XXIX.XI.MMXIV.

Who would I be without sarcasm, anxiety, coffee, depression, overthinking and way too much love inside me? -for the most important people in my life, A&L.

[hwhwgwhnwnwbwbwg-deactivated202]

Lora Mathis

[eagans]

it comes and goes in waves

[inkpressedpetals]

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes you really gotta decide for yourself it's the last time the universe gonna teach you that same lesson

[actuallyanangel-deactivated2021]

the romanticism of undressing someone and seeing their curves and edges and birthmarks and scars and moles and freckles and kissing every single one of them

[cheshmenoor]

[inkpressedpetals]

[achillesinhighheels]

[achillesinhighheels]

[only-cat-memes]

[cricketcat9]

No. Actually I applaud everyone who finds a way to live their life to the fullest instead of suffering like us. Yesterday I've met a young Polish couple traveling around the world for 2 years. They were in Colombia and are now staying in my town until May ( "we need to rest and have a real kitchen for a while"), then going to Peru. Have to get together and find out more without yelling through a very loud music in the background.

My friends' son got a degree in Marine Biology, moved from Toronto to Vancouver, lives on a boat and and makes money building boats. Parents are going crazy because he does not have a " regular job". Both have regular well paid jobs which they hate.

Live your life to the fullest, kids, suffering is overrated!

[kosmogrl]

[anxietyproblem]

[expressions-of-nature]

by kyongood

[anxietyproblem]

[anxietyproblem]

[allthingsfallingapart]

Tell me why everything feels wrong. Our friendship ended 12 years ago. It feels like a lifetime, at the same time just like a few months. It scares me, how much time has passed and how heavy your loss still feels. Now, we're slowly finding our way back together and as happy as this makes me, I'm scared that I'm just on my way to loose you again. I'm always afraid. Because losing you, my best friend, at just 16, it broke me. Now I'm almost 28 and you're still the only friend I lost and still mourn. I knew from the start that you were special and I loved you to bits. Still do.

So much happens in 12 years and I still grieve the adventures we missed with each other. There was nothing I wanted more than to stay your best friend. Gosh, there's so much in my heart that I could never put down in words. You'll almost be my dearest friend and I'll always put you before myself. Even if it hurts when you describe someone as your 'best' friend', someone who isn't me. It'll never be me again. But I'm glad you found good friends, better than I was most of the time. I forgave you for the things you did a long time ago. You were 16 too, too stubborn, too hurt. But I don't think I can ever forgive myself for the things I did, even though I was just a dumb 16-year old myself.

Fuck all those "let them loose you" , "walk away with pride"... quotes. I tried almost half my life to forget you, to come to terms with how it ended.

I can't. There are things you can't get over for a lifetime. There are days before I know you, but I can't even remember them. I can't remember a life without you and I can't imagine a future where your loss doesn't hurt. I'm still grieving that it'll never be the same again and I think I'll always do.

But how amazing is it to know that I had a friendship so deep I still mourn it over a decade later?

I wish you knew how much you still mean to me. I don't think you'd care, not anymore. But I can imagine your eyes going soft, a little smile on your face and a tight hug from your younger self, if you knew back then.

I hope you live the best life you could ever imagine, even when my part in it got small. That's alright, because every minute I'm with you I'm grateful that you're still here. And I hope I get to stay this time, until the end.

Love you always, S.

[resqectable]

“The sharpest minds often ruin their lives by overthinking the next step, while the dull win the race with eyes closed.”

— Bethany Brookbank, Write like no one is reading