Meredith kept on sniffing. Her heart was racing in her chest. She was not even sure if she was or angry or both. She was mostly just angry that her stupid leg had not healed. She was angry that she had crashed that stupid motor cycle. She was angry that she had gone out during the storm. She was sad that she had had the bad luck that her spine was broken. She was sad that her life had changed completely. If she had been a bookworm it would have been less bad, right? But she wasn’t a bookworm. She was an athlete. “Thanks…” She managed to blurt out when she accepted the tissues. Not that they would help. She was crying too many tears for anything to help. “I had hoped that I could come back. I had hoped that my leg would heal. I thought that I had a spot in the team and that it was mine. But it takes too long. That stupid leg ruins everything!”
She knew she was not reasonable now. She was thinking things she didn’t want to think and she was saying things she didn’t want to say, but she couldn’t help it. It felt like her leg was not her leg anymore. It wasn’t the leg anymore that had carried her through miles of running, that had pushed her through loads of water, that had kicked the ball more often than she could probably count. It was nothing but a useless part of her body that she should get rid of. She had already looked into that. The problem was that she wouldn’t be able to do anything with a prosthesis either. That problem in her back would still be a stupid problem. “I don’t know anymore…” Meredith shrugged her shoulders.
She didn’t want to give up. She didn’t want to be like this. She didn’t want to turn into a sad mess with a leg that didn’t work. She wanted to be brave. She wanted to live. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to do everything people thought she couldn’t do anymore. But right now that seemed so much further away than anything else in the world. “It’s not just that!” Meredith shook her head. “I was GOOD at this. My parents paid an awful lot of money to make me do all of this. I never had to have a job. I could sport whenever I wanted.” She licked her lips, although the salty taste made it less pleasant. “I’m an athlete. That’s what I am, what I was, what I want to be.” She didn’t want to be the girl in the wheelchair with no childhood dreams left anymore. “And it was not just an accident. It was raining. I wanted to ride that motor cycle and I crashed it. No one else did. I did.” She swallowed and she tensed all her muscles, clenching her jaw and fists. “That’s the worst thing. I can only be angry with me!” She pointed at herself and furiously she wiped some tears away. Not that it helped much.
Meredith took a few deep breaths though and strangely enough all of a sudden she felt calmer. It was as if the hands on her shoulders were warm. It was as if the calm spread through her veins, even though it didn’t come from herself. Her anger subsided. Her sadness subsided. She could feel her heart slowing down and she felt less out of breath. She frowned her eyebrows and stared at Alma’s hands. “Are you doing that?”
Meredith opened up to her about everything that was going through her mind after seeing that poster for the soccer team. But most importantly, the girl was opening up about what was going through her heart. Alma didn’t interrupt a single time, she let the girl speak and let it all out because she understood that this was exactly what she needed to attain some catharsis. All the young woman did was keep her hand on the girl’s shoulder in a comforting manner, being genuinely empathetic about her situation. Alma was good at this sort of thing because she truly cared about the people she listened, part of her heart really did go out to those who needed a bit of comfort and reassurance.
It wasn’t all just frustration and anger and sadness, the Empath could detect the guilt in there too. Judging by Meredith’s words and the emotions she could perceive in her, the girl felt some guilt that was tightly joined with the anger she felt towards herself for being the sole responsible of her accident. That was quite a lot to take in, especially since Alma hadn’t really known much details about the event until now. Of course she didn’t judge her. It wasn’t her place to do so and besides, she was too empathetic to actually be capable of passing judgment of any kind.
Meredith’s deep and calmer breaths were enough evidence for her to know her power was doing its work on the girl and that some serenity was beginning to nestle in her amidst the emotional chaos. The question threw her off completely and visibly too, her eyes had widened a little and her lips parted without a single explanation leaving them. “I uh-” she began, hesitating with the sort of answer she should give. That had been very perceptive of Meredith, to notice a foreign emotion take root in her. Very few people ever took notice of that. “Yes, I am” Alma took a bet on telling the truth, as risky as that could be, wishing this wouldn’t backfire eventually. “I just wanted to help you in some way, Meredith. Give you a chance to feel a little serenity, even if for a moment”.
