i (sadly) love men that are covered in blood

Alex -- she/they -- bisexual + genderfluid -- 27 -- been here far too long -- if i know you irl do me a favor and pretend this blog never existed -- icon by cerealism_tattoo on insta

[junewild]

incredible innovations on the beverage front

[aromanticduck]

Free service with ads: Well, if I'm not paying for it they have to foot the bill somehow.

Paid service with no ads: Well, if they're not funding it with ad revenue, they need to charge us something.

Paid service with ads: Well that's bullshit.

"We used to be a paid service without ads, but now we're putting ads in it! If you want the ad-free version you have to pay more for preeeeemium": Fuck you fuck you fuck you

[juststarsandthemoon]

Free service with no ads: Okay so these guys are stealing my data

[unification]

you can access a different mode by washing your hair

[fullmoonguidance]

thank you for playing stupid games. unfortunately due to ongoing supply line issues, right now we can only give out normal prizes

[goatsgomoo]

Man this store has a weird playlist, it's all Weird Al songs but with the lyrics switched out for ones that aren't funny.

[deslizada]

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

[sugarsylvie]

Eevee finally accepts the cone!

[weirdtranssexual-deactivated202]

i mean this in the nicest way possible but some of you need to learn how to be annoyed

[weirdtranssexual-deactivated202]

people are going to annoy you and that’s not a reason to burn bridges or blow up relationships

some people will even annoy you often! some people aren’t good at social cues and will therefore be frequently annoying! still not a reason to blow everything up!

[honey-lys]

has anyone figured out how to be a real person yet

[chirasul]

just me. and i'm NOT telling

[gutmunchies]

what the fuck. come on

[yellow-cat]

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[maxxie-or-smth]

stop romanticizing your problems. start sexualizing them instead convince yourself you are into every bad thing you experience

[blckgirlacid]

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

[3000s]

the grocery store should be open 24/7 but they should let the employees go home and just trust us

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

[wiremotherworshipper-deactivate]

"i just don't like masculine women" literally i'm so sorry for you loss. i hope you get well soon

[pangur-and-grim]

my humours have balanced. I have become mentally normal again

[pangur-and-grim]

no, mentally normal people can still write spider sex books