Its the 2nd of October. The last thing you messaged was goodbye on the 29th of September. Theses were the some of the last things she said to me. All by text, I haven't spoken to her in person for 3 weeks. I see her everyday. She lives in the flat above me. I've not left my flat for nearly a month, I've been out twice at night. I broke my sobriety. I feel like I've lost everything. This break up has really hit me. I didn't realise I've been in love with someone, who hasn't loved me for years.
'you were a good girlfriend, but I can't help feeling lonely and unwanted, that's a big part of a relationship'
'I can't do this anymore all together, I can't find happiness with you anymore'
'But you're always not well, there's always something wrong, you're always sleeping, my life is literally waiting for you to wake up'
'You realise you broke my heart 6 years ago. So all this I hope the next time you fall in love someone breaks your heart, you have already done that to me. I thought us getting back together would fix everything but it only lasted for a short while and then I felt unwanted again.
(Please dont have sex above me).
How can I promise that? I don't know how long we are both going to be here? What happens if we're both here another 2 years and you want me to promise that?
I have literally said l'm not in that head space but to promise you when we both don't know how long we wil be here?
You didn't want me for 3 years but you don't want anyone else to have me
I'm not enjoying this one bit but I don't get how i can promise
I'm not trying to break your heart.
But I need to be honest there is no point feeding you with false hope.
Yes because I had a shit ex but I never didn't want to sleep with you because of her. You're the one that's made me feel like I'm not wanted.
I did say you were my best friend and you said you didn't feel like it, I said I still wanted us to be in each other's lives.
With how you have been towards me right now, no, I didnt want any of this. I sat on that bed and spoke calmly with you, i said I wanted you to be happy and if that had to be someone else then thats what it had to be.
I said i seen you as my best friend and that I still wanted you in my life.
You have pushed me away with all of this, all I wanted was some space.
My head just needed some space and you didn't give me that.
You have made this 10x worse yes.
I hadn't split up with you when I first went upstairs, I just wanted space but you've been awful towards me
And honestly right now I don't feel safe around you.
I wasn't going to be like her, and take away the bond you have with another cat!
I left because of my unhappiness, l'm sorry that I was unhappy, did you want me to go the rest of my life staying to just please you? Because you don't obviously understand how I felt, you obviously don't care that I was lonely.
You did this to me 6 years ago. I've already been there.
You're the one who is treating me like shit, I had to leave because of my happiness.
I told you time and time again about weed you just didn't care, you'd happily go off and do it for days on end, it's times like those that I thought abiut my life and if this was what |really wanted and I would just stay and put up with it, I haven't been happy and I think I realised you can't make me happy anymore.
'I miss having you there yeah but this is for the best'
I do remember us but the us i loved was a long time ago. Ill always have love for you, but I haven't been happy for a good while and I don't think we can ever get the us that we once were back
I do think it is too late.
I can't do this anymore all together, I can't find happiness with you anymore.
We haven't been right for a long time and we've both just stayed and let it be what it is.
Here we go again. Round and round about us, we are done there is no point talking about any of it anymore.
