R E C K L E S S

I'm bigger than my body My name is Malcolm Pitt, don't call me Mal- It's Malcolm. I won't be here long. I'm colder than this home I was diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Impulse Control Disorder. I'm meaner than my demons I don't need anybody getting in my way. Leave me alone and we won't have any problems. I'm bigger than these bones.

[allaboutmalcolm]

P R O M

Their jaw dropped as they stared back at Malcolm, who stared back with bright eyes and a confused expression. “No...” the brunet hesitated as he ran his fingers through his long hair. A brief thought crossed his mind as he thought maybe he should cut it. This did seem like a special occasion. “I haven’t asked Payton to Prom. Should I?” His friend just stared back in amazement at how dense this lanky 18 year old boy was. There was an awkward silence that filled the air as the two stared at one another, before Malcolm broke the silence. “I--fuck I mean Payton and I are already dating, I thought--I assumed that meant we were going together? I didn’t know I had to ask my own fucking girlfriend to Prom?” High school was a weird challenge. Even though he had been back “in the real world” for about two years now, with minimal ‘difficulties’, he still found it hard to acclimate back to life. At least Payton was with him, and he did hear from Bethany and Jackie every once in awhile. He had even spoken to Harley, but that was a whole different story. Harley was such a pussy and never actually forgave Malcolm for punching him and or wanting to leave him in the woods to die. Perhaps it was understandable, but somewhere in Malcolm’s fucked up mind he still rationalized it as okay, not that he would ever admit that to a therapist though, they would chuck him right back to Serenity, or Brielle or some shit. 

“Okay but, listen--Malcolm, BUDDY. Yeah she’s your girlfriend and that’s exactly why you gotta ask her. It’s like, it’s really important to girls. Just trust me man. Go do it before school is done today.” his friend let out a long airy sigh before gently patting Malcolm on the shoulder and closing his locker taking off down the hall. Malcolm paused for a second in the hall looking into his locker before shutting it.

As the 3 o’clock bells chimed throughout the halls, there were audible groans as students were finally able to get up and stretch as the teacher started speaking faster and faster, trying to fit in their last notes of lecture while students quickly packed their papers and pencils up. The only exception was Malcolm who had been packed up for maybe 20 minutes as he raced away from the class, ignoring whatever the teacher yelled after him. He threw his books into his locker as he quickly ran his fingers through hair long tangled hair and looked into the small mirror that hung in his locker. Payton always made jokes that Malcolm had a mirror because he was a narcissist. It wasn’t like she was wrong either. His hair was a mess as per usual. It didn’t help that there was gym earlier today either so his hair was extra Malcolm-like. He tried to pat down the spots that flipped and curled up in the wrong places. Straightening his shirt he looked in the mirror once more attempting to make himself a little more presentable. 

Once he was more or less satisfied he grabbed his backpack and slung it over his shoulder and taking his keys out of his jacket pocket making his way to the next hall over where Payton’s locker was. As he rounded the corner he couldn’t help but pause and smile, just for a moment. Both of them had been out of Serenity for awhile, and after a series of events, here they were in the same school. She was laughing and giggling with one of her friends, her nose crinkling as she laughed and swept some of her blonde locks behind her ear. He continued walking towards her, hands stuffed in his pockets with his long hair slightly falling into his eyes. 

“Hey Pay,” he tried to force himself to smile down at the shorter girl and did a small nod, “Hey Bee.” the boy cleared his throat, trying to flick some hair out of his face. “You ready to head home Payton?” Malcolm picked Payton up and dropped her off, usually they ended up at her house or his just hanging out, or talk, or just sitting there lost in their own thought. As Payton grabbed her stuff and they waved by to Bee for the day, Malcolm turned back to Payton. “I’m serious, that Bee girl is super weird, I don’t know why you hang around her. She told me once that I shouldn’t sit at my desk because whenever I sit in it I hurt it.” It was hypocritical of him to think people were weird, and he knew the two may get along so well because of osteogenesis imperfectia, or maybe they were just both weird. 

The two of them climbed into his car and before he turned the key in the ignition he turned and looked at the blonde. “So, funny story. I was talking with Christopher today and he said I had to ask you to Prom. I mean, I’m dating you for fucks sake.” Malcolm shook his head still laughing to himself, not understanding the importance that was Prom. “So, you wanna go to Prom with me?”

@bluehcney

[princesspaytonlutz-blog]

school sucked. payton had missed all of highschool and had now been thrown into her junior year with absolutely no idea where to go, what to do, or who to talk to. payton’s friends had all gone off and formed their own social circles, many of them had stopped talking to her a few months after her admittance to serenity. they had all gotten too busy, forgot or had just stopped caring. payton had tried to parade the halls with her chin high, acting as if she didn’t have a medical condition or a “i-was-in-a-hospital-for-two-years” sign on her back. to her dismay, transitioning back into school and cheerleading wasn’t as easy as she had hoped. in fact, payton was more depressed than ever. she missed serenity and her friends, the staff- even dr. holmes.

and malcolm, god did she miss malcolm. the pair had kept in constant contact: texting, skyping, facetiming, even writing letters. it wasn’t the same as having him by her side 24/7 or being able to find him in the next corridor over…but it was better than nothing. 

the blonde was currently curled up on her couch, wearing sweatpants that were a size too big for her little legs, and that one stupid black sweatshirt malcolm was always pissed about her taking ( he CLAIMED it was his favorite, but payton was well aware he had eight of the same one ). her messy, unbrushed blonde locks were knotted in a large bun atop her head, reading glasses perched on the tip of her nose, and fuzzy socks engulfing tiny feet as she tried to warm up. payton forgot how much she hated the frigid pennsylvania weather, and no matter how many layers of throw blankets she swaddled herself with, she just couldn’t seem to warm up. cupping a piping mug of some weird fancy tea in a porcelain hand, payton looked away from the TV that was currently playing a run of the walking dead ( her guilty pleasure show. payton was never big on these kinds of shows, but she was certain her liking of it partially had to do with the fact one of the main characters looked EXACTLY like malcolm. it was kind of terrifying how identical they were ) and noticed a car she had never seen before pull into her driveway. a soft flurry had caused the ground to be carried in a thin layer of cotton, and she couldn’t quite make out who climbed out of the car due to the snow fluttering past and sticking the window. she waited a moment; perhaps it was a friend of her parents? the girl heard a knock on the door and looked over her shoulder; “mom! someones at the door!” 

the woman didn’t show her face, calling out to payton from the kitchen; “i’m making dinner, hun! would you mind getting it and seeing who it is?”

payton frowned, disappointed she’d have to break her cacoon of warm blankets and open the door to the crisp wind and bitter, low-temperature outside. she set down her tea and let out a small huff as she rose from the sofa to move over towards the front door. she unlocked the latch and twisted open the knob, swinging the it open to reveal who was outside. when she saw who it was… 

“MALCOLM!?” 

and she didn’t hesitate to race out onto the snow-covered porch, soaking her socks, to engulf the boy ( who had seemed to have grown at least afoot ) in a tight hug, feeling her eyes burning with ecstatic tears as she buried her face in the warmth of his neck, balancing on the tips of her toes in order to reach him. payton only drew back to press a quick kiss to his lips, knowing he was still an awkward chump, cupping his face ( which TOO seemed to have matured, jesus how long had it been since she had seen him? ). after a moment she pulled back, blue eyes wide, happy tears brimming her waterline and clinging to her lashes- threatening to fall onto rosy cheeks. 

“how did you….when did you get here?

@allaboutmalcolm

[allaboutmalcolm]

Returning to California was an.. Odd experience. First off, there were no guards, no shitty hospital food, and no Payton. It was even more of an adjustment as he settled into a new house with his now new legal guardian. He hardly knew her, but he knew that she was trying hard to raise a boy. Hardly a day had gone by before he was rushed with legal concerns of money and property, things he couldn’t give two shits about considering he didn’t need or want his old house and what good was money to him with the cost that it came at. His parents were gone and no thousands or millions of dollars could help him there. Slowly bur surly though, he got things settled and straightened out. He attempted to contact Beth, Jackie, and Harley to say that he was finally out of Serenity (it sounded like a prison rather than a mental institution) but only got a kind “good for you fuck face” from Jackie, some worried but happy texts and phone calls from Beth, and a thumbs up from Harley. 

He had always thought, or at lest assumed that he would join them back in school, but things were different. Each of them had to move as well and the distance between the three of them grew. After being surrounded by people everyday and sharing a room for two years, it was so quiet being by himself. And surprising to him, he hated it. It made his blood boil and more than that, it made him anxious. He wasn’t used to things being calm like this. And at Serenity, he always had some idea of what was going on, here he had no clue. The anxiety seemed worse now that he couldn’t see Payton. She was states away and now he could only see her through the pixels of his computer or phone. He didn’t trust her word either when she said things were okay, but he could see the redness in her eyes from the tears. Wasn’t he the idiot who promised that things would be okay after they left? Both of them seemed to be miserable though as they tried to adapt to their old lives. But the world had moved on without them while the two were playing jokes and being reckless in Serenity. 

Malcolm didn’t think he would be able to see Payton for awhile. He had spoken once or twice about coming out to see her for his graduation present, but even so, that seemed like it would take forever. During his time back in Cali, he had gotten his drivers licence but it wasn’t up for debate that he could just casually drive to Pennsylvania. Time passed though and his birthday started to get closer. He hardly gave it any thought though. His last two birthdays were in Serenity, and both of them he had spent with Payton. But this time? This time it would just be him. He didn’t care for the kids at his new school. So many of them knew who he was and even just googling his name and California brought up old news stories of the bear attack. People pitied him and he hated it. The only people who never seemed to treat him different were those back at Serenity. Hell, even people started to joke about it after awhile. 

When his birthday did come up in conversation though, he jokingly said he wanted to fly to Pennsylvania. He thought nothing of it until the next day an email was sent to him confirming a round trip. His guardian, who was more like an aunt to him at this point, told him that she pulled some strings and that on his next break from school he would go to visit. She had even spoken to Payton’s parents apparently and explained “roughly” (whatever that meant) who Malcolm was to Payton. Although he never out right told his aunt the two of them were dating, it was clear with the amount of texting and skyping they did. She had even found her stupid pink jacket in his closet that he had taken out of revenge for his black one. 

Malcolm counted down the days that he would be able to see Payton and it was hard to keep a straight face whenever they talked. He had promised her at Serenity he would never keep a secret, but back there the secrets were always bad secrets... But this time it would be a good one. And then the day finally came where he boarded and by the evening he was there. The harsh cold air brushed his face as he was driven towards the girl’s house. Payton’s parents had even made the exception to let Malcolm stay in a guest room (cause apparently rich people had those?) even after knowing about the incident with him, Payton, Jackie, and Maya AND knowing Malcolm had been responsible for breaking her leg.. And half responsible for breaking her arm. He suddenly felt like he should have brought a gift for them for even letting him see her. 

As the car pulled into a driveway Malcolm looked out the window as his eyes skimmed over the scene before him. The house was large and it looked like how Payton had always described it. Beautiful and elegant, fancy and fit for a princess... But it also had that lonely feeling she always talked about. He thanked the driver and hastily grabbed his backpack. He figured he didn’t need much so he didn’t bring much. He steeped out of the car and for a moment he was nervous. What if this was a mistake. Like if Payton had moved on too, since it had been a few months since the two last saw each other. Maybe she had found someone at her school who was less awkward or less violent. He fidgeted with his hair as he became self conscious about that too. His aunt was right, he should have cut it. It was too late now as he breathed out and could see his misty breath. He tried to push his long hair out of his eyes as he walked slowly towards the door and went over what he would say or what he would do. He wanted this to be perfect. Malcolm’s knuckles lightly tapped at the door before he realized there was a door bell... Idiot... He stood there though as there were pattering of feet on the other side before it swung open and there she was. His mind was blank and everything he had practiced and rehearsed had left. 

He wrapped his arms around her though and held her tightly, probably a little too tight considering her condition, but he couldn’t help it. It reassured him this was real and that she was safe. His anxiety seemed to melt off of him as his muscles relaxed for the first time in months. He wasn’t at Serenity where he always needed to fight, and he wasn’t at home where he always needed to protect himself. He was with Payton now and everything would be alright. He closed his eyes for a moment as the two of them stood like idiots in the cold before he could hear a woman’s voice, probably her mom shouting for the two to come in before they caught a cold. He giggle like a child as he quickly returned a kiss to her, although just on her forehead since he wasn’t quite as bold as the blonde before him. The two walked inside and his eyes took in the lay out and noted the screaming from the television of The Walking Dead. “I didn’t know you watched that show...” he mumbled half to himself. Some kid in his class said Malcolm should watch it cause apparently he looked like someone from the snow. 

As his eyes drifted towards a woman walking towards him he quickly released Payton and tried to put a good two feet between them and cleared his through. “It---um--it’s nice to uh--I mean it sure is pleasure to uh meet you Ms. Lutz.” so much for practicing what he was going to say. “I’m Malcolm I um it’s--I’m glad I could meet you in person.” he stumbled through his words in an awkward fashion that caused the girl beside him to snicker. Payton’s mom smiled though and welcomed Malcolm. He thanked her again as she walked back towards the kitchen, telling the two of them that dinner would be ready soon. Finally, he was able to turn to the girl as a goofy crooked smile appeared on his face. “Sooo, are you surprised?” 

[allaboutmalcolm]

Home... [Self Para Mal]

[allaboutmalcolm]

princesspaytonlutz:

at his reaction, it took EVERYTHING within payton not to flinch. she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. he vowed he wouldn’t let anything ever hurt her and he meant it- the blonde knew that…but when he grabbed her arms she couldn’t help but pathetically whimper in response. she sounded as if she were a small puppy who had just gotten kicked in the stomach. “i’m sorry-” payton pleaded, gasping for breath. “please- malcolm, i’m sorry.” she kept crying the words as he went on his rampage, scolding her and ridiculing her dumb decision. “i know- i know it was a bad idea, but i didn’t want to go home-” she tried to reason again, but as he began to blame himself she feverishly shook her head and lifted trembling hands to cup his face. wild, cobalt optics feasted into his; “stop blaming yourself malcolm- i’m just a fucking idiot who will have lost everything if she were to go home….i would have been more miserable there then here and-” she paused, pressing her lips together as she swallowed yet another painful sob. 

“malcolm- that was almost two years ago…i was in middle school. now- now all my friends are in highschool and….they’ve gone to homecoming without me and, and probably did all this crazy party stuff without me, gotten boyfriends- moved on. they used to write me all the time but….they don’t anymore. they don’t care.” she slowly lowered her hands from his face, dropping her gaze to his own before entwining her trembling fingers with his. “but- but here i…i have you and i have friends and i have people who care about me and…and don’t want me to be anyone but myself. back home- it’s just a facade i put on… it isn’t me and- and i don’t want to go back to that. i don’t want to lose what i have here- what WE have here.” 

it was in that moment that payton lutz realized how strongly she felt about malcolm pitt. how insanely involved with the long-haired, smart-ass, awkward and lanky boy standing in front of her she was. how badly it would hurt to lose him- to not see his face every day. just thinking about it made her feel crazy…her heart thudding in her chest. she wasn’t even sure what to say at this point, keeping her watery blue eyes down as she toyed anxiously with his fingers. “i don’t want to go back to pennsylvania, malcolm. that isn’t my home, anymore.” she looked up, moving a strand of his hair that had fallen out of his face with delicate movements. “-you’re my home.”

The blonde kept speaking faster and faster as the apologies poured from her lips. He didn’t want apologies though, he wanted to know and understand why. Why did she have to hurt herself just to try and stay in Brielle? Was she suicidal or something? Did she need to actually be in the rescue ward? Thoughts swarmed his mind trying to find any piece of information that would somehow make sense to him. Once things made sense then he would know what he had to do to make things better. He was terrible at fixing things. Awful actually. He fucked things up more often than not and seemed to just make Payton’s life a living hell, so much so that he didn’t know why someone like her.. So precious to him and delicate and fragile, but with a fiery will and personality... That she would somehow find something good in him. He always thought he was a good person, maybe it was the narcissism, but with Payton, he could never wrap his head around the why she liked him so much.  

Malcolm tried to keep his cool though as Payton explained, although his face was still contorted with worry. Worry lines that his mother used to always tease him about saying they would become permanent if he frowned so much. His gaze didn’t hinder nor did his grip loosen as he listened to the girl he had known for so long and the realization hit him too. He was in middle school too when he came to Serenity. And that summer he said good bye to his friends and said he would see them in the fall. The last thing on his mind was what could possibly happen on the camping trip. He knew that after the attack the news was filled with “the tragedy” with the deaths and that the kids were not found. He also knew the news was probably filled again when the four of them were found. He was almost certain that all the kids from school had seen, hell even talked about it, but now? Now if he went back to that school he would just be a past memory. Someone they would look down at in pity that his parents were gone and that he had just spent the last two years of his life in a mental asylum. 

He tried to nod along as he listened to Payton continue to speak, now tears started to swoop down her flush cheeks. Fuck. He made her cry again. A stab of guilt to his heart his grip loosened finally as he instantly tried to make it better, padding at the moist tears that fell. “Shit... No Payton. Don’t apologize. I... I’m an idiot remember? You’re the smart one. I just probably don’t understand right? What your home life is like.” although the two had shared a lot while at Serenity, some things from their past stayed buried in their past. 

When Payton stopped talking he instantly though he had somehow messed up again. He awkwardly loomed over her and scanned her face. It was getting warmer and sunny out now and he could see the small brown freckles dotting over her nose. Soon they would be even more visible. When she finally spoke again he thought his heart in his chest had stopped beating for a moment. Or like he couldn’t breath. He still didn’t know what he had done to somehow make Payton feel this way, but he was glad she did. But facts were facts. He would be leaving Serenity soon and would probably go back to California. 

“Hey... It’s.. It’s bullshit to say it’s going to be okay. Because I don’t know if it will be okay.” the boy admitted and ran his fingers through his hair in a nervous fashion. “But you won’t be alone alright? And you’re the best person I know Payton. And if those jackasses at your school can’t see that then they’re fucking dumb anyway. Maybe they need to be at Serenity or Brielle or whatever more than we do.” he tried to smile and brushed a lock of blonde behind her ear. “Maybe I’ll come visit Pennsylvania, or you can come for a trip to California.” he sighed and shook his head. “I’ll be 18 in two more years and I’ll move to you no matter what. So just.. Wait for me okay?” he knew if Payton said she would wait, then she would. But he also knew it was an impossible situation as they couldn’t see the future. They didn’t know what would happen. For all Malcolm knew, Holmes could withdraw his recommendation at any point and send him to Brielle. Or maybe Malcolm wouldn’t even go back to California... 

Malcolm sighed, not sure if his words were even getting through to Payton. His hand slid slowly down from where he had his harsh hold and dropped down to the girl’s thin boney wrists. He could still feel a bump where the stitches were from her last injury. He gently rubbed his thumb over it for a moment before dropping his hands lower into hers and entangling their hands. “I’ll write to you... Or call you or text and Skype you. I’ll even fucking make a Facebook if that’ll make you happy. You’re not losing me Payton. Maybe through distance but I’ll still be yours.” He leaned forward and gently placed a soft and warm kiss on her forehead. 

[allaboutmalcolm]

Home... [Self Para Mal]

[princesspaytonlutz-blog]

allaboutmalcolm:

He left the office in a hurry as he made his way through the halls of Serenity. It made sense to him now why she had just walked past him. Obviously she hadn’t gotten good news.. He was braced for the worse, he knew Payton had a more serious condition than him. She could easily be accepted to Brielle’s medical program and he would just have to be happy for her. She would probably be safer there, it’s just he wouldn’t be there with her. And that bothered him, what if something like the incident with Maya happened again? He could feel himself growing angry just thinking about it as he stormed through the girl’s medical ward hallway. Finally he stopped in front of the door, his fists pounding at it. This time not in anger though, but rather desperation. He tried calling out to her so she knew it was him. Already he could hear the small choking sobs coming from inside. She was crying again. He wasn’t good at comforting people when they cried. Malcolm was far too awkward of a child to actually help them in anyway. He was so used to using his fists to solve problems. 

Still, he beat his hands against the door once more before he heard her voice and the door swung open. There the pair of them stood staring at one another. Payton’s face was red with tears still damp against her cheeks. Now that she was there he was almost at a loss for words. He let his eyes wander away as he struggled to find the right words. “I um… I spoke with Holmes too.” he started and cleared his throat, still keeping a distance between the two. Should I hug her? Or tell her she’s dumb for crying? If I had chocolate I would give it to her but that’s hard to get and I don’t have time… 

He raked his brain for what to do as he stood there like an idiot. In movies you would hug the girl and tell her it was going to be okay. But this was not a movie scripted for a happy ending. It was more like a tragedy that didn’t have an end. “I uhh… Saw you come out of his office. We probably talked about the same thing.” he started awkwardly before hearing the whispers and footsteps behind him. Even if they weren’t, it felt like people were laughing at and mocking him. Ushering the blonde into the room he closed the door behind him before taking a similar piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. 

As of July 1st, 2017- Patient Malcolm Pitt is released from the care of Serenity House, and is to return back home with the permission of his legal guardians.

“I guess I’m apparently not a danger to other patients anymore.” he joked lightly but couldn’t bring himself to look at the crying girl. “I’m not even sure where I’m going yet. The adoption papers went through though, so the good thing about that is I won’t be in the foster system.. But I probably won’t be going back to California.” he could feel himself starting to babble now trying to fill the silence with something. “We should take a trip to Cali some time though, it’s fun there. You would like the beaches I think and–” He looked up for a moment and trailed off. “I’ll call you while you’re in Brielle okay…?” he said trying to reassure her as he let his fingers link into hers. “Or… Or I’ll go fight someone and I’ll get admitted. That’s fine too.”

she kept her eyes down. after seeing his face- she couldn’t bare to look in his eyes. she had managed to keep the lump in her throat from surfacing in the form of a painful sob and so far- she has kept the tears behind her eyes. she rested her shoulder against the doorway, pushing her hands into the pockets of her hoodie as she chewed on the inside of her lower lip. when he told her about holmes, she nodded her head. she had too- she assumed all the patients had. at his next statement, payton nodded her head again. she couldn’t form words- her lips wouldn’t part. she knew as soon as she opened her mouth she’d probably crack.

payton allowed him to usher her into the room, but she didn’t move very far. her legs felt overwhelmingly unstable, her small frame rocking forward and back as she kept her eyes on the ground which was growing fuzzier with each passing second. when he gifted it to her, she took the letter- uncrumbled and unscathed with tears (unlike hers)- and red the fine print. she then looked up, brows crinkling. “…adoption papers?” she said outloud, voice softer and far more hoarse than she had expected it to be. “that’s…not going back to california?” payton knew she should feel happy for him, and she did- deep down…but right now, it was too hard for think of anything clearly. her emotions were blurring her thoughts and making it hard to piece things together. then, her eyes fell back to her mattress and she shut her eyes, breathing deeply. 

“malcolm, i’m not going to brielle.” keeping his letter clutched in her hand, she walked back over to her mattress and rescued the crumpled letter she had shoved under there, moving back towards malcolm and handing it to him. “i was released, too.” the blonde, as the tears once again clung to her lashes, laughed painfully. “i actually should have been released months ago but…i didn’t want to leave. i didn’t want to so- so i broke my own fucking arm. i got my crazy ass therapist to break it with a bookend so i could stay here and i wouldn’t have to go home and-and-” she wiped her eyes with her sleeve and then she caved. payton choked on a breath as a harsh sob left her, burrying her face in her hands, a harsh sob leaving her. “i don’t want to go home- malcolm- mal, i’m gonna be all alone. i- i don’t WANT to be alone…” 

[allaboutmalcolm]

When the blonde breathed those words that she wasn’t going to Brielle it took Malcolm a moment for him to take in that information and all the bad and terrible things he thought and to let them fade away. “That... That’s great news though Payton! That means you get to go home and--and you can see your family, your old friends. You’ll go back to school and--” he cut himself short as this still clearly wasn’t the kind of answer Payton wanted. She wanted something else and he couldn’t understand what it was. Both of them had talked about what they would do when they went home before, but now that it was in a few days that they would be back home, all of it seemed trivial now. What Payton said next made Malcolm sick and angry. 

“You---fucking hell Payton! You fucking did what to yourself?” he hissed, pleading with himself internally to keep it together. Not freak out and not to scream, but it was so hard as his voice grew louder and louder shaking with each growing decibel. “What the hell is wrong with you? You had a chance to go home and have a normal life but you chose to stay here? Why?” It was something Malcolm just couldn’t wrap his head around and he would probably never be able to. “What if you had gotten seriously hurt?? Fucking hell, you were seriously hurt, your arm was in a giant ass cast for weeks.” He closed the gap between the two and clutch her arms maybe a bit too tight, but he was losing it. “I was supposed to protect you and make sure you were safe, and you go and do that? Just so you could stay in a hell hole like Serenity?” his eyes were scanning trying to look Payton in the face, trying to find some sort of reason he could understand as to why she did it. 

“Why Payton. You wouldn’t have been alone. I would have found away to talk to you. A-and what about that girl you always talk about. You said she was your best friend. Or at school, when we met you used to brag about how popular you were. You wouldn’t have been alone...”

[allaboutmalcolm]

Home... [Self Para Mal]

[allaboutmalcolm]

princesspaytonlutz:

payton couldn’t shake the chill clutching to each, stiff vertebrate of her fragile spine- she couldn’t stop her heart from pounding so hard in her chest her ribs creaked in discomfort. she couldn’t stop herself from crumpling up the paper as she walked quickly and silently through the halls, willing herself not to cry- willing herself not to fall apart.

As of July 1st, 2017- Patient Payton Lutz is released from the care of Serenity House, and is to return back home with the permission of her legal guardians.

the blonde had brushed past multiple patients now, receiving glares or pissed off commentary disguised as a huffs, and was doing her very best to avoid everyone at all costs. stupid holmes- stupid, stupid holmes. payton had to just get to her room..she had to be alone. she was so set on making sure she got there without being seen that she walked right past him- past malcolm. if she was leaving serenity, that would mean she wouldn’t have malcolm anymore. malcolm had been in her life for two years…they had grown up together, they had been up and down, through good and bad- payton couldn’t imagine her life without malcolm in it.

when she got to her room, she rested her back against the door, pressed her palm to her mouth and slowly slid down the wood until she was sitting on the ground. glossy eyes that had been welling up with tears began to leak as salty tears slipped from her lashes onto her flushed cheeks. her breath stuttered and she let out a small whimper, leaning forward to rest her forehead on her bare knees as her body quaked helplessly. payton didn’t want to go home- she didn’t want to leave serenity. she wanted to stay here… here with her friends, here with familiarity, here with malcolm.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. 

“payton? you in there?” she pressed her forehead harder to her knees, trying to hold her breath. of all people. payton had cried in front of malcolm before…but something about this time made it different. “payton, i can hear you crying.” the blonde wiped her face viciously and stood up, moving quickly to her mattress and shoving the crumpled letter underneath it. she looked in the mirror, gasping at the sight of her blotchy face, moistened eyes and stringy hair. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. she quickly yanked her hair up into a ponytail, wiped her face one more time, then moved over towards the door, yanking it open. “WHAT, malcolm?” she said immediately, but when she saw his face- her own fell once more. 

payton didn’t want to leave him. 

He left the office in a hurry as he made his way through the halls of Serenity. It made sense to him now why she had just walked past him. Obviously she hadn’t gotten good news.. He was braced for the worse, he knew Payton had a more serious condition than him. She could easily be accepted to Brielle’s medical program and he would just have to be happy for her. She would probably be safer there, it’s just he wouldn’t be there with her. And that bothered him, what if something like the incident with Maya happened again? He could feel himself growing angry just thinking about it as he stormed through the girl’s medical ward hallway. Finally he stopped in front of the door, his fists pounding at it. This time not in anger though, but rather desperation. He tried calling out to her so she knew it was him. Already he could hear the small choking sobs coming from inside. She was crying again. He wasn’t good at comforting people when they cried. Malcolm was far too awkward of a child to actually help them in anyway. He was so used to using his fists to solve problems. 

Still, he beat his hands against the door once more before he heard her voice and the door swung open. There the pair of them stood staring at one another. Payton’s face was red with tears still damp against her cheeks. Now that she was there he was almost at a loss for words. He let his eyes wander away as he struggled to find the right words. “I um... I spoke with Holmes too.” he started and cleared his throat, still keeping a distance between the two. Should I hug her? Or tell her she’s dumb for crying? If I had chocolate I would give it to her but that’s hard to get and I don’t have time... 

He raked his brain for what to do as he stood there like an idiot. In movies you would hug the girl and tell her it was going to be okay. But this was not a movie scripted for a happy ending. It was more like a tragedy that didn’t have an end. “I uhh... Saw you come out of his office. We probably talked about the same thing.” he started awkwardly before hearing the whispers and footsteps behind him. Even if they weren't, it felt like people were laughing at and mocking him. Ushering the blonde into the room he closed the door behind him before taking a similar piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. 

As of July 1st, 2017- Patient Malcolm Pitt is released from the care of Serenity House, and is to return back home with the permission of his legal guardians.

“I guess I’m apparently not a danger to other patients anymore.” he joked lightly but couldn’t bring himself to look at the crying girl. “I’m not even sure where I’m going yet. The adoption papers went through though, so the good thing about that is I won’t be in the foster system.. But I probably won’t be going back to California.” he could feel himself starting to babble now trying to fill the silence with something. “We should take a trip to Cali some time though, it’s fun there. You would like the beaches I think and--” He looked up for a moment and trailed off. “I’ll call you while you’re in Brielle okay...?” he said trying to reassure her as he let his fingers link into hers. “Or... Or I’ll go fight someone and I’ll get admitted. That’s fine too.”

[allaboutmalcolm]

Home... [Self Para Mal]

“Malcolm Pitt, Dr. Holmes would like to see you.” it was a woman’s voice that rang clear through the air. It was one of those rare days, one where Malcolm was lounging around in the rec room, book in hand. It was curious to see the 16 year old boy with a book, but the nurse brushed it off, perhaps he had changed in his time here, she thought before he began to speak. “I’ll go later, I’m far too busy.” he huffed lowering his eyes back to the pages. She frowned. Over the years she had dealt with Malcolm’s horrible attitude and at first she took it personally, now she knew this was just how the boy acted. “Now Malcolm.” she repeated, this time with a more stern tone, blue eyes gazing at him. She held her breath, not sure if he would put up a fight or not. After a few heartbeats passed, he let out a long airy sigh and closed the book and lightly placed it on the table. 

He looked annoyed and glared at her as he walked by before letting his feet carry him towards the man’s office. Rounding the corner to his door, he saw a familiar face emerge from it. Payton. He halted where he was, expecting some sort of jab or snarky remark from her, but she stared down, tangled blonde hair brushing her cheeks. She walked passed him and he frowned. As far as he knew, the two of them weren’t fighting, so she had no reason to ignore him. Drawing his eyes back to the door, he pushed it open and strode into the office as the man looked up, his eyebrows already closely knit together. “Jesus Malcolm, knock why don’t you. What if I had been doing something important? What if you disturbed his greatness at work.” Malcolm rolled his eyes taking a seat, biting back just as hard. “You never do anything important or great.” 

Holmes shook his head and reached for his cup of coffee. Judging by his looks, this was probably his fifth or sixth cup. With Serenity shutting down, Holmes was busy and was forced to do actual work and not just sit around. Swallowing a gulp of coffee he started to speak. “Okay, let’s make this short and sweet and too the point. Today patients are packing. In two days, a bus will leave to bring the patients to Brielle.” he paused and held up three fingers.  “In three days, your Aunt--er--Guardian--um whoever she is will come to get you.” Malcolm pressed his lips together puzzled. “She’s coming to Brielle?” Holmes shook his head an pointed at Malcolm. “She’s coming to Serenity. You’re heading home.”

It took a moment for the words to process in his mind. Going home.. As in... Home home California...? This confused him even more, nothing was in Cali for him. He was told not too long after arriving here that his house was sold. They told him he would get the inheritance when he was older. He had heard that Beth, Jackie, and Harley weren’t there anymore either. “What---where?”

“Home,” Holmes repeated sighing and rubbing his temples. “Your adoption papers went through in time. You met her before remember? She’s taking you home in three days.” the man paused to study Malcolm’s shocked expression as she was surprisingly... quiet. “I’m just as shocked as you. I even recommended you for the psychiatric program there, but you were denied. Apparently you showed improvement after last summer’s Maya and Payton fiasco.” It was clear that Holmes didn’t believe Malcolm had improved at all as Malcolm lowered his eyes. Almost two years in Serenity, it was hard for him to imagine life outside of it. He had gotten used to how things worked in there and he wasn’t even sure what he would do if he left. Holmes kept talking, saying something about how Brielle would do monthly checks on him, but he wasn’t listening. His mind was somewhere else. All he could think about was home before it suddenly seemed to hit him. 

Being home = not in Serenity

No Serenity = no patients

No patients meant that Payton wouldn’t be there. 

During his stay at Serenity, Payton had become someone he almost needed. It helped him keep himself in check. If he got in to trouble she would scold him, kick him, or tell him he was an idiot. She had also become his rock during his moments of rage, someone who could pull him back and quell the anger. If she wasn’t there, he didn’t know what would happen. Probably a lot of fights. He thought to himself. As soon as Holmes stopped blabbing, he left the office in a hurry. He needed to find and talk to her. What if she wasn’t going home and she had somehow gotten transferred to Brielle. There was too much uncertainty for someone who needed to know everything. Right now, Malcolm felt powerless--a feeling he hated and scorned. It created an uneasy feeling as he roamed the halls searching for her. 

Mentioned:

@princesspaytonlutz

{{Yup, Malcolm is not making the move :’)))) After two long years of writing as this awkward, reckless, angry goofball I’m letting him retire to a personal character I’ll continue to write AU and HC for. Thank you for everyone who has written with Malcolm, it was quite the ride! If you would like to have a HC/AU with him you’re always welcome to message me! This goes for any other character I’ve had during my stay at Serenity; Christopher, Ried, Caden, Talula, Aliyah, Kenneth, Quentin, Camille, Elliot, or Xavier. Dante is the only one being carried over as I don’t have a lot of time irl to rp. }}

[allaboutmalcolm]

princesspaytonlutz:

“Uh oh…” Payton trailed off, biting on her lip as she tried to swallow a laugh, looking up at the other troublemaker as a smile irresistibly tugged at her lips. “…I won’t tell if you don’t.” 

Malcolm bit his tongue to try and stop the laughter from pouring out. “Why would I tell anyone about this. And don’t act like this was all my idea Payton!” he couldn’t help it as his laughs grew louder. He looked at the mess of the colorful medicine that was now all over the floor. After some playful teasing, the two had somehow ended up running around Serenity chasing one another until Malcolm ran into a nurses’ cart. The medicine had been all ready been sorted out, but now lay on the floor. 

[allaboutmalcolm]

eden-mayer:

“Why can’t you do it? I don’t even– actually, just give me the phone. Who am I calling and what am I saying?”

“I need you to call Jackie or Beth. It’s been a long time since either of them have contacted me.” Malcolm spoke with an edge in his voice. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on with them outside of Serenity. “Just... Don’t tell them it’s me who wants to know... Act like you’re checking up on them.”

[allaboutmalcolm]

jay-mcadams:

“Does anyone around here know how to knock? I’d like some privacy.”

“You lost that luxury when you started to leave your crap everywhere.” Malcolm huffed and throw the older male’s jacket towards him. “It was in the rec room.”

[allaboutmalcolm]

✉, $, &, ♀

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

Malcolm: I’m not going to lose you to Jude. 

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

Malcolm: Your shit looked nice today

Malcolm: FUCKING HELL AUTOCORRECT. SHIRT. SHIRT. 👕

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

Malcolm: Good night. Sleep well. 

I’m sorry this is as loving as Mal can get.

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

Malcolm: All you fucking do is fuck around with people. Wade, me, and now Jude? Fine. Have fun Princess....

@princesspaytonlutz

[thestralboy]

….

[allaboutmalcolm]

heathermariependleton:

“Oh right. I don’t know why I keep assuming that’s a common experience.” She smiled. “Is it that obvious? I’m Marie. It’s nice to meet you.”

Malcolm laughed a little at the girl’s strange words but didn’t question it. “Yeah... I’m Malcolm. It’s kind of obvious... Well that and I’ve been at Serenity for too long that I feel like I know everyone who is forced to stay here.” 

[allaboutmalcolm]

demixrivers:

Autumn-coloured eyes widened in surprise at the understanding that the pair seemed to have between them. “Right?!” With arms extending in frustration, Demi tried not to linger on the several power struggles with others that she had in Serenity. Nobody questioned her back home, which was exactly the way she liked it. Still though, this did not change her opinion on herself of being the leading and dominating female of the hospital. “And that somebody is us.” A small smile pulled onto her lips too, eyes glistening towards Malcom. Never, had Demetria so openly discussed the feeling of self-importance with anybody but she was now glad that she had chosen Malcom to open up to.

Malcolm listened to what Demi had to say before a small smile spread across his face. It was nice feeling to be acknowledged again. When he was at Serenity, most of the staff members just saw him as another patient who caused trouble, while the other patients... some of them didn’t even know who he was. He was starting to get a better idea of who Demi used to be before she came here, he actually had a feeling that if the two of them had gone to school together, they would have clashed in their different ideals. But being in Serenity it was different because you couldn’t be picky, you took what you could get. And finding someone who probably understood him better than all the damn therapists in this hell hole was something he could appreciate. “Us huh? What are we going to work on conquering Serenity now?” he laughed, but it was a partial serious question. If things worked out between him and Demi, she could be come useful, potentially even a friend. 

[allaboutmalcolm]

abbyslxve:

“I really don’t care that it’s nice out or whatever. I’m much more comfortable inside doing whatever it is I feel like doing. So no, I don’t want to go outside- STOP asking me.”

“Fine, be stubborn,” Malcolm huffed and fell into the cushions on the couch. “Also you’re so full of shit Abby. I went to ISO and there was no weird guy there.”

[allaboutmalcolm]

hannahs-wonderland:

“Uh, barely. We talked once in the library a few weeks ago. He said a few weird things, but nothing bad or alarming. He mostly just about some girl he kissed,” Hannah shrugged, not fully processing the vague words that came out of her mouth. Words that probably shouldn’t have been spread, after all, if she’d kissed someone she probably wouldn’t want a random Hannah to be blabbing about it to other patients. “Five minutes… okay, yeah, I-I can do that,” she took a deep breath, “just tell me when to go.”

Malcolm made a gagging sound and a grossed out face. “Someone kissed Nate? That’s disgusting.” he laughed, musing to himself. “He probably just did it to fuck with the girl and isn’t serious about her at all.” he smiled though as Hannah agreed to do this for him. “Okay, so see that door over there? That’s Holms’ office. He’s like the head therapist here or whatever. I need you to get him out of his office. Tell him I don’t know that you’re lost or something?” 

[princesspaytonlutz-blog]

Did you know jude has hella heart eyes for you?

“….Uh…d-duh? Pft, who doesn’t.”

@judebelinskirp

[allaboutmalcolm]

judebelinskirp:

As much as Jude wanted this to be another casual, playful conversation with his friend, he knew that this would be anything but that, and it scared him. Not because he knew deep down that any blow Malcolm threw at him could very well break him, but because he didn’t want to lose one of his closest friends here. And unfortunately, he was very aware that if he were to lose Malcolm, he might as well say goodbye to his friendship with Payton, too. That would mean losing two friendships for the price of one, and he couldn’t handle that. It hurt him physically to think that something could go wrong just through this one conversation, but there was nothing he could do about it now. “Yeah, I’m up for talking.” He could tell Malcolm was lying now–not only once, but he was almost certain that the ‘nothing much’ comment was also bullshit. But just like everything else, Jude wouldn’t call him out on it. “Yeah, I have. Yesterday, actually. Why?” He gulped hard, trying to hide the nerves from his voice, trying his best to act as though he had no idea what could possibly be wrong. “Is she okay? Did something happen?”

It was a rare feeling for Malcolm, but he actually felt kind of bad that he was here and was going to talk to Jude about it all. “Oh.. so you saw her yesterday...” he repeated what the other said trying not to let a venomous remark slip through his teeth. Payton had said she was busy with therapy and medical examinations yesterday so Malcolm hadn’t seen her. But apparently she had made time to see Jude. “Yeah, obviously the princes is doing just fine.” the boy hissed in annoyance. She was obviously doing good enough to avoid her boyfriend and spend time with Jude. He could feel his palms itching to hit something but he tried to suppress the urge as he continued to question his friend. “You know, all this week there has been some shit going on, wanted to see if you knew anything about it.” he asked taking an almost threatening step forward. “Some people around Serenity have said that you seem awfully close with Payton. It must be because you both are such good f r i e n d s.” Malcolm’s anger started to flow out as his voice continued to become louder and louder. 

[allaboutmalcolm]

heathermariependleton:

“This place looks so familiar… Orphanages and Hospitals look an awful lot alike, don’t they?”

Malcolm looked up briefly at the girl and shrugged. “Never spent time in an orphanage so I wouldn’t know.” He frowned and looked at the girl before dismissing the thought. She did look familiar, but to him all kids looked the same. “I’m guessing you just got here then? I mean, based on how you’re gawking at everything.”