Things you’d do with Chan’s muscles and he would get shy about it:
Asking him to choke you with his biceps
You sit next to him on the couch when he is working on his computer. Then out of the blue, you ask him
“Can you… choke me with your biceps?”
Chan freezes, his fingers stop typing, then he looks at you, not believing in what he just heard
“You said what?!”
You look at him— his eyes are wide, face red
“W-wha… That’s not… That’s dangerous! I mean…”
You giggle, “Just gently, you know”
He covers his face with both hands, laughing so hard it almost hurts.
“You’re actually insane, oh my god”, he grumbles through his fingers, “I can’t do that! I can't marry you if you don't have a neck!”
He gives in, tho. But he regrets it immediately.
Licking his veins
He’s in the kitchen making dinner. His sleeves are pushed up.
You walk by, grab his wrist mid conversation, and just give his veiny forearm a long, slow lick.
Chan drops the spoon he was holding.
“Yn!”
His entire face gets flushed like a tomato, and he steps back like your touch burned him
“What was that?!”
“You looked delicious”, you say before winking.
“No, no, no, you can’t just say that, I’m cooking! There’s kimchi on the stove!”
He keeps mumbling something to himself for the next ten minutes like he’s trying to reset his nervous system.
Hiding his shirts when he is at your place
He comes out of the shower with a towel around his hips, hair dripping as he looks for his shirt. But all he can find is an empty drawer.
“Wait… where're my shirts? I swear I left them here”
“Did you?”, you ask pretending you have nothing to fo with that
“Yeah”
“Maybe it didn’t want to be worn, you know?”
Chan spins toward you, “You did not hide it again…”
but the small mischievous smile you try to hold back gives you, “Babe!”
He starts searching for his shirt between the couch cushions frantically
“You’re so evil”, he says as he lets a nervous laugh escape,
“I’m just appreciating art”, you tease
“STOP THAT!” he says, covering his body with his hands
Using his ass as a pillow
He’s lying on his stomach when you lay down and rest your head on his butt like it’s the comfiest pillow in the world.
“Are you on my ass right now??”
“Yep”
“Like… cheek to cheek?”
You laugh, “Exactly”
“Babe! That’s my butt! That’s not a pillow! There are bones in there! You’re gonna end up dislocateing something!”
“It’s perfect. Stay still”
He groans, “I am being used. Literally”
But he doesn’t move, he just lays there smiling, shyly, ears red, as he mumbles, “You’re insane. So fucking insane. You’re lucky I love you”
Suck on his strong neck muscles when he’s holding back moans
He’s on top, trying to be composed. His neck in exposed, asking to be kissed. So you pull him down and suck the sensitive flesh
Chan chokes on his own moan.
“B–babe please... not there, I can’t hold back if...”
You switch sides, biting it.
His arms give out and he buries himself in you
“Fuck, I’m gonna lose it... babe"
You lick that spot again.
Things Chan'd do with his muscles and still would get shy about it:
Showing his forearms strength by holding you down against his face:
You’re teasing him, hovering above his face while he’s lying back, smirking like he’s not already twitching below you.
He suddenly grips your thighs tightly and pulls you down until your core is against his mouth.
You gasp, hands coming to the wall to steady yourself.
He moans against you like he’s starving. His strong forearms flex, veins pulse, as he keeps you there
You buck, you tremble, and he still doesn’t let you go.
When you finally come, he gently loosens his grip and looks up at you. His face is soaked, and red
It only takes a second for him to realize what he's done and buries his face in your stomach and mumble,
“I can’t believe I just did that... oh my god”
Pinning you to the wall and placing his strong thigh between your legs (just right there 🤭)
He kisses you once, hot, possessive, and suddenly you’re pressed against the wall, his hands on your waist, thigh pushing between your legs like he’s been thinking about it all day.
“Just grind on me”, he whispers
Your eyes widen, "Since when are you this bold?”
“Just do it”, he demands.
Of course you obeye him. You moan against his neck as you ride his thigh, feeling it flex under you.
He moves his hips too, just enough for him to hear the slick sound of your arousal against his skin
You both fall apart clinging to each other, until you finally slide down his body, panting, and he holds you.
That’s when he realizes what just happened
He covers his face and laughs, “I’m so embarrassed. Why did I do that?!”
Cuddling you while sleeping naked just "out of comfort"
“It’s too hot", he says as he slides in bed completely naked
You twitch your head to the side slightly, “No boxers?”
“Nope”
He snuggles behind you, wraps his arms around your waist, and pulls you against him so his bare chest presses to your back and thighs tangle with yours— you can feel everything.
And the worst part is— he’s half hard.
“Chan…”
“It’s just for comfort, babe", he insists, but you can feel he is not breathing evenly.
You reach behind and stroke his thigh just to feel him twitch under your touch
A groan is muffled against your shoulder
“You know this is gonna end in sex, right?”
"I was hoping you'd say that", he confeses
He hides under the blanket after, whining, “I swear it was just for comfort"
Pulling you against his chest while fucking you from behind so you feel his abs against your back
You’re on all fours and he’s thrusting slowly and deeply behind you.
Then he leans forward, wraps his arms around you and pulls you up.
You’re upright, back pressed to his sweaty chest, and you can feel every single muscle of his abs as it tenses with every thrust.
He wraps a hand on your throat, the other on your stomach
“Feel what you do to me?”, he whispers into your ear, "Feel how feral I get from fucking you like this"
You don't last longer
And when it’s over, he suddenly hides his face in the pillow
“I must have been out of my mind! Why did I say that?! You’re going to tease me forever now”
Jeongin's version Ateez version
Hyunjin's version Changbin's version
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dom chan and his s/o who loves pink, ribbons and just have an innocent look
Your pink mini dress sways delicately around your thighs as you unlock the front door, Chan’s hand planted firmly at the small of your back. You’d looked perfect all night, with your soft makeup, delicate heels, and that heart-shaped bow in your hair that he hadn’t stopped staring at.
He doesn't say much as you step inside; he just closes the door behind you and watches you from the entryway with a dark grin on his face. “You wore that just to test me, didn’t you?” he finally says.
You blink. “What?”
“That dress,” he replies with a dark chuckle. “That little bow in your hair and that innocent look you give me all night like you don’t know what it does to me.”
You fidget under his gaze, because you do know. That’s the whole reason you wore it. “You like it?” you ask, soft and teasing while you let the dress flutter around your soft skin again, gaining his attention.
He smiles slowly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His hands are already on you, his fingers sliding possessively around your waist, thumbs pressing into your hips with a little more force than usual.
“No,” he says, leaning in close, lips grazing your ear. “I love it, but I don’t think you deserve to get away with it.”
Your breath catches when you hear that edge in his voice, it's low, calm, and dangerous in the best way, and it makes your knees weak. His hand slips under the hem of your dress, dragging up slowly. “So pretty,” he murmurs. “So soft. So polite.”
You shiver as his hands explore your body, not in a rushed way but intentionally. Everywhere he touches feels hotter. “People see you and think you're sweet,” he says, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes.
“But I see the way you look at me when you're needy. I know what you sound like when you're begging.”
You press your thighs together. He notices, of course, and smiles like he’s won. “You’re not fooling me, baby. That pretty pink dress is coming off. And you’re not leaving this room until you remember who you belong to.”
And just like that, the bow slips loose, and the dress follows not long after with it.
18) You have a blind date planned with a member of your bias group. When that member is running late, your bias steps in.
Pairing: Stray Kids Bang Chan x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Song rec as you read: That's Okay - D.O
.
You arrived fifteen minutes early because you always do.
Something could be said for the small comfort of not having to rush into what would be an unknown situation.
You had picked the Italian restaurant you were currently sitting in for much of the same reason. Sure, the food wasn't exactly fantastic, but you had been there before, and it was casual enough to make it seem like you weren't trying too hard (while being nice enough to show you were taking this date seriously.)
When you arrived, the waiter had led you to a quaint table near the window, clearly meant for a couple who intended to talk past dinner and into dessert. Fifteen minutes ago, you had thought it could be that kind of night as well.
Hyunjin had agreed to meet you at 7PM. By his reasoning, he didn't have much of a schedule that day, so he should have no issue making it work. Admittedly, you didn't know what exactly his schedule entailed, seeing as how your best friend, Min had set most of this up. Hyunjin was a mystery to you, just a name attached to a phone number.
At 7:03, you smoothed your napkin against your thigh and tried to remind yourself: It's only three minutes. People are late. It's not personal.
By 7:12, you had read the menu three times without actually digesting a single word of it.
By 7:23, you got the first text.
Hyunjin: running late. parking is a nightmare! 10 min out
Ten minutes was nothing. You had waited twenty already.
The waiter came by yet again, always polite, not pushy. "Can I get you something other than water?"
You looked down at the glass that already had condensation rings staining the table, a silent signal of how long you had sat. Trying to keep your emotions in check, you blinked up before addressing him.
Pasting on a smile that you knew would not appear natural you managed. "I'm alright for now. Thank you."
By 7:41, you were all but crushed. The quiet sting of embarrassment threatened to cause your tear ducts to mutiny. You couldn't even be angry, you were just...deflated.
For a moment, you found yourself cursing your own optimism. You hadn't really minded the idea of a blind date. After all, how were you expected to randomly stumble upon your soul mate in the wild? Something about this all had its appeal and to see it blow up in your face...
It's not like you felt either way about Hyunjin. You'd never met him. Min had set you up, swearing the two of you would click instantly.
The first step to that, of course, was to have him actually show up.
Tapping your phone on the table, you contemplated whether you actually wanted to engage in texting him again or just call it a night.
"Excuse me," a voice broke through the spiral of your thoughts. "Is this seat taken?"
Your breath caught before your mind could actually register the person in front of you. It wasn't Hyunjin.
Quickly flipping through your mental filing cabinet of people you had met, you landed on an answer.
His name was Chan.
You had only met once or twice before. He was another of Min's friends. While Hyunjin had generally remained elusive, Chan often showed up for any housewarming or party your friend put together. He seemed kind, reliable, someone she probably should have thought of before sidling you with a "free spirit."
And now he was here?
Tilting your head, words failed you as you took him in. He was dressed relatively casually, in a t-shirt with long sleeves underneath. He wore light washed jeans and sneakers. His outfit was low effort and casual, giving his handsome features the ability to really shine through.
You blinked. "I-I'm waiting for someone?"
You hadn't meant for the end of that sentence to tilt up at the end into a question, but you supposed it was still valid. You didn't really know if you were waiting for someone anymore.
"Hyunjin?" he smiled knowingly, sliding into the seat before you.
"How did you know?" you asked, trying to swallow down the embarrassment even further.
Chan held up his phone, his smile growing into a grimace. "Min texted me. She said you were here...and I quote..." He glanced to his phone screen. ""They're being too polite to leave, but they sound like they want to throw themselves into traffic.""
Your eyes grew wide as you looked from his phone to your own. Min had definitely sent you several texts to check in, but you hadn't expected for her to call in back up.
You couldn't help it as a rasp of a laugh escaped from your lips. "She's not wrong. I was actually about to leave, and rage order some delivery to get to my apartment before I did."
Chan lifted his brows. "I completely understand if you'd like to go home to just decompress and be alone...however, I do have another offer."
Narrowing your eyes, you waited for him to continue.
"You can eat your feelings in the comfort of your own home OR join me for something that is not this place."
Looking around you, you loosened a sigh. You found it amusing that Chan had been sitting here less than five minutes and could already pick up just how badly you wanted to leave. A simple restaurant that had been your go to for specific situations was now tainted. Even if it wasn't a terribly big deal, you wouldn't help but think of it as "that place you got stood up at" going forward.
"What did you have in mind?"
Chan's grin filled his face again. "7/11, sidewalk seating, and if you play your cards right, I may even spring for banana milk."
You considered him, then the cold breadbasket in front of you, and lastly your phone.
Ding.
Hyunjin: ugh. something came up. mind if we reschedule? i'm soooo sorry
You stared at the message for a moment, your mind blank with irritation. Tapping the lock button, you slipped your phone into your bag.
Standing, you nodded. "Lead the way."
.
The summer air wrapped around you like a warm scarf as you walked side-by-side with Chan, the glow of storefronts and late-night coffee shops painting his face in a rainbow of color. The city was buzzing with activity as people spilled out of restaurants and laughter floated above the hum of traffic. The sights and sounds were oddly comforting, making you feel like you were a small part of a living thing.
Side eying you without saying a word, Chan reached down. Intertwining your fingers, he smiled to himself before looking up again.
It was now your turn to look at the hand that now encapsulated yours.
Well...alright.
You tried to remind yourself to remain cool. He wasn't as much of a stranger as Hyunjin would have been, and you wouldn't have been surprised for him to hold your hand had he been here. What about this was so different?
"So did Min dial you in as my back up date?"
"Like she has a litany of men on speed dial just for the occasion?"
You felt your cheeks grow hot.
"She was complaining to me about how Hyunjin flaked," Chan smiled, still not looking at you directly. "And I happened to be in the area."
"You decided to show up all on your own?"
The resulting squeeze to your hand was enough of an answer.
A comfortable silence descended on the two of you, but it wasn't long until you reached your destination.
"After you," Chan hummed, holding the convenience store door open.
Inside, the store was fluorescent and familiar. Bright packaging, pastel drinks, and a small, refrigerated section with perfectly symmetrical food trays stacked and ready for the taking. Unsure of where to start, you idled toward the cooler, hovering in front of your choices.
Chan reached in immediately, grabbing two sets of sushi without hesitation.
"You've done this before," you smirked.
"Oh, absolutely," he nodded. "This is date number...seven, I think?"
You opened your mouth before closing it and trying again. "Seven?"
It was now his turn to smile. "With myself."
You laughed, throwing caution to the wind and grabbing a tray at random. You followed Chan to the register where he added two cans of peach sparkling water and a pack of peanut snacks "for dessert."
Trailing him outside, Chan led you to a quiet side street tucked beside a bakery that had closed for the night. There was a little patch of grass, a low concrete step, and a view of the bustling street adjacent to you. Chan sat first, offering his hand to help lower you down. Plopping unceremoniously beside him, you watched as he carefully spread out the food as if on a picnic.
He cracked open your drink and passed it over. "Sorry, I know it's not necessarily what you had planned for the night."
You tapped your drink lightly against his. "I should be the one apologizing to you."
"For what?" he asked. "Coming with me to do exactly what I was planning to do anyhow?"
You rolled your eyes. "For making you feel bad enough to include me."
"No," he smiled softly, his eyes lingering on you before he finally looked down to his sushi. "I'm happy you gave me the chance"
The first bite was better than it had any right to be. The rice was somehow still slightly warm, the salmon buttery, and the soy sauce packets not overly salty. You both ate in silence for a moment, heads bent like kids in a cafeteria until Chan glanced back up at you.
"You don't have to answer this," he started. "But were you actually excited about the date with Hyunjin? Or was this a "sure, why not" situation?"
You chewed slowly, considering. "Honestly? Somewhere in between. I wasn't expecting any immediate fireworks, but I thought...maybe it'd be nice."
Chan nodded. "I've agreed to dates for the promise of less."
"Yeah?" you asked, furrowing your brows.
"You see," he said quietly. "The problem with having low self-esteem is that you agree to almost anyone who propositions you. I once agreed to a date where the person showed up to the cafe with their mom. They were in their late 20's."
"I'm sorry, what?" you gasped, trying not to choke on your food.
He shook his head. "I panic ate an entire croissant just to avoid eye contact."
"No, no, no, not that," you chuckled. "But yes, that does suck. What do you mean you have low self-esteem? You're gorgeous."
Lifting a brow he gave you an incredulous look. "Self-esteem isn't always measured by your outward appearance."
You chewed on your lip, unsure if your comment was shallow or not.
Chan heaved a sigh. "Not to get existential or self-deprecating, but I have a lot of thoughts on myself, how I interact with others, and the way I generally conduct my life. It's a lot to reconcile when facing something that seems as easy as dating."
You nodded, beginning to understand. "You're scared to show your true self to someone, just to be turned away."
"Ding, ding, ding," he chuckled. "We have a winner."
Taking a deep breath to bolster your confidence, you reached over and set your hand on his knee. Giving a small squeeze, you chanced direct eye contact. "Winner in more ways than one."
Chan's smile was slow, but it eventually took over before he looked away, back at his food.
There was a pause, but just like any before, still pleasant.
Chan set his tray aside and leaned back on his hands, straightening his legs. "If I continue being honest, will I scare you away?"
You huffed a laugh before setting your food aside as well. Something in his tone had shifted, so you weren't exactly sure what was coming.
"I take silence as a yes," he nodded before it turned into a head shake. "But only in this one situation. Silence is never consent-"
"Chan!" you blurted. "While appreciated that you recognize that, please continue."
He glanced up to the sky, seeming to search the stars for the words he hadn't yet said.
"I've kind of been hoping I would run into you again," he said quietly. "After Min's housewarming...I couldn't get you out of my head. You were wearing this green sweater and making silly little jokes to calm her down about her lack of a turn out."
"You remembered what I had on?" you asked, mouth quirking into a half smile.
Chan shrugged. "It was a nice sweater."
The world seemed to narrow a little, not in a claustrophobic way, but in that soft, quiet tunnel you get when something real is about to start. You reached out, stealing a piece of sushi from his tray mostly to ground yourself.
"You know," you said, chewing. "This could have been a really crappy night."
Chan nodded, turning his attentions from the sky back to you. "Could've been for both of us."
"But now..." you trailed off.
He tilted his head. "Now?"
You met his gaze and smiled slowly. "Now it feels like a real date."
Chan watched you for a beat before leaning forward just enough so that you could meet him halfway if you wanted to.
Oh, and you wanted to.
The kiss was gentle, unhurried. It wasn't showy or dramatic, just a moment of warmth pressed into your mouth, like something shared in a secret. His hand grazed your knee, tentative but not unsure, and when he pulled back, he stayed close enough that you could feel his breath against your cheek.
"Okay," he whispered. "Maybe I owe Hyunjin a thank you."
You laughed against his shoulder. "Maybe I owe him one too."
The night stretched out before you, wide and open and impossibly full. Somewhere between being stood up and a convenience store picnic, something wonderful had happened. It wasn't what you expected, but maybe, it was what you'd been waiting for all along.
More than I thought - Bang Chan/Chris from SKZ Scenario Series
Part One — Slow Beginnings
Wordcount: 1712
Warnings/Heads-up: YN is afab and referred to as she/her. YN is implied to be able to speak at least two languages. YN is an online, sort of “our little secret,” established artist. Mentions of manipulation. Mentions of Chris seeking control. Mentions of Chris being assertive. YN is implied to be able to drive. YN is an empath who excuses herself unexpectedly. Mentions of drinking, members but not Chris. Implied drunk driving. Implied driving under the influence. Alcohol use around sober characters. Emotional influence within work/collaboration dynamics.
Chris learned early that silence was never empty. In studios, it carried intent. In people, it carried truth.
He first noticed YN because she didn’t rush to fill it.
Someone at the company had said, She thinks the way you do.That alone had been enough to get Chris’s attention.
She wasn’t unknown. Her name had circulated through internal meetings months before she ever stepped into the studio. A songwriter with a following built almost entirely online. No underground fame or shows, just experimental videos, unpolished visuals, and songs that didn’t follow structure so much as orbit it. The kind of work that lingered with listeners long after the sound stopped.
The collaboration was designed to be collective, something for the band. An experimental B-side that could afford to be strange without consequence. When YN finally arrived, she didn’t carry herself like someone stepping into a room full of reputations. An actual paper notebook in hand, headphones looped securely around her arm, her accent still settling into the language like it hadn’t decided where to land yet.
She listened more than she spoke. Maybe it was the Korean language barrier, but she listened just as intently when the conversation was in English, a language she obviously mastered enough to write poetry and lyrics in. She did throw in an occasional teasing or lighthearted comment every now and then, but it was more endearing than anything, at least that’s how Chris saw it.
Her contributions were decisive but not overthrowing. Lyrics were offered like open-ended thoughts, melodies like suggestions instead of demands. When something stalled, she didn’t force resolution; she let it breathe, then quietly adjusted everything around it.
The members warmed to her quickly. Felix admitted he’d watched her videos before. Seungmin said something about always wanting to cover one of her songs. She laughed at that, a little embarrassed, as if she hadn’t expected the work she’d made alone in her bedroom to follow her this far.
Chris observed from a practiced distance, slowly satisfying his curiosity about this person he’d heard so much about and been internally compared to a little too much for his own liking, only to notice a stark difference in reality.
The more time they spent working together, the more their differences revealed themselves. On paper, their instincts aligned, similar tastes in texture, in restraint, in leaving things unfinished when finishing them would cheapen the feeling. But where Chris moved with certainty, YN moved with consideration.
He decided. She gathered.
If Chris wanted to strip a chorus down to nothing but a pulse and breath, he said it once and began cutting tracks. YN would stop him, not to argue, but to ask what everyone else heard in it. She listened as opinions moved through the room, even when her own mind was already made up. More than once, Chris realized she’d guided them toward the same conclusion he’d reached, the same one she wanted, only by a longer, quieter, and more consensual route.
At first, it unsettled him. It felt like manipulation.
Maybe because she didn’t openly seek control, yet still obtained it eventually, something he was always after. She treated collaboration as something alive, something that needed space to move. Slowly, he learned to wait before speaking, to let her process shape the room.
So naturally, the track took its time, with late night sessions, sudden mind changes, and having to find the time to squeeze it into the boys’ busy schedules. YN admitted to never having taken longer than two days to shape and structure a song with lyrics, melody, and all, and that the recording part was what usually drained her. But here she noticed that more people meant more ideas, and hence “more time to cook,” as she described it. She complimented 3Racha’s work process and the team’s good spirit in general, for being able to agree on so many songs in order to release so many albums in relatively short periods of time, with some exceptions regarding agreement, like their song I Like It, for instance.
When the “collab” song was finished somewhere around two months later, it didn’t sound like anything else SKZ had previously released, yet it was similar in the way it didn’t beg to be understood. It trusted the listeners and their interpretation of it.
The response surprised everyone.
It never chased charts, but it didn’t disappear either. STAYs lingered over it, pulled it apart online, talking about atmosphere, restraint, the way it felt like a conversation rather than a statement. Somewhere in those discussions, YN’s name began to surface, not as a feature, not as an accessory, but as a presence and as an artist.
The company noticed.
Suddenly, she wasn’t just working with them. She was booked into other studios, other sessions, with other groups working on different genres, all under the same roof.
Chris saw her less often compared to when they had a work in progress. When he did, it was in passing, headphones slung on her arm and a notebook in hand, with her signature over-the-shoulder bag. She’d wave at him and go to her next session, expression friendly and calm, like she knew where she was going even if she hadn’t decided how she’d get there yet.
He somehow found himself thinking of her. She didn’t chase attention. Didn’t brand herself, let alone her music. She worked. Listened. Left rooms better than she found them. There was a quiet confidence in that, one Chris hadn’t expected to admire as much as he did.
Soon her name began to become a constant in the company. Regular songwriting sessions with producers, often with members, but with SKZ’s fully armed arsenal and three creative brains always working on music, there wasn’t really much room for further collaborations, especially after that one song.
Nonetheless, YN was to be officially welcomed into the company’s team. Even if she was a contractor, she had contributed so much during the last comeback season with all JYPE groups and artists. So after discussing it with her and respecting her wish of “nothing fancy,” the company suggested a late night creative session that would casually turn into takeout and drinks, chatting and welcoming YN to the JYP family.
It was a small celebration, just a few members of the groups YN had worked with, including SKZ, and a few key staff. Low pressure, casual, almost indulgent. Music had been laid down, and for the first time in weeks, there was room to breathe. Light chatter drifted from the corner of the studio where takeout boxes had been set, glasses clinking softly as someone toasted to the work they’d done.
Sometime later, YN lingered near the large windows, the city sprawling in lights she didn’t yet know. Her soda in hand. Chris approached curiously, not unlike his friendly nature.
-“It’s buzzing even at this late hour, isn’t it?”
-“It is!”, smiled YN. “I still haven’t really seen anything outside this building,” she said, her voice quiet but steady. “Since I came here, it’s been work, work, work. I haven’t even had time to check out the city, but I hear it’s cool.”
-“Well, almost the same here. I’ve been in the city for years and I don’t really get the chance to do much exploring. It comes with the job, I guess,” he said lightheartedly.
-“Oh, of course, that was insensitive of me.” replied YN, appearing troubled. “Of course you haven’t either, especially with how likely you are to get flash mobbed. Sorry if that bothered you in any way!”
Her reply shocked Chris. Although he thought it was very empathetic and observant of her, it did throw him off guard. He found it endearing.
-“Not at all, why would you say that? I mean, sure, it’s bothersome sometimes, but for that I get to live the way I do, so no need for you to apologize!”
That’s when Lee Know chimed in, a little drunk but just as appealing. “Well, don’t let this ahjussi kill the mood for you. How about we show you a little around the city? Our manager hyungs will be driving us back to the dorm. I’m sure a little detour wouldn’t harm anyone, and we’ll show you around Seoul. Maybe little old Bang Chan can enjoy the views a bit too!”
YN giggled, amused by Lee Know’s offer, which was then doubled by Han, who tagged along, a little tipsy himself, saying, “Yeah, yeah, YN, don’t be so wound up. We’ve got two vans lined up for us. We can give you a ride back to your place. You can at least see a little on the way.”
YN didn’t see any point in refusing. She didn’t have her international driving permit yet and was relying on ride sharing apps to get from the company to the small apartment she’d gotten after signing the contract. “Sure, why not, as long as neither of you is driving!” she chuckled.
Chris felt a little joyful knowing that he was going on a sort of mini road trip with YN. He felt weird, even childish about his joy, but accepted it nonetheless. The girl was nice, pretty, and talented. It made sense if he felt a tad bit attracted to her.
As it was time to depart, the members were loading the vans, and Chris, while busy discussing plans for an upcoming schedule, overheard someone offering the front passenger seat to YN as if it were a throne, so she could enjoy the views some more.
The members were all a little drunk except for Chris, who hadn’t drunk anything alcoholic, much like YN. He decided to sit behind her. The managers were driving, and he felt a bit relieved that they weren’t also drunk, sparing him from carrying the weight of being YN’s first tour guide in Seoul.
The city’s lights passed the car windows, flickering and unfamiliar to both of them. For a moment, everything felt oddly familiar, the hum of the engine, the glow of the streets, the quiet chatter and occasional giggle from the members, and the quiet awe in her eyes reflected in the side-view mirror. No one could expect how life could tilt in a matter of moments.
Chan has always had trouble sleeping. Nights are long, his mind a relentless whirl of responsibilities, melodies, and thoughts he can never quite shut off. He’s tried everything—warm baths, calming teas, even those sleep stories people swear by. But nothing seems to quiet the noise in his head. He lies awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on him.
Tonight is no different. The silence of the dorm is deafening, and the emptiness of his bed feels like a reminder of everything he carries alone. His chest tightens with the familiar ache of exhaustion, the kind that doesn't just settle in your bones but seeps into your soul. He’s so tired, but sleep continues to elude him.
It’s in this state, somewhere between desperation and defeat, that Chan finds himself standing outside Changbin’s door. He hesitates, feeling a pang of guilt. He’s the leader, the one who should be strong, dependable. But right now, all he wants is to feel like he’s not alone in this. He knocks softly, almost hoping Changbin won’t hear. But of course, Changbin does.
When Changbin opens the door, sleep still clinging to his eyes, he doesn't say a word. He takes one look at Chan and understands. Without a second thought, he reaches out, gently pulling Chan into his room, into his arms. The door clicks shut behind them, sealing off the outside world, and Chan lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
The room is dimly lit, shadows softening the edges of everything. But in Changbin’s arms, everything feels sharp, real. His warmth is immediate, and Chan sinks into it, pressing his face against Changbin’s neck. He breathes in the familiar scent of him—something comforting and safe—and it soothes the frayed edges of his mind.
Changbin's hands slide up Chan’s back, his touch firm yet tender, grounding him. “You’re okay,” Changbin whispers, his voice low and intimate, meant only for Chan. “I’ve got you.”
The words unravel something deep within Chan. He wraps his arms tighter around Changbin, pulling him impossibly closer, as if by holding on like this, he can finally silence the chaos inside him. Changbin doesn’t resist. Instead, he guides them both to the bed, moving slowly, carefully, as if understanding that Chan is fragile in this moment.
They lie down, bodies pressed together in the quiet of the room. Chan feels every point of contact—the steady rise and fall of Changbin’s chest, the warmth of his skin, the way their legs tangle together naturally. Changbin’s hand comes up to cradle the back of Chan’s head, fingers threading through his hair in slow, soothing strokes.
“You don’t have to carry it all alone,” Changbin murmurs, his breath warm against Chan’s temple. “Not here. Not with me.”
The words hit Chan deeply, breaking through the barriers he’s built around himself. His breath catches, and for the first time in a long while, he feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes. He’s always been strong, always been the one to hold everyone else together. But here, in Changbin’s arms, he feels like it’s okay to let go. Just for a moment.
The tears come slowly, silently, and Changbin feels them before he sees them. He doesn’t pull away. Instead, he holds Chan tighter, pressing soft kisses to his forehead, his cheek, anywhere he can reach. His touch is gentle, reverent, each kiss a quiet promise that Chan isn’t alone, that he’s loved.
“It’s okay,” Changbin whispers again, his voice soft and sure. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Chan nods against Changbin’s chest, his tears soaking into the fabric of Changbin’s shirt, but he doesn’t care. He’s never felt more vulnerable, but in this moment, it feels right. It feels safe. He clings to Changbin, letting himself be held, letting himself be comforted.
They lie like that for a long time, the world outside forgotten. The steady rhythm of Changbin’s heartbeat beneath his ear slowly lulls Chan into a state of calm he hasn’t felt in what seems like forever. His breathing evens out, and for the first time in weeks, his mind isn’t racing with a million thoughts. It’s just him and Changbin, tangled up together in the quiet intimacy of the night.
As sleep finally begins to claim him, Chan realizes that this is what he’s been needing all along. Not just rest, but the feeling of being cared for, of being loved without conditions or expectations. In Changbin’s arms, he doesn’t have to be the leader, the strong one. He can just be Chan. And that’s enough.
With one last contented sigh, Chan drifts off to sleep, feeling safe, cherished, and more at peace than he’s been in a long time. And as he sleeps, Changbin holds him close, never letting go, watching over him with a quiet, unwavering devotion.
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Note: idk if anyone is actually going to read this because I haven't posted in like 10 months so yeah but rusty but genuinely enjoy writing this so much
Summary: You were a great student, and Chan was struggling, bad. This is what happened when you tried to reduce his stress by 'studying.'
Time was nothing but a mindless construct for you and the many young individuals that attended college. Prestigious or not, it was deep into the second semester of your second year, and if you had to look at one more textbook about a specification type of referencing, you were going to explode.
Being a psychology major was something you had worked toward for a long time. Having a job that nurtured people back to optimal health and wellbeing was something that always felt nice on the tip of your tongue. Nice to tell people, nice to give to people. That didn’t mean it did not come with its challenges. Researching, literature reviews, group assignments… It was hard and enduring work.
It was helpful that by the end of the first year you had discovered others on the same greuling yet rewarding path. Having a decent support system was essential, especially when traveling to the other side of the world to study. The 4 boys and two girls, who would be named Felix, Changbin, Hyunjin, Chan, Mina and Lia would be the be all and end all for you. Crying together, partying together, doing everything together. Traveling to South Korea was difficult at first. Adapting to the culture and language, so having them by your side got you to where you were today. Life is stressful currently, but then again, things could be worse.
**
“Okay class, this is the last class for the semester, so if you have any questions, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
You listened eagerly, wanting to pick up on any tips or tricks necessary to ace the exam. Cognitive psychology was a piece of cake to you, so this exam was in the bag. The others… not as much. Changbin and Felix were pretty good, thanks to Lia helping them every other day, and Mina only liked to study alone, got too distracted by the lot of you which to be fair, isn’t hard. You were a loud group. Most of the time you studied on your own as well, the occasional time with Felix if he was bored or needed to catch up on notes from readings (and by catching up on notes, basically just stealing yours). But most of your time was spent with Chan. He was good, but always needed a little bit of extra help. He was kind of whisked into psychology, not really sure what he wanted to do. Therefore, Chan had little to no background before coming into the degree.
“Ms, is Piaget theory required for this exam?”
“Tsk, yes Chan,” she replied, much disdain to her tone, “have you not been listening to anything for the past 6 weeks?”
Tiny giggles permeated through the room after the professor's sarcastic response. It made your skin crawl, and not in a good way. It was quite rude if anything. Chan laughed it off as well. He was the type to just laugh things off, but you could tell on his face that he was nothing but serious when asking his question. His ears began to turn red, sinking into his chair simultaneously.
Luckily the bell rang, and you had never seen someone zoom out of a classroom as fast as Chan did. You chase after him, wanting to make sure he was okay and not feeling completely humiliated. It felt like a marathon, you were very much out of breath by the time you caught up to him. Slapping a hand on his shoulder, he turned around, the unintentional force causing him to face you.
“Jesus christ Chan,” you stumbled, completely out of breath, “why did you have to run so fast?”
You looked, a weak chuckle coming from his lips, a single tear simultaneously dripping out of the corner of his eyes. Your smile faded, beginning to feel really bad for your poor friend.
“Sorry Y/n,” he whispered, wiping it away quickly with the sleeve of his hoodie, “you’ve caught me at a bad time.”
You motioned to the bench next to you, sitting next to him as you rubbed his back in circular motions. Chan was such an intelligent individual, it made you feel sorrow when he doubted himself, and this was one of those moments.
“Oh Chan don’t even worry about that,” you cooed, “she’s been rude all semester, definitely had a stick up her ass or something because I have no idea what her problem is.”
That made him giggle, turning to you and grabbing your hand as a silent thank you.
“Yeah you're right aha. I’m really struggling with the cognitive stuff though, and I have no idea how I’m going to do this exam.”
The other, who moved at a normal, not heart attack inducing pace, finally caught up to the two of you,lips pouted and solemn as they noticed Chan was having a down moment.
“Aw Chan it’s ok,” Felix hummed, giving him a bright smile, “we will all help you, promise.”
“Yeah,” Changbin chimed in, “let’s have a study session at Chan’s, tomorrow, 3pm good for everyone?”
Everyone nodded in agreement, you and Chan following behind the rest. He grabbed your wrist, making you stop in your tracks, “Y/n, could you come an hour earlier? Just so I don’t sound like a complete idiot? Also, they’re kind of hard to keep up with. I like the way you explain things.”
You’d be lying if you said the skin on your arm was burning up. He didn’t know, too innocent to realize, but his praise had an effect on you, one too many times. You would like nothing more than to take care of him, in all the ways anyone could imagine. Wash his clothes, feed him an insurmountable quantity of food. Was his hair in the shower, lather his body in soap and just, well, you know. The chiseled state of his body was no secret. The many beach trips accounted for that. Chan was a very good looking man, one of the first things you noticed when Felix introduced you to his friends. However, it was something that you suppressed deep down. A romance was the last thing you needed.
Your cheeks follow a similar temperature. The thought almost made you dizzy. You blinked a couple of times, coming back to your senses and not trying to look out of the ordinary.
“Uh yes,” you shrieked, the attempt to act normal utterly dismissed, “of course. Anything to help you out.”
You continued to walk together, a million thoughts running through your mind as you attempted to keep them subtle, failing to rope them in and keep them at a minimal level.
**
To describe you as nervous was an understatement. Your hairbrush ran through your hair in a frustrating manner. You felt stupid, ridiculous even. If you had a dollar for every time you went to Chan’s dorm, you would be a millionaire, why did this time feel different? Looking at yourself in the mirror, you sighed, putting the last touches of your makeup before grabbing your keys and walking across campus, heading to your ‘friends’ door.
A gentle couple of knocks was all it took for you to be greeted by your handsome friend. His hair was swept back, forehead showing. His outfit was casual, black hoodie, black tracksuit pants. It was nothing different to what he usually wore, but he looked ten times hotter than usual.
“Y/n,” he groaned, “thank god you’re here.”
He dragged you inside, closing the door behind you. He began to pace back and forth, biting on his fingernails simultaneously.
“Chan slow down, what’s wrong?”
“I opened the textbook, and I can’t stop freaking out. Y/n I’m so stressed, why are you not pacing with me?”
“Because,” you laughed, gripping his forearms stopping him in his tracks, “by the end of the day, you will understand Piaget, and every other theory we need before the exam, okay?”
You were close, eyes piercing as you gave him a loss of reassurance. You weren’t sure if it was your mind playing tricks on you, but it felt like Chan was moving closer. His eyes began to bore into yours, holy fuck he was hot.
You broke away, not wanting to misinterpret anything. Taking a seat on his couch, you picked up his textbook, scanning and analyzing what he was trying to understand. Chan sat right next to you, thigh distractingly touching yours as you attempted to read. You could feel his gaze over his shoulder. The smell of his cologne flowing into your nostrils, becoming intoxicating. Your frustration began to increase. You knew that you were being unreasonable, but it was like he was trying to seduce you. You were already out of your mind, and nothing in the slightest of being sexual had occurred.
“Chan, I can hear your breathing down my neck.”
“Oh,” he moved away, “sorry, I didn’t mean to.”
“Are you sure?”
“What?”
You put the textbook down, turning your body to face him. The look of concern on his face, like the one you were met with when you opened the door had not disappeared. A look of disapproval now on yours.
“Can you please talk to me?”
“What do you want to know?”
“What exactly is stressing you out?”
A large sigh escaped his lips,
“I just feel like I’m failing. I had to convince my parents to live here instead of Australia, and I just feel like I’m not living up to what they expected.”
Your heart sank at his words. You sat there for two minutes of silence. You weren't sure what you could say that would be perfect and what he needed to hear, but it didn’t mean you wouldn’t attempt to.
“Chan I-”
“And I have other needs as well.”
At first you were confused, completely unsure of what he referred to. Your mind was ticking once again, rummaging to what he referred to. But when it came to your mind, your eyes widened, mouth dropping before you spoke.
“Oh, I get what you mean.”
“Yeah.”
Another couple of minutes of silence passed as you looked around, refusing to make eye contact with each other. An idea popped into your mind, but it was way too inappropriate to ask. You wanted to help him so badly though, a proposition if you will. It was such a fine line to cross. It really was inappropriate, but the innocent look on his face was triggering something in you, sparking your innermost fantasies and desires.
You don’t know what took over or what in your right mind possessed you to do what you did next, but time moved and all of a sudden you were on top of Chan, arms wrapped around his neck as you looked down at him, like a predator hunting his prey.
“You know, I can help you if you want?”
A large gulp was evident as it paced down his throat. He wasn’t sure what to say, him now analyzing if he himself was being too inappropriate to take you upon your proposition. His hands spread across your rear, gently nudging you forward. He was in unfamiliar territory, not sure how to proceed.
“Did you mean with studying or, you know, my needs?”
The look you gave him was priceless. It was amazing how genuinely oblivious Chan was sometimes. You got up from his lap, saying nothing and walking towards his room. He followed, closing the door behind him, even though nobody else was home.
“Sit on the bed.”
He did as he was told, legs spread wide at the edge. He always sat like this, and it turned you on, every single time. Chan, without knowing it, just looked so cocky, so arrogant, and fuck, did you used to like arrogant men. The ironic thing was that he was the complete opposite. Smart, kind, generous and warm to others. He was probably the only guy that you met that had all the qualities you looked for.
But that was irrelevant now. This moment wasn’t about how likable he was, it was about how hot he was. You took two steps closer, lifting your arms above your head and discarding your shirt. You could hear the audible gasp that escaped his lips, stunned by the way your chest looked. You did not assume that this would happen, therefore the reason why you had no bra on. You stood there, chest inline with his face as he watched you with so much intent. The way he was taking you in, drinking you up like a crisp, refreshing beverage. Chan, not a complete virgin, had little experience. He was a hard worker, never giving into his temptations. If anything, it kind of explained why he was so intense ¾ of the time. Nevertheless, it made your insides throb the way he gazes at you like you were the most beautiful woman on earth.
“If you don’t want this, talk now.”
You waited for what felt like 5 hours, but was really thirty seconds before he shook his head, vigorously. The notion made you smirk. His eyes remained wide, focusing nothing but the curve of your boobs. He went to lift his shirt, thinking it would be the right thing to do seeing as you were half naked yourself. But you said no,grabbing his wrists and placing them on your own zipper. His fingers gently shadowed yours, the sound of the zip the only noise filling the room. Stepping out of them quickly, simultaneously pulling your underwear off as well, another gasp escaped his lips. You were now fully nude, him fully clothed. There was something sick to you about getting off at the fact he was fully dressed and you were the opposite.
“Like what you see?”
“Mhm,” he gulped once more, “really, really beautiful.”
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, but that wasn’t the time for this. Dropping to your knees, your fingers began to fiddle with the drawstring of his own bottoms. It did take long, seeing as Chan liked to wear very baggy clothes. They came off in one swift motion, spreading his legs even farther apart so you could fit right in. He was already extremely hard, the sight of your tits getting even near his cock made him twitch. Looking up at him, his chest was visibly tense, like he was holding in a large breath.
It wasn’t until your hand gripped the base of his length, and you started pumping, was when his chest fell deeply, almost concave in. His facial expression still looked tense, however, you could tell it wasn’t a look of agony, it was quite the opposite. A small whine escaped from his lips when you added another hand, adding more friction to his cock and you began to pump him a little faster.
“Shit,” he mumbled under his breath, too embarrassed to allow you to hear his satisfaction. The muscles in his legs and arms were much looser than they were prior, and the fact that you were only using hands was absolutely blowing your mind. Your arousal was increasing. Seeing how pathetic and easy it was to turn Chan on.
“Is that good Chan?”
“Yes,” he breathed, barely able to get his words out, “that feels so good, fuck Y/n.”
The breathy tone of your name sent a shiver down your spine. It had been a while since someone made you feel like that. You felt like he needed to be rewarded. You maneuvered your body closer, but taking his hands off of his length, placing them on either sides of your chest as you took him in, watching his length slide in the crevice of your tits. Chan jumped out of his seat, jaw slack and dropping to the floor as he watched his extremely hard cock disappear in between your cleavage. Eyes remained on him, your core was throbbing harder, watching his face contour, eyebrows strongly furrowed; he was enjoying every single second of it. Your chest moved with anticipation, tongue sticking out to reach the slit of his tip every time it reached the peak of your cleavage.
“You’re so cute,” you smile, “you’re so pathetic you know, have you ever done this before?”
“No,” he moaned, hands already gripping his bed sheets forcefully, “you’re right, I’m so pathetic.”
“Oh you like that? You like when I take control?”
“Yes.”
“You’re such a good boy,” you coo, picking up your pace, “taking my tits so well aren’t you?” His head rolled back, eyes closed but looking like he was looking at the ceiling. It was almost as enjoyable for you as it was for him. The textures and ridges of your cock not going unnoticed. He felt amazing, and your mouth began to salivate because if he felt that good in between your tits, he would feel 10 times better inside of you. Chan came back to life, head snapping back into motion as he looked down at you, so much innocence yet corruption filled his being. You moved away, hearing the sound of disappointment come from Chan’s lips as you stood up.
Lifting a hand, you pushed him by the chest, laying him flat before crawling on top of him. Still sitting up, you hovered over intertwining your fingers with his and you lined yourself up with his cock. A sudden pang of doubt creeped into your mind. Was this the right thing to do? Did you feel the need to do this to satisfy your own wants and needs?
“Are you ready for this?”
He said nothing, only nodding because he knew that if he tried to speak, it would come out as a voice breaking murmur. Placing your hand on his shoulder, straightening your back, allowing yourself to sit on top of him. A small moan escaped your lips as your clit landed on his cock. That was fortunate. A hiss escaped him. Chan had been super patient until this point, it kind of made you feel guilty for making him wait. But another part of you kind of loved this almost sick power you had over him. He was so complicit, not doing anything and letting you take control. It felt rare, because most of your previous partners needed to have control.
“Do you mind if I do everything myself?”
His eyes never left yours, biting down on his bottom lip as he shook his head, eagerly waiting for you to get on with it. You lifted your hips once more, taking the hand that was intertwined and bringing it to the base of his length. A moan in unison, one of relief and gratification as he effortlessly slid into you. Chan was a decently hung man, but it didn’t matter anyways. You were already so wet and so turned on that fucking him would be a piece of cake.
“Fuck,” he cursed, eyes glued to your tits as the had a light bounce. You began to gently rock, not wanting to overwhelm him at a rapid rate. This was supposed to be relaxing for him, and it was, feeling his cock already twitching inside of you.
“You’re not going to cum are you?”
You leaned forward, pressing your lips softly against his. The electricity was great, moving with so much attention yet sensuality you slipped your tongue inside his mouth. A soft groan vibrated from his mouth the longer you kissed him. Breaking the kiss, he looked up at you, keen to answer your question
“No,” you whined, unsure what to do with his hands, “sorry I’m just so excited.”
“You’re excited?”
“Yes,” he replied looking back up at you, “I can lie and say I haven’t thought about this before?”
A mischievous gasp left your mouth at his words. The combination of him thinking about fucking you and actually fucking you was causing your body to heat up. The temperature in the room increased and the tension felt even thicker than before. You kept a slow pace at first, hands on his shoulders in your attempt to remain balanced. It truly was adorable at how into you he truly was in this moment.
“We can do this as many times as you want now baby,” you cooed, “this is only the beginning if you want it to be.”
You picked up speed a little not wanting to go too fast, but needing just enough friction and gratification to work towards your high. Chan was so immersed in you that his hands barely lingered across your hips. It had come to your attention that maybe he genuinely needed some assistance. It was clear that even though the agreement was that his stress relief was in the palm of your hands, it was important to him that for you, it was equally enjoyable.
“You know you can touch me,” you whispered, giving his palms a gentle nudge upwards. It didn’t take much, almost like his hands were in, or on, their most natural position; your tits. A gentle moan escaped your lips at the contrasting ice cold temperature of his fingertips lingering on your nipples. The long string of moans and gasps from Chan was becoming anything but adorable. Each noise he made aroused you even more. The gentle massage of his hands was delightful. It wasn’t the first time you had thought about this. Especially when you were frustrated, stressed, or having a dry spell, the physicality of Chan was always a lingering cognition. Always there to coax you through your sexual frustration. If anything, this became stress relief for the both of you. Chan because he was stressed out because he needed to pass the exam, and yourself because now you didn’t have to suppress the surplus of fantasies and desires that stayed awake in your mind.
“Mmm, how are you doing Chan?”
“So good,” he growled, “I don’t know if I can last much longer.”
A small giggle escaped your lips. Keeping your composure, but really you were grateful because you could feel the pit in the depth of your lower abdomen. Your orgasm was coming, and there was nothing you could do about it. Although you did all the work, his cock was hitting you in the exact spot you needed. The slapping of your ass against his groin was getting louder, and you rhythm faster yet a little erratic, the intensity of him starting to overwhelm you.
“Y/n, wait,” he paused, making you stop in your tracks, “I don’t want to cum in you.”
A pout puffed from your lips at his words.
“You don’t?”
“Well,” Chan gulped, “I would, but I didn’t think-”
Instead of letting him finish, your index finger was across his lips, completely shushing him.
“You shouldn’t assume things about me Mr. Bang.”
You picked your hips up again, leaning back on his knees he bucked your hips, rapidly feeling the strokes of Chan’s cock. You wanted him to cum, you wanted him to cum so badly. The way you were dying to see the face he made when he came, how he looked at you was your soul volition in this very moment.
“Are you gonna cum?”
“Fuck, Y/n please,” he moaned, his loudest noise yet.
He nodded, jaw slack open as you rode him like your life depended on it. His cock was twitching at a rapid rate, hipe gently bucking into yours as he felt his high coming.
“Would you like to cum in me?”
He nodded once more.
“Cum in me Chan, cum in me, come one baby, you can do it.”
Chan mouthing ‘fuck’ one more time, before completely blowing his load inside of you. His jaw cracked, distressed gasp strangling his throat as he grabbed your hips, controlling your speed as you milked him dry, your orgasm waving over you simultaneously.
“Oh my god,” you moaned, knowing Chan was guiding you through it, but at this point, you didn't even care. It felt too good to discipline him for not letting you do everything. You stood up, a sharp groan coming from you as you felt his seed drip out.
“Fuck, what if-”
“Don’t worry,” you interrupted once more, “I’m on the pill.”
A sigh of relief disappeared from his chest.
You lied down next to him, trying to catch your breath as he turned to look at you.
“How do you feel?”
“Y/n that was amazing?”
You chuckled at his admiration, turning to him and seeing the sweat condensate across his forehead. Wow, did you make him work up a sweat.
“Still stressed out?”
“Far from it.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it, hope I wasn’t too overpowering or anything.”
“Absolutely not,” he scoffed, “it was really fucking hot actually.”
Fuck. You kissed him again, really enjoying the validation of your feminine power over him. It was a nice moment, that was until you heard a knock on the door. Fuck. The two of you were so immersed in what you were doing, that you completely forgot about the study session with the others.
“Shit, uh, just put your clothes on, I’ll stall them.”
You nodded, quickly redressing yourself and heading to the bathroom. You cleaned yourself up, looking at the mirror and shit, did you kinda look like a mess. A pang of embarrassment hit your chest. How on earth were you supposed to just hang out with your friends, and act like you didn’t just fuck one of them. Nevertheless, there was no time to think about it, fixing your hair as much as you could before opening the door, and returning to the lounge where the others smirked at you when you walked in.
“Hey guys,” you smiled, choosing to ignore them, “what’s going on?”
“What are you already doing here?”
The two of you gave each other a quick look, praying to the lords that you came up with the same explanation.
“Oh me? I only got here like 5 minutes before you guys.”
“Oh you did,” Felix chimed in, sarcastically placing a hand on his chin, like a detective, “and Chan, why do you look almost sweaty?”
“Uh me, well I just had a shower before you guys got here. Then Y/n knocked about 10 minutes later.”
You shrugged, nervously chuckling and just praying they were taking this.
“Yeah come on baby, cum in me cum in me,” Felix added, making everyone burst into laughter. Your face was as red as a bunch of tomatoes. They heard everything. Fuck, this was embarrassing.
“You guys don’t have to lie, you know. We saw this coming from a mile away.”
“You did?” The two of you asked in unison, making the rest of them laugh again.
“I mean yeah,” Felix shrugged, “I’m sure this is what all the ‘extra studying’ was for.”
“No dude,” Chan began to yell, even you giggling at him now getting defensive, “I do need help! I’m terrible at this!”
“Is he y/n?”
“Terrible at psych? A little,” you paused, sitting down next to Felix on Chan’s couch, “sex? Absolutely not.”
Chan takes a sip of his drink, a cocktail of sorts, as his eyes find yours in the dim lighting of the bar. The sound of the waves in the distance renders it peaceful, the jazz music behind you fruity in its blend of musical instruments. There are a few people milling about on the public beach before you, but you find you cannot raise your gaze from the coke and rum in your hands.
"Care to elaborate?" He murmurs.
You sigh, "I'm just being petty."
You have been going out for more than four years after all. There's no one else you'd rather be with. And you know it's the same for him.
Yet, it always comes back to haunt you. A ghost from your past.
"I still want to hear it," there's a smile playing on his face. He feels like indulging in your childish manner today, "tell me."
"I..." you fumble with your glass. Take a sip. Swallow it down like it's medicine, "I..."
The words fail. It's so hard to talk of such things. Even the thought of it renders you speechless, annoyed, with that zpark of anger that follows.
He prods you with his shoulder, "c'mon. Spill it."
"Well," you start off as your hands find purchase in the fabric of the couch on which you're seated, "you know how your...you've had a girlfriend before me, right? And...I just hate the thought--it comes very rarely, but still--I hate the fact that you've experienced various things with her...that you--you did it all with her and I'm just--I'm never going to be the special first. You know? Like...there's always going to be someone else and when I think about it, it kinda makes me...i don't know, upset? Disappointed?"
There's silence as Chan takes in your words and you wonder whether you've strayed too far. It's obbiously no one's fault and yet, you don't want him to think you're just being dramatic. It is genuinely something that bothers you.
From the corner of your eye, you spot him taking another sip of his cocktail while mulling over your words. It's a long stretch of silence before he finally speaks up.
"I can't erase what I've experienced before you," he says slowly. His eyes find yours, reflecting the lustrous colours from the jazz bar beyond, red and gold and deep blue, "I understand what you feel sometimes. I can barely imagine your ex-boyfriend sneaking his hand down your shirt. It makes me uncomfortable," he purses his lips and one of his hands find your thigh before he rubs it in slow circles.
The movement spreads tingles of warmth up your body, unconsciously making you relax.
He continues, "but what I do know, is that the previous relationship I had makes me realize that ours is what I want. I love that we laugh and do stupid stuff together. I love that we talk, and I mean really talk, to each other. It sounds stupid, but it's true. I never really talked to my ex-girlfriend. I--I think that now, looking back, I should've definitely treated her better. It might sound bad but...yeah. it's the truth."
The music fades out as you concentrate on his words. Play them again. And again. A broken record on replay. You wish you can believe him. You will your heart to believe him. But it’s easier said than done. There’s so much fear, so much apprehension for the fact that you’ll never be his first and that, essentially, being first always wins, no matter what the result.
He probably notices the doubt on your face, for he’s quick to add, “and you know…of course I’ll compare you to her. That’s inevitable—“
You snort, “of course—“
“Well yeah it’s just natural,” Chan makes a grab for your hand, entwines them in his own. A rare occasion. He’s not one to touch so casually and you know for a fact that he’s no hand-holder, “but to be honest, it’s better. You’re better. And I’m not just saying that because I think you’re better than her, but you’re better for me. Maybe she was great too. She was perfect and we never had any fights. But that doesn’t mean she was it for me. I—I didn’t feel it. What we have.”
You sip down some more of your drink and grimace at the sting brought forth by the alcohol. His words ring with honesty, a fragility that settles in the distance between your two bodies. Love, care, tenderness. All of that wrapped up in those words like a gift he’s presenting to you.
You’re not convinced. It’s hard to when there are so many things you wish to improve on. You’re not perfect, but so is he. And what you do know, is that you trust Chan more than you can trust yourself.
In the brown eyes that glimmer in the reflection of the lights dancing upon your silhouettes, you wonder how much time it’ll take for all these scars to fade. You can’t help but hold his gaze, wanting, wishing to make sure that you’re his as much as he is yours.
“Come here,” he finally murmurs while his hand slips around your waist to pull you closer. His jaw finds solace at the side of your head and he can’t help but rock you back and forth with him, “I get it,” he says softly, rubbing a hand up and down your back as he does so, “I get why you might feel unsure about yourself.”
You hum into him in response.
“But I love you,” he continues in a whisper, “I don’t want you to neglect that fact.”
“I know,” you reply, “I love you too.”
It’s not great. But it’s a start. Everyone has to start somewhere in the first place, right? It’s never going to be enough and Chan’s previous encounters form a part of him. You can’t erase that fact, no matter how much you try.
But lying in his arms underneath the new moon rising in the horizon, you think that maybe it feels a little bit better just to have him holding you close like you’re the most precious thing in his world.
A/n: Hello!!! Coming right up~ This one turned out very soft hehehe
Word Count: 508
Kinktober 2022 Mini Masterlist
The bright light of the early morning creeps through the large open windows of his room, curtains swaying gently in the breeze from the open balcony doors. A content smile rests on Chan’s face as he trails a hand along your spine, absolutely loving the way his bare skin feels pressed against your own.
A sharp inhale from you lets him know that you are now awake.
“Good morning,” he chuckles, meeting your sleepy gaze as you blink up at him.
“Morning,” you hum, resting your head back on his chest.
“How did you sleep?” His hand continues to stroke along your spine, noticing a shiver caress your back as you shift your hips along his.
A hiss escapes both of you at the same time.
“I forgot about that,” you mumble, feeling his cock twitch inside of you.
Chan can only hum in response, feeling the way your warmth envelopes him in the early hours of the morning. To him, there is no better feeling. Being pressed against you, being inside you, is a feeling unlike any other. From the way you’re looking at him, he can tell you feel the same.
“Last night feels so surreal,” you say, voice barely above a whisper.
“In a good way, I hope,” he grins, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead.
“Of course,” you smile, lips tugging upwards softly.
If anyone would have told you a few months ago that you would be engaged to the crown prince, you wouldn’t have believed them. You’re forever grateful that he chose you, a princess of a small neighbouring kingdom, to be his bride. Chan quite literally swept you off of your feet when you first met, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not a secret, but neither would he.
“You were so good to me last night,” his voice rumbles out, the grip he has on you tightening ever so slightly. “My Princess.”
“I never wanted it to end,” you reply with a content hum, “My Prince.”
“I already told you,” he chuckles once more, “it doesn’t have to. Even now, you’re taking me so well.”
As if to emphasize his point, he rolls his hips up into yours, eliciting a soft moan from your lips.
“Like you were made for me.” Chan voices, nothing but tender love and affection shining in his eyes. “My perfect Princess.”
“Whom is well taken care of thanks to her Prince,” you lean up to peck his lips, only to be brought back into him with a searing kiss as soon as you go to pull away.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he admits, hands dragging along the skin of your thighs as you move to sit above him, straddling his waist whilst he remains buried deep inside of you.
“The feeling is mutual,” you caress the side of his face in your one hand gently.
“What a good thing it is, then,” Chan breathes, helping you begin to roll your hips into his, “that I’m not going anywhere.”
