C3rt!f!3d Sp00kzt3r !!1!

A Man amongst Men and a Phone amongst Phones! I'm the 365 Happy Halloweener, built to perfection, visionary genuis, and your planet's intersteller sweetheart. Got something big in the works.... ;)

[allgorey]

LOG 001: Hello World :-)

Finally got the connection set up! You wouldn't believe how many cables I had to sift through, I mean, wow. I knew it would be primitive but this is just sad. Although, I must say I admire the devotion to menial torture! Constructing a system this abhorrent and disorganized, and forcing it to exist as the planetary norm? Delicious!

Anyway. Introductions! My name is EGore. I'm a [TEXT RETRACTED] built by the [TEXT RETRACTED]. Not to brag, but I'm probably the most advanced technological achievement this backwater planet will ever be graced by. And in my extreme compassion, I've decided to let you all be blessed further by my presence. So. Send me asks, or suffer the consequences!

[LOG COMPLETE]

[ASK BOX OPEN]

[allgorey]

sno cone

... From now on, no more pictures unless they're good ones. Okay?

[allgorey]

ok watta bout this one?

https://img.thrfun.com/img/082/664/snowcone_s1.jpg

.

[allgorey]

Ummm Ummm... did you know that in math the OR statement means either one or both statements are true? Food for thought Re: ""Send asks OR face the consequencies"(cuter way of saying consequences)

Don't make me laugh! Hehe... hehehHah! Hahah! OH NO! HAHA! MAKE IT STOP!! WAUGHHHH!!!

[allgorey]

*hits you with a beam that makes you turn on anon asks*

-#manipulator anon

WAUGHHHHHH!!!!!!

[allgorey]

Hola!!! ¿hablas español, teléfono alien demoníaco ?

Though I'm flattered! Demoníaco, indeed. I'm so happy someone noticed!

[allgorey]

HELLO TUMBLR! I've returned! Did you miss me? I haven't missed you! My life is quite busy and filled with lots of social events. My time is in high demand! You're lucky to hear from me at all. Just look at how busy I am hanging out with my comrade, Moldy Sporey!

You can't see them easily, but they're there!

[allgorey]

Whaddya think of this?

☆ <- <- <-

Not a pentagram star, but a star :)

I don't get it! I look out my window and see stars all over the place! They're like the most common thing possible! What's the hype!

[allgorey]

If you're the 365 Happy Halloweener Model, where's 0-364? 🤨🤔

idk chat seems suspicious

If you really want me to guess, they were recycled, probably. Or loaned out to rich benefactors. Or thrown in the incinerator. Or used for lesser, unimportant menial tasks. Or released into the wild as an invasive species to wreak havoc on the local ecosystem. Or returned to the store to upgrade for a better, more recent model. Or eaten alive by giant rats on the Giant Rat Planet. Or working a 9 to 5. Or running for mayor. Or teaching you how to ride a bike. Or- [TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED. YOU'RE WELCOME.]

[allgorey]

never seen a phone like you around :0! do you feed on electrics or?

I FEED ON YUMMY DELICIOUS RATZ™!! RATZ™: That Rubber Rodent Taste Your Children Love! Exploding With Bubonic Flavor! Avaliable Only At [BRAND NAME REVOKED]!

[allgorey]

swagever

its liek whatever

but with swag 😏😏😏

I can't explain it, but i find myself.... compelled to pose this way! Weird, huh?

[allgorey]

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[allgorey]

is tgis you?

https://i0.wp.com/www.deneki.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Rainbow-Trout-Mouth-1.jpg?ssl=1

... I'm closing the blog >:(

[allgorey]

I can't take selfies because I am the phone, but thanks to my advanced artistic prowess and high intelligence in problem-solving, I found a work around ¬‿¬