I am the elusive and mysterious @all-keikaku-aizen sensei.
If you are reading this, congratulations, you have successfully breached containment into the main sector of my brain, which is currently 90% rotting from media consumption and 10% running on pure spite.
As your local supreme commander of internet manifestations, here is a quick debrief of what goes down in this digital domain:
Anime & Manga Core: We talk extensively about Attack on Titan (where my vendetta against Bertholdt Hoover is well-documented and violently active) and Bleach(sometimes naruto too).
Character Analysis & Hot Takes: I am here to dissect fictional characters under a microscopic lens and ruin your favorite fictional blorbos with zero remorse.
Wack Theories: Yes, I used to be a mad scientist cooking up unhinged lore, but I am unfortunately retired because the community simply couldn't handle my vision.
Manga Cover Dealing: If you need a hookup, call me out if you want one, but business is strictly cash, vibes, and whatever obscure panels I have saved.
The Official Alignment Chart: I HATE Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad with every fiber of my being. Deal with it.
I LOVE Eren Yeager because my moral compass is heavily magnetized to toxic narrative choices and cinematic disasters. We support men's wrongs in this household.
To all my followers, thanks to the generous donation of @moxxyandthekat I have evolved to a new state of being, I now declare my new profile name @All_Keikaku_Aizen
I apologise for the interruption, but I have an URGENT announcement to make.
Today I gather you here today my oh so gracious followers to ask you if this one simple question.
Should I change my profile picture? My current PFP just isn't satisfying my inner soul right now, the IchiGOJO is just dying out, maybe I should change my header too? I was genuinely thinking "maybe I should swap it to something equally unhinged to honor my brand, like a blurry screenshot of a shonen character crying, another poorly made manga panel meme or a deeply compressed JPEG of a potato" but honestly, I need a council of elders (you guys) to weigh in before I make a life-altering mistake.
Drop your verdict in the comments or reblog with your best cursed suggestions. The fate of the empire rests in your hands, giglets ✌️
I apologise for the interruption, but I have an URGENT announcement to make.
Today I gather you here today my oh so gracious followers to ask you if this one simple question.
Should I change my profile picture? My current PFP just isn't satisfying my inner soul right now, the IchiGOJO is just dying out, maybe I should change my header too? I was genuinely thinking "maybe I should swap it to something equally unhinged to honor my brand, like a blurry screenshot of a shonen character crying, another poorly made manga panel meme or a deeply compressed JPEG of a potato" but honestly, I need a council of elders (you guys) to weigh in before I make a life-altering mistake.
Drop your verdict in the comments or reblog with your best cursed suggestions. The fate of the empire rests in your hands, giglets ✌️
even bro’s titan form is handsome like wtf. that’s not fair at all, he’s supposed to be terrifying and somehow still looks better than half the cast. like, how am i supposed to fear a monster when he still looks hot af and like he was sculpted by a god
I Dont know.......if a 15 meter tall man with armour all over him came running towards me at top speed in a military ambush, his looks are the last thing im going to be thinking of.
THE ESPADA: THE MOST SORRIEST ANIME VILLAIN GROUP IN ALL OF ANIME HISTORY
Tite Kubo gave us peak character designs, banger theme songs in the character books, Spanish guitar leitmotifs, and the highest concentration of audacity in anime history—only for Lord Aizen to assemble the most incompetent squad of dramatic theater kids Hueco Mundo has ever seen.
Here is the official Espada L Counter & Fraud Watch Breakdown:
#9: Aaroniero Arruruerie
The Hype: Stole Kaien Shiba’s memories and face, literally ate 33,000 hollows to get to number 9, has two talking brains in a jar.
The Reality: Fought Rukia Kuchiki (who was suffering from severe emotional trauma and a chest wound) and STILL managed to get stabbed in the head because he couldn't stop monologuing. Bro ate 33,000 hollows just to lose to a 3rd seat with a fancy snowflake sword.
L Count: 1 (Fatal)
Fraud Rating: 8/10
#8: Szayelaporro Granz
The Hype: The "intellectual genius" of Hueco Mundo, possessed a voodoo doll that could crush internal organs, swallowed his own fracción to heal.
The Reality: Ran into Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the ONE guy in the universe who is a bigger freak than him. Got hit with a drug that made 1 second feel like 100 years, spent three centuries watching a sword slowly pierce his heart, and died crying. A theatrical mess.
L Count: 1 (Cosmic-tier disrespect)
Fraud Rating: 7/10
#7: Zommari Rureaux
The Hype: The "Fastest Espada," claims he can control your limbs with his weird eyeballs (Amor), preaches about Shinigami arrogance.
The Reality: Had the misfortune of targeting Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya literally severed his own tendons to bypass Zommari's power, called him a nuisance, dropped thousands of flower blades on him, and Zommari spent his final seconds screaming "BANZAI LORD AIZEN!" while Aizen didn't even know his first name.
L Count: 1 (Instant deletion)
Fraud Rating: 9/10
#6: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez
The Hype: Absolute fan favorite, menacing roar, peak rival energy, blue hair, absolute menace.
The Reality: Fought Ichigo 3 times. Lost his arm to Tosen. Got demoted. Got beat up by Shinji in a school uniform. Finally lost his big 1v1 with Ichigo, and IMMEDIATELY got sliced open by Nnoitra from behind while lying in the dirt like a carpet.
L Count: 4
Fraud Rating: 3/10 (He gets a pass because he has drip, but brother took hits).
#5: Nnoitra Gilga
The Hype: 6 arms, giant crescent scythes, highest defense (Hierro) among the Espada, pure incel rage energy.
The Reality: Sucker-punched a exhausted Grimmjow, bullied Nel when she was a toddler, got terrified when Nel turned back into an adult, and then got matched with Kenpachi Zaraki. Zaraki literally switched to two hands on his sword and split him like firewood.
L Count: 2 (Plus 1 point deducted for being a hater)
Fraud Rating: 8.5/10
#4: Ulquiorra Cifer
The Hype: Coldest demeanor, Segunda Etapa (a form Aizen didn't even know about), literally put a hole straight through Ichigo's chest.
The Reality: Was winning the fight of his life until White/Vasto Lorde Ichigo woke up. Got grabbed by the face like a misbehaving cat, took a Cero to the face point-blank, lost an arm and a leg, and disintegrated asking what a "heart" is. Visually iconic, but he got turned into chalk dust.
L Count: 1 (Horrifyingly brutal)
Fraud Rating: 1/10 (He actually did his job, just fought a deity).
#3: Tier Harribel
The Hype: Queen of Hueco Mundo, water manipulation, massive sword, cool shark motif.
The Reality: Was fighting Hitsugaya (a child captain) and couldn't even put him down. Aizen looked at her mid-fight, said "Honestly this is taking too long and you're boring me," and STABBED HER HIMSELF. She didn't even get defeated by an enemy; her own boss fired her with a blade!
L Count: 2 (Fired by boss mid-shift)
Fraud Rating: 9.5/10
#2: Baraggan Louisenbairn
The Hype: THE KING OF HUECO MUNDO. Controls aging and decay (Respira). Literally rots anything that touches him.
The Reality: Got outsmarted by Hachigen (a Visored who used basic spatial geometry). Hachi cut off his own decaying hand, teleporters it inside Baraggan's stomach, and Baraggan rotted to death from the inside out using HIS OWN POWER. Died throwing a axe at Aizen while missing by 50 feet.
L Count: 1 (Self-inflicted)
Fraud Rating: 6/10
#1: Coyote Starrk
The Hype: ESPADA NUMBER ONE. So strong his spiritual pressure naturally killed hollows standing near him. Gunslinger. Metaphor for loneliness.
The Reality: Fought four captains, was visibly depressed the entire time, lost his wolf-guns, and just wanted to take a nap. Shunsui Kyoraku stabbed him in the back while wearing a pink kimono using a Shikai game (Kageoni). Didn't even force a Bankai out of anyone.
L Count: 1 (Tragic)
Fraud Rating: 5/10 (Not a fraud, just needed therapy).
#0: Yammy Llargo
The Hype: "SURPRISE! The numbers actually go 0-9! I am the STRONGEST ESPADA when I get angry! I get bigger!"
The Reality: THE BIGGEST FRAUD IN ANIME HISTORY. Got off-screened by Kenpachi and Byakuya while they were actively arguing with each other about something else. They were barely paying attention to him! He died next to his small dog.
L Count: ∞
Fraud Rating: 100/10 (Hall of Fame Fraud)
FINAL VERDICT:
Aizen assembled 10 top-tier hollows, gave them customized castles, gave them drip, and they killed ZERO named Shinigami Captains or Lieutenants. Not one.
Never watched Hannibal, but I've seen Mikkelsen with a beard and hes a good actor, has great charisma in his role of Gellert Grindewald in Fantastic beasts and best of all, hes Danish.
Imo I think he would do great at the role, another contender would be Ethan Hawke, he was great in The northman.
lmao thats not a screenshot from Hannibal, although he DOES butcher a man in that movie too, so i guess he’s played a cannibal(ish) twice. Which is a lot for one man.
Never watched Hannibal, but I've seen Mikkelsen with a beard and hes a good actor, has great charisma in his role of Gellert Grindewald in Fantastic beasts and best of all, hes Danish.
Imo I think he would do great at the role, another contender would be Ethan Hawke, he was great in The northman.
