Alec

Female. 19. I write for fun. I love the DC Universe 

[alecthedevil]

Bat cow in the dining room during breakfast! (No this is not my guess for cluedo its context.)

Jason: Well well well. Look who's too good for cereal now!

Tim: He's trying to impress the cow.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous!

Bruce: Damian I am not comfortable with this situation.

Damian: Father what was I supposed to do?! I had that crazy dream and it was raining!

Bruce: Well I had a crazy dream there wouldn't be a cow's A- S- S in my face when i'm eating breakfast!

Jason (to Tim): I know what that spells

Tim: Ass

Jason: Ass.

Jason: Hey Bruce! ASS

Bruce: Stop it!

BONUS

Duke: One breakfast. I want one normal breakfast.

[alecthedevil]

Liam: Why do you have 2 phones?

Y/N: Oh, well the iphone is for the people I like. The flip phone is for people I don’t like

Liam: I don’t get it...

Y/N:  If the iphone buzzes, I know I need to answer right away. If the flip phone goes off, I ignore it for 3 to 5 business days. 

Liam: How do you decide who gets the iphone and who gets the flip phone?

Y/N: Well, I text people like Brett on my Iphone because I like him, and I text Hayden on my flip phone because I hate her.

Liam: Ok...Which one do you text me on?

Y/N: 

Liam: 

Y/N: *flip phone buzzes with a text from Liam.*  I think you know...

[itsaudreynotaubrey]

This will never NOT be funny

[tigersquash99]

I’m so glad this is on tumblr

[tropic-mews]

My favourite thing about this is, he didn’t even have to call him ‘Captain’ he could have used the screen-name but he was SO MARRIED TO THE IMMERSION that he DID.

[chaoartwork]

Passenger: CAPTAIIIIN!!!

Captain: y-yeah?

Passenger: LOOOOOOOK!

(FULL BLAST PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN MUSIC)

[zenkovva]

my fav.

[wizardshark]

Fun fact, the developers of this game loved this video so much that they made it an official advertisement of the game

[disappointmentofthefam]

ok so when were yall gonna tell me that pacing around the room while listening to a song and aggressively acting out scenarios with fictional people is a mental illness??????

[alecthedevil]

Bruce: Damian’s at that very special age where a boy has only one thing on his mind.

Selena, winking: Girls?

Damian: Homicide.

[alecthedevil]

Bruce: Children, why do you hate the baby?

Tim: We don’t hate him, we just want to play with him.

Jason: Especially his head.

Bruce: Children, do you think I love the baby more than I love you?

Jason and Tim: Yes

Bruce: do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children must die?

Jason: Isn’t that what happened to me when you got Tim?

Bruce:

Dick: He’s got you there...

Damian: FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM NOT A BABY!

[alecthedevil]

*Jason and Duke Standing on the roof*

Jason: “Duke, the baby weighs 10 pounds, and the cannon ball weighs 20 pounds. Which will hit the stone walkway first?”

Duke: “I’m still on fractions...”

Jason: “Which do you think?”

Duke: “the cannon ball?”

Jason: “Very good. But which one will bounce?”

Duke: “the baby?”

Jason, ominously: “theres only one way to find out...”

Damian, tied up next to the cannon ball: “Honestly, fuck you guys.”

BONUS

Bruce, annoyed with the antics of his children as he opens the window: “Universe send me a sign if I shouldn’t adopt anymore children!”

Damian, landing in his arms: Hello Father.

[alecthedevil]

Jason: I did the thing.

Bruce: The thing I specifically told you not to do?

Jason: Yeah

Bruce: The thing I lectured you in absolute detail that you were NOT allowed to do?

Jason: Thats the one

Bruce: Okay, thats it I’m done! I can’t take it anymore, I am punishing you! You are being punished!

Jason: oH i’M beINg PUniShEd 

Bruce: I didn’t want to do this. I really didn’t want to have to go this far, but you have pushed me! It needs to be done! You are going to give me a hug now!

Jason: What?!

Bruce: You heard me.

Jason: Bruce no.

Bruce, unflinching: Now

Jason, hugging Bruce reluctantly: this is the most evil thing you’ve ever done. 

[alecthedevil]

*About Brett*

Y/N: 10/10 would date.

Mason: That’s Brett.

Y/N: Yeah I know. So?

Liam: It’s Brett! My arch enemy! That Brett!

Y/N: ... Still 10/10 would date.

Liam:

Mason: Well they’re not wrong...

[aus-tin-cup]

REBLOG THIS IF:

- you support trans kids under 18

- you support trans kids getting surgeries before 18

- you support trans kids starting hormone therapy before 18

[hellorrglory]

Non binary isn't trans it's attention seeking

Hey anon? Why don’t you shut the fuck up?

Please reblog this if you don’t think being non binary is “attention seeking”

Non binary folks are welcome in this blog and enbyphobics can unfollow me right now

[actuallyavo]

I WILL PUNCH THE FUCK OUT OF ANYBODY WHO THINKS NON-BINARY FOLKS ARE ATTENTION SEEKING 😃

[alecthedevil]

For those who didn’t hear it the first time: BEING NON BINARY IS NOT ATTENTION SEEKING!

[alecthedevil]

Bruce: I love all my children equally.

Tim, from outside: Bruce?

Bruce: Some of them are adults now, and don’t live here.

Dick, trying the door handle: Bruce!

Bruce: But they’ll always be welcome in this house.

Jason, banging on the door: BRUCE!

Bruce, whilst his eye twitches: They, uh, don’t bother me much anymore. I guess they’re busy...

Dick, Tim and Jason, struggling with the locked door: BRUCE LET US IN!!

[alecthedevil]

*Damian ranking his brothers from best to worst*

1. “Average.” 2. “A disgraceful idiot.”  3. “Truely pathetic”.  4. “Gross, pathetic, disgraceful, an idiot, disappointment, dishonourable, clumsy, shameful, why was he even robin?, Honestly Father, your standards must have dropped for this one, I am so much better, He’s my absolute least favourite.”

Jason: Hey are you serious?! Not cool Damian, that’s really uncalled for. We’re your brothers you know! ... who was the last one?

Damian: Tch, Tim. I had more to add.

Jason:

Damian:

Jason:

Damian:

Jason: alright keep going.

[growasmileforawhile-deactivated]

[imm0bulus-blog]

I started following this girl and her whole dash ended up these. And her last post. I can’t even say words. Anons took her life. If that okay with you, then carry on with your day. If you agree this is unacceptable and okay, then reblog and spread the word. What you say can actually change a persons life! So help out

I don’t care if this makes your dash look ‘ugly’, no matter what type of blog you have you should reblog it.

[gr9--gatsby]

If you can’t reblog this, I pity you as a human being.

[sockiepie-deactivated20170426]

;~;

[ask-doctor-jadusable-deactivate]

[blood-blossom]

This is sickening. This is why I fuckin hate most anons. Most are just pure assholes. Bullies. But I realized something. They only hate on others cause their life is miserable. So they make others miserable to try and be happy. They need something to vent their pain on

[bongsausage]

No…..I will always Reblog this….This just isn’t right

[rayyyyofsunshineeeee]

if you don’t reblog shame on you..

[circasim]

So honestly think twice, and even actually think way moooooore than twice before sending anon hate and ending up being a cyber murderer…

[pixelunivairse]

[ladyhayny]

Okay, I never reblog things, but this? people have no excuse to be treating others like that, nothing can justify your terrible actions, you horrible people, I feel so mad at those assholes.. I mean come on! The world would be a better place if you kept your shitty opinions for you, it’s not my fault if you’re an asshole but at least you could keep it for yourself instead of making the world an ugly place….

[ask-ghost-feli]

//This is awful. Why would you do something like this? How can you be so fucking cruel  to other person that didn’t do anything to you? This is just… Horrible and you’re a horrible person, you have no excuses.

[ask-angel-romano-archives-deact]

I’m sorry but why the fluff do you do this? Does it bring you some sick joy to see someone break down? To be the reason why an actual person kills themselves? Not only in it just plain wrong but you can be given fines and even be arrested for that. And don’t think you’ll never be caught because you’re on anon. The police can easily trace your I.P address and track you down. Please, a little bit of constructive criticism is fine, sometimes even asked for. But this is horrible.

[ask-angel-romano-archives-deact]

Oh~ And I’ve found something for these anons. If this happens actually anyone can find you with an easy search.

Here is a Tumblr post that tells people what to do.

[ask-aph-belarusian-figure-s-blog]

That’s the most disgusting thing possible. Why would anyone encourage someone to commit suicide? If anyone’s sending those messages to you, ignore them. You are good, you are brave, you are beautiful. It might not feel that way at the minute, but wait. Hold on a little longer, and I swear it will all work out.

[ask-alien-usa]

This is disgusting. Please know that you are all worth it. You are all needed in some way and that you matter. Don’t let anyone damper that.

[thegreatficmaster-deactivated20]

Well, we see all this shit going about…

Here’s an example of why u DON’T send hate…

Stop with that shit and go find something that’s gonna give u some sort of joy, cos spreading this hate isn’t gonna do shit for u, or anyone else.

Stop…and move on with ur life…

[leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid]

See this right here is part of what almost killed me last summer. I had other stuff going on mentally but seeing in my inbox over and over again negative things the monsters in my head were saying too just pushed. Pushed so far I was ready, made a plan, and waited for my family to leave the house so I could be alone to go through with my plan. Kind people saved me from myself but there are too many unkind people out there who are pushing and pushing those already on the edge. Stop pushing before you cause someone to go over that edge. It doesn’t solve anything, it just causes problems for people you don’t even know about.

[magicmadiplier-deactivated20191]

This really puts things into perspective. To anyone who may be facing this: I believe in you.

[zombii-pandaa]

Humans can be so cruel, this actually breaks my heart. Spread love, not fear, hate and pain. We are all in this world together, and deserve to be here, there isn’t a good reason for us to hate one another so much

[hot-wiings]

Anon hate disgusts me.

[haru-senji-deactivated20220703]

If you wanna hate on me you better fucking do it to my face. Not behind anon you fucking coward.

[nxrthmizu]

Hit me with your best, hate anons. I’ll answer it with a smile and show you your way out :)))

And for anyone who recently got hate mail: Just message me and I’d gladly help you come up with a sassy reply :) I’ve got lots of salt to throw back at hate anons.

[alecthedevil]

This is just awful. How anyone could do this is beyond me. It’s disgusting.

[alecthedevil]

*During a bat family meeting*

Bruce: The way I see it, we’ve got three options; 1. Evacuate the city. 2. Call his bluff, or 3. Engage Two Face directly and defuse the bomb. What are your thoughts?

Jason: I agree.

Bruce: With which plan?

Jason: Killing the Joker.

Bruce: Jason that wasn’t an option.

Jason, already loading his guns: No, no, you’ve convinced me.

[alecthedevil]

“Get in loser, we’re gonna make Bruce regret adopting us”

- Jason Todd to one of his brothers, probably

[charitywaterproject-blog-blog]

[caribbean-sea]

I will keep this photo posted for 1 week.

Every time someone Reblogs this photo I will donate 10 cent to charity: water

After the money is donated I will post proof of donation.

Show you care & Reblog.

always

[scvmbody-deactivated20140916]

If you don’t reblog this at least once you’re a joke.

[ditached-deactivated20151002]

Please reblog

[chlosf]

I’ve never reblogged something faster

[hexagonaldolans-deactivated2020]

Everyone deserves the right to clean water.

Everyone

[anotherknifeinmyhands]

HECCCC YEAH BABEY

[twwren]

doing it again (psst, @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses @thebootydiaries @thehugwizard @glumshoe @writing-prompt-s @one-time-i-dreamt) hecc your blog theme, reblog this and save lives

[thehugwizard]

REBLOG!!!!!!¡!!!

[dantent]

Pls guys…

[kiame-sama]

Yee!

[lovey-dovey-writes-deactivated2]

Of course!