[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

protective sentence starters (part 2)

as requested by anon. part one here ( x ). Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !

“Make sure to eat before you go.”

“What were you thinking?!”

“How are you getting home?” / “What time will you be back?”

“Don’t eat/drink that!”

“I don’t trust him/her/them.”

“You’re so clumsy…come here.”

“Don’t you dare go out there young man/lady/one!”

“You can’t just go wandering off like that.”

“I’m not going to let you die/get hurt/get your heart broken.”

“Is this person/lady/guy bugging you?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you out of there.”

“Put on your seatbelt.”

“You don’t understand it now, but I’m trying to protect you.”

“I don’t need you to save me.” / “It’s my job to save you.”

“Let me go in first.”

“Did you not see that car/motorcycle/space ship/etc. coming right at you?”

“Stop complaining. I’m trying to save your life.”

“I’ll diffuse the bomb. You get out of here.”

“Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

“I know I never say it, but…thanks.” / “I will never say thanks.”

“Will you stay a little longer?”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew what you’d say.”

“Stop talking or we’ll be found.”

“I’ll always be here for you.”

“Don’t you see that it’s a trap?”

“I take no pleasure in saying this but…I told you so.” / “HAH! I told you so.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

Things I never expected upon starting Alphard: a flourishing HP vampire verse

[alphard-blxxxck]

lycorineisdeadlyifyoueatit

Narcissa shrugged, unperturbed; her son was a clever boy and she had confidence in his discretion. It was a trait she had taught him herself, after all. “I suppose it depends on whom the who would have been, but regardless…” She had also known her uncle for too long to be much fussed at the idea of his diet. She would have had a difficult time dealing with her husband and sister’s political choices if she did, furthermore – but all that was in the past, for good and ill alike. What mattered right now as Draco.

She hid a smile – poorly – as Alphard complained about her son’s height. Alphard was such an interesting study in contrasts; on one hand, he was far older than she was and would, without interference, live to be far, far older than she ever would…but on the other, in many ways he was trapped at the age he had been and would now always be. It was a juxtaposition that many people found unsettling, but Narcissa had always enjoyed. Perhaps it was naive of her, but she liked the idea that someone would never have to grow up, not truly.

Her smile disappeared at Alphard’s explanation. “Ugh,” she grunted – not a ladylike sound at all, but there was nothing mannerly about the nonsense those fools had been spouting at her son. “What vile, vulgar creatures. Did he take you up on it? The eating, I mean,” she clarified, reaching for parchment in quill in case she needed to start preparing. “Not the trouncing by means of historical precedent. Not that there isn’t merit in both,” Narcissa continued, “but only the former seems likely to necessitate either Lucius or myself stepping in to…tidy up afterward.”

She paused to give her uncle a smile. “Which doesn’t mean I’m not truly appreciative of your concern for Draco, of course. Please don’t mistake me. It was very kind of you to offer.” Still, satisfying though it would be, she had to hope that her son had been prudent enough to refuse…at least, she mostly hoped. “You’ve always been such a generous uncle, looking out for us all.” At least those of them who were still counted among them; the others didn’t count.

“He did not.” And, oh did he sound put out about it. It was a complicated feeling--both finding the idea appealing while also knowing that it would open up a whole host of legal issues. Alphard liked his life as it was right then--he was highly unlikely to change it without due cause. Draco, as it turned out, would be due cause--although he had finally relinquished any fancy of kidnapping him, however briefly. “And it depends on the type of historical precedent... I did tell him if his school work was at the proper level I’d teach him the lung hexes.”

Which was both good--it was always a smart idea to have additional skills available .. but bad in the sense that certain spells really had no place at Hogwarts. Not if the person in question wanted to graduate.

“I also indicated you had a book on the historical precedents sort of things.” Alphard waved a hand--that might have ended up in Walburga’s possession now that he thought of it. “So he may be looking for it over break.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

faithlessdragon:

Draco blinked, taken aback, but only for a moment; then he was grinning, shifting from sulky misery to cheerfulness with the abruptness common to early adolescence. He relaxed a little in his seat; he knew his great-uncle liked him, of course he did (how could anyone not like him? Well, anyone aside from horrid filth like Potter and his idiot friends!), but he’d been skittish around Alphard ever since starting at Hogwarts and learning how so much of the rest of the Wizarding World regarded vampires. But he should never have listened to them; what did they know? Did they have a great-uncle who would offer to eat the people who laughed at them? No they didn’t – but still…

“Better not,” Draco said reluctantly. “They may be imbeciles but they are good Quidditch players, and we’ll need them to beat Gryffindor next year. Thank you very much for the offer though,” he added, because unlike some muddied idiots he had been raised with manners.

He was rather less keen on the rest of Uncle Alphard’s advice – who wanted to spend History of Magic listening to Professor Binns? That was what he bribed Theodore Nott to do and take notes on for him, so he could doodle ugly drawings of Potter and the other Gryffindors to make Crabbe and Goyle laugh – and he had no idea what his uncle meant by describing people as “bad testicles” but his eyes lit up at the mention of choking on one’s own rib cage.

“Hypatia Lung invented a spell that would what?” Draco exclaimed. His hands dropped to his sides, the fraying embroidery on his cuffs forgotten, and he pushed himself forward absently so that he was sitting on the edge of his chair. “Not the lung reinflation one – everyone’s heard about that. The one about choking on a rib cage. How would that even work? Do you know the spell? Can you teach me?”

“Hypatia was the smart sort of wizard who realized you always have a fix for any hex you invent.. and then capitalize on it if it works on other things as well.” Alphard thought it was very shrewd of him. If he had a better mind for invention he would have liked to do the same.

But he didn’t. So he just knew random facts. Sometimes they came in handy. “I could but i would have to see where you are in your studies. I wouldn’t want your ribcage to get... active.”

Sometimes doing a spell wrong had unique results and Alphard did not want Naricssa to murder him. He was hard to kill and generally preferred to be alive, alls said.

“I am positive your mother has a book on this topic. Which, I know, a book--but it’s likely more interesting then class.” He meant the duality of cool wizards and witches who didn’t line up with narrow minded muggle ideas on gender. “And, of course, there are ways to get back at foolish wizards--but if you want to keep them on your quidditch team...” A deep sigh, as though Alphard was utterly despondent over it--when he was really not, he didn’t want to end up in Azkaban. “Get some older boys around for it and just ...know more then them. Which you already do.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

“Thank you, then. I think. I’m sorry, have I offended you?” Ted hadn’t suspected Alphard of playing femme fatale–until now. But that said everything about Ted and nothing about Alphard. The only person who could pull such a move on Ted was Andromeda, and her betraying him was a thought he would not entertain; it would hurt too much. But that was neither here nor there.

“You know Sirius is in trouble.” Ted frowned, eyes on Alphard. “What will you do for him? Or is this your way of helping him? And what about Regulus, too quiet and too young. He’ll be all alone in that house. You think separating them will be good for him?”

Ted had two siblings himself. Neither possessed magic. As a consequence, a chasm had formed between them. Their lives had diverged too much, and now they had too little in common. There was a lack of understanding between them, and often a lack of empathy. Maybe one day, when this conflict was resolved, they could find their way back to each other. For now, their relationship was superficial. And yet Ted was grateful to have any kind of relationship with them at all. He simply wished it was better for Andromeda’s sake.

“Mention Drom, will you? Remind him we’re here.” Andromeda might have done it herself already. Ted had stopped asking about the letters she sent to her estranged family. Some things didn’t need to be said, and some things were better shown in actions. Ted would kiss her ink-stained hands. But should any letters fail to reach Sirius, Ted had to know something or someone would.

“And Alphard…” His coffee arrived and Ted touched the handle, before changing his mind. He licked his lips, still processing this information. “Thank you. It’s very decent of you to tell me.”

“Ah, yes.” Alphard rolled his eyes. “Let me just go and become his parents. That will work out marvelously. I’ll make sure he’s kept on the family tree by becoming my sister. How do you think of these perfect plans?”

Even if Alphard could become his sister, he had very little interest in it. “Beyond that, we both know that there is virtually no chance i would ever be granted custody of one or both of those boys. First,” He threw up one finger. “I am single. And drunk.” He would not always be drunk but he would remain single, “Two--... two...it should have been one but anyway,” A second finger. “His parents are still alive.” A third finger, “And Third I would be a terrible parent and that is why I will always be single.” A fourth, “Staying with me would be suggesting he linger about until another family member wanted a go.”

He huffed and brushed his fingers away. “As for separating Regulus and Sirius--you can’t expect taking choices away from a teenager is a good idea.” Although... it might be likening taking the choice away from a teenager to pay with a sharp knife... Still, Alphard had no recourse.

He tisked under his breath and slid from his stool, “I am hardly decent.” He decided. “I’m drunk and therefore can’t consent or be held accountable for whatever you think you might have heard.” He fumbled with his money, trying to suss out in his head how much it would be--when he was really quite bad at it. He tossed it onto the bar, a mess but over paying one. He might have grinned again, might have winked. “I’ll probably be drunk at dinner, too. My poor second nephew...or whatever he is. Dratted family tree.”

[roleplaymemesforyou]

Send 💬 + a rumor and my muse will react to it.

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

Bait in a trap? Did he mean… A nervous laugh broke from Ted’s lips. He cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m a married man, Alphard. Married to your cousin.” His sexuality was complicated besides, and not something he had discussed with many outside Andromeda and his closest friends. “And I only drink at funerals.” It was hard to turn down a drink when it was given to you to knock back in someone’s honour; when he needed something to burn through the moment and ground him in it all at once.

“Wait, did you say…” Ted’s embarrassment dissolved, forgotten. He turned in his seat to face Alphard fully, brushing his hair out of his face. This was news. Good news, but… Maybe. No. Christ, Ted felt for the boy. “Sirius or Regulus?” It should have been Andromeda hearing this. Ted barely looked at the glass, sliding it a safe distance away from the edge of the bar. “What’s going on? If you care for Andromeda, please tell me. Andromeda had a home to go to. She had family.” She had Ted. It wasn’t much, not enough really, but it was something. It was more than something; they had built a future worth holding on for. “Let Andromeda give her cousin the same.” What would it take to prompt a visit from one of her cousins? Maybe Ted needed a drink after all, but when he caught the barkeep’s attention he said, “Just another coffee please.”

“Even if you weren’t.” Alphard decided--which was probably not entirely kind but that was his perspective. He felt he was right in his assessment. “All the same, I’m hardly turning up here to get you drunk and shipped off. Thats what i mean. What is in those movies.. femme fatals?”

Clearly not Alphard, in any case.

“Regulus is too young and too quiet for this sort of thing.” Alphard offered, somewhat chiding. But maybe Sirius was, too? That was possible. He rather liked Sirius more than Regulus if only because he was a little wild and challenging. “And I don’t know what is going to happen.” He was very firm in that--or as firm as one could be when their worlds were softened by drink. “Or when.” So maybe not useful at all. “But Walburga’s temper is going to snap.”

He had seen it enough first hand--it wasn’t a matter of if but when. “And when it does he’ll either fine yours or the Potter’s. Probably both.”

It would be better to land at the Potters, Alphard thought, if only because it’d likely have more space. “I think it’ll be soon.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

Ted leaned in to meet Alphard, offering his ear for him to whisper into. It was a reflex, leftover from his time at Hogwarts when Ted had a short attention span and favoured whispering with friends over learning. Of course, Alphard wasn’t confiding in him now. He was… Ted didn’t even know. This was just how he was, he supposed; his manner of speech.

“I wouldn’t tattle on you.”

But there were people who would, and if Ted could run into him out of the blue, then others could just as easily. It really went without saying–who would Ted tattle on Alphard to? But it felt good to say it aloud none the less. It was like extending an olive branch, declaring he wasn’t a threat. Doubtless, Alphard had never perceived him as one, but Ted knew for a fact there were Blacks who did.

“I won’t tell anyone you visit muggle pubs, or that you prefer your family tree intact, even if it means inviting a muggleborn to one of your awkward dinners.” Except perhaps Andromeda. He told her everything. “Your secret is safe with me.” Not that it was much of a secret. Ted’s word carried no weight whatsoever to anyone who might care about such things. It meant something to Ted though. Maybe he’d drawn the wrong conclusion about Alphard, or maybe Alphard was different when he was drunk, but right now he was proof that muggle and magic could exist in the same space in harmony, even the purest and most obstinate of wizarding society.

Maybe he was simply speaking too soon. 

“Well, you can.” Alphard pointed out, “But it wouldn’t make any difference, really. Because you’re not Bellatrix or Orion or any number of people. Lucky for me: no one I’d worry about would be caught dead here.”

He gestured to the barman, “If you want to order something for yourself you can. I’m not exactly bait in a trap for you.” Ted had not seemed to pay even an wick of attention to any of his comments. It was safe to say, in Alphard’s good opinion, that Ted was tragically exceptionally straight.

As a board.

Maybe even firmer.

He took the shot he purchased and grimaced again. It still tasted awful. “Andromeda should know her cousin may be seeing her soon.” He pushed the cup across the bar so that it almost fell. “Cousin. Not uncle.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

lycorineisdeadlyifyoueatit:

Narcissa winced and tried to cover it with another smile; she had a feeling that this one was rather less successful than the last. “Oh dear,” she said heavily, and paused. “Would it be indelicate of me to ask…what you were eating?” She wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear – that it had been a consensual feeding, or the end results of a hunt, or something else altogether. Which style of vampiric dining would she rather her son see, if she had to choose?

Mother had never included these sorts of concerns on the lists of parenting advice she had given her daughters, more the pity…

Still, worries over Draco aside she couldn’t help but smirk a bit at her great-uncle as he fretted and pouted in a manner that was extremely reminiscent of her young son. “I am afraid that Draco has inherited the customary family height and then compounded it with a few inches from Lucius’s side of the bloodline,” she said gently. “He seems to be tending that way, anyway.” It was hard to tell with a boy his age, of course – growth spurts were never consistent, and his might well end early leaving him shorter than she anticipated – but all signs pointed toward the likelihood that her son would be taller than her by the time he was done, although perhaps only be a hairsbreadth; Narcissa was hardly a short woman. “We shall all simply have to make do, Uncle Alphie. There’s really no way of stopping a child from growing, after all.” Well, there was one – but Narcissa had no intention of letting another vampire into the family right now, at least not via the doorway of her only son.

“Now, what is this about his classmates’ beliefs? Surely you don’t mean blood-purity, Draco’s never questioned that – oh,” she interrupted herself, annoyed for not seeing the obvious sooner, “he wanted to know about vampirism, didn’t he? And the war?” Narcissa sighed. She really would have preferred to stave off that question for a few more years…and certainly to have Draco learn about that aspect of the war from someone less personally involved than Alphard. “What did you tell him?” She forced a smile, not wanting her uncle to think she was cross with him. “No need to feel guilty; it’s impossible to be prepared for a teenager, I fear. I’m not going to blame you for being caught off-guard.”

Well. Not unless he’d said something truly inexcusable.

“I assure you, if it had been a who you would have a whole different host of problems on your hands.” Alphard replied rather sharply. While it was a pass time of most humans to remark on what they had for dinner --vampires were another matter.

“He should at least take his height cues from the Black side of the family and resist the majority of his growth spurts until he is over eighteen.” There was o reason to believe that he wouldn’t have been as tall as his siblings--had he been further into his twenties. Alas, it was not meant to be.

“Luckily not as bad as all that--although I thought so myself.” He had been trying to sort out the best ways of phrasing that when Draco had surprised him with---something far more mundane. “He has half-blood classmates suggesting arcane gender ideas.” He paused, drawing his lips into a thin line, “I offered to eat them and then suggested he use historical knowledge and older boys to show them their place.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

faithlessdragon:

Draco fidgeted, tugging his thumb along the embroidery along the cuff of his sleeve. He nodded absently in response to his uncle’s advice (was it advice, or just an excuse for not remembering?) but he wasn’t really listening. He was torn; on the one hand, he had been raised never to be too honest, too revealing, for fear of the weaknesses too much truth could breed…but on the other, he had grown up knowing that family was different. His parents had always encouraged his every stray thought or whim, had proven themselves not just trustworthy but interested listeners. Draco had yet to conceive the notion of lying to them; the closest he came to planning deception was when he neglected to inform them of something ahead of time – such as this visit to his great uncle.

But Uncle Alphard was family too, so surely that meant he could be as forthright here as if he had been talking to his father or mother…

He took a deep breath and said, “About what wizards are ‘allowed’ to do and what they aren’t. Ways that you ‘have’ to behave, that sort of thing.” He met Uncle Alphard’s eyes for a moment and wrinkled his nose, but dropped his gaze again and started picking more earnestly at the silver threads that rimmed his sleeves. “Some of my teammates were – were arguing,” he explained quietly. “About whether or not Bletchley was going to make the team look weak because he’d started dating this bloke in Hufflepuff, only – only they weren’t concerned because he was dating a Hufflepuff, they were concerned because he was a bloke.” Draco twitched his shoulders in a shrug without looking up. “I said that was utter rubbish, I mean father dated loads of blokes in school and he’s, well…”

Draco waved a hand, as though the vaunted perfection that was Lucius Malfoy was too obvious to require description. “Only Bole said that that was just more proof that my father didn’t have the faintest idea how real wizards behaved, which explained me, and I…I didn’t…I didn’t know what to say. I’d never heard anything like that before, only when I tried to ask about it Flint – he’s the captain – he just laughed at me and said that I was a good enough Seeker that he didn’t care what sort of nonsense I got up to beyond that, especially since father had been shrewd enough to purchase some respect for me with those brooms, and…and…”

He voice caught with the same sharpness on which his nail snagged a thread. He looked up at Alphard. “And they’re both half-bloods, you know, Flint and Bole, and the – the others who laughed, too. So I figured it had to be some stupid Muggle idea. But I’ve never heard any of what they were on about before. So I just…I wanted to know if you, you know…if you’d, when you were in school, ever come across…and what you did, if you did…?” his voice trailed off.

“I could eat them.” It was probably not the best idea to suggest it after Draco had just walked in on him eating--but he grinned pointily and then settled back in his chair. “Yes, those backwards ideas are not uncommon with half-bloods and muggleborns and all that nonsense.” He waved a hand. “But its just that--nonsense. And they’ll learn it themselves because there are older boys at school then you who will destroy them as they hear it.”

He considered it and then sighed, “Its an awful thing to suggest but you might want to make sure to pay particular attention in history of magic.” Alphard sort of loved the class but he knew that that was definitely not something most students thought so he decided not to expound on his delight in it. Simply sigh, “Because you can use history as a particularly good weapon.”

Alphard always liked to have a defense and he thought it more useful then simply saying ‘yes, of course, they are idiots’---even if it was true. “It’s their own stupidity if they wish to believe Lucius is less of a threat because he takes care of his hair.” Alphard thought he was less of a threat for other reasons. “So ask them about other people--which History has already determined them to be...oh, what do kids say today? Bad testicles. Or something. Anyway.”

He waved that thought way, “Something like, “So you think Hypatia Lung was less of a wizard for reusing to work without his nails decorated? How strange, seeing as without Hypatia we wouldn’t have a way to restart lungs after a particularly brutal hex...or the hex to murder someone by choking on their own rib cage.”

That may have been a bit too dark for a child.

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

Oh, Ted had heard about those. He had even geared himself up for one such dinner long ago, but Andromeda had discussed it with her parents in advance, and it had gone as abysmally as expected. He would have suffered it though, for her; and yet he was glad he didn’t have to, just as he was glad she didn’t have to either. From what he gathered, they were a stark contrast from the dinners eaten bundled up on the settee, or around the small table slotted into the galley kitchen, cramped with the hum of the refrigerator at his back, but made comfortable by the fact they shared it with each other.

“If you’re so stuck in your ways, why are you here?” The question was eating away at him. Truthfully, he didn’t expect an honest answer from Alphard, but so long as they were both here, so long as Alphard was talking and laughing, did Ted have anything to lose by asking? “If it’s anonymity you’re after, that clearly isn’t working out for you.” Ted gestured at himself, then took another sip from his coffee. He couldn’t let his suspicions show, not around Alphard Black, whom he suspected was still sharp despite being intoxicated. It was annoying really. Ted had come for that very reason and here was Alphard, screwing it all up. 

Alphard leaned in close, as though offering a secrete or a warning and then asked, “What, are you going to tattle on me?” He gave Ted a grin and a wink. “Edward, really, look around you.”

He settled back on his own stool and then, actually, looked around. “I don’t see any of my siblings, in laws, parents, or nephews by marriage.” He actually looked a little smug at that. “Because you’re not--not technically. Well, I guess still legally--but thats because Druella is sloppy.”

And Alphard didn’t mind. He didn’t remind her either.

He leaned across the bar and asked for--whatever it was I had last time, be a chap-- and then settled back again. “Certainly my tongue is loose.” He offered. “But if it is--no one here is going mind.” Not in the way others minded, others who knew a bit too much.

[georgiawarrs]

@toujourspurnetwork challenge - estranged members:

Alphard, Cygnus and Walburga Black

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

Ted’s heart quickened when Alphard raised his hand, and he flinched with each pat to his cheek. Alphard was right about one thing; Ted was smart, at least smart enough to know better than to trust someone like Alphard Black. He wasn’t a Death Eater, as far as Ted knew, but that didn’t make him innocent. “Funny,” he said faintly, though he didn’t see anything amusing in Alphard’s wordplay, not when muggleborns were being accused of using magic that wasn’t rightfully theirs.

“Thanks for the compliment, but I’m obviously not pretty enough, or Cygnus and Druella might have overlooked my blood status.” Not charismatic enough, not smart enough… Ted had been so young and foolish to think if he presented himself a certain way, if he said the right words, they might be tempted to let Andromeda have this one. But in the end, it was the blood in his veins they couldn’t get over. No, not even that; that was tosh. It was his history, his ancestry, and somehow that was much worse. “But I’m wrong, aren’t I? They’d never do anything of the sort. Not even for the love of their daughter.”

Ted fumbled with the mug a moment, before setting it down on the bar. Sitting here with Alphard, it was like drinking with his demons. He hadn’t been prepared for this. Had he known he would run into Alphard Black at this pub, he’d have walked right past it. But he hadn’t known, and now he was here, and all his fears were surfacing. Was there anything he could have done to get Andromeda’s parents to accept him? If he was lucky, the answer was no, then he could live believing it was a hopeless, futile effort to begin with; that there wasn’t a solution he’d simply failed to see.

Alphard snorted, then started to laugh, it took him a moment to settle again. “You’re accusing my brother of approving of pretty things.” He shook his head, sniffing a moment and then shook his head again. “Certainly his daughters are all very pretty--but its not as though he went out to the shops to pick them out. No, really. They couldn’t be more pleased and couldn’t be less intent. You would never be pretty enough for them. But that has nothing to do with your face.”

If Ted had been pureblood he would have been fine, of course, but that had nothing to do with suitability beyond that. Even if he could barely handle a wand--it would have been embarrassing but enough.

“Don’t mistake me,” He took up his cup of coffee again. “I am as much stuck in my ways as they are--but you’re pretty enough and I like my tree intact. Intact and i could give you appreciative, yet perfectly cutting glances at the most uncomfortable dinners you can imagine.” He grinned, “You might have gotten off the easy way, really. You should ask Dromie about them sometime.”

Alphard was enjoying this--it was a good distraction when he let it be one.

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

Well, shit. Alphard did recognise him after all. Ted didn’t know whether to feel relieved, or disappointed. Or afraid. No, not that. He was tired of feeling that way towards the people who had raised Andromeda; had loved her once, if not still. Life was too short to let fear control him. Disappointed then. Ted would have preferred to be mistaken for a stranger. He didn’t know want to be seen through their eyes. 

He sighed. Alphard had no business talking about their wedding night, and Ted could feel heat rising in his cheeks–he wasn’t drunk enough to have this conversation. It went without saying that what was supposed to be one of the happiest days in their lives was tinged with grief. They had dared to dream, but they had asked too much of Andromeda’s family, and of life itself. So young was right. Too young to be losing family. But all Ted could do was love and support Andromeda, whatever her choice. And she had chosen him. Was he supposed to feel guilty for that? For letting himself be part of her happiness?

“You know who I am then. Good to know. You could ask about the well-being of your niece. Instead, you bring up our wedding night?” Was nothing sacred in this family? Apparently not. He supposed this was a demonstration of Alphard’s concern, but it was meaningless so long as he wasn’t present in her life. Sure, she received a letter from someone every once in a while, but they were too little too late in Ted’s opinion. Like trying to fix a leaky pipe with a plaster. And this was all assuming they deserved to be in Andromeda’s life, that she wasn’t better off without them. That particular thought was one Ted would never give voice to, but he had his opinions. No one who caused Andromeda a measure of misery had any right to demand even a minute of her time.

“I’d rather you didn’t.“ The barkeep set his coffee in front of him, a second in front of Alphard, and Ted said a quick cheers, then took a sip. “That’s a bit intimate, don’t you think? And for Christ’s sake, put this away.” He slid the money back towards Alphard, taking only a few pounds which he dropped in the tip jar. “You’re too drunk to be throwing money around, unless you’re looking to get mugged.” He glanced over his shoulder to see if anyone had glimpsed the notes, which of course they had. There was something about drunk people and their lack of filters that attracted onlookers, like they’d never seen honesty before.  Wasn’t always pretty, was it? 

“Of course  I know who you are.” Alphard smiled this time, perfectly at ease to be saying, “Andromeda has always had a good eye for pretty things. Boys, too, of course, but generally. Unusual things. But they are often the prettiest.”

He meant this as a compliment, too, he figured. But it likely came out wrong and warped. Wasn’t that the way of their family though? Alphard thought so. Good intentions, all wrong. He stuffed a fifty pound note in the tip jar and then the rest went into his pockets.

“And why would I do that?” Alphard mused and took up the cup of coffee. “If anything you should say I won’t tell you anything.” He took a sip and winced--reaching for some sugar. “Because you are smart. Smart and pretty. Andromeda wouldn’t--she wouldn’t...” He lost the thought there for a moment and searched for it among the bottles behind the bar, then shook himself. “Anyway, I have no interest in having anything that can be pulled from me on whatever children exist, thank you.”

He gave Ted a rather shrewd look out of the corner of his eye, then ruined it by reaching over and patting him on the cheek. “Mugging. Muggles. Quaint.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

apcgee:

That he was her only uncle didn’t diminish that he was her favourite; perhaps it was more telling and important to admit he was her favourite of the previous generation. Not a terrible high bar to pass, but he did it with ease. Perhaps the previous generation viewed him with disdain for what he’d become, but there would always be a part of Bellatrix that was the small girl thrilled by her uncle and all he’d accomplished for himself, beyond the limits of what was expected of him. 

Relenting to the hug with a grace few others would have gotten, she returned the tight grip briefly. “Pureblood alone doesn’t denote any sense of occasion or personage,” she replied in the light tone that passed for teasing. “When we are done here, I will entertain you properly.” Her eyes narrowed slightly as she leaned in. “Are you … well, uncle?” 

“Perhaps,” Alphard considered, eyeing Bellatrix and trying to catalog--what did she know? What was her place here? Security was important, particularly for a girl--even a girl such as Bellatrix. “It is more that I miss my own place.”

It was most certainly not--these rooms, at least visually, were as nice as the rooms he maintained. Single, he had no need or interest in maintaining a house. He normally rented two rooms in a hotel which also provided long term living quarters. There house elves, of course there were, and understandings. It suited him quite well.

He wanted to ask direction to go home--he also thought that if Bellatrix took up that crusade on his behalf it would not end well. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and patted the sides of her shoulders, “Love, I am immortal. We do not get ill.”

He tutted as though chiding and then put distance between them, crossing over to the chairs he had been provided. Ill--never to rarely. Disoriented, yes. Particularly when hungry which was why it was important to keep his wits. There were many things Cygnus would forgive him for. Eating Bellatrix was not one of them. “You were married,” It likely didn’t seem topical or even a smooth transition. “I still can’t remember you’re last name isn’t Black anymore.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

faithlessdragon:

Indignation overcome concerns for the purity of the blood on the floor; Draco’s chin jerked up and his eyes narrowed and he forgot to be nervous of his great-uncle or the man’s potentially muddied diet. “I’m thirteen,” he said peevishly – a lie technically, since he was still a few weeks shy of his birthday, but there was surely no harm in rounding up. Especially when talking to a relative who had forgotten his age!

Draco folded his arms, blissfully unaware of how childish he looked when he pouted like that. “And I know all about the war.” Knew the broad strokes of it, anyway; so often one or the other of his parents would change the subject whenever something really interesting came up, and of course no one talked about Draco’s other uncles or aunt, the ones in Azkaban…but surely he knew enough. He wasn’t a child, whatever Uncle Alphard might think…

“Anyway, I know they have stupid ideas about vampires.” They talked about the war in school, too, even if it was hard to tell sometimes what was fact and what was fancy, and the topic of vampires was inescapable in those discussions. “Lots of wix have stupid ideas about vampires, too,” he added in a mutter. Draco had gotten himself into more than one loud argument, and a few things that had gone beyond just arguing, on that topic – but he didn’t want to admit that to his uncle. He might have bragged about “defending vampiric honor” on his uncle’s behalf if he wouldn’t have then had to admit then that there were times when he didn’t – either because the other (usually older) wix was faster on the draw, or more often because Draco simply decided it wasn’t worth the fight.

Instead of confessing to anything, he cleared his throat and said hurriedly, “But I meant about…well, about what ‘being a wizard’ means. Did they ever…the other students, I mean, the stupid students – did they ever talk about that, when you were in school? Or is that a new idea the Muggles have had?”

Draco was sure they must have – was sure that Uncle Alphard would be able to explain the things that he hesitated to ask his father. Uncle Alphard would understand…wouldn’t he? Before he’d become a vampire, he’d been a boy like Draco – mother had told him that, and the notation of a replacement name on the family tree confirmed it. He leaned forward in his chair, unconsciously trying to close the difference between them – as though proximity might sprout the answers he sought.

“Ages are hard to keep track of when you see family about once a year.” Alphard pointed out. “Remember and use it to your advantage next time.”

Not that it mattered, really. Alphard was trying to remember what was and was not appropriate for 13. That was fairly young, wasn’t it? Not close to graduation... all of this was bothersome--and only softened by the fact he really did want to talk to Draco.

“Well,” He offered on the topic Draco actually wanted to talk about. “It’s not about the length of the wand, so to speak--but I know you already know that.” Draco’s mother would see to that, certainly. Then there was Draco himself. “Are we talking about that or blood purity or ... war... or ... “

It was better to just ask out right, he thought. Otherwise they could talk in circles--or worse Draco would leave and the he would have see Alphard eating for no good reason at all. “My classmates,” He settled on. “Had a lot of ideas on the topic in a lot of different ways.”

[alphard-blxxxck]

edwardtedtonks:

It was normal to be embarrassed by your in-laws, wasn’t it? Ted wouldn’t know. Since graduating, he’d yet to spend more than a few moments with one of Andromeda’s relatives, and after what they’d put her through, it was no loss for him, that much Ted could say with confidence. But it was a loss for Andromeda, and for any children the future might gift them, and for that reason alone the sight of Alphard Black getting so brazenly drunk and at this hour… it pissed Ted right off. 

But that anger fizzled away, leaving only sadness in its ashes, just as it always did. With a Muslim mother and a Christian father, Ted had already seen first-hand what a marriage of different ideologies cost a family because of others’ ignorance; seen how society would turn something joyous and beautiful into their business, something to be judged. It was disgusting and it was hurtful, and Ted thought he was past this. Standing a few feet away from Alphard, it was clear he was wrong; he wasn’t past it at all. 

“If it’s so awful, why drink it at all?” And why here? Surely there was a pub in the area that stocked elf-made wine or some other wizarding concoction that Ted never had all that much interest in trying. In fact, Ted knew there was, only two streets away. Why a muggle pub of all places? It wouldn’t bother Ted if the Black family hadn’t devoted themselves to keeping people like Ted separate. “If you want to drink here again, I’d recommend tipping more than a pence or two. Try pounds, a couple of them, or you’ll be drinking more than you paid for.”

Ted had worked in a pub only once in his life and he wasn’t in any rush to repeat the experience, what with all the shit people threw at you as they drank away their problems. It had its moments of course. Ted helped where he could–mostly people merely needed a stranger to talk to–but the barkeeper was looking less sympathetic, more harassed, and two more ungrateful comments away from spitting in Alphard’s next drink.

“I’ll have another coffee,“ he said to the barkeep as they reached his end of the bar, collecting glasses. “Should I make that two?” he asked Alphard. Ted didn’t expect a Black to accept kindness from a stranger, let alone one he would assume to be a muggle, but he had to try. Coffee wouldn’t sober him up, but it would give him a break from the alcohol. And the day Ted stopped extending that kindness to the people who were so adamant to be his enemy was the day they won. Ted wouldn’t have that. 

“You know why,” Alphard decided, because everyone knew why one kept drinking something that tasted awful. In a pub. Magical or muggle--although this was probably the worst he had ever been in. “Because you are not a stupid man.” He meat it as a compliment, the clumsy earnestness of the drunk.

Oh he knew Ted Tonks. Edwards Tonks. That mudblood--mostly known the latter from Walburga, of course, and Druella. Of course, Alphard thought similar things but he also didn’t much care for the loss of a niece--particularly one that was relatively close in age. Drink could not erase that knowledge--at least not the amount he had had so far.

And it was for that reason that Alphard went into his pocket, took out nearly two hundred pounds in a variety of coins and bills, and shoved it not into Ted’s hands but onto the bar and in Ted’s direction. “Then be a dear and make sure this man gets paid. I’m fuck all figuring it out but there’s little point in being a stiff.”

Which almost sounded steady until he repeated the word stiff and started to giggle. “Merlin I hope never to know of your wedding night.” It probably sounded like a non sequitur but Alphard thought it was very much along with the plot. “I’m sure it was delightful--you’re delightful--” Perhaps not. “But she was so so so young.”

Alphard was not married and was unlikely to ever. He also thought that he was being very clear about the fact he had known Andromeda since she was little and some things were far too uncomfortable to imagine... he was not.