Big Bro Thingy

Yo! The name's Alfred Jones, by the way, just so you know who's gonna be outstaging you, beyotch. Call me any time! Peace out! ((Independant RP blog for APH America))

[allbaconhero]

My last present for you all <3

[allbaconhero]

So, here we are, dudes~! At the end of the line! Bags packed, dreams shattered and task completed! When I first came here, I was so certain I would win I could taste it! But, guess what? Today I made my bags, I'm saying my goodbyes and realized that, even though I didn't win, I don't feel bad about it at all. Crazy as it may be, I met some of the coolest, craziest people ever thanks to this show. I made friends, rivals, fans, family even. Thanks to all of you dudes, I feel like Ive grown like a person. You know, matured. I had a lot of experiences here I never thought I'd ever have... so... Everyone. This is my goodbye.

Gilbert! Dude! I got your note. I mean, I really got it. Took me a while, you know, but... I got it. I just wanted to say... Thanks, man. We may not have talked much but you're a true friend and I'm lucky to have met you. 

Feli! Seriously, dude, you're so friggin' annoying it's not even funny! Guess you'll be missing my food now, huh? Anyways, Chiara likes you so I'll try to be nice. Good luck in life, man. Seriously, if you fall, I hope you only break a leg and not your neck! Thats how much I love ya!

Mikkel, I hope you know I have no intention of giving back Pokemon XD Love ya dude! I will forever remember you and now I'm sure you'll never forget me! XD You rock, dude! Seriously, thanks! 

Natalya, if you ever need me just call, seriously. You're freaky and scary and kinda really, very weird, but that's kind of cute in ya! Call me big bro~! <3

Alex, I wish I could've... I don't know... Take care, dude. Seriously, I hope everything goes well. Don't close yourself off to the world, dude. You deserve to be happy. 

Arthur! Where the heck are you, man?! Seriously, I'm leaving and I didn't even get a note! I do hope you find a way to get to me. If you dont... well, I... Thank you for trying. You mean a lot to me, dude. I hope Ill get to see you again but if I dont... just... thanks. 

And then there's Chiara... Dude, seriously. You're... I've never had a sister before but... I feel like now I do. I love you, dude. Seriously, I do. I'm glad I did this insane thing if only because I got to meet you. Stay in touch, okay? And Giovanni? You lucky bastard... Take good care of her. She's great. 

Well, that's all I wanted to say, really... I guess I'll be looking for a job as your local firemen, everyone! Thanks for getting me so far. Hope I made this a fun while for you! It sure was for me! Goodbye <3

[king-of-scandinavia]

Yo, dude~! Look what I got in Wondertrade! A shiny, level 100 Charizard!! Dude, is that cool or what?! Look, look at him~! Ah, and I'm training this Braveary! I named him Alfred Jr.~! XD He rocks! <3

Seriously? Lemme see! Wow! *looking at it, all excited* Wow! I can’t believe how lucky you are! Who the blazes would get rid of something like that? So, you’ve been figuring out how to do this all on your own?

[king-of-scandinavia]

Oh, nice! Remind me to make a folder for you for Wondertrade, pokemon you can trade freely, ja? Oh? You know I could help you use them, eh? Sex toys, huh? Pretty sure I can think of plenty of people to make use with them~!

[allbaconhero]

Dude, way ahead of you~! XD Already borrowed a box and caught a few Pokemon, wondertraded them for the ones I got! It was awesome!! I had to breed the Braveary, I just had to name it Alfred Jr., dude~! <3 

Yeah..." Well, you do that. Have a blast, dude! I'm not really into it XD

[king-of-scandinavia]

Yo, dude~! Look what I got in Wondertrade! A shiny, level 100 Charizard!! Dude, is that cool or what?! Look, look at him~! Ah, and I'm training this Braveary! I named him Alfred Jr.~! XD He rocks! <3

Seriously? Lemme see! Wow! *looking at it, all excited* Wow! I can’t believe how lucky you are! Who the blazes would get rid of something like that? So, you’ve been figuring out how to do this all on your own?

[king-of-scandinavia]

Oh? Then hey! How did you get them if its so embarrassing? *laughs* How is it? Its too bad your roommate is not the hot one, you know? How many pokemon do you have in your party? Are you playing ami?

[allbaconhero]

Someone gave it to me and, well, it's not like I'm gonna use it any time son. That stuff does come with en expiration date XP I have four Pokemon! I have the Shiny Charizard, an Unown, a Braveary and a Lucario! <3

[king-of-scandinavia]

Yo, dude~! Look what I got in Wondertrade! A shiny, level 100 Charizard!! Dude, is that cool or what?! Look, look at him~! Ah, and I'm training this Braveary! I named him Alfred Jr.~! XD He rocks! <3

Seriously? Lemme see! Wow! *looking at it, all excited* Wow! I can’t believe how lucky you are! Who the blazes would get rid of something like that? So, you’ve been figuring out how to do this all on your own?

[king-of-scandinavia]

Hey, its a great game! Besides, you’re leveling up the pokemon, filling up my pokedex, its a win-win situation! Oh, you have something for me? Come on, lets go get it~! Show me, show me!

[allbaconhero]

Yeah, well... Don't let Chiara see, okay? Sheesh, I really hate having pervy stuff in my room! My roommate's a girl, Jesus! DX But, yeah, dude~! It's a pretty awesome game! So addictive~! XD

[allbaconhero]

*Playing hula hoops at the beat of Opa Gangnam Style*

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

Hey, dude, what can you tell me about this Italian asshole? I think he's been hassling Chiara. Is she in danger?

I don’t know much about him, other than him knowing too damn much… That bastard has info that… I don’t know how he got it. Its beyond just knowing what has gone on in the show. Its personal records, its things that legally he should have no access to… He does have power outside, that much is certain…

How are you doing…?

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

*nods* Its pretty damn important… We wont talk about it when you find out.

[allbaconhero]

Yeah... Alright. I won't say a word about it, dude. Promise. 

[king-of-scandinavia]

Yo, dude~! Look what I got in Wondertrade! A shiny, level 100 Charizard!! Dude, is that cool or what?! Look, look at him~! Ah, and I'm training this Braveary! I named him Alfred Jr.~! XD He rocks! <3

Seriously? Lemme see! Wow! *looking at it, all excited* Wow! I can’t believe how lucky you are! Who the blazes would get rid of something like that? So, you’ve been figuring out how to do this all on your own?

[allbaconhero]

Yeah, dude~! Thanks a bunch for letting me borrow it, I'm having a blast~! By the way... there's something in my room, under my bed? I think you'll have a heck of a better use for it than I will. It's yours if you want it, dude!

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

Hey, dude, what can you tell me about this Italian asshole? I think he's been hassling Chiara. Is she in danger?

I don’t know much about him, other than him knowing too damn much… That bastard has info that… I don’t know how he got it. Its beyond just knowing what has gone on in the show. Its personal records, its things that legally he should have no access to… He does have power outside, that much is certain…

How are you doing…?

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

Google should tell ya *finding a paper, writing down a few items* Just… Just don’t let the cameras see it… You’ll understand when you read it. 

[allbaconhero]

... Sure, dude... Yeah, I won't let anyone see it, promise. I take it it's important...?

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

Hey, dude, what can you tell me about this Italian asshole? I think he's been hassling Chiara. Is she in danger?

I don’t know much about him, other than him knowing too damn much… That bastard has info that… I don’t know how he got it. Its beyond just knowing what has gone on in the show. Its personal records, its things that legally he should have no access to… He does have power outside, that much is certain…

How are you doing…?

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

You don’t want to get involved with him needlessly… I’ll…. I’ll let you have an idea about how much he knows. *fumbling to find a paper* You’ll have an idea of what you’re getting into. Just… don’t let anyone see. 

[allbaconhero]

I won't, I won't! What is it, dude? What are you showing me? *looking over his shoulders curiously*

[theblogthatisbymeforme-blog]

Hey, dude, what can you tell me about this Italian asshole? I think he's been hassling Chiara. Is she in danger?

I don’t know much about him, other than him knowing too damn much… That bastard has info that… I don’t know how he got it. Its beyond just knowing what has gone on in the show. Its personal records, its things that legally he should have no access to… He does have power outside, that much is certain…

How are you doing…?

[allbaconhero]

I'm a bit fed up with this whole thing... I really want to kick this guys ass but Chiara really doesn't want me to fight with him. I really couldn't give a fuck, what can that asshole do to me? 

[notjustagreatcook]

Worst secret? Anything you want to confess?

I…May or may not have told Ludwig that Alfred is the one who creates the messes I make in the kitchen.

[notjustagreatcook]

He’s…realistic. [chuckles sheepishly] No, it’s sort of how I show my…affection? When we’re close to someone in England, we don’t say the kindest thing about them. He’s a great guy. He’ll makes bad choices and the cops tail him now and again but he’s getting better. Er, it wasn’t quite a real marriage. It was more of a drunken decision.

So, he sleeps around. [sighs] I can’t believe I have to act like this man. I could look at old episodes. I don’t do that very often out of fear I’ll be embarrassed by the people I’m living with but it may help. I’ll try not to, she made me aware too. He carries a knife around! Can you believe that!

[he gives a smile for his interest but says nothing about it. The topic makes him uncomfortable and he gets frustrated when talking about his brother’s half the time so chooses to stay silent] 

Do you have any games here?

[allbaconhero]

Dude, seriously? The Brits call Americans stupid and you just do the same bat shit crazy stuff, huh? That's kinda awesome XD But you really gotta stop being so tsundere, dude. I mean, I get it! I think it's kinda cute, really, but not everyone's gonna like that XD

He carries a knife and he named the thing. Got some chicks name, a real fancy one too XD Dude's got some pretty weird kinks, if you ask me! You should watch the episodes, I do every once in a while. The tv ones, computers are just... I mean, I love you and all, but I really don't wanna see you naked! XD

Yeah~! What kinda games do you like, dude? <3

[allbaconhero]

[knocks on his door a bit rapidly] Alfred, I need your help with something.

My help…? Sure, dude~! What with? <3

[notjustagreatcook]

allbaconhero:

You knew something seeing as you’ve been planning to hit me over the head! I have talked to her and I do not know if she told me all of it—I hope that was all because I don’t think I could handle anymore news about what that blasted bastard did. I just wish I could do a better job. Listen, how can I possibly take care of her if I don’t fight? What sort of message am I giving to the man who—who does the shit he did if I keep from fighting? I’m pissed off that all I can do is spout crap at him and that’s all! 

[sighs] I’ll do it, Alfred. I know she’s like a sister to you, but this is something I need to take care of in this case. He’s threatening our relationship. He’s threatening her and if I don’t do something about it, it shows how incompetent of a boyfriend I am. I’m suppose to be the one protecting her.

I never doubted that you weren’t. [rolls his eyes but smiles good naturedly] Yes, yes, now you need to go. I don’t want her to think you helped me out! [cue Arthur hurriedly pushing him out of the room. How sweet]

[allbaconhero]

Dude, then pick a fight! Whatever! Just don't get your ass killed or Chiara will go nuts! She says he has this tattoo, that he's in some kind of mafia that's worst than a mafia. I googled what that damn Stidda is... sounds like pretty bad news. Just a bunch of thugs, ruthless, dirty crooks! There's just... there's a chance this guy might be more than just some weirdo with a knife fetish... But I still wanna kick his ass so bad... 

H-Hey...! Hey, dude! </3 *pouts as he's pushed out* You suck, you know! Stop ruining my life! I'll probably go live with you two someday! I don't wanna have to live with some weirdo gang member! I'm the hero, remember? I can't live with an enemy of justice! DX Good luck, dude! <3

[allbaconhero]

My Chiara is so much cuter than yours -- Chiara and Alfred

[vaffanculoimalady]

Chiara was happily joining him in laughter. She found the imitation terrible, yet slightly flattering but even so she still hit him. “You’re not a lady! You’re a beast!” she told him, using Ludwig’s constant complains as an advantage. “I like seeing you in pain, remember? I am so much into BDSM but don’t admit it! And you’re too sexy for me to resist!”

Sure, she was complimenting herself, who could resist doing that? Specially when it was putting words in the mouth of her greatest enemy. Hell, even Alfred was doing it. Still, as he ‘complimented’ Arthur’s eyebrows, she laughed even harder. Holding her ribs, she was out of breath due to so much laughter, eventually throwing herself on the bed because she couldn’t stay upright. “Comb? What are you even on?” She laughed. “Come on! Its not that bad! They suit him!”

Pushing her hair back she sighed. “Well, Berwald is not that bad! He’s actually pretty cute, and I try to take care of him!” She half-smiled. “You, on the other hand, have to be all lovey-dovey with Toris, so good luck with that!” She made a gagging motion. 

[allbaconhero]

"Oh, it's all because of that damn porno we made together! You need to move on, perverso, there's nothing else for you here!", he argued, trying to imitate her mannerisms, moving his hands in exaggerated gestures. "Besides, if I was so into BDSM I'd get that bastardo Giovanni to cut me cause I have such a big thing for weirdos and you're not weird enough for me!" 

He couldn't help but laugh out loud, shaking his head at how true his teasing was, considering her tastes in men more than a bit awkward. "About that, dude, you really do have terrible tastes. I can't even get that. I mean, it's not like you're a little bit weird yourself, but seriously? Take that Swede, for example, he couldn't be weirder and you think he's so cute!" Alfred really couldn't get that, he couldn't get what 'cute' meant to Chiara, not unless she meant 'cute' as in broken or socially challenged.

"Let's talk about your tastes here for a second. You like the Swede who's kinda insane, you like Eyebrows who's a great guy but, boy is he tsundere! And then there's Feliciano. Dude, what do you even see in him? He tries to act so sweet and cute with you but, really, he's a sneaky little bitch, he's just too smart to get caught in it! Of course, you like me, I'm pretty awesome. But all in all, the bad out weights the good! Please don't make a fat joke about that..."

At the mention of Tolys he couldn't help but roll his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh. "Dude, could the guy be more boring!! I just miss eyebrows when he's not around, you know? I just feel like he's the only one I can argue and fight with and it's a load of fun and we get each other! I say his food sucks, he says I'm fat, I call his eyebrows stupid and we're still best friends, no big deal. Besides, he just looks so cute when you tease him about his lousy tea! I wonder why I even like it so much! All in all, I'm so happy to have you as a roommate, dude! You're the only fun person who gets me around here~!"

[allbaconhero]

Do you like soda? Because I'd mount-and-do you. Get it? Mountain Dew? ;D

Hehe… As shameless as always, huh, dude? Well, I gotta admit, you get points for creativity…! By the way… Where’s my Valentine’s date? A gift? Something…? I mean this doesn’t count! Pick up lines are for the show~! Do I at least get some chocolate, dude?

[bitemescratchmeharder]

[He doesn’t move on his own, doesn’t even flinch when Alfred’s fist connects with his face, head snapping to the side and staying there, keeping his eyes on the ground even as he tastes blood in his mouth and feels his cheek starting to swell. Shit, he hates confrontation.]

…So what do you want me to say? I’m sorry? Fine then. I’m sorry you had a shitty life, Alfred. I’m sorry I’m such a shitty person. But this isn’t a fucking competition to see who has the better sob story. This is about me trying to stop you from hurting yourself even more. There’s someone out there who can take better care of you than I ever will be able to, so why do you want to stay with me in something that was doomed from the start to crash and burn exactly like this? You’ve got Arthur, you’ve got Chiara, you’re already headed down the path to a great life. Surely you can find someone else a million fucking times better than me.

I know that I’m a coward. I’m weak. I know. You don’t have to tell me that because I’ve known that from the very beginning. I run from things to cope with them.

[Oh damn, his voice is starting to crack now. This is getting bad.]

And I know…I know that I’m going to break you. I…I don’t want you broken. I’m already beating myself up every day over this, like hell I’d be able to handle watching you eventually shatter into fucking pieces because of me. Alfred…please.

Please.

Forget about me and don’t look back. I’m…just another regular bump in the road, nothing special. Get past me and move on. You deserve more than me.

[allbaconhero]

I didn't ask you to fucking apologize, I asked you to make it better! What, you think I want you to feel sorry for me? Dude, I did what you should've done ages ago! If something's keeping you from being with me, you need to tell me! I know I'm not an easy person to deal with... I just told you why. I never talked about this because... Shit, I didn't want any fucking cameras telling the world my damn secret! But I wanted you to know... And you just... Fuck, Alex, why do you want me to hate you...? What, you think I'm manipulative enough to "see who has the better sob story"? You think I don't care about putting myself down to keep you? Dude, you don't know shit about me, if you really think I would be capable of that...

Let me make things clear and easy for you. Stop trying to protect me! Stop trying to take care of me! Just stop, seriously. I don't need anyone to take care of me, I'm not that damn weak. I'm tough! I can take anything life throws at me! I can take it! ... So long as I still have hope things can turn out for the better, I'll keep fighting. I'll keep moving forward. I want to help you move forward, too. I don't believe in destiny, or fate, or anything like that. I believe in fighting for what you want, in working your ass off. I believe I make my future, I can make it better if I keep fighting. You may not always get to be an astronaut, but you be a fireman, a cop. Even if one thing doesn't work out, you just keep moving forward and try something else, and keep trying until you have something to be proud of. 

Yes, I have Chiara, I have Arthur, so what? And, yeah, I could definitely find someone with bigger balls than you have... But you won't find someone as stupid as I am. Most people will be fine with leaving you alone. I don't want you to be alone... *wraps his arms tight around him* Dude, just... stop chasing people away... Just... get off your lazy ass and actually try for a change. In the end, if you don't like me like that, I'll understand. It's not like I'll hold it against you. I'll still try to get close, I'll still try to be your friend. I just feel you need to start fighting for what you want, or you'll keep losing it. I'm trying to take care of you, you idiot. I care for you, ok? I do... I want you to be happy. So, what will it be? No more excuses. I want an answer. I guess you could choose to hurt me, if you want to. You could choose to hurt yourself. Or... you could switch it around and actually take a chance. Whatever you want, dude... Just... just know that I'm here for you. I want to be here for you. 

[allbaconhero]

My Chiara is so much cuter than yours -- Chiara and Alfred

[vaffanculoimalady]

Chiara couldn’t help but laugh at Alfred’s impression of her, even if she still playfully kicked him for acting like that. “I would never call the potato bastard sexy, idio- I mean, you beast!” She laughed even louder at her own remark. “Come on! You have to come to the kitchen with me and ruin my potatoes!”

She kicked him once more, rolling his eyes. “You know, the only stress eater here is that stupid American! You know, your roommate?” she teased. “I hate it that he calls me out on how much of a bastard I am! And I’ll have you know those eyebrows on Arthur are kind of endearing, okay? Stop teasing him! I thought you liked him!” She begun closing the mess he had. “Seriously, Alfred! If these dry up and its your fault, you have to use credits to get me new ones!”

[allbaconhero]

Laughing loudly, Alfred moved away as she kicked him, only stopping to fake a girly, coy little laugh, blushing madly at his own idiocy but undeniably having fun. "Oh, so you would never call yourself sexy, you damn potato bastard?", he corrected, pouting and trying to make his voice sound deep and girlish at once, only managing a comical squeaky voice with a hilarious Italian accent in the end. "Fine, I'll go and ruin your potatoes because I am a lady. So, shut up, I can do whatever I want and you can't hit me, perverso!"

Hearing her talk about him made him break character to laugh out loud, falling back on the bed and wondering what Ludwig would really say about him given the chance. "Damn right, I do!", he admitted, quickly pressing a hand to his mouth and correcting himself. "Of course Alfred can call you a Nazi, he is totally right and he's just so cute and sexy and I love him so damn much! He's the best roommate a lady could ever have and I just love the way his ass looks in my skirts! You keep away from my boyfriend, you pervertiti, those sexy eyebrows are mine and no one else can touch him! I'm going to get him a comb for his next birthday and offer to comb them myself~! Sigh... So dreamy~!"

"Pffft! Damn, dude, this week will be fun!" Alfred could be more than a bit self conscious about other people seeing him dressed like that but, with Chiara? Things could prove to be a load of fun and he was honestly looking forward to him. "Don't worry, dude, I'll close 'em, I'll close 'em! So, who was eyebrows? Dude, I hope I won't have to go give the googly eyes to Feliciano or something! You have to go be homo be "Gilbert", so that means you get to be straight with the homo! You gotta admit, these producers sure are weirdoes!"

[allbaconhero]

[theitaliannurse-deactivated2014]

It’s not my fault you have a painful lack of culinary ability.

[allbaconhero]

Yeah? Should we put that to the test, dude? Cause I'm about to fix you a knuckle sandwich! A big one! I bet you'd like one of those~!