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Along with Tumblr’s announcement of their intent to remove pornographic content from their site came a new challenge for bigs and littles alike.

Check out our new blog at alittleanddaddy.littles.space!

I look forward to the day this actually gets to happen

“Two hundred and ninety-one days ago, I got a message out of the blue. At that time, I don't think either of us had any idea that it would lead to all this. One week later, I asked you to be my Daddy, to become part of my life in a way that means more to me than you can ever know.

Since then, you've made me cry tears of joy, been there to help me up when I’ve fallen to my lowest,and given me experiences I will treasure for the rest of my life.”

(Edit: this was written for daddies birthday last year, and included as part of a longer message in the card shown in the picture, but not posted until now. I also gave him the handprint canvas and pictures!)

#alittleanddaddy #infantilism #caregiver #daddy #little #littlespace #little boy #little space #sfw littlespace #cgl #cg/l #cglb #cg/lb #cg #lb #dxlb #d/lb #ddlb #sfw ddlb #sfw

Little anchors

When the topic for this discussion came up my little boy and I were having a massive heart to heart about rules and punishments and their importance in our dynamic. Somehow this topic came up and I think it’s an interesting one to discuss so here goes.

What is an anchor?

I don’t really know if there’s a specific term for this but as someone with a scientific background, I can’t help but have noticed this trait within our community. A “little anchor”, in my definition of the term, is something that a little will place an unusually high value on being there for them, something where to others might be nonsensical to be valued as much as it is. For most littles, this will be something like a blanket, a set of pyjamas, or more commonly a teddy bear or other plush toy. When I say being there for them I mean that they have an unusually high drive to have that item with them as much of the time as they can reasonably keep it to hand.

What is the anchor of my little boy?

As much as it seems like it would be his teddy bear Chiron, I believe that I have worked out that his is just as likely that his red blanket which features in so many photos on the blog. He takes it everywhere with him and it helps him to sleep. It has all the hallmarks of an anchor. Both Chiron and the blanket seem to be anchors for my little as far as I can tell because they both go almost everywhere.

Is it always at bedtime?

Certainly in my experience bedtime is when it almost always manifests itself, but I’ve seen it at other times as well. Outside of bedtime a little anchor tends to only come to my attention when someone is in littlespace. With @little-alteran this usually holds true. I’ve often seen him feel very warm and want to be undressed (down to his nappy) but yet despite being too warm he will sometimes wraps up in his blanket and can often be seen cuddling up with Chiron.

Why anchors?

I’ve done no real research other than observation on this topic and I can safely say I’ve done quite a bit of that. I am aware that there is a similar phenomenon in children but the reading on that subject seems to link its being caused by a different source to an anchor of a little who’s into their teenage years or an adult.

It seems that these items are often manifested as items that are bedtime related. Something that can be taken to bed or be there at the bedside when it’s bedtime to sooth a little into a state of comfort. Without much research in the field, I’ve found that even when not in a headspace that the ‘need’ to have the item tends to remain.

In my experience these items have to be considered something of note in a littlespace. A mobile phone or other items that you don’t associate with being ‘cute’ in a littlespace sense never seem to be anchors. I’ve come across, plush toys, blankets, pillows, and even things like hard plastic dinosaurs being anchors. Albeit the latter one being something that particular little left on his bedside table at night.

One of the more interesting things I’ve noticed over the years is that anchors tend to be something that the little often doesn’t feel is as important as their CG might have noticed the item to be. Sometimes there’s a level of active denial to that fact and even more significantly they suggest they don’t need it as much when the topic is brought up and make an effort to demonstrate that fact. However, eventually after a period of time they generally return to their old ways without thinking about it and the anchor gets back in use.

Does it have to be nearby?

It’s always been hard to say about this. Nearby as in accessible within seconds certainly seems to be a case of being a no, at least most of the time. But the other side of the coin is that situations like being away on a trip for a week seems that the item is an essential one that they feel must be packed above all other regards.

The middle-ground in my experience is less clear cut. I’ve felt that anchors do often seem to be left behind in some circumstances, for example visiting a friend who’s not littlespace aware for a day. Then again, visiting a friend who is littlespace aware changes that back most often to an essential item for packing to take.

So it seems that social conventions play a part in this interesting aspect of littlespace. For situations where it’s socially acceptable to have the item then it will feature, if it’s not socially acceptable or might risk some real or perceived ridicule then it will stay behind.

Can a little have more than one anchor?

In my experience there seems to generally be one main one, I won’t say that there can’t be more than one all the time. What I have experienced is that a little can possibly have several different ones that change based on moods or other factors such as a blanket one day and the next when feeling in a strong headspace mood it change to be their teddy bear.

My observations however are, that it always seems to be just the one item that grabs the attention of the little and that they latch to at any one time. Other items can seem to be like an anchor but often unlike the anchor are more fluid in their necessity to be available to a little.

“But I don’t have any anchor”

Maybe not, but then all of what I’ve posted comes about in discussion of my exposure to a very small minority of the AB/DL/CG/Littlespace community, the ones who find headspace to not be a sexual arena in any real way. It could also be that you do have an anchor but haven’t experienced yourself feeling comfortable enough around others for it to show up. I’ve known several littles who don’t seem to show this trait to start with, but, over time the trend started to develop as they become comfortable in being who they really are.

People might say this is not scientific at all, and I never suggested it was, it’s just theory. In my favour, I’ve at least started the conversation on the topic and if you want to go out and research it, then you’re more than welcome to look in to it.

Edit: Forgot the important bit that goes in with the nappy bag as he can’t be trusted to last when we’re out.

daycaredaddyedm

Fun Activities - sure to please that special little in your life

Help your little tie his or her shoes

Wash his or her hair in the bathtub

Pet your little’s head

Pick out his or her clothes

Pull him or her into your lap

Get his or her pacifier if you notice him or her chewing their lips, fingers, or acting nervous

Cuddle him or her

Make your little giggle (tickles, jokes, etc)

Use little dishes for a meal you’ve prepared

Bring him or her a drink in a sippy cup or bottle

Stick a crazy straw in their drink

Hold their hand in public (especially when crossing the street)

Order for them at a restaurant

Drive them places (and pick them up)

Go to your little’s doctor’s appointments with them

Help him or her make tough choices (be their guide)

Let him or her fall asleep on your lap or chest

Ask them to help you with little tasks and things

Ask if they help with little tasks

Tell him or her when they are a good girl or boy

Tell him or her when they make you proud

Take care of them when they are sick or feeling under the weather

Remind your little to take their medicine (and praise them for taking care of their health)

Suggest naptime, especially if your little seems crabby or excessively irritated

Read to him or her (naps, bedtime, any time)

Ask your little about their favorite things (and tell them about yours) (animals, colors, shapes, stuffed animals, etc)

Whisper secrets to him or her

Go through their coloring pages, artwork, drawings, or crafts and tell them which ones are your favorites

Teach him or her new things

Remind your little about their plushies’ names

Ask your little about their plushies and toys

Tuck them in at night (including a kiss on the forehead)

Remind them of their bedtime

Remind them to brush their teeth before getting into bed

Ask if your little remembered to do things (chores, errands, other tasks)

Kiss the top of your little’s head or forehead frequently

Color with your little

Check for mean-monsters (under the bed, in the closet, in the dark room they need to go to or through)

Listen to their excited babbles and chatter (get excited with them)

Play pretend with your little

Take your little to a park

Push him or her on the swings

Let your little pick the movie on movie night

Tell your little that they are cute/adorable

Kiss all of their owies, ouches, and boo-boos

Use awesome band-aids (colorful, cartoon characters)

Surprise your little

Get your little ‘little’ gifts

Set up a bubble bath

Let him or her draw a tiny heart on you

Check on your little’s planner, chore list, or errand tasks

Make music with your little

Pick out their jammies, PJs, or sleep clothes

Cook with your little (and, sometimes, for your little)

Take your little to the zoo

Take your little to the library (and help them pick a little book)

Plan and go on a picnic

Take a walk with your little (and hold their hand)

Take your little stargazing

Visit a museum with him or her

Paint your little’s toenails (or let them be silly and paint yours)

Make sure he or she has something to cuddle (on the couch, in bed)

Invite him or her to a special tea party (with their favorite stuffed friends)

Ask about your little’s imaginary friends

Plan a themed date night

Plan a great adventure with them (even if it’s silly and make believe)

Play board games with him or her

Play video games with him or her (or watch them play them)

Do arts and crafts with him or her

Give your little candy/sweets (but not too many)

Make your little hot cocoa with marshmallows

Help build blanket forts

Rub your nose gently against theirs to give special Eskimo kisses

Show them a place they’ve never seen before

Whisper “shhh” in your little’s ear when they’re upset

Wipe away their tears (always)

Take your little to see a children’s movie in the theater (let them have a child’s size popcorn too)

Sing with them when they break out into song

Call your little pet names such as: princess, prince, little one, doll, baby girl, baby boy, etc.

Appreciate little gifts they make and give you

Make a funny face at them in public

Scoop your little one up into your arms or lap

Watch cartoons with them

Make your little a healthy snack

Make a meal of special little foods

Give your little an allowance

Have your little complete chores (and check on their progress through the day or week)

Remind your little to wash their hands before they eat

Get things from places they can’t reach

Rub his or her tummy when it hurts

Start a pillow fight

Shoot them with a water gun or nerf gun

Quote from their favorite little books and movies

Ask silly questions

Try to win them a prize at the carnival, faire, amusement park, or any crane machine

Take him or her somewhere where they need to dress up to go to

Ruffle their hair

Boop and bop their nose if their emotions are getting too intense

Let them wear your t-shirt/hoodie/clothes

Write a note and leave it somewhere for them to find as a surprise

Congratulate him or her for doing something they felt was difficult

Start their sleepy music at night to help them relax

Take your little to an amusement park, a carnival, or a faire

Take selfies and photobooth pictures with your little

Make pinky promises with your little

diaperjosh

Help your little tie his or her shoes - Done

Wash his or her hair in the bathtub - Done

Pet your little’s head - Done

Pick out his or her clothes - Done lots

Pull him or her into your lap - Done is there another way to have a little?

Get his or her pacifier if you notice him or her chewing their lips, fingers, or acting nervous - Done

Cuddle him or her - Hard to not get this as I don’t get a choice about being cuddled

Make your little giggle (tickles, jokes, etc) - Done 32 carriage train

Use little dishes for a meal you’ve prepared - Done ish :D

Bring him or her a drink in a sippy cup or bottle - Done made him pick his sippy cup out and bottle feeds are amazing

Stick a crazy straw in their drink - adds to the list

Hold their hand in public (especially when crossing the street) - If only society was a bit more accepting, but held his hand in the forest when we went for a nature walk

Order for them at a restaurant - Some day

Drive them places (and pick them up) - Done many times, littles can’t drive :D

Go to your little’s doctor’s appointments with them - Not something I’d want to do but I will sure as heck drop him off if he needs it.

Help him or her make tough choices (be their guide) - That’s what Daddy does surely

Let him or her fall asleep on your lap or chest - Done and one of the cutest things ever

Ask them to help you with little tasks and things - Done, littles should have plenty of these in my book

Ask if they help with little tasks - Eh?

Tell him or her when they are a good girl or boy - All the time

Tell him or her when they make you proud - Constant praise

Take care of them when they are sick or feeling under the weather - We have a system in place for that now

Remind your little to take their medicine (and praise them for taking care of their health) - Not relevant the first bit but the second bit is soooooo DONE!

Suggest naptime, especially if your little seems crabby or excessively irritated - He never listens, I never stop nagging.

Read to him or her (naps, bedtime, any time) - Discussed that tonight :D

Ask your little about their favorite things (and tell them about yours) (animals, colors, shapes, stuffed animals, etc) - may be worth a try

Whisper secrets to him or her - What secrets, there are no secrets, just things littles don’t get to know as they aren’t big enough

Go through their coloring pages, artwork, drawings, or crafts and tell them which ones are your favorites - :( Need this in my life

Teach him or her new things - Not sure that’s very do-able.

Remind your little about their plushies’ names - Chiron and Erin always love you Benjamin

Ask your little about their plushies and toys - Don’t need to Chiron keeps me informed

Tuck them in at night (including a kiss on the forehead) - some Day

Remind them of their bedtime - If Ben will stick to a bed time I will :D

Remind them to brush their teeth before getting into bed - Pictures or it didn’t happen little boy :P

Ask if your little remembered to do things (chores, errands, other tasks) - Well it wouldn’t be fun if Daddy had to remember EVERYTHING!

Kiss the top of your little’s head or forehead frequently - Is there another way?

Color with your little - In planning

Check for mean-monsters (under the bed, in the closet, in the dark room they need to go to or through) - When I send you to bed I bet this will be required

Listen to their excited babbles and chatter (get excited with them) - “Take the dummy out and say that to daddy so I can understand silly”.

Play pretend with your little - Hmmmm

Take your little to a park - DONE!

Push him or her on the swings - We need to try this some day

Let your little pick the movie on movie night - Lets not go there

Tell your little that they are cute/adorable - He always is

Kiss all of their owies, ouches, and boo-boos - We’ve not had any yet somehow!

Use awesome band-aids (colorful, cartoon characters) - see 45

Surprise your little - :D best way forward

Get your little ‘little’ gifts - And watch him lose it in the most adorable way

Set up a bubble bath - How does anyone bath without bubbles

Let him or her draw a tiny heart on you - Sounds so cute

Check on your little’s planner, chore list, or errand tasks - Always doing this.

Make music with your little - Not likely, I’m tone deaf

Pick out their jammies, PJs, or sleep clothes - Just buy him a cute kigu

Cook with your little (and, sometimes, for your little) - Summer time

Take your little to the zoo - Well it is kinda half way between us.

Take your little to the library (and help them pick a little book) - That could be fun

Plan and go on a picnic - padded picnic sounds great

Take a walk with your little (and hold their hand) - is this not #12 again

Take your little stargazing - I love the stars

Visit a museum with him or her - Nothing worth going to nearby that I know of

Paint your little’s toenails (or let them be silly and paint yours) - Bit too girly for a Daddy and his little boy

Make sure he or she has something to cuddle (on the couch, in bed) - I know when you need Chiron little man

Invite him or her to a special tea party (with their favorite stuffed friends) - A bit girly too for us

Ask about your little’s imaginary friends - Not aware of any………..yet

Plan a themed date night - Meh

Plan a great adventure with them (even if it’s silly and make believe) - We’ve had many

Play board games with him or her - I’d rather do the next one

Play video games with him or her (or watch them play them) - I’ve wasted 4 days of January on those so far.

Do arts and crafts with him or her - FINGER PAINTING

Give your little candy/sweets (but not too many) - Silly little boy doesn’t really crave sweets in LS

Make your little hot cocoa with marshmallows - Totally need a bed time routine set up

Help build blanket forts - some day

Rub your nose gently against theirs to give special Eskimo kisses - LittleAlteran needs lots of affection

Show them a place they’ve never seen before - Done this many times

Whisper “shhh” in your little’s ear when they’re upset - How else do you calm a little boy in a bad place.

Wipe away their tears (always) - Never seen any tears outside the first day together. Certainly never would have risked it then, but if you ever need me to little boy I will.

Take your little to see a children’s movie in the theater (let them have a child’s size popcorn too) - I think I’d rather snuggle on my sofa with a film on and the popcorn be home made

Sing with them when they break out into song - I’d rather just sit listening to it as it’s so cute to see

Call your little pet names such as: princess, prince, little one, doll, baby girl, baby boy, etc. - Smelly butt! :D

Appreciate little gifts they make and give you - Wearing it now!

Make a funny face at them in public - My face is always funny

Scoop your little one up into your arms or lap - Impromptu cuddles are mandatory for littles

Watch cartoons with them - What we watching next together little man

Make your little a healthy snack - Buying lunch count?

Make a meal of special little foods - Some day we will

Give your little an allowance - But he feels uncomfortable with the idea

Have your little complete chores (and check on their progress through the day or week) - I’m sure this was already said above

Remind your little to wash their hands before they eat - wet wipes and Daddies job

Get things from places they can’t reach - Why I love that he’s smaller than me as I kinda have to anyway

Rub his or her tummy when it hurts - and watch him squirm with tickliness

Start a pillow fight - Maybe when he moves in

Shoot them with a water gun or nerf gun = OOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo I have a Nerf gun

Quote from their favorite little books and movies - Not really me

Ask silly questions - I don’t come with not silly questions

Try to win them a prize at the carnival, faire, amusement park, or any crane machine - That would be fun

Take him or her somewhere where they need to dress up to go to - Any suggestions little man

Ruffle their hair - Surely this goes with #3

Boop and bop their nose if their emotions are getting too intense - I see a status one

Let them wear your t-shirt/hoodie/clothes - I can do one better in that he had to wear daddies underwear.

Write a note and leave it somewhere for them to find as a surprise - surprises are great

Congratulate him or her for doing something they felt was difficult - I’m proud so much of his grades

Start their sleepy music at night to help them relax - We will have a bed time routine some day

Take your little to an amusement park, a carnival, or a faire - As above.

Take selfies and photobooth pictures with your little - We have plenty

Make pinky promises with your little - the most firm kind of promises.

babysplayfort-deactivated201809

Daddy: you have all my attention right at this moment;

Baby: *licks daddy*

Daddy: and that’s what you choose to do with it.

alittleanddaddy

Yes, yes it is you little tyke. :

An update

Obviously our blogging has gone a bit silent, what with a summer filled with more littlespace encounters than I could even have dreamed of. The various ups and downs of looking after my little boy and the complications of working (littles have it cushy).

So it’s all been amazing and too many things to discuss. A quick run down of some bits that have happened are that I’ve had my wonderful little boy fall asleep on top of me because he’s been exhausted, we’ve braved the real world with him in littlespace and padding, messy accidents are not nearly as scary as before and 100′s of other little things that make me super proud of all he has achieved in such a short time. Albeit potty training has eluded him.

Why I decided to post this is a few short weeks after a mid term visit back home. During that visit there was plenty of the usual little activities and things we do to enjoy each others company. However, one of the first things I decided to do was provide a little treat to my baby boy. This treat came in the form of a small furry friend, a cute, soft, fluffy and importantly cuddly cuddly toy.

The reaction I got was vastly more than I had expected to get. I got to pretty much watch a teenager turn into a toddler in seconds, his eyes, responses and everything moved from big to little in an instant. Watching him cuddle up for the first time make my heart melt.

His name took a few days to arrive, because as always Ben gives a lot of consideration to decisions that he considers to be important ones. I can’t agree more that the naming of a new teddy being an important decision for life.

Eventually after a few days of discussion, toing and froing a decision was made.

So I’m pleased to introduce Erin.

It has been especially nice to experience the decision making process with him and to have our dynamic further reinforced. Unfortunately, the Blog name may need to change to A Little, Daddy, Chiron and Erin...