"Murder," She Sassed.

Danni ✨ 25 ✨ She/her ✨ Sapphic ✨

[homunculus-argument]

Great prank concept: choose a target, get a few photos of them, then find an artist who can replicate some extremely specific type of historical art, commission the artist to draw a portrait of the subject in that exact style, and then have the picture saved up somewhere for the next time your target starts talking shit. So you can reply to them with

"Didn't ask, don't care, also you look exactly like this drunk guy pissing into his own mouth in a medieval manuscript" and sending them a picture that looks exactly like them as a drunk peasant guy pissing into his own mouth in a handwritten medieval style manuscript. Because it is.

[pretty-puppy-aurora]

Toad shame pics

I have to escort them out of my yard or my dog will be evil

[strapbunny]

that super hot femme with weird interests can change your life btw

[cristalplanetheart]

😳

[savethewailes]

Let! That! Baby! Eat!!!!!!

[adelphicoracle]

Perfect tags

[i-cant-carry-it-for-you]

[lizardsister]

absolutely LOST in the sauce

[homunculus-argument]

If you have a loved one who is a notorious complainer and/or always critical of everything, if you hear me asking them "what is good enough for you? what would the world have to be like in order to be up to your standards?" then by all means remove me from the situation ASAP, because the next thing coming out of my mouth is asking them that if nothing will ever be good enough, then why are they still here, enduring all of this sickening imperfection.

Unless, of course, you want to watch me ask your nana why she hasn't killed herself yet.

[homunculus-argument]

I am currently begging one of my friends to let me do this to her mother-in-law.

[datura-inoxia]

My mother is like that and I've asked her countless times. I think she doesn't know, or doesn't know how to articulate it so she defaults to vague statements about other people not being "fair" or not "putting in the effort". And when you ask about her concept of fairness or effort it's either circular logic or anger.

I don't have the fucking balls to tell my mother to off herself if she is so unhappy, or tell her that there are drugs that can make her care a LOT less about what other people do or say.

But I think this may work if the person in question isn't your parent.

[homunculus-argument]

I know you probably meant like, psychiatric medications, but I'm too amused by the thought of just telling her "hey ma, I think you'd be a lot nicer to be around if you smoked meth."

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[eon-of-axolotls]

[knifenymph]

change does not come from a place of comfort

[aquareaper3]

I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I don’t know what you are talking about

[homofied]

[opalfairy]

[jessebloom]

i hate when top wildlife predators are just lil babies teeny tiny babies

[ashyfurz]

[bat-demon]

. that is a serial killer

[i-am-a-fish]

fuck, I just realized that if I spend my life being too intimidated to make art then that means I don't even get to make bad art. I end up making NO art. that's way worse

[i-am-a-fish]

I don't think dust needs to exist personally

[i-am-a-fish]

I really love this website and the people on it a lot

[cali]

2018 tumblr post:

1: why do they call it a boner when theres no bone in it

2: there used to be

3: why does this sound so ominous

2025 tumblr post:

1: forward my shambling soldiers and slay without thinking. let blood flow into every crevice of this rotten land

2: yes my lady

3: yes my lady

[innerchildabortionclinic]

your ex is a narcissist? so he must struggle with close friendships, right--oh, he's respectful to his male friends? he only acts this way around women? that's crazy, they should invent a word for such a phenomenon

[sunbleachedbitch]

Me if I had a resteraunt on 14th of Febuary:

-> Homoerotic friendships eat FREE.

-> Couples pay double charge.

-> Lesbians eat free. Single or coupled.

-> Straight couples may or may NOT be seated depending on the boyfriend’s vibe. If he’s chopped and annoying, he will be asked to leave. The girl shall stay.

[homunculus-argument]

I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[donjuaninhell]

I swear, some of you people somehow manage to possess all of the three most unfortunate character traits someone can have: a) kinda stupid, b) obnoxiously contrarian, c) deeply annoying.

[tockthewatchdog]

stuff you say when you don’t give a fuck about women quite frankly

[cardassiangoodreads]

Hence the not-uncommon adage that the washing machine did even more for women's liberation than the birth control pill

[homunculus-argument]

Amazing how on the internet you see memes that people your age are making that are like "wild how I used to be able to stay up all night drinking Juice Of Make Yourself Allergic To Weather and snorting Acid That Corrodes Your Bones every single weekday since I was 15 and now that I'm 30 I'm fucking ancient and crumbling and every time I can sense a storm coming I sneeze so hard that I break all my ribs. Getting old fucking suuuuucks."

Like mate I know that telling you this now is massively unhelpful, but your situation was not inevitable.