Growing Up Underprivileged and White
I used to believe there wasn’t such a big problem in the world. Mostly because I was sheltered away. I ended up liking it that way, eventually, after awhile. After my experiences consisted of a large amount of negativity and disease, attitudes without remorse and hatred stemming from what I can only assume was people gathering their self identity from their traumatic life experiences. But that is besides the point, and now I know different. I look at my past with different eyes. Eyes that have seen the news, read through the stories, and seen it first hand: Classism and Racism is very much alive in the United States. In truth, it has become more and more painful to confront, as it sticks to the front page more and more often. And I don’t understand how we somehow allow it to continue.
But then, it all makes sense. All of a sudden, I step back to my past, and look from my point of view: As a young girl, alone, living with my family, as I remember, in one of the poorest neighborhoods that rang gunshots nearly everyday. Where I was the minority, being white. But it was okay, because we had other girls to hang out with that my big sister made friends. I didn’t really have friends, but I would hang out with them. And occasionally I would get threats from other girls that didn’t know me, because I was the white girl. I realized these threats might have stemmed from a place where those who had threatened me did it as a recourse- They gathered their image from traumatic conflicts that were very much real: because of their skin color they were threatened everyday of their lives. Who was I? Why was I living there? And that’s how it all made sense: When you take away someone’s privilege, they will scream oppression because they have never been on level ground. But when you grow up on level ground, you wonder why these things happen at all.
Being white and underprivileged teaches you a lot. Mainly, it teaches you, that no matter how impoverished you are, you are still white, and you still have that privilege. Don’t get me wrong. I faced a lot of hard times. I was excluded because of the clothes I wore, second hand. The hair cut, because we didn’t go to the salon. The lack of self care stemming from the lack of self love- I didn’t think much of myself, and it could be easily seen. I wasn’t socialized, therefor I really didn’t know what agendas were at work in people. I honestly began to hate many people around me, which, later on, tended to mainly to be white and middle class, after we moved into a better neighborhood. But, I still had privilege. Privilege that will allow me a job, most likely a job that pays well, and maybe pays more to you than what a person of color would make. That will allow me to walk into places without being watched. That will allow me to walk in parks and down streets, and not be afraid of the police. Being white will allow many, many things. Meanwhile, as I wrote, take away these things from a white person who has grown up in a middle to high class white family, and, yes yes, they will scream oppression so loudly it hurts.
Really these things, these basic human rights, should not, and should have never been privilege. How we have come so far, but not, is really confusing, and completely beyond me. The world is full of bigots and rabble-rousers, and this is what happens when those people continue to enter the political system, whether by the uniform of a police officer, or the robe of a judge, or the suit of congressman. And these people, some of the time, don’t realize they are bigots, or sometimes just their slight embedded racism. They think they are “liberal” or “progressive.” Politics is truly everything after all, and to discount being politically correct is to discount the nature of the current state of the world, more so, the United States, especially in a time when we continue to struggle so violently with civil rights..human rights. In a world that has progressed more rapidly through technology, and the visibility of these crimes and issues becoming so vehemently apparent, it is important we push them. It is important we understand it, fully. While the answer may not be more black judges, or black politicians, or more “radical” whites who believe in human rights instead of profiting off of the industrial prison complex or not stigmatizing or scoffing at an aspect of another culture because they don’t understand it or like it- the answer is not just one thing. But, what is most important is we get off our asses and do something about, and be strong allies to the black community, and start listening. ACTUALLY LISTENING, and not discounting or unwittingly committing to knee jerk reactions. When you can start listening, you can start doing more than just listen. You can start being active in your community and change things for the better and bring people together. Black lives matter, period. It is time to start recognizing that in everything we do.