Do you like soda? Because I'd mount-and-do you. Get it? Mountain Dew? ;D
Hehe… As shameless as always, huh, dude? Well, I gotta admit, you get points for creativity…! By the way… Where’s my Valentine’s date? A gift? Something…? I mean this doesn’t count! Pick up lines are for the show~! Do I at least get some chocolate, dude?
I didn’t ask you to fucking apologize, I asked you to make it better! What, you think I want you to feel sorry for me? Dude, I did what you should’ve done ages ago! If something’s keeping you from being with me, you need to tell me! I know I’m not an easy person to deal with… I just told you why. I never talked about this because… Shit, I didn’t want any fucking cameras telling the world my damn secret! But I wanted you to know… And you just… Fuck, Alex, why do you want me to hate you…? What, you think I’m manipulative enough to “see who has the better sob story”? You think I don’t care about putting myself down to keep you? Dude, you don’t know shit about me, if you really think I would be capable of that…
Let me make things clear and easy for you. Stop trying to protect me! Stop trying to take care of me! Just stop, seriously. I don’t need anyone to take care of me, I’m not that damn weak. I’m tough! I can take anything life throws at me! I can take it! … So long as I still have hope things can turn out for the better, I’ll keep fighting. I’ll keep moving forward. I want to help you move forward, too. I don’t believe in destiny, or fate, or anything like that. I believe in fighting for what you want, in working your ass off. I believe I make my future, I can make it better if I keep fighting. You may not always get to be an astronaut, but you be a fireman, a cop. Even if one thing doesn’t work out, you just keep moving forward and try something else, and keep trying until you have something to be proud of.
Yes, I have Chiara, I have Arthur, so what? And, yeah, I could definitely find someone with bigger balls than you have… But you won’t find someone as stupid as I am. Most people will be fine with leaving you alone. I don’t want you to be alone… *wraps his arms tight around him* Dude, just… stop chasing people away… Just… get off your lazy ass and actually try for a change. In the end, if you don’t like me like that, I’ll understand. It’s not like I’ll hold it against you. I’ll still try to get close, I’ll still try to be your friend. I just feel you need to start fighting for what you want, or you’ll keep losing it. I’m trying to take care of you, you idiot. I care for you, ok? I do… I want you to be happy. So, what will it be? No more excuses. I want an answer. I guess you could choose to hurt me, if you want to. You could choose to hurt yourself. Or… you could switch it around and actually take a chance. Whatever you want, dude… Just… just know that I’m here for you. I want to be here for you.
I don't...understand. I don't understand you at all.
What is it that you see in me? Because I sure as hell don't see anything myself. Why are you trying to fight so hard for this, fuck, Alfred...
I don't work hard for anything. I can't work hard for anything to save my life. If I did, I'd just screw it up, like I do with everything. Fuck's sake, I didn't even finish high school. Every job I get, I get fired from within a week. I lived with my dad for god knows how long, but he was struggling to make ends meet as it was already so I just...left. Mooched off other people whenever I could. One night stands just for a nice place to sleep for once...it's kinda funny how much people are willing to spend if you convince them you're a prostitute. [Laughs bitterly, shaking his head and trying to pull away from Alfred]
...I'm used to pain. Disappointment. Depression. That's all I've ever known, that's what normal is to me. Sleeping around is the only thing I know to do to get rid of those feelings even for just a couple minutes. And then I try out for this stupid show on a whim and suddenly everything is...not normal. You and your goddamned smile that every time I see makes my heart do some fucking awful jumpy, skip-a-beat shit and it makes me feel sick like I need to see a doctor ASAP or else it's gonna explode straight outta my chest. And it hurts like a bitch and I hate it, and I can't fucking make it stop.
Damnit, Alfred, I...I-I don't understand. Literally. I don't understand any of this and it frustrates the hell outta me because god fucking damnit, I want you to be happy but I can't see how you'd ever be happy with me. I didn't wanna get so attached, I didn't want you to get so attached to someone as fucking awful as me. Why won't you just leave me already...?
I...I can't...
F-Fuck...why the hell does it have to be you...?










