can't spell clitorius without tori

[brawnie]

*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

[hum--hallelujah]

actually I can make my own post look at him

[penny-anna]

i think the reason why the assassination of Julius Caesar is one of the funniest political assassinations is for this very simple reason:

1 guy stabs 1 guy: not funny. that's murder.

2 guys stab 1 guy: even less funny. that's two against one.

60 guys stab 1 guy: uproariously funny. why do you need so many guys.

[grandpuppyalpaca]

60 guys say they'll stab 1 guy, but he only ends up with 23 stab wounds: peak comedy and peak relatability for group projects. what can surpass it?

[ra3theemo]

he<333

[bogleech]

I don't know or care what this video is about I just want to know why the thumbnail was carefully edited so that the text goes behind her eye. Who has ever done that in any image in human history

[release-the-mccracken]

The friendship being everlasting. The trope of seasons changing but the people not. It got to me, man...

[seamossdoll]

[nitevision2002]

i’ll never get tired of seeing this quote

[glassofpumpkinjuice]

(austin 3/8/24)

[icecream-headaches]

Pre-hiatus Patrick Stump posing for pics with this face. He did this a lot

[bob-artist]

Bittern at the grocery store

[typhlonectes]

BITTERN AT THE GROCERY STORE!!!

[engulfes]

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

[existentialdruid]

This

[jelliebeanbitch]

there are more tweets in this thread

fucking SLAY

[stumpwentz]

x

[fairycosmos]

parent-child dynamics are soooo crazy. i love you i resent you i can't stand you i adore you i pity you. and still watching your hair get a little more grey every time i see you makes my stomach feel weird

[ccorinthian]

fuck you ageism fuck you life ending at 30 fuck you makeup industry forcing us to feel bad about a natural process fuck you hustle culture fuck you instagram fuck you youtube fuck you glorification and deification of youth fuck you who make people feel bad for not having "achieved anything" in their 20s fuck you people who peaked in high school and try to drag everybody down by insisting it's all downhill after 19

[beemovieerotica]

Do u not enjoy tasting things

true story my spouse made me start chewing my food more often and I was shocked at how flavorful things are. I'm 32

[redrook]

when he first started dating he was sick a lot, and told me about a family legend that they were cursed with stomach problems because his ancestor was a samurai who had failed to commit sepukku, and now they all needed to experience the pain that he should have

and then one day we were having dinner and I was like. hey. are you not chewing your fucking food

and then I met his family. and they all just unhinge their jaws like snakes. horking shit down like wide-eyed seagulls at the beach

anyway he mostly chews his food now and the ancestral samurai's curse has left him

[beemovieerotica]

correlation is not causation

[porcelain-rob0t]

having a uterus SUCKS man bc all day you'll be feeling the "hey bestie check your pants 😃 check it right now 😃 you might be getting your period 😃 hey bestie i think youre bleeding 😃" and then when you check if you got your period and your body is like WRONG ❌️ its The Slime

[fairycosmos]

every time i make a mistake im like theyre going to put me down like a sick dog