"Am I not allowed to have regrets?"

jowan rp blog selective and independent technically closed until 22/05/15

[allxwedregrets]

i forgot this blog existed for a while. *facepalms very hard*

i'm here i'm queer and neither single nor ready to mingle but if you want a thing there's a red heart you can press in the corner

[allxwedregrets]

*creates self promo, disappears* Nice. But seriously life got a little awkward for a few days, hence the absence. I'll try to prioritise Jowan tomorrow. If you want a thing like/hmu?

[allxwedregrets]

"Ambiguous rubbish, it could mean anything. I can do it too: 'The sun grows dark, but lo!                                     Here comes the dawn!'"

[thefereldenideal-blog-blog]

Loghain knows what he was almost called. His eyes flick over the man’s body, and he grunts with recognition. “We’ve met,” he said. “A long time ago. I hope…” You can forgive me, he wanted to say, for letting my own madness infect you. “That you have been well since then.”

[allxwedregrets]

❝We did - a long time ago,❞ Jowan agreed, some-    what reluctantly. ❝During the Blight.❞

   He held his hand out, almost an after-thought,    but not for a show of disrespect, but rather just    plain nervousness. Even if Loghain didn't seem    like he was going to be any trouble at all.

❝I'm Jowan - if you don't remember,❞ he added help-    fully. ❝I've been fine - I've been working as a    healer.❞

[mcntiroso-blog]

He was friendly. Most of the time. 

But right now he was busy studying the man. His stature, the way he generally carried himself and how he stood. All to keep in the back of his mind– another face he should keep watch for until further notice. “Yeah, born and raised. Formerly.”

[allxwedregrets]

❝Formerly?❞

   Jowan watched the Qunari, and felt his heavy    gaze draw goosebumps on his arm. It was uncomfortable    to say the least. He hoped that the Qunari wouldn't    see who - or rather, what - he was. A blood mage.    He'd heard stories of how the Qunari treated their    normal mages, and it wasn't pleasant. He didn't    want to know how they treated their malificar.

❝What - what do I call you?❞

[allxwedregrets]

❝You’re near Haven, in my camp.     I’m - I’m Levyn. I’m a healer. ❞

[magixsomnia-deactivated20150701]

“Haven? I have not heard of it…Where is Skyhold? Where is Arlathan?” 

[allxwedregrets]

❝Skyold? It's not far away- I was on my way    there myself, actually - wait, Arlathan?❞

[aithreachas-a]

Brows raise and for a moment Atreus simply regards the young man with a curious gaze. It was not the first time someone had simply started a conversation with him like that. Many of the mages looked upon his tabard—the golden threads of the flaming sword embroidered on it glinting in the light softly—marking him for what he was.

A Templar.

“Aye that would be correct youngling.” He murmured with a soft tip of his head in acknowledgement of the words.

Atreus was no fool, he could see the nervous behaviour, and yet, for now at least, he let it slide. Skyhold was filled with many mages, each as nervous as the next of him. He didn’t blame them.

“Is there anything I can help you with?”

[allxwedregrets]

   Well, the Templar wasn't mention-    ing his frankly jumpy behaviour -    that was good, right?

❝No, I - I was just trying to get    aquainted with Skyhold. It's    bigger than I thought it'd be. ❞

   Jowan gave the Templar a small    flash of a nervous grin. It    really was a little awkward for    him to figure out his way around.    Sometimes he used to get lost in    Kinloch, and he'd been there since    he was six. Someone should really    draw him a map.

❝I didn't mean to disturb you- I'll go,    if I'm in the way.❞

[allxwedregrets]

bull-de-hierro

❝...You're big... you're Qunari, right?❞

Jowan remembers the qunari Amell was leading around when she came to Redcliffe, and thinks, even he was small compared to this man. He then prays to Andraste that this qunari is friendly.

[allxwedregrets]

headcanon 1#

Jowan used to hate his sleeves - he’d constantly push them up to his elbows, out of the way whilst working, his lower forearms bared. Then, when he started to dabble in blood magic, he stopped, leaving them hanging - and gained instead a new nervous habit. Now, whenever he feels nervous and vulnerable, he tugs his sleeves down instead. 

This new habit was probably what tipped off the Templars about his new studies - noticing Jowan hiding his arms instead of showing them.

[allxwedregrets]

thefereldenideal

❝... Ter- Loghain?❞

Jowan almost calls him Teryn Loghain, barely correcting himself in time, tugging his sleeves down against his wrists nervously at the mistake. He wonders if Loghain recognises him from his judge- ment in Denerim - and hopes the answer is no.

[allxwedregrets]

manymanyservices

❝...Do you need a healer? ❞

A skirmish between mages and Templars, and the first person the surviving rebels call out is Jowan - no, Levyn, as he's known here. It's a simple question, posed to the next person he comes across as he passes from person to person to help - which so happens to be the Inquisitor (even if Jowan doesn't immediately recognise him as such).

[allxwedregrets]

swordandboardmage

❝...I feel like I know you from somewhere.❞

Perhaps it's not the best thing to open with - perhaps it borders on creepy - but Jowan's certain. He's not the best with faces, but this one is definitely registering in his brain as familiar.

[allxwedregrets]

judexcrederis

❝You're a Templar-❞

In a rush of panic, Jowan apparently believes the best thing to do is state the obvious - and following that, tugging firmly on his sleeves, down, so they hang level with his thumb. It gives him the appearance that his robes are a size or two too big, but on the other hand, it's better than the Templar seeing his scars and coming to the (correct) conclusions about his favored magic school.

❝I mean - hello, Ser.❞

He feels rather like he ought to just write “malificar” on his forehead with blood- it would be no more obvious than he feels like he’s being now.

[magixsomnia-deactivated20150701]

allxwedregrets 

“Where am…I?” 

[allxwedregrets]

❝You're near Haven, in my camp.     I'm - I'm Levyn. I'm a healer. ❞