I opened my Google docs to look at some thing entirely different and found this draft.  I think I wrote it about a year into the pandemic.  I figured I might as well put it here.
It was inspired by the Perfume Genius song and it was moving toward smut but I never finished it. I miss writing fic.
Your Body Changes Everything.
Phil can feel Dan's eyes on him. He’s propped up on his elbow, no electronics to be found, just watching Phil. He does that sometimes, just stares while his mind drifts. Some people stargaze, Dan has Phil. This is different though because now his lips are on Phil’s shoulder, working their way so very slowly up toward his neck.
“What are you doing?” Phil asks, phone still in hand.
“Getting your mind off of it.”
“Whatever is making your brow pinch like that.”
He sets his phone aside and rests his head on Dan’s, reaching under his glasses to rub his eyes.
“Love,” Dan says, “tell me.” He slips his fingers under the waist of Phil’s pants and traces his hipbone absentmindedly.
Phil’s sigh is heavy and exhausted. He’s carried everything inside for weeks, unwilling to burden Dan in the midst of such a challenging time for him. He knows Dan won’t offer anything he isn’t ready to give though and he did ask. So Phil lets it all fall from his shoulders.
“I was just reading the reopening plan for London and it’s so confusing and convoluted.”
“I thought we agreed to never read the news alone,” Dan says.
“We did but I just wanted to make plans. I miss my mum, Dan, and Martyn and my dad. I miss everybody. I want to go to art openings and plays and ride in the expensive Ubers. I miss that bakery with the good cream puffs and the hot guy at the counter that always calls me sweetheart.” He lowers his voice, treading carefully. “And I’m scared you’re going to get really depressed stuck in here or at least sick of me. But I’m also scared everything is going to open too soon and more people will get sick and we'll go back to the start and then I won’t see my mum for ages.” He sucks in a shaky breath. “And I don’t know what to do with my live shows. Or my videos for that matter. I have no new ideas because I’m not fucking doing anything. But I have to post or I’ll just like, fade into obscurity and we’ll starve!”
Dan laughs a little, “okay, too long, didn’t read.”
Phil laughs back but it’s sad and small. “I’m sad and bored and scared.”
“Yeah.” Dan kisses his cheek. “I know bub.”
Imagine your own ending I guess 🖤
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