We Fell In Love
Word count: +3k
Warnings: angst, sorrow, few bad words, suggestive, 16+, female!reader, mentions of alcohol and anxiety
Summary: You and Heochan have been good friends for a while, but you developed feelings towards him and, afraid of having your heart broken again, you might have made a bad choice.
A/n: Hey guys, it's me again! Sorry for not posting, I was lacking in ideas and I like to think twice before posting anything. Anyways, I'm happy to contribute with a writing for Chan. Hope you like this one! I made it with my whole heart and I guess this is my longest one so far! Have a good read!
The story is below the cut!
Feelings were not things you could explain. In fact, for you they were very difficult to demonstrate and you often walked away, trying to avoid them.
They were synonymous to problems.
At least for your old you.
It's not that you haven't had a crush before, of course you’ve had them. The point is about clearing, cutting off the feeling before it grew. It kind of worked. For a person like you, who has had her heart broken hardly before it was easier that way.
Maybe that's why this person was a complete puzzle for you. Heochan. Even his name sounded special. You didn't know what part of him caught you so bad, perhaps his beauty, his laugh, his charisma, his voice, his movements... In fact, there were plenty reasons why you could fall for him even without him trying anything.
Well, you were an idol in Plan M. It was absolutely normal to find some other idols hot and all, but that's not just it with him. It started as a friendship, but your behavior towards him suddenly changed. You constantly found your eyes looking for him in the room, you were always wanting to chat with him, send him messages... wanting to be with him.
This was scary, this was new. You were afraid, afraid of deep diving again in a relationship, afraid of losing yourself in him, afraid of disappointing. Afraid.
And, afraid of getting too involved, you decided to block him from your life. No, you didn't block him on social media or anything. You just didn't pick up, didn't read nor reply his messages, didn't like his photos nor comment. In short, you decided to stop seeing him.
Heochan tried hard, for three days in a row he kept on trying to get in touch with you, but you simply ignored him. Even though it was hard, you didn't want to feel down the same way you felt before. Yes, it was a little selfish, but your mental health was important and, now, you were sure having your heart broken would be an awful idea.
And with that, after these three days, he stopped messaging you. There weren't any updates on the fancafe either. You thought maybe he decided to hang out with someone or take his time to relax and slowly forget you. You felt a mix of relief and regret. You missed him, of course, but having feelings for your best friend is not something you could bare, specially if it was unilateral.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Maybe him?
You felt a tiny, little bit of hope.
Carefully, you decided to look into the peephole to find a bottle of soju covering your view.
-Maybe it is time for a drink? - was what your group member, Suyeon, asked. You sighed, slightly frustrated, but what did you expect really? That he would crawl to you begging for you to answer him again? Obviously not. You opened the door and welcomed her.
-Wow, Y/n... Your house is a mess... - she commented, looking at the pile of books, clothes and food packages on the floor.
-Yeah, but I don't remember inviting you either - you replied shortly.
-Wow, how cold! Why are you like that? We will be soon preparing for our new album in what seems like an eternity. How long has it been since our last comeback? - She continued talking while sitting on the floor, in front of the coffee table in the room.
-I think seven months.
-You see? This is what happens to senior groups, we can no longer promote. We should be grateful for what we are getting.
-Suyeon, seriously... I'm not in the mood...
-I realized. And, in fact, I got it very well - your eyes went wide at that moment.
-What do you mean?
-Well... maybe if you have a drink I can tell you...
You sighed again. This was your drunk friend. Giving up, you took a cup and she poured you a shot. She touched her cup to yours and smiled.
-Cheers - you both said, but her voice was much happier.
-You know... We have been friends for... seven years...?
-More. It's been about ten.
-Wow, we're getting old - she said and you laughed at her comment - but you know, I spend more time with you than with my mom... you know me better than her and so do I. We are best friends and I know when you're hiding something important from me.
-Su, it's not... - you tried to cut her speech, because you didn't want to hear her talking over and over about how you should deal with your anxiety.
-I know. It’s that... I am always here for you... You can come for advice, to talk about your problems, to have a small talk. I am always here, but why don't you come with me? Hm?
-I don't know... - you muttered, knowing full well that she was right. She was always trying to make you feel lighter and most the times she did - I think it got harder to talk about me as time passed.
-I understand your point, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. You can rely more on me if it’s too much to carry by yourself. I’m always here, we can walk together and share the weight of our problems, okay? – you looked deeply at her eyes, which reflected the light and truth. Smiling softly, you nodded and she returned you with a grin.
-Thank you, thank you for being here – you hugged her tight – I should treasure you more – she laughed at your comment, patting your back – Still... can we not talk about me tonight? – you parted the hug, grabbing your cup for another sip.
-Of course. Then should we talk about him...? - she grabbed your hand that was resting on the cup and looked into your eyes.
-You... - you looked surprised at her, finally understanding that she knew it. - Oh, dear. You are so transparent. I'm pretty sure he is the only one who doesn't know it yet. And, really, he had already visited and asked all members about you - she giggled - It's pretty comic actually, he is all worried and here you are, blaming yourself again. Stop it. Live. Enjoy some.
-What are you talking about? – you questioned, simply don’t getting the meaning of her words together.
-Stop with this nonsense. I'm talking about Chan, Heochan. He is worried as fuck. He told me you decided to run away from him, not picking up calls nor messages, completely ghosting him. Poor thing. I can say he looked like a mess as well, maybe you two are really meant to be – she joked, poking your arm with her elbow.
You were out of words. You expected him to be a little worried but not this much to ask all the members, since your group was a five girls group but all of them were living quite far from each other.
-I know you like him and I know it's not just a shallow feeling. You really treasure him, so why are you worrying about what didn't even happen? Try it, isn't he worth the try? I know you are afraid, but will avoiding him and pretending you don't have feelings for him really fix everything? I don't think so, and you'll regret it in no time. What if He meets a cutie meanwhile and then you finally realize you wanted him? What would you do? Huh, I bet you don’t even want to think about it, but you should. While he still likes you, hold him.
You gulped silently.
-What is this? – you asked, rubbing the corners of your lips, removing the rest of alcohol from them and getting more sober.
-An advice. No, a warning. It's almost a threat! - she spoke in fake fierce - Okay, but seriously, I worry for you and I want you to be happy. I've noticed that you genuinely smile at him and when he is the topic of our conversations, oh, you can’t hold your laugher and silly grins back. Don't let this happiness slip from your fingers like this. You deserve each other.
You took a deep breath, relieving the weight you had been carrying alone. Her words felt right.
-You're right.
-I'm always right. I know you better than anyone, even yourself.
You both laughed and you hugged her again.
-Should I text him now? - you thought out loud.
-Girl? You should run to him like... now!
You got up right away, running to your bedroom, getting some outfits from your closet, fixing you hair, putting on some makeup and, of course, brushing your teeth because you didn't want them to smell like alcohol.
-It's a date not a fashion fair! - Suyeon shouted to you from the living room.
-My life depends on it! - you shouted back
-It does not. He is already in love with you, don’t worry - she stated, raising the cup one more time and drinking another shot.
You took a last look on the mirror. You looked messy, but you didn't have the time to fix it. You grabbed your keys and were almost closing the door when Suyeon protested.
-Girl, how am I going home if you lock me in here?
-Aish! - you swore, rubbing your head while thinking, but you couldn't think straight at that moment - argh, just stay here, I have no time.
-But will you come back home tonight? - you blushed at her comment.
-You pervert!
-I'm realistic!
-Ugh. Then, just sleep here today, it's not like you'll be able to drive back home anyways - you said back to her, looking at her drunk state.
-You won! Go, love bird, go! Take my car, but give it back tomorrow - she waved at you and you smiled and closed the door, running as fast as you could. At this point, you thought time was so slow that even running to her car on the other side of the street felt like ages.
When you reached it, you quickly entered and started driving to your company. Heochan always stayed behind to practice some more. He liked the silence of the building in the evening, because it helped him focus and he thought it was relaxing as well. Actually you two thought and did that, maybe that's why you were holding a big smile on your face while thinking about it.
The green light showed up and you couldn't help but step further on the accelerator. After fifteen long minutes, you could see the so wanted building and some windows lighted. You looked for Victon's dance practice room and you found it on. A big grin on your face as you parked in front of the building, not caring if you'd get fined. You left the car in a hurry, opening the doors as fast as you could, going upstairs because you couldn't wait for the elevator. In fact, you couldn't wait anymore.
All you wanted was to jump on Heochan and kiss him, you didn't even care if he was going to say he liked you back. Well, of course you were going to respect his decision, but the thing is that you weren’t afraid of being turned down. You felt the urge to see him again. Yet, when you reached the last degree, your stomach started to manifest and a nervous feeling ran down your whole body.
Would he like to see you here? After all the show you’ve put on? Maybe it wasn't a good idea. Maybe you shouldn't have come. Why did you even think you deserved to see him after all you made he go through?
The song was loud, but not enough to disturb people on the hallway. Suddenly, the sound halted and you froze. Still, you had no time to runaway anymore. Heochan had already opened the door and here you were, in front of your loved one after a long week far from each other.
-What are you doing here? - he asked you. Even though his voice was still as sweet as always, you could sense in his tone that he sounded disappointed.
-I- I- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry - you stuttered at your words, part of it from the alcohol since you've always had low tolerance for it, but most because you broke into tears the moment you saw him and you felt too guilty to look at his face. You kneeled there, crying in front of him as you hid your face on your lap.
- What? What are you talking about? Hey, don't cry... What happened? - he asked as he kneeled in front of you and patted your back.
-I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm... - you kept saying through your crying, he pressed his lips together, bringing you to his arms again, his warmth giving you the same comforting feeling as before.
-It's okay, you did nothing... - he softly mumbled back, trying to calm you down.
-No, I did... I did... I ghosted on you for... - you sniffed you nose - no reason! Just because I'm a coward person. I am afraid of feeling betrayed again and I can't even... I can't even be honest with you! - you stated. He did nothing but to keep on giving your nape light touches in hope you'd calm down and tell him what was wrong - I'm sorry... Can I be honest with you from now on? - you lifted your head, looking at him. He quickly wiped off your tears and held your cheek with his palm.
-Of course... - he said, his voice sweet, so sweet you thought your diabetes could react.
-I like you. No, I love you. And... I want you. I'm sorry for being selfish - you confessed. He looked surprised, you could tell by the way his brows went up and he stayed there with no reaction for long three seconds - It's totally okay if you don't like me back - you wiped away some tears, shifting the way you sat as you talked nervously - I'm okay, I just wanted to be real with you this time and...
-Wait, wait, wait - he cut you off, almost like he had woken up from his daydream - Are you telling me you avoided me this week because you had a crush on me? - he asked in disbelief.
-That's exactly what I told you. But really, it's okay if you don't like me back... – you kept on saying, not realizing that he had just understood what you said at that moment.
-No, no. Y/n. Are you serious? I was... I was so worried about you! I can't believe it... I thought you hated me.
-No, it's not that...
-Geez. If I didn't like you back, I would be the one who wouldn't be okay with this - he held you from your back and closed the gap between your lips.
At first, you were so shocked, not expecting him to suddenly kiss you, but then you relaxed and gave in the kiss. His lips felt like magic, the one you’ve always wanted to try. Yours lips together felt like pieces of a puzzle, completing each other. The kiss, which started pure and passionate, quickly changed into a more sensual and hotter one.
It was long, like you wanted to feel through it the time you were apart. You separated to get a breath. Two big smiles adorning both of your faces as well as his dimples clear on both sides of his face.
-I love you. I love you. I love you - he confessed back, holding you into an embrace.
-I'm really sorry, Chan...
-Shhh, it’s okay. You don't need to. All I wanted was you here - he said, running his fingers through your hair - I missed you.
-I missed you too... - you sighed, relieving the stress from before.
-Did you miss me that much to drink soju? - he questioned, broking the hug to stare at your eyes.
You blushed hard, covering your mouth with your hand.
-Could you taste it?
-Of course, it was strong - he laughed and you almost became a tomato.
-I'm sorry... Suyeon showed up with some bottles of soju and I...
-Oh... so you are blaming her now...?
-NO! - you protested, but then gave up - Aish. I hate you.
-Wow, feelings really change fast. You’ve just said you loved me.
-I'm taking that back - you put out your tongue, acting like you meant it.
-How stubborn! - he commented - Will my patience be enough to bare you?
-Will it?
You two laughed loud.
-I really love you - he hugged you again, but this time you thought you could take a revenge on his words.
-You are all sweaty! - you pretended to complain.
-Yeah... I was practicing when my baby just decided to show up and confess to me.
-Still... you are sweaty – you insisted, even though him calling you his ‘baby’ affected you.
-Well... don't you think it is sexy? - he suggested, smirking at you.
This was the second time you got red as a tomato. That's it. You couldn't win against him. He was too much, too much and your braincells weren’t keeping up with him.
-You're red as hell. Does that mean you really find it sexy? - he got closer to you, smirk still there.
-Ahh! Stop it! - you touched your cheeks in hope they'd go back to normal - Pervert!
-The one with wild imagination here is you - he said back and laughed at your reaction. Your ears becoming red like your face.
-You are mean.
-I'm sorry, but it's just too funny to tease you - he giggled.
-If you think you really know what turns me on, then why don't you do it instead of talking? Less words, more action - you demanded, pushing him back and sitting on his lap.
-Can I? – his tone got serious, but the stupid grin was still there.
-You ask? - You said back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and kissing him again.
You didn't even know where you got so much confidence to say that to him, but maybe Suyeon was right, you wouldn't be going home that night.