Xuebing Du
Monterey Bay Aquarium
if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document
Three Goblin Art
AnasAbdin
#extradirty
DEAR READER
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
cherry valley forever
sheepfilms
🪼
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
hello vonnie
No title available
Not today Justin
KIROKAZE
izzy's playlists!
Cosmic Funnies
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@alickrowan
tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it
this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr
the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound
What they aren't telling these kids that's really dangerous is that if you do make it all the way to the heart of a Scientology building, the autosave will lock you into entering the Tom Cruise boss fight chamber, and you won't be able to leave until you defeat him in combat.
And if you somehow manage to glitch yourself out of the building, cruise will still be aggroed on you no matter how far away you get.
But it's not like you will get all that far away in the first place:
Scientology bred him into the perfect anti speedrunner weapon...
Children, listen to me.
His health bar moved. So he can be killed.
"Oh you had a plague? Come back to us when you had a World War, brand new unconventional weapons, and a new international order."
I apologize.
insert that YOU chihuahua post where theyre being pinned down i cant for the life of me find it
This one?
Oh, Charles. The hubris. Honey. You had to know this was a possibility. Why would you tempt Apollo like that.
I love how we don't even need Apollo to be captioned, it's just "he's holding a dodgeball and looks Greek statue, of COURSE it's Apollo delivering the gift of prophecy unto unsuspecting tumblr users"
Absolute fucking trainwreck of a post
Oh gee I wonder why this is going around again
Art
How. Interesting
Absolute bog standard post
@charlesoberonn
How about now?
Still not as bad as 1910s and 1940s but definitely getting there
@argumate
you verb noun?
You verb noun? You verb noun like the comparison? Oh!! Punishment for title! Punishment for amount of time!!!!
You deconstruct meme? You deconstruct meme into its base parts? Oh!! Explanation for readers! Explanation for one thousand reblogs!!!!
Miette, the gift that keeps on giving.
oh miette
Hannibal + UNHhhh quotes (3,?)
i think we're ALL disney's first openly gay character
I’m not Disney’s anything
make chocolate chip cookies
all purpose flour
baking soda
salt
softened butter
granulated sugar
brown sugar
vanilla extract
egg
chocolate chips
gravel from the driveway wait why is this an option wait dont pick this one
how long should it bake
+1 minute
-1 minute
and at what temperature
+10°f
-10°f
the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck
this is what ancient greek philosophy is like
False! “Sightly” is a positive word, so the default way for things to work is good as well.
The true most ordinary object is beautiful, horrible sounding, very smelly, intangible, and delicious.
I still don’t think it matches anything in existence but to truly understand a thing one must know its true nature.
"touchy" is also a word! however it's mostly used for things that aren't objects, like subjects of conversation. it either means "oversensitive and irritable" or "requires careful handling/wording, delicate"
i think the second one works well for our hypothetical object. so we can use that.
therefore, the Default Object is:
beautiful
makes a horrendous sound
smells absolutely awful
is very fragile
tastes delicious
and i still cannot think of anything that matches this
behold, the default object!
DEFAULT OBJECT FOUND
fat hairy belly
show me your cooooooooooooooooock
Show me your buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutt
Pussy*
balls*
TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.
via reddit.com
Jesus ffucking christ bro.
Seems like he had an oral fixation… Almost as if he were replacing the cigarette with… No i shant say…
Then we’ll all say it together
F
incredible stuff happening out there
#me when people ask why i have a [tumblr]
WEAPONS (2025)
dir. Zach Cregger
humans are space orks: earth food pt. 3
Alien: 𝘉𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯'𝘴 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘤 "Human!!! I am DYING."
Human: "What? Hubert, is this you being dramatic again?"
Alien: "No! I- I ate some of your yellow squares out of the fridge-"
Human: "You ate my food??"
Alien: "- and- and it was really good in the moment, but, I can- I can FEEL IT."
Human: ".... I mean, I brought pineapple, but I don't see how that would-"
Human: "Wait. Ohhhhhh."
Alien: "What? Am I dying? I told you I was dying."
Human: "No, no, you'll be fine in like, ten minutes. Pineapple just does that.
Human: "See, it kind of eats you from the inside out. That's why your tongue gets all... ouchies. I guess you can feel it traveling through your digestive track?"
Alien: 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦
Human: "But don't worry, you'll be fine. It can't eat you all the way."
Alien: "HOW MUCH IS IT SUPPOSED TO EAT???"
