answer, either way.
I have never stopped loving you.
I have tried, the past eight years or so,
And even loved other people in that time,
As I tried to get you out of my mind
And move on with my life, but no.
Though it has ebbed and flowed
From the fore to the depths below,
My love for you could not be restrained,
And so, to this day, it remains.
today you should be turning twenty-three we should be celebrating, we should be drinking -- and dancing and singing and laughing and partying instead this day has become yet another reminder of all that we have lost, since you’ve been gone but I won’t let this be the end no matter how hard it gets I must remember, my friend, to celebrate your life rather than dwell too long on your death happy birthday, Ben.
I cannot see the end
deep down below
shrouded in darkness
yet still I wonder
should I leap?
the truth is that you will be
alone for the majority
of the time that you will see
on this planet. learn this early
and I promise that you will be
far more happy.
everything’s green
again and new,
shades of blue
and yellow too
though I feel happy and renewed
here in the sunlight
of the early spring
I can’t help but think
about you
how you should be here
and how hard everything
has been
since you left.
spring might have brought
with it the breath
of life
but this world hasn’t been
as green or as bright
since your death.
alone here I sit
listening to the rain
drops as they hit
my windshield, mesmerized
as they slowly drain
down the glass --
drip drip,
drip -- alas!
off now I must go;
to end this moment of bliss
brings me no joy, for I know
no sound quite as peaceful as this
i’m so tired of being shy it’s holding me back from being who i want to be and leading the life i want to lead i want to travel, to go out and see all that the world has to offer, to explore, to experience, to be happy, and enjoy this life that i’ve got yet, something, call it fear or self-doubt, won’t let me try but, no, enough. here and not a step further! i must find a way to break free, to unleash me i’m tired of wondering about what could be.
sometimes the dark creeps in and builds slowly to a storm crushing and tearing apart from within when the dark threatens to envelope everything remember that the sun will rise and do not give in