why do I seem to need to? || tsc chapter 6

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Keni

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@allforminyard
why do I seem to need to? || tsc chapter 6
and it's too hard to describe this in a way that feels honest...
honeybee by olivia rodrigo // the king's men by nora sakavic
professional shit starter not finisher
a beautiful day to remember that neil josten and andrew minyard get to spend the rest of their lives pissing each other off and turning each other on. happy pride :)
optimist: this glass is half full
pessimist: this glass is half empty
nora sakavic: andrew looked as he always had, and neil knew his face as well as he knew every iteration of his own
sometimes I think about how Wymack made the foxes because he never wanted another kid to go through what he did only for his own son to qualify. and then i stare into the sun
apologies in advance—
should we talk about how hard Neil tried to understand Andrew? that feeling of easing the pressure in your chest by hurting your own skin, because it helps, right? at least, it helps Andrew. and because it matters to Andrew, it becomes important to Neil too: understanding what he feels, more of his life, stepping beyond the narrow borders of his own existence, his vital goal of survival and finally letting something else into the center of his world. what kind of pain drives a person to keep hurting themselves just to feel relief afterward? Neil is so desperate to figure this out that, for the first time in his life, he tries to put himself in someone else’s place and understand what was driving Andrew during the worst period of his life.
"Am I at ninety-four yet?" "You are at one hundred.” ― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men
Kayleigh Day and Kevin Day
i still think its hilarious how neil went 'kevin and i talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time' because they literally never do. he just made that up and dragged kevin under the bus as well for no fucking reason other than to be dramatic.
did anyone get the golden raven audiobook??
Releasing my loverboy andrew minyard so I can go work on sm else
The monsters going to class ✨