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It was another night of remembering how you were good to me

I miss that random check ups

I miss that random message at night— you knew how quietly i am but my thoughts were the loudest

I just miss you.

If I have a chance to go back— ayun yung babalikan ko

Just remembered you today. Kainis.

perfectquote

“Never give up on someone with mental illness. When “I” is replaced by “we”, illness becomes wellness.”

— Shannon L. Alder

For the first quarter of this year—

Nakakahinga na. Sa mga nakalipas na buwan sobrang halo halo ang lahat. Ngayon ko na nga lang ulit maupuan ang lahat ng emosyon.

I lost my spark in doing everything. Because of that one phrase that caused a wound into my heart for months. + may thesis kapang inaasikaso tas may emotional wounds kang dinedeal ang hirap.

To that one person, I hope that you are well. Sana masaya ka, I am still processing the things you have said. Minsan nakakagalit. Pero I know this anger is out of love. Laki ng epekto ng sinabi mo, ng desisyon mo. Patas na tayo. I am better on the other side. Sadyang mahirap kalang kalimutan— kasi I am still human enough to look at that wound sometimes. To lookback at our memories sometimes.And it’s good because its a reminder na hindi pa ko fully healed. Nakakalungkot lang, kasi biglang tumaas na naman tong wall ko when it comes sa friendship and I think—it’s good. And dahil don, i never believe in the concept of having a bestfriend. Yung gunting na akala ko tinapon natin, ayun hawak mo. Unti unti kong tinatanggap na tapos na ang pahina mo. Okay na ko, iniisip ko nalang na it is so kind of you to leave.

To the people who never left, to the ones I met. Thank you all for being a friend, sunday after sunday. Rant after rant about everything school, healing and random things. Andyan kayo— and I am also right here for you, I am so much willing to carry the burdens you all have.