The Adventure

Let me take you to a place you've never been and only a few people see, let me take you inside of me.

[almostpoeticworld]

Do you understand?

Why can’t you understand that when you leave all I have is the memories of the nights we had and a promise that you will come back?

What will it take to show you my love’s not fake? I still wonder if I’m too late. Have you given up on love the last time that you played?

Is it just me or do you think that I’m naive, for the sheer fact I give my love like I’m not afraid to bleed?

Are you amused or just confused, how someone like me could possibly love someone like you?

Do you ever think I have low self-esteem too and the only one that’s helping me through is you?

[almostpoeticworld]

One Day

One day you will finally care. You will see what I’ve known from the start. You will know the potential and become aware of all the emotions in your heart.

One day you will finally see all the love I have and how much it hurt me to never receive it back.

One day when the fairytale ends and the reality starts to show. One day when the world begins and we’re no longer on our own.

One day we’ll see the scheme of every moment that was planned.

One day hopefully soon you can finally understand.

That one day may be too late, but I’m still holding out hope, that one day you can open up and finally feel at home.

[almostpoeticworld]

Alcoholic Spiel

This whiskey that’s running through my brain may make me clinically insane, but I don’t know how to get these words out without it

This alcoholic spiel is truthful and real, just so you know you should never doubt it

The margarita hit me like a freight train the impact was blinding I don’t even remember my name

The high end tequila was on sale I had a one hundred and fifty proof cocktail

I thought I knew my limits but when you’re here I’m limitless. I know no bounds.

I’m zooming down the freeway hitting a hundred and ten with no one getting in my way because I have the siren, this is my chase.

The chaser I choose I want it to be you, but I can’t say, so I keep playing the same game.

Alcohol chased with more alcohol only blurs my vision which blurs my decision and leaves me wishing you were the one making me hot and bothered, but I’ll settle for the vodka because I’m too scared to play out my fantasy of your hands grasping me, like I was your dessert, like I was the beer you’re pressing to your lips at the end of a long hard day from work and I can get deeper and deeper into this but I’m afraid I don’t have the self control. I won’t be able to hold myself back and I’m not sure where your head is at, but I know where I want to go.

[almostpoeticworld]

Fragile

When you have someone’s heart in your hands, don’t drop it

Fore you never know the damage you’ll cause,

You should always treat everyone’s heart like a fragile package

And know if you crack one you might ruin them all.

Whether porcelain or glass, all it takes is a scratch to weaken the structure you never thought would crumble.

So if you ever figure out that two hearts don’t match lay them down gently and walk away from it humbled.

Never throw it away like it doesn’t matter

Because If it shatters or falls apart they will never be comfortable with who they truly are.

And tell me how can you mend a broken heart when you’re dying on the inside because your world fell apart.

[almostpoeticworld]

Drifting with the Waves

This dreamer refuses to keep dreaming alone, with these troubled waters and nowhere to call home.

Lost in the vastness of the open sea, trying to find my paradise wherever that may be.

I’m asking for a beacon of hope, a lighthouse in these trying times.

A place I am destined to be, with anything I can truly call mine.

I’m begging on my hands and knees for a morsel of solid ground or anything that can sustain me because I’m trying so hard not to drown.

You see my vessel has been damaged and the boat is in rough shape, I lost my paddles miles ago and now I’m drifting with the waves

so if anybody’s out there just give out a yell. I need to know if I’m truly alone going through this hell.

[almostpoeticworld]

Never Grew Up

You were younger than me, but not by much.

You were always so sure we’d stay friends when we grew up.

You used to tell me stories about crazy adventures.

We would travel the world and go on treasure hunts together.

You were so sure and I let you believe and it gave me hope you would never leave.

To see your eyes light up as you talked, your imagination never squandered.

You were so convinced we’d backpack through Europe and see the seven wonders.

The world in your eyes was a reach away all you had to do was grab.

My world was always just inches from my face because my world was in your hands.

We would stay up all night just to say we did, never wanting to leave each other’s side

It’s like while you believed we’d always stay friends, God knew we didn’t have much time.

You were my best friend for what seems like a lifetime ago.

I was your confidant and together we felt like home.

A brother and sister pair I never wanted to lose.

Which is also why I never went for you, but...

I moved away and we lost touch, although I still think about your stories and wish...

we never grew up.

[almostpoeticworld]

The only thing I know

I didn’t just learn how to love you.

So I can’t just forget.

I actually knew how to love you, like a computer I was programmed with it.

And you can try erasing the data, but it’s encrypted and only God has the codes.

You can try burning it out with a virus, maybe that will corrupt the file for sure,

But I’ve tried with jack and coke. It just didn’t last as long as I hoped,

So maybe it will take a computer genius or someone who has an in with God to tear this love I have for you out of my motherboard, the place where all your memories are stored.

Then again maybe all it will take is you, so I can do the only thing I was programmed for.

The only thing I know how to do, which is

...love you.

[almostpoeticworld]

You’re the expert

What do you want me to do?

Wear my heart on my sleeves?

Do you want to know when something is really wrong with me?

Do I need to parade around like you? Get drunk, kiss every guy, and make everyone think I’m loose?

Do I need to call you and tell you don’t leave because I feel you slipping away from me?

Apparently I’m hard to talk to because there are things you won’t say, so do I need to bottle up or do you want me to break?

Am I being difficult now?

Do I remind you of you?

Tell me please, what should I do?

[almostpoeticworld]

SILENCE

When friends tell you how shy and quiet you are is creepy.

It’s like you’re holding onto a secret you want no one to know.

A bit too ominous and it’s not mysterious it makes me want to call the cops or at the least run away.

It makes no one around you want to stay.

I’m sorry for my creepy silence, but I’m afraid of being like my father so much I’m too scared to be liked.

I’m afraid I’ll get so comfortable that I think it’s okay to be angry at you. That eventually I lash out and hurt you in some way.

I have always felt like the protector and I’m sorry it still shows. I’m sorry I’m hard for you to get to know.

The boy you like said you’re silence is hard to be around.

I’m sorry I think they are all like my father and at any minute they are gonna pounce.

I made a mistake once I thought father was having a good day. I thought we had gotten past the phase where he will hurt me just because he’s mad and not at me but whatever happened to him that week.

He twisted my arm and I didn’t let them know they just thought he was hugging me so I had to put on a show, but I’m not saying it’s his fault that I’m the way I am.

It’s my fault because I care, but if I didn’t care I’d be just like him. So I don’t know whether to be proud of myself or change my ways because my silence is deafening, but there are things it doesn’t say.

[almostpoeticworld]

What Home Should’ve Been

I figured out where my home is.

It’s in a safe and secure hug.

In arms that feel like heaven. Making it impossible to wake up.

It’s a snuggle on the couch, next to the fire.

It’s arms wrapped around each other all night.

It’s when I lose my way, that touch is my guiding light.

It’s my very own paradise.

When everyday of your life you’ve been shown a firm hand, maybe the passion behind a soft, gentle, warm, and nice embrace is all that my mind will understand of what it means when you are loved and what home should’ve always been.

[almostpoeticworld]

BLM

To the little kid who flinches every time they hear sirens because they can hear the wails of their mother as she buries their father or their brother. I’m sorry it had to come to this. I’m sorry it has taken so long to figure out where the real threat lives.

To the teenagers who feel it’s easier to pick up a gun than pick up a pen because there is no way you can protect your family from this madness from behind a desk. There should be no reason for you to feel like that. As if your backs against the wall and there’s only one decision, but this is the reality that you live in. Either go to school or go to jail, live off scraps or feed yourself, make the money to help your mom because leaving her behind just feels so wrong. You see her struggle and always manage, to get out of her hell with so little damage, but you realize how much she’s given up for you, to make sure you had clothes, food, and a roof. Things that mean so little to those who don’t have to struggle to survive. So you vow to never leave her side.

To the grown folks who always say I want more for my children than I ever wanted for me. You want them to get out of this and survive. No parent should ever feel like every day is a miracle for their kid to be alive not because they are suffering from a serious illness but because of the fact they can’t change what their skin is.

So tell me where do we go from here? How do we rid this fear? ...This anger... when will it stop? When will the world just give up?

[almostpoeticworld]

Home

I wanna go home I tell her and she doesn't understand.

I want to go home, I say it once again.

I Want To Go Home and this time I demand.

She looks at me like I'm crazy because at home is where we stand.

She says this is our home, this is where we live, this is where you eat, where you sleep, where you get to be my kid.

I say this place is full of pain and I can't live like this, that's where you and dad always argue, where he kicks you when you're down, that's where he choked out brother, that's where he pinned me to the ground, that's where he punched the wall barely inches from my face, that's where he apologizes thinking that makes it ok.

This place isn't home because a home is where you're safe, where you can go to sleep and know tomorrow you will wake.

Where I can be myself and not have to muffle every cry because he doesn't like the fact that I get nightmares every night.

A home is built to keep the monsters out, so mom why do I have to live with one inside this house?

I want to go home I say and this time she understands as she stares at my eyes water I know she comprehends because she looks at me and says ok we'll try leaving once again.

-CAB

[almostpoeticworld]

Would You?

Would you try to heal your cut with the knife that did you harm?

Would you try to fix your window with the rock that came through?

Would you try to clean your floor with the dirt on your shoes?

Would you try to heal your pain with the same thing that caused your wound?

Would you try to fix what’s broken with the same thing that made it break?

Would you try to clean a mess with whatever made it messy in the first place?

If your answer to these questions are no, then why would you do it with your heart?

Knowing they are the reason you always fall apart.

-CAB

[almostpoeticworld]

Preference

Quicksands or Merry-go-rounds?

Spin in a circle or slowly drown?

Get knocked off balance and fall to your knees or never know what it feels like to reach your dreams?

Being stuck or moving so fast you don't even realize you've been down this path?

Be up one minute and down the next or knowing it's only gonna get worse from this?

And when loved ones come and try to help do you pull them in the same situation as yourself or do you send them on this loop where they think you actually turned your life around and all of a sudden you're back on the ride going through the same situations as last time?

So quicksands or merry-go-rounds?

Spin in a circle or slowly drown?

-CAB

[almostpoeticworld]

The Journey

It starts

Dark and cold

Embark alone

On broken roads

That plays a part, like solid gold, invades the heart

Exercising these demons is the way to start

Trying to elude the day the devil left his mark

This masquerade made us pay, alone and scared

Only to end up like those with broken hearts

Think you’re alone when you know it’s not true

Got people in your life who want to criticize you

Make you think you’re as fake as the day Barbie’s were made

Well baby plastic is worth more than gold these days

So all I can say

May you light the way

-CAB

[almostpoeticworld]

Stature

You are my Mona Lisa, my rare beauty I can only see a picture of

Never to touch, never to hold, just to linger in the lust in which I loathe

For such a rarity should never go unloved when I have so much to give to thee, yet having to settle for the fact, I'm not worthy enough because my stature isn't what it's meant to be

But just because you have royal blood does not make you royalty and just because you look the part does not make you any more royal than me

Because we can be the same if our flames burn just as deep, if you can be my Edgar Allan Poe, then I can be your Annabel Lee

-CAB

[almostpoeticworld]

Alone

I was alone last night, like most nights. No one close enough to touch

And I don't know why it matters, but apparently it does.

Because I dreamt two dreams about how alone I was.

I was alone last night, it's true. I have people around me pushing me through,

But they are like strangers you meet in the amusement park lines, coaxing you through saying it's gonna be alright and getting you hyped

For something you're about to go through, alone and for the very first time with no one actually there by your side.

I was alone last night and I didn't want to be as I recognized my own family wasn't there for me.

I felt so lost and alone, but do you think they looked for me?

I was confused as I confronted them mentally. I said I was there this whole time and you couldn't check on me?

I would've answered if you called for me. If you asked me what is wrong I would've said everything, but you got mad at me because I wasn't where you wanted me to be emotionally.

I am hurt and betrayed and hopefully you understand. I never wanted to leave but you left me before I had the chance to say a thing

And for once in my life I hate that. I hate that I couldn't talk, that I couldn't scream, that I couldn't say how lonely I felt because I thought it meant

...I was weak.

-CAB