PRESCRIBE

Raw Curriculum Vitae

[aldnsyf]

Have you felt when everything are just fine and almost like nothing happened to you, suddenly worry about what will be happening. And guess what, i got my face irritated and burned by one of skincare , and now it leaves sores and scars. I should have know this gonna be happening.

When everything just simply and quited, then there is something like "hai, i'll send you some problem to solve, you must've thrilled.".

I mean "thank you, but can i just have another one fine day, please..."

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

It has been a year since i wrote something, and i get good feeling to write about what i have been through these times. I'll tell you a brief outlook (boring,chaos,but also self-discovering). I know it sounds depressing but it is okay, we all little sink sometimes, simply to teach us how breakthrough all of pressure, and keep our head above a water.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Doing bad things will indeed lead to mistakes, if you ask, I will not calm you down, I will tell you what you did wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, there is always a chance, it is not a mirage from the legend that said second chance are the chance left. No one says you are a sinner, but the worst, when you are wrong, and you know what is the right thing to do, but there are still many reasons why you are not able to, even blame other people for things that you never even try. You the ine who put a bad mark to yourself, not anyone else, but why you act like people are responsible about what you thinking, all the bad things are just happen in your head. People who love you sincerely eversince, holding your hand, lending part of their body, putting all their hopes and feelings, so you don't stop. But the fact is you never want to understand and always think that no one will understand. That ks the truth, even after what they have done to you. So that's enough, more than enough, more than anyone can accept, stop whining, or water will dry out.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

In my life, I always remember trying not to do what I will regret, to regret what I have done, decided, sacrificed, even risked. When bad things happens, please never ever cursing yourself, be sad enough, get up and fix it or wake up a new one. Don't keep hitting yourself who have been hurt, then who will pay the bill, will you also do it?, I say one last time, please stop. There's no need to hurry (recovering), I know it's so painful and you're too tired (to medicate) after what happened. But never regret things, even worse make other people endure it. Never regret the things that made you happy or the people that made you happy. You really have changed so much, growing up in though weather, deep down i always know who you could be. But never tired to remind, let's let it all go and walk in beautiful path.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Stay rational. No one has the right to deny the true feelings about something, and neither do anyone else. But it's all about the way things are conveyed (if you decide to talk about them), otherwise, just act wisely even at the lowest point. It's really annoying, knowing not everyone can understand or at least try to be, like what you always do, trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes, often, above your own interests. Besides all that, you should've known that every kindness, in fact, needs a circumscription, because not all want to be treated or even do not deserve to be treated properly, obviously after what they have done. But it never nearly make you are cruel, cold, or heartless person. In that situation, you should save a part of yourself before it's all gone. With what's left I hope to hold on, and be cared for, it will be difficult, to care for something that is near death. Save yourself because now you know there is no answer yet, about who will save you?,but for now, please tame care of yourself.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Talking about the concept of self-condemnation seems redundant, but it's true we're going to get past that time. When we were young we were so fragile and sensitive, so busy thinking about life, about fulfilling what we wanted rather than what we really needed. When you are at the point where you feel yourself so bad and even evil, don't draw conclusions so quickly, you need to correct what was wrong, what caused it, and what need to do next while looking at the possible impact that might arise after. That's a long process, but it also means you really understand the concept of deepening your own emotions. When you are feel so bad, then you are a bad person. You are fully responsible for the consequences of your previous actions. But being quiet and filled with about yourself, will make you a really bad person. Because when you are in fact like that, and want to be better, you will definitely do your best, not drown yourself further from the surface. It's true that it won't be easy to go through, but if you need help, don't give up and open your heart, there are many people who are actually beside you, or those who happen to be on the same path with the same goal.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Many things that you will meet in the future. But actually the concept of the future is so fatal, people do whatever for their future, sacrifice whatever when they have hope in the future. So it makes they forget about what they already have. The concept of the future in the end is only became a projection of hope that is not currently held. One thing you shoulf know that today is our future. And that's the reality. The question is, what have you done and decided for today.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

I hope that no one is hurt anymore, or feels not understood, and even felt not heard by anyone, after my departure, I hope everything goes well for you all, I really thankfull and hurted at the same time, sincerly.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Since the beginning, nothing has ever been the same, we are different products, but we must stick together, live together side by side. I'm busy looking for ways to become one. Not to equate each other, but to find a middle ground, trying to accept, understand and respect. Because the middle point means at a crossroads. It is never difficult and no choice unless to accept what is different. Because i know life offers so many unexpected things, it must too difficult to handle alone. I choose and walk with the differences, because they complement the gaps, fill the emptiness. But when the middle points meet at the intersection point, it will feel alone, especially those who are always side by side, stop to function together. Funny indeed, knowing that so far seems not worth it, and never enough. Therefore it is necessary to stop at a point, whether it is just a pass line or an intersection. Take time to appreciate, and restore self-respect. So far, I have been very focused on saving things that do not want to be saved, understanding and loving something that never feel that way. In the end, instead of having people side by side and fighting for you, finding someone who can understand and support you is quite difficult. Too busy making peace with an intersection, in fact, the intersection point doesn't know where it will cross or intersect. If it is difficult to make peace with yourself, hoping to meet other lines that want to cross or just intersect, that would help your to make peace for yourself.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Wise people say, someone will feel lost if someone they love, leaves. They are not looking for you, either wanting to find you, even in the last moment not being with you. It never too late, realizing that you are no longer meaningful, or you never eversince.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

When you are getting tired, I hope you keep going, slowly and don't ever stop, not for now, later. After what is happening, and isn't it what you have been fighting for all this time. Don't give up on what you stand for, you know storms will really end soon, until then, do the best you could to get through, you never alone, you still have yourself.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Talking about life is indeed never ending, because without realizing today's decision can affect the lives of many people. That's right, that's how extraordinary you are, so don't ever feel inferior among others, but also always be careful and wise while deciding something, i know, it is so frustrating, but life isn't just about you. When you already realized you gone that far, emerged by your own emotion, thought and will. Take a time to remember this again. And start over.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

One day the teacher came to me and hug me, I was crying after being played by other friends, or maybe so upset because they did not understand me and never tried to apologize to me. The teacher knows me, how upset and angry I am, I will never be able to get angry and confront face to face. I asked why I was so cowardly. My teacher answers that all people are born growing up to solve their problems differently, and so do you, but maybe, many people, there is the same with you, they prefer to cry rather than hit or curse them. then I asked why, mother answered "it's because they didn't really know until it happened to them, or someone never ever tried to explain how it feels towards them", and instead of thinking of replying and hurting yourself for hating someone, try to make peace with your anger, then forgive them, then bring them together you, to show a picture from your point of view, and show your sincerity and kindness to them, so that he knows, when in that position he will never be alone. I know someday maybe i will quarrel again with same person, or maybe another, because once again you are indeed different, but you are run out of faith towards yourself, after a lot of things are gone, maybe what have you did will never be enough, but at least it is more than enough for you. Then remember to forgive them one last time, then thank you, and once again say sorry, then let them be happy, because you also deserve too. Last thing you really a good human, maybe not many people sincerely said to you, or maybe changes their words because a things, you wonderful, out there must be someone who will understand you, always there for you, even when both of you in low stats. Till that day, don't afraid to give them a lot of love, sincerly, forgive them and give them another chance. Because none of us know, they probably be that person.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

When you begin to understand "the part of loving someone, is letting them go", all the way you see things will be different, hope this is not be prolonged sadness. Just take a little time to let it flow, and when the streams starts to unruffled, you can start to crossing, then learning to grow, again.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

Not everything will go well, maybe you know, maybe you just not really admit it, or maybe there are things that are more important and worth sacrificing. Everyone has their own views, about some things that are worth to be sacrificed. Maybe for me a relationship, in all forms, I am very selfish, I do not want to lose it all, I'll sacrifice everything; my wills, my opinions, even my feelings, so that everything is going to be fine, they are fine. But as we grow up, we aware, not all the things we can control, not all mistakes we could learned form it, not all of the wounds will really recover, not all sacrifices will get understanding and respect. Maybe this is, the time bomb that has been frozen for a long time, will eventually continue to explode, if only I could know when and where it will happen, maybe i could sacrificed little bit so, it will not to be this fast. Once again not your fault, they, even us.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

A lot of bad things happen, and you might think happiness can be counted all this time. Because we will always want to remember the goodness and happiness of something and want to quickly recover from the sadness and badness of the past.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah

[aldnsyf]

They are right about growing up, everything becomes very volatile, but you are forced to be wise, whether in deciding, choosing something, doing something, dreaming something, even asking about something.

Muhammad Fikri Aldiansyah