At Any Given Moment

@alliknow-alliknow

I write better then I talk and sometimes I talk a lot, I live in my head and when some thing inspires my creative side I have to get it onto any piece of paper I can find, it's compulsion not choice, exposing anything I write feels like coral scarping my skin, but nothing is more raw and powerful then when words pour out of me without thought, I listen to music for the words over the sound and I will listen to the entirety of a song just to hear the tremor of the singers voice at a single line, I want to travel the world so I can write with the knowledge I have been exposed to all I can, give dimension to the worlds in my head, and I'm saying all these things here because it all gets trapped inside me at times and I like the way the keys sound when I'm typing

614 posts

Andy Warhol said "people should fall in love with their eyes closed" but he never saw your eyes against the rose gold sunset when you can't look away

The only thing I ever wanted to be drunk on is you

Because you are real love. You are the safe sounds in darkness, the place to store my heart so it doesn't get burned. You are the warmth when I'm surrounded by ice. You are the laugh when it bubbles out from my chest. You are the blue eyes the ocean was inspired by. You are the person who would never ask me to change but that I will be better for. You are the joy I feel when the sun touches my mane, the joy I seek when the rest of life is not quite right. You are the inspiration in life and the muse in my art. You are.

The days can be long, where I don't want to play, and 3 steps backwards seems easier then standing still, and I can't hide from my shadow, but I see your face, and hear your laugh, and our hearts have always saved a place for the other to rest, I've known you since souls were new, you are my favorite reason

I'd do it all the same to get to this spot, to get to these people. I wouldn't give up our moments for any other universe's version of reality

Soul choices and directions. Places to be but a heart held deep. When did running free become a punishment, when did making the right decisions hurt this much. This is the kinda thing that the selfish parts of me wishes I was ignorant of consequences.

Our temperature is the same but there is a raging storm causing havoc in me, bashing away at boarded up windows, is it really so strange to think that your waving waters and pulling moon settled something in me once to proud to be taken down by any element, the force within you is the reaction in me

It's when the words don't matter anymore, the everyday stuff is just calling it in, it's when you can't read each other anymore. It shouldn't feel like climbing mountains to cross bridges or talking to paintings to be heard. And its not anger. And it's not an ache. It's just a moment passing, a shift in place.

No more investing effort where it is not wanted

I can't hear you anymore

It's the invisible pain that echos, the unsaid hurt that changes us, a false understanding that tears at the soul, there is no tragedy in silence but a lonesome ache merges until it becomes the same

The hurt only comes when I breathe, if I hold my breath I think I can forget you

Life moves on, an immutable truth. Things that once seemed so constant just aren't anymore. It doesn't change the importance of what once was, it's not even a sad thing. Remembering fondly, nostalgic. I once would have traveled the universe to sing with you, and maybe I wish I could stop the clock at 11:11, even for a moment. To appreciate it better, to love you harder, but there's no slowing time, it always runs out, and life always moves on

And didn't you know, I will take a part of you with me to navigate the stars and everywhere I go they will know you, because to know me means they will know the parts of me you set free

What does this feel like. From highs to lows, I'm an even line now, isn't that what a heart monitor does when there is no more beat, will I be able to love the same way, to care, the answer is no, not really, but when you dig yourself out of a hole even ground feels like stability, I think caring less has been what I've been needing this whole time

I loved your voice but I value your silence as well. Just being in your presence made me believe in all things meant to be. I'll take you will me on every adventure, find you in the woman fixing the dress strap of a stranger before they cross the street, in the bakery on 5th street when the smell of the cookies baking almost taste like yours, on a walk by the beach as I avoid the waves but remember when you raced to splash in the icy surf, it's the fondness of the time spent with someone you truly enjoyed

I want to rage and get your attention and affect you. I want to matter to you. I want my absence to matter to you. But none of it has worked in my favor when it comes to you. All I have left is to find the moments to hammer and seal and reinforce these walls. How do I ever get them strong enough to not collapse in your gravity.

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