Akira the Wife of Basil @akirabagel - Tumblr Blog

Welcome to my profile!

Idk if this is weird or if it's normal, but while I am straight and only into guys, I only like it when they look feminine. But like, not feminine to the point of wearing women's clothing or just straight up looking like girls, but there's a sweet spot. It's made me seriously question my sexuality when I was younger and I even had a phase where I thought I was a lesbian despite having 0 attraction to other girls.

It just feels like I'm never going to meet a guy that matches my standards. Everyone looks either too masculine or too feminine. And you can't forget those people who will tell you "well if a guy looks like that then he MUST be gay!!", and while they're not always right, that's just the kind of luck I'd have: never meeting a guy who matches my physical standards and if he does then he's gay.

Does anyone else relate?

#attraction #love #no weird comments towards me please

I did basically nothing yesterday (other than taking walks) and I don't think I'll do anything interesting today either. I have literally nobody outside of my own family who is actually interested in being friends with me.

#journal #diary

I had a really odd dream last night. I can't remember any of the details, but my grandma was in it. But eventually, at some point, I realized that I was in a dream, and that my grandma was no longer with us. I hugged her immediately, and she said something that I unfortunately can't remember.

I like to think that she reached out somehow.

It was so many months ago I've barely processed her death, and it's kind of starting to hit me now. I'll never see her in the real world again, one of the most important figures in my life is gone forever. Except possibly in my dreams. That's why I like to think that she reached out.

#dream #dream journal #journal

A couple years ago, I remember working with a bunch of (now ex) friends on some Roblox minigame that was basically a Minecraft-like 2D game (think of Terraria, but with a couple more Z layers, I think 3?).

Keep in mind that I was the only person who could write in Lua(u) (Granted, I did need a lot of documentation as I didn't know how everything worked, but they couldn't code at all).

I made an inventory system, and IIRC they were happy with it. I was never told to stop there so I helped with implementing other stuff, like placing and breaking blocks. They were happy with it. I even planned to make a terrain generation system at some point.

But at some point I was removed from the developer group and was told that I was ONLY there to make the inventory system and nothing else, but then I "kept adding other stuff" that they liked at the time...

The project pretty much fell flat after that, there were no updates.

I haven't really developed anything solid in a while, but if you're interested, I do want to get into game/mod development, and if I ever work on something I'll post updates on my other blog @akiragirldev

#game development #(kinda)

I had a dream last night about a movie where people (which, shockingly, included children) would be paired up (same age only) to date for the entire summer at some field thing (not sure how that's possible since it's JUST A FIELD). When the summer would end, the dates did too, and one (or both) of the people in each couple would say "Much ado for another summer!". According to my dream notes, they "might have been able to 'choose to get married'", which I assume would mean the end of random summer dates for them.

It'd be really cool to see this adapted into an actual movie but there are things that I'd change to make it actually watchable at feature-film length. I'd certainly make it a weird one though.

Here is what I would change/have:

Instead of children being the youngest, the youngest would be late teenagers and the couple shown to get married would be young adults at minimum

I would reveal at some point that they can in fact "choose to get married" but they are not told this; when the "perfect match" is paired, they'll "just know" close to the end to get married and they'll come up with a ceremony that'll work as long as they would truly be together forever. It would take multiple couples being shown before one of them did this

The field would be replaced by a gated community. Only one couple, as well as people working at things like shops, would be shown at a time in the community, which creates questions (are there separate communities for each couple? if so, how do these communities even fit?)

My dream notes specifically said "of the opposite sex," but gay people would be accounted for in my version

Uhh, idk what else, I'll probably edit this once I come up with more

#journal #dream journal #dreams #dream

#evanescence #evanescence ep #understanding #Youtube

I always get so uncomfortable when I look at food when I'm full

#food

Is there a scientific explanation for why I sometimes randomly crush on guys just because they're nice to me?

#crush

pretence

dating men but being turned off by facial hair is very difficult in 2026

#me

I'm kind of desperate for friends or even just interaction, what can I do to make my posts more visible? Like what should I tag them with? (Feel free to read my blog, but I mostly just want to post journal/diary stuff as well as random thoughts)

#journal

cheetahprintfurcoat

one day i will have a best friend who also sees me as their best friend.

#me

pupisized

akirabagel

Religion for me. I'm technically a Roman Catholic, but I'm not in "full communion with the Church" because I agree with science and don't agree with anti-LGBT stuff, "non-Christians go to Hell", or the entire Bible (I think it's written by man and thus should be taken with a grain of salt. Tradition is more important but that should also be taken with a grain of salt).

#religion #catholic #catholicism