AlittleMehere.

https://theblogsstory.wordpress.com

[muntazir]

من اميدوار هستم كه خوشي يافته باشيد، جدا از من و فقت براي خود

I sincerely hope that you’ve found happiness, separate from me and solely for yourself.

[alittlemehere-blog]

Sometimes people would ask me what kind of a person i would like to have in my life.

And i would say, "I don't think characters or something like that can have a great influence over me. It needs to be more than that. I've lost so much in my first love that I fear falling in love again. So, maybe if someone would come and bring me my life back as it was, make me forget all those terrible nights and the thoughts i had. Then, yes, maybe I can think about falling in love again."

[alittlemehere-blog]

I don't actually like the situation we're in. It's more me and a lot less you. Or, perhaps its just the idea of you.

I'm being reasonable this time, for my own sake. I don't want to rush it . Or maybe I'm already ashore, but too afraid to admit it. I know it's not mechanical, where i can make pointers and make out conclusions. But this is all i have, and this is all you've given me.

So yeah, I'm here trying to understand everything more deeply than it actually is. And I'm trying to convince myself that you're a big walking heartbreak, I shouldn't be approaching towards.

You know, let's make it simple, let's make it clear. I know I’m a coward and I’d rather be comfortable in being so. So, I’ll just sit here and try to recalibrate. Perhaps, we’re not meant to happen? Perhaps, we’re both not ready? Perhaps, we’re just meant to look at each other until we’re ready to hold on to something more permanent?

-//some things that are better left unsaid.

[alittlemehere-blog]

I imagine myself happy, standing in the balcony, holding a cup of coffee. I imagine you hugging me from behind, a hug with gentle arms giving a little space to breathe. I imagine us all smiling, looking at each other, my cheeks lifted, your eyes small with skin folded near them. I imagine you pulling me close, rubbing your arms against my waist, and me, silly me, fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against mine, like its for the very first time.

//Some things that are better left unsaid.

[alittlemehere-blog]

We all have been there. Don’t we?

Addicted to something that leaves us for no good.

And maybe we are all guilt ridden of some chapters we don’t read out loud. 

When everything hurts, every damn thing.

When we were nervous to walk out, afraid to suffer,

And reluctant to meet new people.

When we try to pull with one hand, 

but are forced to push with the other. 

We all have been there, don’t we? 

When we were unable to turn your emotions down,

and anxiety ruled over us,

so we decided to disguise our love.

When we were too tired of chasing things,

and getting knocked down every time, so we decided to walk away.

We all have been there, don’t we?

[alittlemehere-blog]

THE PHOTOSHOOT.

Life has always been like a photo shoot. I see people doing every ounce of their effort to get a good click. I see people in their best clothes, with their best smile working hard for a good picture. Their sets are perfect in location, with decorations and cleanliness.

I see people intertwine their arms, run their fingers untangling their dark locks, fake a smile not too hard as to keep the cheek lines from being visible. I see people resting their head against the wall with a face of utter nonchalance, as if  they are merely waiting to get trapped behind those lenses.  I see people changing faces from apathetic to almost smiling – smiling as if something good was about to happen. I see people wearing branded clothes from that designer store all the girls talked about. And all these endeavours done just for one perfect click.

As I travel the pages of catalogue, connecting pictures one after the other making the tale worth telling. The highs and lows keeping me enthralled, and the realisation came soon after, that most of the beautiful shots are found in rich details of the moments of candids. As the people choose to move unlike the static one’s, with facial expressions giving a hint of the victory in their smile surrounded by stiff cheeks.

There’s something about candids that makes your heart race too fast. In between the perfect shots, I see the  flawed candids, with people smiling so hard that their mouth would ache. Candids come with a  realisation that most of life’s joy are found in quiet passages, and unplanned moments.

I see people running after their dog without choosing their appearance and a perfect moment getting confined behind the camera. I see people with messy hair and bags under their eyes, flinching as the cameras move around, without them turning towards the mild attention. I see people move their hands choreographed by the wind, in perfect time with one another and an imperfectly perfect pictured being clicked with blurred fingers and smiles.  I see people making out the best without their slightest efforts.

[alittlemehere-blog]

December is here, and so are holidays.

Holidays not always bring a package of joy and cheerfulness. For some people they bring pain, carrying with them a cascade of loneliness and hurtful memories to live on.

Holidays not always come up with travel plans; long trips with friends. For some people they bring emptiness, not everyone have photos and travel diaries to plaster their news feed.

Not every holiday comes up with celebrations. Sometimes they come with idea of nowhere to go to celebrate but sit at home with grief hanging onto the Christmas trees. Sometimes it means having no one to buy presents for, a reminder of broken heart and the people who left.

Not every holiday comes up with family gatherings, picnics filled up with laughter and hope. For some people they come up with winter nights, coldness and stillness. Not everyone is blessed with the blessing of feeling things around them. And for some people holidays bring lone nights, with sorrow spilled in the coffee mug.

To some people December not always come up with warmth and the beauty of new beginnings. To some people it signals the coming hurt is on its way.

[alittlemehere-blog]

Your heartbreak will never murder you.

It will slowly overpower you,

making you vulnerable and unguarded,

making your eyes drop to bed sheet,

Making you feel a pain more than a human body could bear.

It will consume you till your last being.

Sometimes it will hit you like a bullet,

piercing your heart right through.

But no, it will never murder you.

And one day you'll find yourself,

Lying on the floor gasping for air.

You will feel like you're dying,

But the truth is you're not.

No one has ever died of a heartbreak.

[alittlemehere-blog]

Before a few months I had a depression episode, and maybe its all gone now but still there are some parts of it that deeply reflects into my life.

From the very beginning I knew all of this will come with both happiness and sadness. But what surprised me was sadness outweighing happiness. When you were here, there used to be a balance. If i was sad, I knew your one message would take it all away.

But now as you're gone, there's no fog of happiness, hiding the pain. It's all clear. And If not you, your memories still visits me time to time. They come with pain, a pain that hurts yet makes me smile, a pain that reminds me that you're a part of my life and will always continue to be somehow, no matter what the circumstance is.

Your flashbacks leaves me in tears but what still balances is they are the only way I watch us grow. Even if it's an illusion, I see us together.

[oxymoronicsoul]

It feels as if he purposely broke me into a million little pieces. Just so his love could be the thread piercing through every one of those little pieces and stitching them back up to make a whole new me.

Whole is always equal to the sum of fragments.But somehow, I don’t feel the same. It’s as if I’m a mangled version of myself. Not broken; just bent out of shape.I can’t recognise myself.

My thoughts, my words, even my breath; carry his name.But… but I don’t want this. I want to belong to myself again. All I ask you :

Is love supposed to feel this way- like there’s no me in me but only him?

- t o x i c l o v e.

[oxymoronicsoul]

The past year has been a year of many firsts for me.

I remember the first time I stopped crying. 

The first time I slept through the entire night.

The first time I smiled though- I admit- it was fake.

What I don’t remember is when that fake smile somehow turned real. 

I still remember the shock I felt when I laughed at a joke that wasn’t yours.

But as the laughter bubbled out of me, the pain in my heart eased for the first time.

That day the thoughts of you didn’t choke me up.

I remember the first time I thought of you in past tense.

The prospect of a future without you hit me in the chest and cloaked me in a midnight gloom.

But now I can sense the approaching dawn on the horizon.

And that makes me think-

I can do this. I can live this life alone.

- And I’ve been ever since.

[alittlemehere-blog]

People may come and go,

But there's one thing that will stay,

Forever and always,

Memories.

As new people come along,

Acquaintance became friends.

To make new memories,

Of happiness,

Of sadness,

There's always room for more,

Memories are always cherish,

While others walk out the door.

Prompt: sweet memories // @bizarre-poetry

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[alittlemehere-blog]

"But what if they keep on returning"

"turn yourself to food"

[alittlemehere-blog]

Even if you're not here,

Even if we're not in contact,

Even if its been a long time that i saw you, 

Even on the days i'm angryand bitter,

Even when nothing is fine and life's a mess.

Even if my hopes are gone and my faith's fading away, slowly and slowly.

I'll still choose to be in love with you.

I'll breath deeply and slowly,

Praying for you,

Willing all my love to follow you where ever you go.

[alittlemehere-blog]

We all have been there. Don't we?

Addicted to something that leaves us for no good.

And maybe we are all guilt ridden of some chapters we don't read out loud. 

When everything hurts, every damn thing.

 When we were nervous to walk out, afraid to suffer,

And reluctant to meet new people.

When we try to pull with one hand, 

but are forced to push with the other. 

We all have been there, don't we? 

When we were unable to turn your emotions down,

and anxiety ruled over us,

so we decided to disguise our love.

When we were too tired of chasing things,

and getting knocked down every time, so we decided to walk away.

We all have been there, don't we?

[alittlemehere-blog]

With a healthy diet, lead a healthy life.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[alittlemehere-blog]

Ever in my life.