Alohattan

[alohattan]

Would it be wrong, if I say I wanted an unethical and toxic fic between Safia, Gideon and Phyre

Like a AU fic where Gideon and Safia are fiancés after a century of dating but then Safia meets Phyre (the AU is just Gideon being alive and Safia not being rabid)

Imagine the excitement you get from a new crush, something like that. So the new feeling has Safia hooked (not to mention she’s READ about the nomad, she’s their biggest fangirl)

So Safia is unintentionally chasing this feeling with Phyre. At first she justifies it, makes excuses, is in denial

Then she just accepts this but is like, “Gideon is still my lover. They’re just a momentary fling.”

But it’s so intense that she’s basically (nah, literally) cheating on Gideon with Phyre. First it’s emotional only, then it inevitably turns physical

Though it’s only just a few kisses here and then (having a hard time imagining Safia going past that without crumbling into dust out of sheer guilt with Gideon alive and well)

Safia loves Gideon, she truly does. He’s such a deeply comforting presence in her unlife. But Phyre is this new, intoxicating and fiery romance (see what I did there) she can’t help but keep going back to

The forbidden nature of their relationship is also… part of the appeal

Bonus points if (when) Gideon finds out, he’s just chill about it and is just wondering why Safia did not just tell him outright

It’s only toxic and problematic when Gideon doesn’t know about it tho. I was initially just curious about how the characters would act in this scenario

What Safia would feel, how Phyre would handle being the side piece or whatever

But it’d definitely be funny if the whole fic is incredibly angsty, slightly romantic (cuz pining! ‘Oh no we can’t! can we?’ 👀)and lots! LOTS of guilt only for the last line to be like

Gideon: “Oh dear, why didn’t you just tell me and save yourself all this torment? Go get that elderussy” </3

[alohattan]

Saphyre but boring (or mundane?)

We all heard “In another life, I would’ve liked to do laundry and taxes with you” but what if they actually do?

Scenario 1: Phyre and Safia butting heads over the dumbest of things

Safia and Phyre taking the metro. Phyre doesn’t like commuting at all, but Safia insisted. So naturally, some of their hatred over the ride gets redirected towards her as small snips here and there. they only get more antsy when they get off on unfamiliar area of the city

Safia had business there tho. And when returning Safia suggested changing to a different train, she planned this little date for the way home, but Phyre couldn’t see the reason to change to a different platform altogether when they could just board the train back the same route. It’ll take them straight back home

But Safia really wanted visit a botanical garden with Phyre and its location is closer from that particular station. Would they ever commute back all the way here again? Likely not with how Phyre took the whole trip

So Safia probably just missed the only chance to go to a place that she REALLY wanted to, with her love. And Phyre doesn’t take it as seriously, something along the lines of “That’s unfortunate. Let’s visit next time.”

But there is NO next time. Safia knows it! She does. She does! So Safia just pouts all throughout the train ride home. Maybe holds a tiny grudge cuz it’s such a wasted opportunity, she just can’t seem to let it go

Scenario 2: Safia had been too busy. After several weeks worth of failed plans, Phyre FINALLY manages to set up a date. Dinner at a fancy restaurant! But Phyre had gotten all dressed up for it. Can’t say the same for their lover

Safia is anxiously darting around the apartment. The reminders of being late from Phyre were not helping with her panic. It’s her keys! Where had- she KNOWS she left them right here last night for sure

Meanwhile Phyre is getting increasingly irritated. The reservation… Phyre offers to help look for the keys but Safia refuses. In her defense, she just needed to think. Safia’s sure she’d find the keys if only Phyre stopped nagging her.

contents inside the decorative porcelain holder gets dumped on top of the cabinet, no keys. Nimble fingers hooking into and open draws, nothing. The wooden key holder held every key but the ones Safia’s looking for. Maybe somewhere in the bedroom-

Phyre finally runs out of patience. They march up to the middle of the living room where Safia’s floundering. They check the mug on top of the coffee table, turn, run their fingers along the inside of the couch cushions

Ah

Safia didn’t even get to register the sound of the keys jingle. Phyre yanks them out, lifts Safia’s hand palm up, places the keys there and walks past her with palpable anger

Safia looks at the clock and oh, they’d missed their reservation window completely

[alohattan]

Hi yall

God forbid Lou actually be Safia’s child lmfaooo

[alohattan]

I’m so sorry I haven’t been posting lately! I finished a HUGE assessment today! I swear there’s this meme I wanted to post but I just couldn’t find the time

Also, I been wondering while working on my stuff, does every Kindred die if you pump them with enough lead?

Afaik, Kindred have three specific way to meet their final death; burning in fire, the sun or getting their head detached from their body. But in the first game, the fledgling dies either to melee hits or bullets.

But they’re a fledgling

What about an Elder? I’ve learned from ppl that Phyre isn’t like a “typical” Elder. At least playable Phyre isn’t. In terms of power that is. Elders are apparently op enough to no diff any Kindred they come across (unless they’re closer in generation or of the same age or diablerized someone old I think idk)

But it’s fine, Phyre is nerfed by the mark- if Safia could accomplish that, then why couldn’t she do sum about Gideon’s body? Yea it’s broken “no craft of mine could save him” and all but, really. is binding an Elder and starting a cult easier than working with what you have, Safia? 😭

Anyway, Phyre is nerfed but they can be downed if they get hit enough times. So are they just in Torpor? That seems to be the answer cuz dying to a bunch of thin-bloods and ghouls would be a tad embarrassing (it’d be cool if Phyre’s death had a special animation like somebody dealing a proper blow instead of just falling over yk)

Is it even possible to rip an Elder’s head off?

Vaguely still on topic but, I wonder why we could have a bit of gorey executions with the normal ads but never for boss fights? Rebar kills have gore too but nothing in game cutscenes?

Benny doesn’t die by Phyre’s hand. Not directly.

Ysabella gets her neck snapped offscreen (or is her head ripped off? It seemed like just her neck was snapped. If so, the snapped neck constitutes as beheading??)

Willem blows up (loved to see all the grisly details)

And Safia gets drained. We actually see it but doesn’t count as gore tbh

NO Lou getting her ass handed to her smh. Her voicelines during the boss fight would’ve been mad funny

It would’ve been cooler to actually see the boss deaths unless they have different rules for what they can show in cutscenes vs the normal gameplay animations. Something that has to do with ratings perhaps?

Or maybe it’s just harder to animate

[alohattan]

speaking of, I feel like Fabien and Ryong would be wonderful with kids even if one of em's unsure about it. Ryong SWEARING that she's horrible with kids only to make an fussy infant laugh is something I randomly dreamt of (probably influence by my baby cousin?). I get very strange and non-sensical dreams ngl Meanwhile Safia would be shit and she'd be stressing to do the objectively right thing just to keep up her harmless act. she would choose the good option don't get it twisted, it'd just be very methodical instead of the natural instinct, y'know? Can't be she *hates* kids, she's just very awkward around energetic balls of innocence which are children Kids can be also bluntly honest which might keep Safia on edge or sum idk Phyre would just scare them off even if they don't mean to

[alohattan]

Ten People You'd Like to Get to Know Better Game

Last Song: Je T’aime [nightcore version] it’s the Kelly Sweet one (this is so random yall gon laugh at me lmao🧍‍♀️)

Currently Watching: Nothing actually. I have a lot to do and exams haven’t passed yet. I’ll prob rewatch the Last of Us S1 and the Walking Dead

Current Obsession: Vtmb2. Only got into vtm cuz of vtmb2 aguhdjdhs Safia, Safia, Safia. And the lore of wod is all so fun and creative? How did a whole ip pass under my nose?? Also itching to replay the resident evil games IF only my laptop would get out of its sickbed. Need to finish Lies of P and start another Bloodborne (my beloved) playthrough

Currently reading: Nothing at the moment but I reread “My Feelings Can Wait” instead of sleeping a while back, i’ll glaze tf outta this novel it’s so good and mature (like feelings and love ‘n loss type way, not like that) and it’s just AUGHHH. Safia would LOVE A’Xiu fr. if yall need some Baihe novel recs PLEASE I’d love to 🙏

Currently Working On: Boring answer would be studying but- Oooh, I actually learnt to ride motorcycles last month. Am in the process of getting used to the roads, alone with no one tailing me. And honestly, residential streets scare me more than highways. Ppl really be doing sharp turns in their HUGE trucks and cars right into me- why so close? they freak me out. No honks at a blindturn? Am I supposed to see them with my third eye? So unpredictable. Like why are they tryna be all agile as if they’re rocking a scooter or sum. My uncle said to watch the front wheels but nothings clocking to me when I’m actually on the road.

Last Google Search: “are wisdom teeth generally annoying?” they pmo so bad just let me close my jaw properly?? Damn. My dentist said mine are all growing into their proper alignments so I won’t be needing anything but it’s so annoying on the gums. painful too. Also also, recently found out that “Ppl who were born blind don’t develop schizophrenia” claim has been debunked. And to think for so long I thought I had a fun lil fact to impress ppl with 😔

THANK YOU for giving me an excuse to yap, @godbender ! cheers to the grumpy talking cat

Also some-lasombra-bullshit susurrusilously ansersart amberkendslacy if you guys see this and would like do it, then I TAG you! But if you think this ain’t tuff then I didn’t tag yall

[alohattan]

*Silent post*

[alohattan]

I'm a sucker for rabid fangirl Safia

sis would've had gaga's paparazzi on loop

[alohattan]

Being a Vampire aside, which of the main vtmb2 cast could likely be afraid of bugs do you guys think?

I just wanna know something

Do yall think Phyre ever finds out Safia’s afraid of bugs (or maybe only certain ones) and purposely finds it while roaming the city just to chase her around the lab while holding it (affectionate)

Like something they’d do if they’re having a bad night and it amuses them how Safia reacts.

Or maybe they just want to see Safia all serious and stern which only comes out when she demands them not to bring that thing anywhere near her

Or maybe Lou finding out and then purposely using it someway to get under Safia’s skin

[alohattan]

Vtmb2 characters and the crude metaphors that might fit them. I’m sorry guys, I’m immature and think these are hilarious so imma make a list

Ryong Choi - “I’d rather shit in my hands and then clap.” (Bbg probably uses it nightly, being the only reasonable ventrue and all)

Benny Muldoon - “I’d rather drag my ballsack through broken glass.” (He’d put emphasis on it just to be extra sassy)

Fabien Laguna - “I don’t know, guys. I’m just throwing poop at the wall and hoping it sticks.” (How much yall wanna bet he does a lil “heh” at the end to add a bit of razzle dazzle. I feel like he would censor the profanity but doesn’t gaf if his replacements sound silly)

Safia Ulusoy - “Can’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.” (Snarky. when the court gives her an impossible task maybe? they just assume she’d deliver, don’t stop to think if it’s feasible, all cuz that’s just what’s she’s been doing for years. though she canonically doesn’t cuss much, i still think miss well-spoken intellectual here could come up with some heinously creative ones if she wanted to or if she’s angry enough)

Michael “Tolly” Tolliver - “This is cornier than a farmer’s shit.” (i can imagine him shutting down Phyre’s every suggestion pertaining to the sabbat and his retorts are basically “cringe” “nuh-uh”)

Phyre, The Nomad - “About as helpful as tits in a bull.” (They probably have loads of old gems loaded at the ready but don’t think it’s worth it to put an effort into being witty for a bunch of fetuses)

Bonus: Fabien Laguna - “I’m seasoning a turd and praying it tastes gourmet.” (I can just imagine him with a smug little smile or doing an eyebrow wiggle everytime he drops something like this)

Cmon guy, he’s trying his best AND he’s family friendly 🥺🫶

[alohattan]

I’m so glad vtmb2 is popular enough to have fanfics in Ao3. Sometimes it’s devastating whenever I run to the site after consuming certain media only to find no tags in Ao3

Thank god vtmb2 has a fandom, THANK GOD. Cuz how else would I come across literary masterpieces like this?

[alohattan]

the Salubri are cool! The clan stereotype is 'healers', might be more accurate to describe them as the Clan of the Moral OCD (TM), there's something about their blood being like addictively compelling to other vampires so they were essentially hunted to extinction, there's a lot of compulsive self-sacrifice, also a smear campaign by the Pyramid on account of that time Tremere uh [checks notes] ate. their guy. just like diablerized their founder. big resulting propaganda fight. whole thing.

I was wondering if Vtm has the token good guys clan and so far nobody matched (as far as I knew). But Salubri fits! I’m sure there’s definitely nuance than just “the goody two shoes” but YAY! I’m glad there is! This is so perfect, ever since I got into vtm I’ve been looking exactly for this!

Kindness and compassion LETS GOOOO Actual humanity, y’know? Like why does everyone automatically turn on humans the very moment they get embraced. Bro, you were human literally yesterday

I guess there’s lore reasons for it, curse and all that. But come onnnn it’s not like embrace is something you control either, just because you're lucky enough to turn into a undying monster doesn’t mean you have to be an asshat to every livingbeing. Don't forget your roots, king/queen/monarch

Why can’t we all just be happy and have tea party or sum 😔

[casuallycryptidcider]

Found this website that recommends you a clan to plan based on a personality test (or “blood test” as they call it)

[crownedinmarigolds]

I know what I am....

[some-lasombra-bullshit]

The barnum machine has given me the result I like and therefore I find it good.

[alohattan]

I swear I watched the whole ‘all Vtm clans explained’ video. So what is THIS? 💀

I fell off 🥀

Did I forget? I’ve failed. I did not do my homework now I’m a certified larper

[alohattan]

Low quality meme. my favorites to put together 😋

Real talk I can’t believe I was actually devastated when I saw her death during my first playthrough even tho I was expecting it (the conservatory one)

Like why was there actual dread when Phyre followed her blood as if I’m witnessing a loved one’s untimely demise

[alohattan]

Laptop's on it's last legs, I gotta replace the battery lol. Posting even less cuz of it smh

Clearly it's a dark week for the fandom, I know yall be missing me baaad (i'm delusional)

[alohattan]

Tremere logic 💔

Jeez, Phyre. It was for sci-ence. Clearly, as sheriff and lead researcher we have some duties to uphold 🥴🫴

[alohattan]

Gideon and Phyre

I saw a post on reddit talking about how Safia played them completely, pleased to see Safia appreciation posts even if they’re basically “You treacherous snake, I liked you!”

One of the comments shared the sentiment and they sorta dissed Gideon - “What do you mean she’s in love with that bald underground troll?!”

That was so fucking funny to me even it caught me off guard.

It got me thinking, why would you hate Gideon? I know that comment was a joke but humour me, you can’t even hate him for fun because the game doesn’t give you enough time to form an opinion on him anyway.

At least that’s what I think, personally.

He appears in two or three flashbacks for Fabien, we only ‘meet’ him once as Phyre and by then, it’s not even “Gideon” anymore. The flashbacks segments show him to be a nice guy, he seems very mellow to warrant any sort of reaction from players (take Nix for example, she has even fewer screentime but her personality is prominent enough that you can feasibly form an opinion on her)

The Gardner is annoying at best, doesn’t really have the meat to hate him in a satisfying manner, if that makes sense? (Except for that “I’m leaky” line. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Please don’t say that again)

Good examples would be Lou, Benny, Ysabella and Safia who people can form negative opinions on and it would make sense, like you can understand where someone is coming from regardless of the characters’ screetime.

Not saying Gideon is unhateble, you obviously can. I just meant it in the sense that it’s pretty hard for it to be rooted in the lore or his personality. So in that context, the motive here (the comment) would be envy (duh, sry I’m overanalyzing it lol)

And I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of this before but it was RIGHT THERE.

Phyre hating Gideon. No rhyme or reason, they’ve only seen him through Fabien’s memories (in a positive light no less) and when they do meet him, they don’t even know it’s him. You could say Phyre hates Gideon because of the Sabbat corruption. Yes, that’s what they want you to believe. That’s how they justify their hate.

But the real reason is petty. jealousy.

If you guys wanna make a horrible personality for Phyre, then have I got something for you.

It’s not even like Phyre liked Safia. They loved turning their nose up at her, letting her fawn over them just to turn around and humiliate her later. What was she if not but an insignificant little usurper trying to curry flavour with a powerful Elder such as themself?

Then the truth is revealed and Phyre CANNOT stomach that Safia did all this for Gideon. Gideon? That she loves him? Excuse her?

*scoff* Does she even know how powerful, cunning, and most of all… ravishing Phyre is? They are a Legend, dammit! Dubbed death themself! And she dares—!

Thus Phyre develops a hatred so visceral towards Gideon that it’s hard to believe it’s rooted in something as juvenile as envy and bruised pride. And they’re suddenly interested in Safia- now that they feel like she’s not wrapped around their little finger anymore. Makes them itch for her attention, they will get her right back where she belongs.

Bonus points if Phyre was unbothered on finding out Gideon’s Gardener (Sabbat or not, they killed him already, what can he do anyway?) but finding out Safia’s fond of him is what strikes a nerve.