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@alexjacobsgoodnight
These are both discord and ao3 accounts. Feel free to peruse my shitty writing or message me ☺️
https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Jacobs_Goodnight
Discord: alexjacobsgoodnight
I'm Alex Jacobs-Goodnight, Im 27 years old (female). I do hope you stick around for more shoddy writing and overall shenanigans. I promise, I dont bite. My green goblin side might, though!
OMG!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥It's really dangerous for me to go to the cinema for this film.......because the moment I see him on screen I’m going to let out a loooooong very loud moan, and they’ll probably escort me out of the theatre........
I fucking NEED him right here, right now. And Im scared Im gonna yell out Demon Daddy 💀💀💀💀💀
Bleed for Me
Chapter 10
I kept Alyx's body close to mine, rocking back and forth. I had read her letter so many times, the words blurring each time as I read.
'Cyrus,
What I'm going to do isn't your fault. I have struggled with my mental health for years, anyway. You've seen my scars, how many there are. Please, my love, don't blame yourself. I am exhausted, Cyrus. And the added voices are not helping at all. Please know this: I love you. Over the last six months, I have fallen madly in love with you. You have made my last six months bearable again. There will never be another like you. Don't ever forget how much you're loved, Cyrus.
Your little dove, Alyx Cregan.'
I sobbed into her hair, remembering how much of herself Alyx had poured into me. How much of her love she gave me.
"My sweet little dove, I am so sorry. This is all my fault.. you dying, the voices, the transformation... Its all my fault. All because I wanted you more than anything. I love you, baby. I love you more than my own life. My Alyx, my heart, my world," I confessed, my sobbing only worsening. I couldn't breathe fully, my heart feeling as if it had been ripped from my chest. I couldn't move, couldn't think. All I could focus on was my mate's cold body in my arms. I buried my face into her neck, breathing in her heavenly scent one last time.
"My Alyx, I love you," I whimpered, letting the pain engulf me completely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Five days later
A soft knock rang out through the room, the still broken door creaking open. I had moved Alyx to the bed, but I couldn't bring myself to lay next to her body.
"Cyrus? How are you holding up?" Everest's voice floated over me, tender and kind despite what had happened. I looked up at her from where I knelt, the tears never stopping.
"She hasn't moved.... Her heart is beating faintly, and she has started to breathe shallowly.. but she hasn't moved.... or woken up," I choked out, turning back to focus on my woman. I heard Everest move, barely registering that she soon stood next to me. Small arms wrapped around my shoulders as she hugged me, sniffling softly.
"I want her to wake up, too... but, we must be prepared for the worst still," Everest murmured, and I shook my head violently.
"Alyx will wake up. I know she will! She has to," I sobbed, clinging onto her hand.
"Cyrus, she hasn't yet..." Everest said gently, and I cried more. I couldn't give up on my mate, on my Alyx. She gave herself to me, yet she died alone. I can't give up on my Alyx now. Not ever.
"She has to...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I paced the room, stretching my legs. Today marked six days since my mate died; Six torturous, painful days. As I had my back to the bed, the flare of the bond overwhelmed me. A ragged gasp filled the room, and I whipped around. There, gasping in welcoming lungfuls of air, was my mate. Alive and breathing. I rushed to her side, crying more than I had since finding her fragile body.
"Alyx! My love," I sobbed, pulling her into me immediately. Small hands feebly gripped my arms, and I looked down at my woman.
"C-Cyrus...? Wh.... What happened? Why the tears?" She asked, voice hoarse and raw. I shook my head, leaning down to press the tenderest kiss upon her brow.
"You.... you died, baby. The human side of you died... I-I couldn't stop it.. Your wrists... I couldn't stop you," I sobbed, burying my face into her hair once more. Alyx inhaled deeply, tapping my arm weakly.
"Cyrus... my heart, look at me," she whispered, and I tentatively met her soft gaze. One of her hands cupped my face before she spoke again.
"I love you, Cyrus. I-I am sorry," Alyx murmured, and I crumbled. I held her close, littering her beautiful face with kisses.
"I love you more, little dove. And no apologies needed, baby.... I didn't see how bad it was for you. That was my fault, Alyx, it was. I-I did what I thought best to save you..." I murmured, running my hands up and down her back.
"You didn't know, and I didn't tell you. And, what do you mean by you did what you thought was best..?" Alyx asked, forcing me to look at her. I took a deep breath of my own before obliterating her world.
"I used an IV.. giving you my blood, seeing as you lost so much... You made it through the worst parts of the full transformations while unconscious. I think you did, at least. Seeing as our bond-" Alyx cut me off before I could continue.
"You did what?!" She hissed, sitting up swiftly. I closed my eyes briefly before telling her what I had done.
"When I used the IV, I did it to help replenish your body of blood.. I-I felt you die, baby," I choked out, "Your human side died. I felt the pain.. yet I was so blind to your daily struggle and pain. I will spend all eternity atoning for my mistakes and begging for your forgiveness." I looked at my mate, watching her every micro-expression. Alyx's face was stone, giving absolutely nothing away. I jumped when she began to speak, nerves alight with tension and anxiety.
"I.. Understand why you did what you did. But, it was my decision to die, Cyrus. And you had NO authority to save me. NONE. I had failed multiple fucking times to kill myself. And, when I finally fucking succeeded, you just had to save me. I was ready, Cyrus. At least, I thought I was. When I was in between worlds, I could hear you. I could hear you begging and pleading for me to return. And, I realized that I made a grave mistake. But, next time something happens to me, I beg you. Don't bring me back," she whispered, asking me the most impossible question there was.
"Alyx.... I-I..." I couldn't finish the thought, for what my mate had bared to me hurt. Despite her regretting doing what she did, she was right. I didn't have any right on saving her. Even if it meant I died alongside her. I took a deep, shaking breath before trying again. And what I was about to say was going to hurt us both.
"I would rather die than see you hurt again because of me. And, I understand completely if you wish our bond to be broken. To never see me again. I absolutely deserve it, as a punishment for forcing you to become something you didn't consent to. I swear this to you, Alyx Cregan, I will disappear forever after today. You will never have to deal with me again," I murmured, trying and failing to shut out the feeling of heartbreak that flooded me. Alyx gripped my arm as I got up with such strength, it made me stumble back down onto the bed.
"I NEVER said I wanted you to break our bond, Cyrus! How many times can I show you and tell you that I LOVE you?! Huh?! How many times, Cyrus? Just because I am a full blooded demon now doesn't mean I don't want you! I fucking want you more than ever! I am telling you that I don't want to be saved again. I'm tired of feeling weak and helpless," she cried, tears starting to stream down her beautiful face, " You gave me the strength to continue to live. Thats what I was trying to explain to you! When I was in that torturous purgatory, I realized that I did want to live. I wanted to live with and love YOU. The one who chose me, who saw through the tough exterior. The one who soothed that deep rooted ache inside me. The one who chose to love me for everything I am, even when I'm being cruel and difficult. Yes, I am still going to be mad at you for what you did. But that will fade. The fact that you chose for me, to save my life, is priceless. Cyrus, I love you. And I am fucking beyond grateful that you chose to change me." I broke down once more when she finished, and she pulled me into her arms. I pressed my ear to her chest, hearing the strong thrum of her heart. Alyx held me, just as I held her.
"Answer me one thing, my love," Alyx started, and I hummed as I buried my face into her throat.
"And what is that, little dove?" I responded, moving to prop up against the pillows. She curled into me before asking.
"Why do you call me your little dove?" Alyx murmured, nuzzling my jaw.
"I call you that because of the peace your presence brings to me. You're the calmess after my storms. You soothe me just by a simple touch. I couldn't have imagined being graced by such a beautiful, gentle, kind and loving mate. You're perfect, Alyx. Even when you feel like you aren't. You are everything to me. I cannot live life without you now. Life had no meaning until you came along. Every single day, I shall cherish my time with you. Worship you in every conceivable way. That is the absolute least I could do for the woman I love," I replied, kissing Alyx with such reverence. When I reluctantly pulled away, she curled into me completely. The last thing I remember before tumbling into slumber was Alyx whispering that she loved me.
Taglist: @ghostlybfgf, @asterionex, @curbitkirby, @clumsycopy
Hi was wondering when the roddy the ruin fic was being released😊
There's been a lot going on in my personal life, but I promise I am working on it slowly! Im hoping to release it by the end of the month..
What are your thoughts one Ole Munch's line, "I'm a nihilist", given the whole immortal sin-eating thing? I'd love to hear what you think (also he looks so precious when he says that)
Given the religious and physical trauma Ole had gone through in his 500+ years of life, I feel like its only natural he would be nihilist. He was forced into something he didn't want to be a part of. And I can understand his perspective on the way people work and how he shuts out the typical human concepts. And I have to agree, he is a precious bean who needs to be protected at all costs.
Imagine fucking Ole in that chair, though...
😶😶 now ive got ideas
His hands… I love them. They're so beautiful.
Gotta love when you know you're an annoying piece of shit and people don't want anything to do with you. I will fulfill everyone's wish and stay quiet permanently. I ain't dying, though some would secretly wish I would....
I need him
