[depsidase]

[absolutegibberishandnumbers]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[progressivemillennial]

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[juicetrump2]

Chick-fil-A mounts PR campaign to push back against its anti-LGBTQ+ reputation - LGBTQ Nation

The chicken chain was told to "cluck off" the last time it tried to move into the UK. This time, it hired bigger guns.

[tehjleck]

me: "have they tried not being fucking ignorant religious bigots?"

article: “I suspect that a bit of the steam has gone out of the LGBT thing,” Backman told the right-wing outlet, staying ahead of the issue. “There may be the odd protester, but if they have got armies of PR people laser-focused on that then I suspect it may be OK.”

me: no surprises there... fuck them

sandwich recipe

[jackedjacket]

It's so weird to me when people are like 'but that will cost the government money!' So what? They're the government, they're supposed to be spending money. What, you want them to take your tax dollars and then do nothing with it? Lock it all up in a big government vault and just look at it? Why are you so scared of giving a third grader lunch or a homeless person a house.

[ef-1]

Anyway if nothing else matters then I hope people remember that Pope Francis used his last public address to call for a ceasefire in Gaza and call Israel a terrorist state:

"I continue to receive very serious and painful news from Gaza. Unarmed civilians are subjected to bombings and shootings. It is terrorism."

[mouthtapedguy]

lions are very mean and like jellyfish

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Something something purple monkey typwriter dishwasher. Such bigly. Much people are saying.

[guerrillatech]

[guerrillatech]

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[etherealspacejelly]

i think we should all start using arabic words and phrases more often because its a beautiful language and also theres not really. english equivalents that have the same vibes

theres also the comedy potential of it. you guys dont know the joy of having your muslim friend text you "hopefully the racists in our city will all get sick and cant go to the protest" and you, as a pasty white guy, responding with "inshallah they get covid"

its a one hit KO every time. its fucking hilarious. theres no english word that has the same effect.

he also once texted me that he got over a mysterious illness he came down with (i think? i cant remember the exact context) and i responded with "subhanallah he is cured"

again, one hit KO. he lost his shit.

what im saying is we gotta normalise arabic. its just a language like any other, and it has some great words. its just like saying "thank god" or whatever, but theres so much variety and nuance. its beautiful

[silly-demon]

what do inshallah and subhanallah mean so I could potentially use em in the correct situations? And potential words I could use?

[etherealspacejelly]

OK LETS DO THIS

disclaimer i am not arab or muslim and i dont speak arabic but @frogofalltime has explained these words to me and says im using them correctly lmao

inshallah - "if god wills it". like an "i hope this happens" kind of thing. remember the finding nemo poster "inshallah they find him" meme if that helps. used in future tense.

mashallah - "god has willed it", used when something good happened. can be used to denote awe about an event or person. used in past tense.

alhamdulillah - essentially "thank god" or "praise be to god". like mashallah and inshallah but stronger, and can be used in any tense (i think). he will be baked soon alhamdullilah

subhanallah - "glory be to god". like alhamdullilah but stronger. used for when something almost miraculous happens!

those are all the ones i remember off the top of my head im sure binya can add more (and also confirm whether ive got my translations right)

[frogofalltime]

mashaallah robin my faithful student you translated and explained all of this so well :0

there's also astaghfirullah which means "i seek forgiveness in god" which you use when you or someone else does something haram (forbidden / sinful / wrong). tbh we use it in a lot of jokey contexts like if someone swears in a conversation you can call them out like "astaghfirullah haram !"

and bismillah which means "in the name of god" which you can use before doing something, we often use it before doing a difficult thing like when you are struggling to open a bottle or something lmao. or you can say it when someone falls or drops something or gets injured. idk

[headspace-hotel]

appalachians need this they will be unstoppable

[maniculum]

There’s definitely something to doing a mix-and-match with semantically-similar rural-American colloquialisms. I think “Inshallah and the creek don’t rise” has a nice ring to it.

[headspace-hotel]

Lord that rolls off the tongue so good 😭

[prokopetz]

What we’ve gotta understand is that “the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults” and “the modern Internet is abolishing space for children” are compatible phenomena. Neither group is being favoured: the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults (i.e., because grown-up topics aren’t advertiser friendly) and the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for children (i.e., because online communities which consist principally of people who have no money are hard to sell things to). The Internet that contemporary corporate interests are trying to build isn’t a space for anyone – it’s the digital equivalent of an Ikea showroom.

[prokopetz]

Like, when I say that the greater part of contemporary social media is fundamentally hostile to human life, I’m not indulging in hyperbole or constructing an ironic metaphor. I mean that 100% literally.

[theconcealedweapon]

[subdee]

Just an extremely Normal thing to say

Reminder they want to increase the budget for ICE from 3.5 to 45 billion dollars.

Reminder the majority of that will be for building new detention centers.

Reminder ICE are *currently* detaining tourists who can pay for a plane ticket home and people with visa issues that were already resolved, because they have to make quota so Trump can brag about the numbers going up.

Reminder most of these people were already in the immigration system - that's why they were easy to detain.

Reminder this is all at taxpayer expense.

Reminder these are people.

[necronomipod]

Reminder that these are people