"I am the son of defective male material, and I’ll probably end up the same as he is" then with this secret they give up, collapse, live with a numb place inside, feel compelled to be dark because the father is dark.
Disavow was written in order to ask a question. The question was whether you could erase the mark someone made on you by erasing their presence in your mind. The anger and hatred I have had is me giving up my power over myself, and every time I indulge in that anger, I surrender my ability to maintain control. Hate is parasitic and it will suck the life out of you.
Like anything though hate has been programmed into us and it is severely difficult to unlearn. Hate was taught to me subconsciously along with misogyny, ignorance and fear growing up. The aspect I was trying to disown in this song is that there is no room for fear in love, and fear is most certainly NOT the heart of love.
One day while driving through an apartment complex in my town called “The Woods” I thought, “If I erase the thought of this person and what they taught me would it take away the pain?” The answer is yes and no.
Until the day I die I will never forget the anger and the pain that I felt. But by letting go of that anger, I take away it’s power over me. By letting go of the pain, I don’t need it anymore.
By forgiving I take back my ability to love and trust others as well as myself. By forgiving I take back my life.
Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook, it’s letting go of your fear.
My father, who had spent much of my life programming hate and fear into my brothers and I, left my family a few years ago. A few months after he left we had dinner and he told me what he had come to realize. He now understood that he was no better than his father. Then he continued to tell me that I will probably be no better than him.
I was made from him, so he is all I could ever hope to be.
Disavow is my response to my father.
But you can take that idea and go fuck yourself.
turnnoffyourmind
stormborns
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
