Just for Rememberance

This blog is to share thoughts and ideas with others. I like to hear other people's opinions as well, so please do comment!

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Commitment

In the past few days, I was reminded of what it means to be committed. The word “commit” can be used in different contexts, and for at this moment, I am referring to our commitment to our choices in life.

I believe when I commit to something; work, dance, class; it means to be punctual, to be giving full attention.

One thing that I was reminded of, that I tend to forget, is to be present. Present in the moment, present in our action, word and deed.

With my commitment to the dance companies I’m part of, to take class and improve, I’ve miss socials and meetings with friends, or ask my friends to work their schedules around mine. This is a personal choice I’ve made to maximize my time to continually improve myself. I thank my friends for being understanding, and helping me in working towards my goals.

However, I was also reminded this weekend that it is not just about committing to going to a class, or gym or work, but being present. Not just physically, but spiritually as well. That means, giving 100%, being absorbed, embodying a character (when dancing), leaving everything else at the door, just be focused. When we do so, time passes by so quickly, we feel this emotional that is so overwhelming and makes our hearts so full and we are at our best self at that present moment.

I gave my all in class on Friday night, and the amazing thing was that the instructor noticed and had asked me to do a solo. I took the challenge and I was shivering at the end of it because I felt so full, embracing the character, and just growing spiritually. That to me was just and AMAZING feeling. I knew I went there at day in class. 

I want to do that with my life. Being able to commit not just saying it, physically doing it, but also spiritually and emotionally embracing it. I want to find a career that would allow me to do so. I have been feeling really worn out lately with work, and its becoming harder and harder to wake up every weekday to go to the office. And unfortunately, that is not what I want, and I don’t want to just settle for that.

I want to be able to put in the same commitment that I do for dance. Embracing it fully. The question then becomes: how do I get there. That is the next challenge.

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Artists -same yet different

I had a pleasure today in supporting my friend, Jermaine in his first poetry slam competition. Jermaine enlightened me of how he has been writing poetry for years and is taking his first step in presenting and showcasing his works. Throughout the two hours I sat, listening to two rounds of 13 poets present their work, I came to the realization that artists are the same yet different. We are similar because innately, we have something to share, something we want to express and let the world know how we feel, how we think. The amount of time and effort we devote to our art reflect in our end product. We all have this passion simmering under us waiting to present itself to the world. We are different in the forms of our expression. Some are good with words, some are good with movement and others by hand. We use different tools to form our works on the same canvas that we share. Isn't that amazing? How we all have different gifts and all striving to help fight the evils and negativity in the world, to express our feelings and emotions when we may not know any other way to do so. Appreciate the arts in this world. They should be recognize and paid more than what they are labeled now. The effort, energy and time to reach perfection, no amount of money can replace that. When you see, hear, watch, touch any forms of art, stop and appreciate, it's worth more than a casual glance.

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Remembering Andrew Krygsman

This was one of the last few photos that I had taken with Andrew. Given this was a good 6 years ago.

I first met Andrew when I had joined RCIY. He was this bubbly creature that always puts a smile on your face. He will throw a joke here and there and all you could do was laugh. He was so charismatic, anyone and everyone was drawn to him. His lively personality was what had attracted me to this person, and his sincerity and kind intentions made him a friends that everyone wanted to have.

I will never forget the way he smiles, so bright, from ear to ear. How he would never turn something down, unless he had another obligation. He never seek attention, but attention was drawn to him just because he was present.

Andrew live to serve others around him, to help those who ask, and to extend a hand for those who might say they dont need one but yearn for one.

My last encounter with Andrew was when he had just returned from Europe travels and joined my family table for dinner as we met to catch up on our lives and what the future held. I remember discussing how his time abroad had shown that people across the world aren't so different. We all want the same things and will fight for our needs. He was humbled to have been accepted to Credit Swisse as his first job out of school, and how he was looking forward to the challenge ahead.

Andrew was humble, gracious and saw the positive in others. I miss his cheerful personality. He is someone that I strive to be. Living life with meaning and treating everyone like a brother.

RIP Andrew Krygsman. You'll always be remembered.

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What Interstellar has made me think

1) Save the Earth

2) Don't lie, as you don't know how that can hurt another person emotionally and mentally.

3) Say "I love you" to those close to you. Don't hurt them, shower them with love and happiness and spend as much time as you can with them.

4) Loneliness is a really tough journey, so surround yourself with people you want to share memories with

5) I definitely don't understand space and playing with physics, totally not my thing, and probably never will be. For those who take the courage to tackle it, kudos to you.

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The Circle of Life

We live as individuals and yet our lives intertwines when we engaged with each other and form a relationship. No matter how deep or shallow the relationship, it ultimately has an impact on us. What's funny is that we don't realize it until we get hit negatively.

How many times have people said I can do this alone? Leave it to me? I can deal with it on my own? etc..Don't they realize that they are never really alone? Your actions affect someone else's emotions, actions etc. Even if it is something small, or insignificant, it will have an impact somewhere.

I've recently witness a number of incidents where the thoughtlessness of someone's actions have affected people's way of life, maybe turned it totally upside down.

We see it in the world today: wars, violence, selfishness of a leader; these create such negative impacts.

Of course, there is positives too. Sharing experiences with a significant other when they extend the invite to meet family or friends, memories that will be treasured etc.

We have to remember that we are all together on this planet, and we have to work together to bring peace, love and happiness. Your actions and words impact not just you but your network and circle. So think before acting or saying anything that can be both positive and negative.

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22nd year come and gone

It shocks me at how time flies, especially when I look back at the past year and the challenges that I had faced to be here today, a year older and (hopefully) wiser.

I can't say how much I am grateful for for this past year that has gone by"

1) Work has proven to be challenging, but I learn something new everyday. People are fun to work with and I can't forget to promotion I received as well. :)

2) I've thrown myself so much into dance and I have seen myself grown too. I feel more comfortable with my body, and I feel my confidence level growing too. Falling sick and injured during competition season was not the best to experience, but it thought me how important it is for me to strengthen the muscles I use everyday and the need to stretch and continue to improve my flexibility too.

3) I am grateful for the amazing friends that i have surrounded myself with and happy to spend time with laughter, sweat and good memories. When they say that the people you surround yourself with, makes who you are, that is so true. Feeling a person's vibes actually rubs of on you. I can't be more grateful for the wisdom that I have learned as well. To him, thank you for sharing and opening your heart and although circumstances have not made it easy, thank you for fighting them through with me.

Being away from home is never easy, but I thank God for watching over my family while I am away until I can next see them again. It is never easy, but I'm glad that it brings our family closer together and I can't be more happy about that.

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The Year 2013

2013 was definitely a life-changing year. Officially becoming an adult, no more school, working life begins.

The hardest part, and probably the part I am still struggling with is how the rest of my life will pan out, and what path in life I am suppose to take. Quarter-life crisis is definitely not fun. This definitely sparked me to read a lot of self-help books to learn more about myself, how people think and to become a better person overall. This opened up new perspectives for me, and I know that my perspective of things have changed significantly.

One thing I don't want to lose in this process is who I am as a person. Beginning a new chapter in life is always challenging with many obstacles along the way. It is so easy for me to lose myself in the process, forgetting what I love the most, and what should be a priority for my life.

What I have learned so far is that I don't want work to become my life. At least not right now, when I'm not sure whether my current work is what I want to do for the rest of my life. And if I start changing my life to surround my work, ie. move closer to work, get a car (that will cost be more than give me more benefits I would think), I know down the road, I will start questioning what I am doing with my life, especially if I end up not liking the job that I have any more.

With that in mind, I have started pursuing options to get to where I want to be. It is not easy as I know it will be a slow process and suddenly 24 hours each day is not enough to help me accomplish all that I want to do.

This year has been a struggle. Especially when God had a path for me that I was not inclined to take at the beginning. And the amount of tears that I have shed this year was way too much.

One thing that I have learned this past year which I have neglected a lot, is to pray and listen for God to lead me in my life, and to trust him more than I am currently as he knows what is best for me. I know with God, everything will fall into place, somehow, even if right now it does not make sense. And as the wise Steve Jobs said, you can only connect the dots looking back and not looking forward.

2014 has arrived, and all I hope is that the challenges that come my way are ready to be shot down by me as I face them head on!

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I went to watch Once: The Musical this afternoon. I was not too sure what the musical was about, just that it was about a Irish musician who was about to give up, and he met this lady that revived him. It sounded like a love story and I figured that I would be surprised when I watch it.

This musical surprised me in so many ways. It was a simple set on stage, a bar. And the audience could go on stage and buy drinks from the bar before the show began and during intermission. As I entered the theatre, the cast was already on stage playing various songs to set the mood for their characters as well as for the musical. It was different and I loved it.

What surprised me next was that the cast was playing their instruments live, and how it was seamlessly interwoven into each character and the whole storyline. The transition to set the next scene was also amazingly done. There was no backstage at all really, and everything could be seen by the audience, which made me more amazed.

There are so many strong messages with this musical.

1. When all seems hopeless and you have lost faith, there will be one unexpected moment that will pick you up and provide you with hope again. So persevere.

2. We all need encouragement. We cannot survive on our own. One slight encouragement could have multiplied results for the person receiving it.

3. Treasure the people around you that have supported you and were a helping hand when all seems lost.

4. The true meaning behind doing something is simply L.O.V.E. Fluffy I know, but it is for the love of someone, something, somewhere.

I encourage everyone to watch this musical (or the movie, although I think musicals are much better). I laughed, shed tears and most importantly, took in the message being conveyed.

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What Gets You Excited to Get Out of Bed Each Morning?

I have been so busy that I have not reflected lately on what course my life's journey is. Talking to one of my close friends just yesterday caught me off guard.

Life includes work and dance right now and some socializing. And I've put so much focus on the dancing part that I haven't really thought about my work part. I had briefly sketched out how my career path is going, however, I really want to be able to combine work and dance together in some way. I haven't exactly figured out how I want to be able to do that.

This friend of mine started questioning all the other things that I am currently doing. It really got me thinking about why I'm doing it. There has to be a reason, and was that reason good enough and worth my time doing as well. I didn't even know how to answer the question for the reason of why I am doing what I am doing.

I went for a dance video shoot today. I was an extra in the background for the dance. The amount of artistry and background work that goes into a 1.5min dance video is actually hours. And yet, artists still put the time and effort into putting it together. Although I wasn't dancing, I am exhausted for the hours being at the set. All these dancers that put in the time to be present do it because they love to dance. That's it.

Life really does catches up with you and I always forget why I am doing what I do. And it really comes down to enjoying it and loving it, including the hard work, long hours at the studio and muscles and bruises that come with it.

In all honesty, I know I am still on the search to find what really makes me happy and excited to get out of bed each morning. I know it is not going to come right away. Being patient and persevering through hard times will definitely get me there.

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We, as human beings, think through social networks, we’ve somehow become more social creatures.

We are vulnerable, We are lonely and yet we are afraid of intimacy..

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In Memory of...

I just finish watching the latest Glee episode which was a dedication to Cory Montieth who passed away this past summer. He played the lead character Finn Hudson in the show.

It was definitely well put together and I'm not ashamed to say that I cried throughout the whole episode. It was not just because everyone in the show was crying, but rather the emotion that they were portraying made me cry. The feeling of losing someone. I don't think anyone can really ever experience that until one has actually lost a close relative and friend. What is worse: nothing can be done to bring that person back.

As the episode ended, I thought about my grandfather who passed away this April. I don't think I really had a chance to honour his life since I could not attend his funeral or be there for my family. My grandfather led a full life. And although he never said much to us grandkids, he would always show it through his actions. Our family meal never started without him leading us to say grace, blessing our food before we eat. And that was definitely a significance in our family - a sign of respect and a bond within the family.

One thing I know that I will always share with my granddad is our love for music and dance. We have an internal beat within our bodies. During his last months, music will play in his rooms, and we would move his arms and legs to keep his body moving, so that he would not be too stiff. Music and dance was with him till the end.

December will be a good trip home to see family. I will finally get my chance to pay my respects and honour my grandfather.

Living away from home isn't easy. For all of us who took the leap, never forget where you came from. It is the foundation for the person you have become.

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"The Rose is without why, it blooms because it blooms. It cares not for itself, asks not if it is seen" - Johannes Scheffler

This poem was what caught my attention at Nathan Phillips Square last night at Nuit Blanche. Not that the cars weren't interesting, or Forever Bicycles were not as intriguing. However, the philosophical message behind this quote just amazed me. I stopped and just pondered over what it meant.

I have my life's purpose (although I'm still figuring that out) and so does everyone else. And I believe that each of our lives have some sort of an impact on others. If not, what would life be? And yet, life should be led because you want to create that impact and not necessarily expect the acknowledgement from people around you. Basically not doing things for the sake of being se

Similar to the phase: Dance to express, Not to Impress.

A lot of my friends have mentioned to me that they have not seen me dance, although I dance weekly. One could argue that it is because I don't invite people. However, performing is a great way for me to just have fun with dance. And just be in my element for just a couple of minutes. And it doesn't matter who my audience is, I just want to dance and express the music and the purpose behind it.

The simplicity of the quote and how it was portrayed on the square was stunning. I like simplicity, and how it stood out in the mass of people that night was so subtle. Just impactful.

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Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share. (Filmed at TEDxHouston.)

This is a fairly old Ted talk. However, this led me to understand myself better and the struggles that I have gone through this past week. It is easy to feel down and upset over things that do not go our way, especially things that are beyond our control. When these things occur, I know I make a vow to never put myself in such a position again. Months down the road, I might have put myself in a similar position again and again. Why?

This video really explains how as a human, to have that sense of hope, trust, and allowing myself to experience such emotions (whether positive or negative), I would need to put myself in a vulnerable position. It is about taking that chance or risk to hope for something positive that will come out of these positions that I have put myself in.

Hearing the word "vulnerable", I think most people associate it with more negativity than positivity, at least I do. But, I didn't realize that being vulnerable will then allow me to take the chances and risks in life, and vulnerability is something that happens in daily life. Doing something that scares me puts me in a state of vulnerability. However, when I have pushed past that point, the feeling of accomplishing something great makes me feel fantastic. Obviously, it can also have the opposite effect.

The question then becomes am I willing to take that chance?

I do, not because I am brave, but because I would never know the answer unless I took that step forward.

For these upsets that happened this past week as much as they are lessons, putting myself in some vulnerable state, I know I have become a stronger person within.

It becomes a humbling experience too. Embracing vulnerability. We should all attempt to take that step to feel vulnerable. There might be a sense of relief that overwhelms us after. And it might not be a bad thing.

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Importance of Quality Time

The past couple of weeks, I have spent majority of my weekends filled with one-on-one time with friends. I have come to realize that knowing someone takes the effort to go out of the way to meet them. Especially if it means rearranging my schedule to meet people.

I read an article that social media is just a way to engage people, however, it does not maintain a relationship. It is easy to just post an update about what you are up to. However, nobody is going to know how you feel or what you are experiencing at that present moment unless they are there with you.

Quality time with someone is the only way to really understand and get to know a person. Even if you have spent countless times with a person in a group setting, you will never know who a person truly is unless you have had alone time with him.

Any relationship is not easy. I don't believe that you should only go out on "dates" with your significant other. You should go out on dates with different people you want to get to know. This is the only way to create a deeper understanding and connection with a person. It is simple and easy to judge someone on the surface, and from comments that other people have said about the person. Everyone has their own side of the story. You never know unless you take at least 60 minutes to sit down with a person to understand them.

We take social media and technology for granted, thinking that we are able to understand a person through a medium. if you take a moment to sit down with someone and have a conversation, you will discover another world around them.

For all my friends that have taken the time out of their busy schedule to meet with me, I thank you for giving me the chance to understand and know you a little better. Until next time..

[aksnbong-blog]

I had a fairly emotional weekend. You know, that kind of weekend that just flipped everything 180 degrees and everything just doesn't feel right anymore.

Funny enough, my OCD kicks in and all I do is clean up my apartment.

I gave myself a good 12hours to feel upset. And then I remember the line that a friend told me "How many days do I have to waste before I can get on with my life?" That struck me as awake up call. I can carry on mourning and be upset, or I can carry on and keep looking positively at what my life has in front of me.

As I reflect on the past few months and how I've let myself end up at this low point, I realized that I was just keeping myself oblivious to the truth that was staring right in front of me. This is a lesson to me that as much as the truth is not what I want it to be, avoiding it and realizing it months later makes the truth hurts more than it would have if I had acknowledged it from the very beginning. Avoiding it doesn't make it go away, it just postpones the reality of acknowledging it. And the amount of time I have wasted by not recognizing.. what can I say: I can't gain all that time back anymore. They just become memories that I may or may not want to remember.

This song "Brand New Me" by Alicia Keys has been on repeat. It talks about a strong woman who has decided to start afresh for herself and not for anyone else. It may mean making new friends and losing old ones, but she needed it for herself. I realized that I want that for myself too. To think of the past few months, they feel shameful and I want to remake myself. The month of October is a new start as I make it towards my 22nd year of life on earth. Let's create new and better memories and make myself feel proud of the accomplishments I will achieve!

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Our 20s are a time for self-indulgence, when we relish in ourselves and think of few consequences. The goal is to get it out of our systems: to learn that we’re being selfish and to grow into better people.

This is what YOLO stands for. It is about making full use of you life. These are the lessons that we were taught growing up. However, we never took them seriously because we are too comfortable and we were never at the point where life became critical (unless you have had that experience). Such as the previous article I posted about GenY, these lessons should be taken to heart and not live to regret after, cause the feeling is awful.

I want to mention two points that really hits home:

1)Talent Only Gets You Into The Race  Having a university degree doesn't make you stand out anymore. It matters what your grades are and what you do outside of academics as well. With dance it is the same. Having the right feet or beautiful features or natural movement of the body will only set you on the path. However, without hard work, nothing much will come out of it. I definitely learned this lesson with all the hard work that I had to put in through the years.

8) Time Is Your Most Valuable Commodity

Now that I work 9 hours each day and with my long commute daily, time is definitely of an essence. The amount of time off work to dance, socialize and some "me" time has become precious. Suddenly, I don't waste tons of time on FB, and I just want to broaden my perspectives and continue to grow as a person. Time is something you can never get back for sure. Don't waste it!

Do share this article with all the other youths that will benefit from reading this article!

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Tonight was my first performance with all-female BOSS dance company at Two Worlds Apart 2013! It feels great to be part of the team that works hard, and wants to achieve and grow together. Getting up on that stage with all the other ladies really puts a milestone in my dance career. A performance that exposes me to a bigger crowd than just university audience.

Tonight's performance also shows that dance is not just an art form; it is an expression. Tonight's dedication to the Leukemia Cancer foundation was definitely worth it with $8000 raised for research!

May dance continue to inspire others and may it reach a stage where dancers are actually paid what they are worth in the industry!