I Feel You In My Heart @alllthefeels - Tumblr Blog

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mesopelagic

hey girls lets get sillay

We Long To Be Free, But Not Outside Our Comfort Zones

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Gareth Egan

sixwordssayitall

“Years ago, you asked why I’m with you. I couldn’t formulate an answer on the spot, mostly because my brain was too busy sorting through the many reasons and could not settle on only one. Over the next few days or weeks - I don’t recall which - I made a list of some of the reasons I chose to be with you. Among them was the fact that you know how to handle me, and by handle me I mean you know what to say or do to keep me balanced. You have a way of leveling my head, bringing me back to the moment when I’ve gotten too angry and lifting me up when sadness has threatened to drown me. I have found the yin to my yang, and when chaos rains down upon us, you are my peace.”

— @sixwordssayitall

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our room in the afternoon.

closet-keys

My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.

I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”

He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral

And even though that was years and years ago, I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m reading discourse on the idea of getting so attached to mental illness as an identity that you don’t want to improve things because you feel safe in it and don’t know who you are without it

I always think of that line “I miss the comfort of being sad” and my brother’s warning