[bugslibraryy]

Shane holding Ilyas handsome face in his big ass hands, cradling it, his fingertips into his curls, palms at his jaw and he’s leant down over him, from where Ilya is laying in his lap, kissing over his face like “mwah mwah mwah” everywhere he can cover and when he pulls back Ilya shakes his head a little and mutters “more” and Shane sighs and then says “okay” and starts his kisses kisses kisses all over again. He’ll stop when Ilya says it’s all better

[ilyannarozanova]

I do think that Shane is waaaay too much of a realist to believe in soulmates HOWEVER he 100% secretly believes that he and Ilya will die of old age at the exact same time while holding hands and that their souls will be forever intertwined beyond life and death. So mark that down.

[lavenderprose]

Nothing will ever beat that shot of Ilya heading towards the door to let Shane into his house in Boston. Like:

- Shoulders. Back. Arms. 🫪 (Yeah this is the horny balloon emoji again for those who can't see.)

- Fixing the hair? Soooo casual. So nonchalant. Doesn't care at all.

- Imagine answering the door shirtless in October and that just being a casual choice you're making with no ulterior motive at all. Happened to my best good friend Ilya Rozanov

- The Rick Owens haunt the narrative

- Moles.

- Literally he is serving and for what. Shane walks in the door like "Wattup you know who built this place" and has to be redirected like a distracted dog.

- He is trying to be so cool and casual and nonchalant. He's so chill and cool and nonchalant in fact that he breaks a personal fucking record for how long it takes him to get Shane's legs around him. (42 seconds. I counted.)

- Starting to think that Shane has Doritos at the Cottage because he's being fully sublimated into it by Ilya's shoulder to waist ratio. Like it is that serious.

- He's literally prowling I do not know what else to say. Shane should feel fucking hunted the minute that door opens and all he does is go "Okay 🥰" like he never. Stood. A. Chance.

[1410-1221-dec2008]

[consumer-of-books]

Shane Hollander is a jock, Shane Hollander does not wear anything but athletic wear, Shane Hollander does not have a skincare routine.

Shane Hollander routinely uses sunscreen(for safety against skin cancer) and washes his face with a sensitive skin friendly soap in the shower. He uses the same bar for his entire body.

Beyond that his smooth skin is entirely coincidental. Ilya is very jealous of this. Ilya wears hair products, styles himself meticulously and has tried multiple skincare routines. None of which are giving him the supple skin he desires.

The first time Ilya goes to Shane's real apartment and not the sex condo he is outraged by the number of unused samples of skincare products, mostly because these brands are choosing to work with Shane when he knows for a fact that Shane does nothing to properly take care of his skin.

Shane's bathroom sink is barren.

Shane *enters Ilya's bathroom*: why do you have so much clutter in here

Ilya *outraged*: is not clutter Hollander we did not all climb out of womb and become world's prettiest man by accident

Shane *having no filter*: why do you bother with it if it doesn't work?

Ilya: 😭

[omgshesblowinbubbles]

Don’t Twinkify my Shane but also don’t Dumbify my Ilya! He does not need a sex ban threat to pick up his socks, he knows Shane doesn’t like stuff on the floor. He does not eat McDonalds while shane cooks dinner. His goal in life is to be a good boyfriend and make his man happy and he is very good at it.

[needyilyarights]

I think Ilya is constantly singing little made up songs to Anya and Shane teases him for it every time until Ilya catches Shane quietly singing the “dinnertime for Anya” song as he portions her wet food and Shane is never allowed to pick on Ilya again

[lavenderprose]

Like I just knooooow people are tired of them. Everyone knows without being told that they are having freak sex CONSTANTLY and that they are so in love about it. Like how does it feel to be together for twelve years married for one and you are STILL knocking the walls down every night. Everyone said it HAS to stop at some point and they are WRONG. Second season on the Cens Shane is still coming in routinely with bite marks on the BACK OF HIS SHOULDER and there is only one mathematical explanation for how they got there. Like ohhhh my name is Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov and the only thing I do is win Stanley Cups and have hot freaky athletic people sex with a man who would kill and die for me and I make MILLIONS OF MONEYS while doing it. I know people hate them.

[chungledown-bimothy]

the centaurs being absolute idiots and somehow coming to the conclusion that they found hollanov rpf that ilya wrote in ~2015

instead of communicating like normal people, they start quoting the fic at him in the locker room.

he's incredibly confused but luca's soul has left the plane of existence entirely because what do you mean his teammates are reading his hollanov soulmates au to ilya rozanov

[mapetitefeedeslilas]

After witnessing yet another angry and offensive answer Hayden had for one of Ilya's playful chirps, Arthur Pike will totally, and in the most genuinely innocent and hurt way possible, ask loudly "dad, why are you always so mean to uncle Ilya?" and a deafening silence will fall on the crowd gathered at the Hollander-Rozanov house for whatever celebration

[ilyasvodka]

i can’t explain it but ilya rozanov in a bad mood is king of the blanket burrito and it takes all of shane’s olympic strength not to laugh at the big lump on the bed grumbling blyat. nooooo shane i want to lie heeere :(

[sweetangelfart]

I bet David and Yuna have a bet going on whenever the boys stay over in their house for the night on whether or not they do naughty things.

Yuna at the beginning is like 'urgh David not our shane, not under our roof' 😆😆 and David will just smile with a cheeky twinkle in his eye with a 'sure dear so 20 dollars?' 'You're on!'

The bed in their son's childhood room is heard creaking very lightly at 11 pm and Yuna is the first to notice. She glances the sleeping man next to her hoping that he's fast asleep, but a heavy arm drapes across her waist pulling her into the warmth of her husband.

He sleepily murmers, "I think this is round 2 actually." And she feels her cheeks burning.

"Oh my god David, how do you even know that?"

"I know my sons"

"Ew that sounds so wrong"

"My love, they've been together for nearly 15 years now. Surely you know they're having sex with each other."

"I know that! I just.... I don't need to hear my literal child having sex!"

"Well, he's an adult who has a husband he's happily married to and they'reboth in their prime years of life while they play a physically straining game for a living...i would suggest you use your ear plugs. But then again, They're not even being that loud"

"David!" Yuna hisses, giving his arm a slap which results in David chuckling.

"Want me to distract you darling?" He says rubbing her stomach and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her shoulder

"David I swear to god!"

"uh huh, then you better be quiet and let me take care of you"

And David is anything if not efficient. Yuna needs to press a pillow to her face in order to not moan outloud as her thighs shake.

Down the hallway, shane has had to stuff his mouth with a pair of (clean!) Underwear while ilya fucks him cause he will not have his mother finding out the noises he makes in bed!

Yuna pretends to not notice purple spot on her son's stomach as his shirt rides up while he's trying to get flour out of the top cabinet and ilya can barely suppress the smirk growing on his face as he notices a hickey at the base of Yuna's throat that he's certain wasn't there yesterday.

Ahh the horny hollanders agenda stays strong 💪 💖

[hrsocials]

suggestion: this tweet except it's shane instead of his forefather sidcros,,, possibly ilya is the one name dropping him lol but also i'm sure anyone with eyes could say it

.one hundred and one. i picked something boobier than the original sorry ;) back to the internet crashout over shane having a man on our next episode

[hollanovbiter]

list of things ilya has had to pull out of shane’s mouth like a toddler:

hoodie strings

popsicle sticks & straws

the plastic part on the end of the arm of his glasses

the centaurs keychain on his car keys

the same piece of gum he’s been chewing for a disgusting 4 hours

ilya’s necklace

ilya’s fingers

ilya’s…. when it’s too much

[fleabagsversion]

MyBood is a retired party boy himself, this is why he loves throwing those barbecues as an excuse to get his team together. When Ilya joins the team, they bond over the 2010s party playlists. Fast forward to their cup win, Ilya, Bood, Troy and Wyatt stay with the rookies at the club till four in the morning, because the dj plays the 2010s hits in honour of the OG party boys Ilya and Bood.

[lavenderprose]

Shane at 19 has very vivid and extreme fantasies of Ilya Rozanov knocking him up (he dreams about it more than once) not because he particularly wants to have children (Jury's still out) or because something something a piece of Ilya inside him, but because the idea of becoming teenage pregnant by the Bad Boy of Hockey is genuinely such a fucking power fantasy. For Shane specifically. Is it biologically possible? No. Would it be in any way remotely okay or fun if it happened? No. Is it blindly hot to imagine for purely horny reasons the idea of standing next to Ilya at some league event, visibly pregnant and holding his hand and knowing that every person who looks at him knows what Ilya did to him? Yeah.

[symphoniccowboy]

when shane & ilya start taking pictures of each other i think ilya gets sooo mad at shane bc ilya is taking all of these gorgeous shots of shane basking in the sun on a rock in the lake & laughing while cooking with yuna & smiling in the car behind his sunglasses meanwhile shane is taking blurry pictures of ilya dead asleep with his mouth hanging open blowing a snot bubble & scratching his asscrack while making an omelette .