aKNEWday

"You could never have a GOOD day if bad days didn't exist" -My quote

[aknewday]

These are the “firsts” of the holidays that I am home alone. Home without my daughters, who have moved away to college or away in the military or off raising a family of their own. Home alone without the love of my life who lives 120 miles away, exactly 1 state that separates us, and far enough that we can’t see each other but on the weekend. Home alone without the ease of calling a friend to come over as they are still busy raising their kids; off to hockey games and basketball games and giving bubble baths and laughing at the dinner table with a house still filled with little ones.

I’m not sad. It’s weird. There is a sense of calm in my house as everyone runs around in the commotion of Christmas. I still feel as though I’m missing out on something. A part of me grieves that chaos. I sit here after a long day of work drinking an ice cold beverage , eating dinner and watching a great show. I guess I’ll wrap some Christmas presents. 12.09.19

[iglovequotes]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[iglovequotes]

https://iglovequotes.net/

[lovelustquotes]

Lang Leav

[aknewday]

[aknewday]

Maine to San Diego

Disclaimer: This was the first time I have left the East Coast. I was flying from Portland Maine to San Diego with a layover in Philly.

I work for Corporate America and my office is 1/2 mile from the airport so I decided to work all day and take a late day flight. I never considered the 3 hour time change or the fact that my roommates would be asleep by the time I arrived by Uber at 11pm. Ce la vie.

Getting on the airplane was not as I anticipated. I had my two carryons per usual. One that Trisha had lent me and the other was my typical rolling luggage that fits properly in the overhead.

Full disclosure: I had spent the weekend at Greg’s and left my orthopedic pillow at his house. Anyone who knows me knows that I now suffer from a stiff neck and back. Bad. I spent the last two days rotating ice and heat ice and attempted to pathetically stretch. To no avail. Ibuprofen might have helped but I can’t take it. I did take Tylenol with some relief. Beer it is! Why is that always the answer?

Delaney, my Field Support from work, was kind enough to give me a ride to the airport which is conveniently located a 1/2 mile from my Portland office. Anyway, since I arrived in plenty of time for my flight, I went to Linda Beans to have a beer before takeoff. One beer.

Back to boarding. I was group 9 to board. Pretty sure that’s the last of all the groups. You better be sure that I was the first of group 9 to get on. Bad.

I’m not even halfway through my story and I’m already on bad #2.

So I have my carry on luggage’s. I find my last minute assigned seating. Not too bad...10F. Fortunately I’m not in an emergency seat. Been there before after drinking. Pretty sure I was with Dee last time-on the way home from NYC-that was interesting.

Anyway, back to my seat-The kind gentleman let’s me put my shoulder bag on my seat so I can find the rare spot for my rolling luggage. I’m lucky! I find one. But this plane, is not equipped to even fit a laptop bag, never mind a piece of rolling luggage. What kind of plane am I on anyway? Is this a puddle jumper? Oh my god, I’m going to die.

The passengers on the plane are kind and gently guide my luggage and ME wayyyy to the back of the plane. Like wayyyy....to where the 1 of 2 flight attendants are where I am soon to find out that my worst fate has come true.

My luggage will be checked, free of charge to San Diego. The $40 fee has been waived. (Lucky me) “I can pick it up when I land. I have nothing to worry about” Oh boy, I’ve heard this before. My wishes of jean jackets, skinny jeans & California dressing have just landed in Ohio somewhere. I’m sure I’ll see my luggage Tuesday when I land back in Maine.

They couldn’t have told me this when I checked in? Looks like I’m going to have to order a beer now. Damnit. “Yes Jennifer, I’d love a Goose Island please” The only thing I have in my carry on is a pair of high heels, my blow dryer, and my bathroom accessories. I hope my luggage is at 30,000 feet with me....

Wish me luck...I have to change terminals. We are landing in the Main terminal and I have to make it to the A-East terminal in under an hour. Ok. I’ve got this

[aknewday]

[aknewday]

Sometimes you just click...

[thelovejournals]

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

— Bob Marley

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[deeplifequotes]

“Sometimes what you need is to avoid what you want.”

— Unknown

[aknewday]

Amen to this

[secretlywanderlust]

“The best and worst thing about words is that they mean something different to each person who hears them.”

-Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 93

“Simple explanations, miscommunications”

[aknewday]

-took the words right out of my mouth

[remnant-thoughts]

“It’s just, one of those nights. The kind that linger in all the wrong ways, the kind that leave a bad taste. I’ve come to prefer the quiet.”

— “Melancholic Thoughts” remnant-thoughts

[aknewday]

#itspalpable

[thelovejournals]

Do you know the uncomfortable feeling when you meet that person who’s about to mess up your life? It’s kind of funny and not everyone would believe it actually exists but I had it when I first met him. I love pasta so much and it was lunch but at that moment, I couldn’t eat. I ended up trying to stuff the food all in because it would be rude not to but that uneasy feeling inside me didn’t give me a rest. I never told anybody that, even to him. Well, truth be told, he did mess up my life. I was fine alone. A routine that I try not to miss, classes that can actually classify me as a nerd and poems I write about the love that hasn’t come to exist. I had friends. Just enough so I could hang out with people when I want to and have plenty of alone time. It was kind of lonely but I was fine. I didn’t look at him as someone I would fall in love with. I mean, he’s cute but he slouches even while walking. He doesn’t dress that well. I never had a “type” but I was pretty sure it wasn’t someone like him. He doesn’t talk to me a lot and maybe if it weren’t for my roommate, he wouldn’t know I exist. He loves these video games I kind of know because I have a couple of brothers who love them. I think I’m kind of all-over-the-place while he was this straight-laced boy. It wasn’t a likely combination. But I used the word “mess” twice and I think by now it’s pretty clear why I did. I never thought of kissing someone at 16. But you know, life hits you when you least expect it. And that was him. He made me do things I thought I would never do. He also made me cry a lot but damn, that boy made so mad in love that it felt like I was possessed. I think Cupid really was there and that arrow he shot right through me, it made me jump off a cliff even though I don’t have wings. It was a mess. It was pretty, yes, it was. And like all things pretty, it had to hurt. Nevertheless, I love every inch of it. Even the parts I used to hate. Even the moments I wish that never happened. Even the times when it was pure ugly. I loved every inch of it but it all went away. I don’t know where he is now or what he does or who he is with but I promised myself I would save him in my midnight skies. And I did. We are a star now. Dead and faraway but still glowing in the darkest of times. I don’t know if I will get to experience that kind of hit in the face once again. Maybe my heart won’t beat as ferociously as it did for anyone else other than him. I don’t know for sure but I know I will never forget my first love. I hope he doesn’t forget about me.

r.m.d

thebittermonosaccharide 

(via thelovejournals)

#myJG

[wordsnquotes]

Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.

Paulo Coelho (via wordsnquotes)

Exactly my thoughts

[thelovejournals]

Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together, day after day, bound not by s** or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life (via thelovejournals)

Yes!

[wordsnquotes]

I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.

Theodore Isaac Rubin (via wordsnquotes)