Manifested It!

[brookieoftheyear]

My Sad, Sad Friend Talks Only About Herself

I want to be there for her. But it’s exhausting.

[aligning-and-attracting]

Have you ever considered creating a Substack? You would have so much potential!!

I have a column about religion for my shul group, yeah.

[aligning-and-attracting]

I had to train myself to think, “I hold no bitterness in my heart, just sadness that it didn’t happen”, make that my mantra, and fully believe it before I was able to come to terms with the fact that no one failed; it just wasn’t my time. Even in situations where I have felt I’ve failed or known I haven’t done my best, I repeat something similar to rid my mind of negativity, take responsibility, and move forward with the belief that my time will come around again and when it does, I’ll be ready to do my best and take advantage of having more knowledge.

[aligning-and-attracting]

There are a few families who attended our shul when I was growing up who were very, very wealthy. These people weren’t encouraging their children to skip college; they encouraged education and prioritized getting their children private (secular) education. The kids were vaccinated, well-read, exposed to the world, well-traveled, helped to be popular, given medical and aesthetic interventions when needed, raised in communities and encouraged to get involved, and put in positions where they could succeed. The mothers and fathers were educated; engaged with their families and communities; took advantage of having the world at their fingertips; and didn’t waste time helping their children become well-adjusted (and usually well-liked).

Even watching the younger generation of mothers now, the same patterns are repeating. The children are able to communicate, they’re well-adjusted, eager to participate, polite, involved, have friends, and are surrounded by a community that they look forward to participating in. Even the teenagers, there’s a whole group of them who leap at the opportunity to be involved, who easily make relationships with their peers and maintain them, who’ve been given opportunities to succeed and found their own opportunities, who are open-minded, who present themselves well, and who know how to speak. They’re confident, interesting, engaged with the world around them, expect to do well for themselves, and know what they want from life and what they have to do to get it.

I spent a lot of time looking through my Bubbe’s scrapbooks when I was younger, and there was an entire generation who’d come up from the dirt and had immense success. People who’d come to America with no money, no ability to speak English, no community, and horrific trauma but had thrown themselves into doing well for themselves and making their own lives, building families, participating in communities, and establishing relationships with their peers. What I’m trying to say is that these people were mostly raised by people who wanted them to succeed, and in the case that they hadn’t been raised by families like this, they were people who knew what it took to succeed and knew what they had to find within themselves in order to be happy and have the kind of lives they wanted.

It’s not that I think that anyone can do it; it’s more that I believe a certain type can do it and that type tends to either be resilient, know what failure and/or poverty tastes like and would do anything in their power to avoid that, have huge goals for the future and know how to plan for success and isn’t easily derailed, not care about failure and not be easily dissuaded, or have no backup plan but themself. I also think that the people who do end up succeeding are confident in themselves and take appropriate risks, are willing to work, and don’t let outside noise or movement take over their lives. This is definitely easier said than done, but to succeed, you have to want to succeed and not allow yourself to be influenced by many things and build a strong foundation for the rest of your life.

[mylittlefag]

You are DEAD longer than you are ALIVE And you aree WASTING IT by GIVING IN TO FEAR FEAR FEAR IS THE ENEMY

[aligning-and-attracting]

Sometimes, to get the best results, you have to go in person. I grew up with my mom telling me to get up, dress nicely, go down in person, never lose my temper or my patience, and be willing to wait around a while to be heard and get things handled in a way that you like.

I thought I’d have to live in student housing when I first decided to move to DC, but because I was admitted off of the waitlist so late in the game, all of the best spots were more or less taken. I went in person to talk to someone from housing and sat around for almost 2 hours, and she couldn’t do anything for me in the moment. I got back and called my mom, and my mom told me to write a review saying, “I went to housing today with no expectations, but I spoke to Paula, and she made the experience great." Regardless of what happens, I know that I’m in good hands, and I really appreciate being able to speak to somebody who I know cares about my wellbeing." Posted that with my full name and then waited. Two weeks later I got a call from Paula thanking me for the kind words and telling me that she’d seen the review, asked me to remove her name from it, and told me that she’d found a spot in my residence of choice that she’d love for me to have. I took the spot and held it until I was sure my housing in D.C. was secured, and then I wrote her back to let her know the good news. Had I not gone in person, I wouldn’t have made the connection, gotten my name on a waitlist, and gotten things handled for myself. 

I was one of two candidates who applied for my previous position. I kind of knew I wasn’t going to get the job because the reality is that I didn’t have the qualifications the other girl had. I told my mom, and I was so sad, like so upset, and she asked me if I meant the gallery I’d applied to or the large corporate law firm, confirmed it was with the gallery, she sent me to my closet, we chose something nice, and I went back down with a plate of chocolate babka. It wasn’t just me and my now boss; Kennedy and Julia were there too at the front desk, and I spent so much time just talking to them and having fun, and they called my boss out, and I gave him the plate and told him that I understood if he wanted a new hire with more experience but to keep me in mind if he wanted an intern or a secretary. Put the social skills (and the baking skills) on display, left with the job secured and the papers signed, and started the next day. Had I not gone down and made a second appearance, I wouldn’t’ve gotten the job offer. 

Whenever we wanted something as children or an opportunity was “closed” to us, both my mother and her mother would find a way to make it happen. I grew up hearing from strangers (to me) that my mom could get it done and knew how to get it done too; nothing was ever too big for her to handle, and there was no deadline too close for her to beat. When I was younger and didn’t know how to advocate for myself and certainly had no ability to get up and just do things, she would say, “if it’s meant to be, it's up to me”, and she’d show me how to get things done. My Bubbe knew how to make it shift like nothing else; she could turn the tides within an hour and make anything turn to her favor. She was the mastermind of our family’s success; she’d made her own life for herself at not even 16 with nothing to her name, and when her world was quite literally against her, she kept her wits about her and managed to pull through. She told us growing up that one of the only things she remembered about her own mother was that she was overprotective, that she advocated for her daughter, and that she worked hard to make a beautiful life for her family, and those memories carried her from the moment she lost her. 

You have to be willing to inconvenience yourself in the pursuit of what you want. Whether that be turning up, reaching out, following up, spending time doing research, or whatever it might be. You have to invest your time and effort into yourself and what you want instead of being afraid of what could happen. It’s better to be seen as someone who’s a go-getter than to do nothing and be seen as someone who won’t ever be able to do anything for themselves. In order to get things done, you have to get yourself out and stay out until you know that what you want will come to pass.  

[kiefbowl]

women are so disconnected from their sense of self. asking others permission to want things and wondering if their feelings are allowed. my wish for all women is to start feeling entitled to their lives, entitled to their material existance on this earth, entitled to all that comes with being human. it's a lot easier to stand up for yourself and not tolerate mistreatment when you turn "am I allowed to feel angry?" into a definitive statement of "I'm angry."

[brookieoftheyear]

Why does everything feel so joyless? Welcome to the age of decadence without pleasure | Michèle Mendelssohn and Charlie Tyson

Decadence in our era comes in technologically mediated forms, emptied of desire and obsessed with self-optimisation

[gaytanic-panic]

[aligning-and-attracting]

What do you do when you need motivation?

I don’t believe in doing most things motivated because if I let myself wait around for motivation, I’d never get things done. I do things because I’m devoted to myself and I enjoy the feeling of having completed something. I guess that’s a form of motivation in itself but I don’t really have external motivators (other than my bank account) because that wasn’t how I was brought up.

When I want like general life motivation, my mom was the second to last in her friend group and shul group to marry, and my Bubbe kept a scrapbook of her and all of her friends’ achievements. It’s hit after hit after hit with the design, the different announcements, and the backstories, so I read through that sometimes just to get inspiration and to enjoy seeing all of the pictures.

[saintfelina]

*pervert voice* okay so im the princess and youre the knight sworn to protect me

[aligning-and-attracting]

Had to do all of my recruitment fits without you. Shit had me almost suicidal for like 4 straight days.

You should’ve texted. I would’ve shown you the new YSL heel drip, and my mom would’ve even helped out. I’m back from Miami and can do fit reviews later today.

[inflatable-girlfriend]

Sheet masks 3-4 times per week.

Electrolytes, a fresh juice, and supplements every day.

Fresh sheets and pillowcases every week.

Daily skincare, SPF, and lipcare routine.

Fresh mani-pedi with cuticle care every two weeks.

Brow tint and lash lift every 6 weeks.

Hair wash and blowout right before the weekend.

Brow thread and shape every two weeks.

Eight to nine hours of sleep every single night.

Pilates, yoga, and cardio at least 5 times per week.

Posture correction and ankle strength exercises.

Biweekly lymphatic drainage massages.

Monthly facials and daily gua sha.

Biotin, Collagen, and minoxidil for the hair.

Two everything showers every week.

A very low dose of peptides every 2.5 to 3 weeks or so.

[aligning-and-attracting]

My Bubbe often talks about the first few months after liberation, and something she always mentions is being able to restart her life and restore herself. She had a clean environment for the first time in years; she could do anything. She was her own woman, under threat of nothing; she had a little notebook, and she was able to write things down. She had absolutely nothing, but she was a free woman with a whole life to make for herself and so many things ahead of her. 

One of her favorite things to do, whenever we’d tell her we didn’t know what to do with ourselves or our lives, was to sing “imagination, life is YOUR creation” from Barbie and then tell us that we had to first figure out how to make our lives before we could ever be happy. She spent a lot of time encouraging us to pursue what we wanted when we were younger; she still does. I just called her to explain and describe all the things I’ll be doing this fall, and she had things to recommend to me, and we sat and made my life together for a while.

One of her life rules I’ll always follow is to clean myself and my home up, move my body and nourish myself, write and pray, get ready for each day, and do something every day, even if it’s just a small errand or a little chore. I remember being very, very young and seeing how peaceful she was, how she put herself together, how much grace she had, and how she lived her life. We’d also do a lot of things together; she was constantly taking us to cultural enrichment activities, reading to us, taking us to our activities, participating in life with us, showing us how to do things, having fun with us, and making an effort to teach us the skills that would help us make something of ourselves. Anything we wanted to learn, she would encourage us to pursue and teach us, and she spent a lot of time encouraging us to see the world how she saw it and pointing things out that she thought we should see or experience.

Another one of the things she always taught me was to always have something fresh and nice in our spaces, something alive and thriving. Fresh light, fresh flowers, and a way to get fresh air circulating were the things she encouraged the most. She’d talk about being horrifically ill and then her fever breaking one day, sitting up in her hospital bed, and seeing a vase with fresh flowers. Throughout my childhood she made sure that our home had fresh flowers, huge peonies in the spring, vast assortments of whatever was brightest and most beautiful in the winter, hand-arranged designs from the farm stores and markets in the summer, and beautiful autumn-themed arrangements come fall. She also believed in always having a little something sweet prepared; even if it was just a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and an assortment of mint Milano cookies on a nice dish, she always had something sweet ready. Now that I live away from her, I find that both are beautiful additions to my own home, make my life very enjoyable, and act as a little reward.

[aligning-and-attracting]

How do you figure out what to wear when you're just getting into things?

One of the best known proverbs is “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”. It basically means that when you go somewhere new, you should try to fit in (or assimilate if you’re staying a while) and follow the local rules, habits, traditions, and customs of the locals. 

If you’re moving somewhere new, wanting to join a new social group, starting school or a new job, entering the dating scene or the social scene, or have spent a while out of the loop, sometimes it’s best to look at what everyone else is doing so you have a sense of what’s appropriate, what’s desirable, and what’s trending before you make any decisions or spend any money.

When I was planning on moving to Dallas, going to SMU, and rushing, I was reaching out to the girls to make my first connections, see how they were styling themselves, and really get involved. I have an entirely different wardrobe and vibe when I’m visiting the UK; I lived there for so many years and know what works for me there, know what my friends and favorite people are wearing, and know what works in the weather and through traveling, the different seasons, and for all the different social events, holidays, and special occasions.

If you’re just starting out and don’t know how to style yourself, look at what the in crowd is wearing. Why worry about dressing too casually when you could look and see what the vibe is? Some of my favorite (non-influencers) have Revolve favorites pages; TikTok and Pinterest exist so that you can easily find fashion and style inspiration; Instagram is easy to navigate if you know what you’re looking for; and the world is swirling around you and ready to be seen with your own eyes. 

[grumfy]

just learned that my friend’s sister likes to learn what cologne her boyfriends’ dads wear and then buy it and layer it with her perfume when they’re having sex to create a Freudian effect. omg

[aligning-and-attracting]

Hi! You may have been asked this question before, and feel free to divulge as much as you’d like for privacy, but may I ask what your line of work is / if you wfh? I’m exploring careers and very lost as to how to proceed, but every time you share something about your job it seems like something I want to do!! I’m just intrigued by the concept of having a job where you can travel often and it seems very flexible! Thank you :)

The traveling is a combination of my dad, boyfriends, and yes, myself and I had so much freedom because I worked for a relatively religious Jew so my schedule was Tuesday through Thursday with the holidays, the whole summer, and much of the fall off/partially paid.

I worked for a gallery and would do ID and PS projects on the side to supplement my income and because I loved it. I was able to work from home but don’t enjoy that which is why I left my job for a new one when I left New York. I don’t work for non-Jewish establishments, it gets too complicated with the time off I need and my mom always encourages me to work and buy Jewish.