Help From The Other Side

Help from an Alterhuman, for Alterhumans. Fictionkin, Fictives, any micro label welcome. Please see pinned post for FAQ.

[alterhuman-advice]

Frequently Asked Questions:

Can I send a question if my identity is x, or I'm a x?

Yes! My only warning is I don't have much experience with factives and IRLs, so my advice likely won't be much help. This blog is pulling from my own experiences, not a wiki or team of alterhumans.

Can I ask for advice if I'm not an alterhuman?

Yes, so long as the question is asked in good faith and preferably for a friend or loved one who is alterhuman. I will not be entertaining questions of "How do you know you're not fake?" or "Prove you're real", since those are unproductive when asked from outside the community.

Is my question stupid?

I don't believe in stupid questions! If there is a more relevant post I've already made, I may link or refer to it there, just to save a little time. If that didn't help you, try asking in a different wording!

Are you a mental health professional?

No! I am not a mental health professional, just an older alterhuman who sees a lot of new blood in the community and wants to help out.

If you are having a mental health crisis- Please contact a crisis helpline in your country. Many offer texting these days, and they will Always have better and more comforting information than some random person on Tumblr.

Who are you, anyway?

You can call me KO, or Khos. I'm an older adult, and though I allow minor asks, I will not respond to dms from minors. Please use my ask box if you need advice!

Can I send asks that are NSFW?

Because I'm intending this space to be multi-age, I'm going to err on the side of "not now". If there is a desire for that sort of advice blog, I'll run a poll somewhere and set up a second blog for that!

What languages can I use?

This is primarily an English account, just because I feel it's better for everyone if I understand the nuance of what you're asking. Google Translate is not a great resource for me!

If I misunderstand your question, feel free to ask again with more context, or simply rephrase!

Are Anons on?

Currently, yes. I will update this section if that changes, or if it's abused.

Have fun, and stay strong!

[alterhuman-advice]

Hi. I'm a plushie. I haven't found many things like me, and I want to ask some help:

My body feels disgusting. I think this is species dysphoria. I'm used to soft fabric, I'm used to cotton. I'm not used to slimy organs, I'm not used to them shifting inside me, moving. I'm not used to hair or nails or anything.

I don't like it, but I have to endure it, for my system-mates. Do you have any advice with dealing with what shouldn't be there?

- Stitches of @the-eden-collective

Hey there, Stitches!

First off- I'm sorry for taking so long to answer. Species dysphoria is no joke, and a fair few of us struggle with that every day.

When it comes to non-human, non-organic feelings, we tend to try focusing on what we can change about ourselves. The goal of living in the here and now is to reconcile with being human until we move on, and it's miserable to live a life always thinking you're something you shouldn't be.

For instance, I would suggest finding a fabric you really, really like. If you're crafty, raw fabric will do, but if you're not, take a trip to your local thrift store and see what you can find. Clothe yourself in things you like feeling- especially things on your arms or legs- and use a cotton mask if you can, for those inevitable touching-the-face that happens eventually.

That won't make the internal feeling go away, but it will hopefully help with the initial "everything's wrong" feeling just being human in your human space can feel. Focus on what you can change, and eventually with work, you can ignore what you can't.

Things get better, Stitches. I hope this helped.

@the-eden-collective

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Sorry babe but if me saying I use "any and all" pronouns stresses you out, that's honestly a you problem. It's not my job to pick a "true" or "most preferred" pronoun for you to call me by when my preference is, in fact, use everything chaotically and change it up often.

If you want to ask for clarification on how I'd like various pronouns used, that's fine. But saying to my face "ah I always get stressed about any pronouns - what do I call you"? Just rude tbh. I told you my preference, figure it out. It/they/he/she/xe/zir/fae/rat/bitch/ass/motherfucker I don't care, it's not my problem.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Also like. This is SUCH a young queers problem, almost exclusively. I've never had an old gay be confused or stressed about my pronouns when I say "eh whatever", they've all just gone "hell yeah absolutely" and thrown spaghetti at the wall. But young queers love to externalise their anxiety about Being A Good LGBTQ and make it my problem. It is sooo not my problem. I didn't say any pronouns to be cute. But I've had 20-30 year olds say to me, multiple times, "I don't know what to do with any pronouns". Bitch what do you MEAN you don't know? It's the most easy thing in the world to pick a random pronoun and use it. People do it all the time for strangers. Why is it harder when I ask you to do it?

[ratbastarddotfuck]

These tags absolutely sum it up. "I'm impossible to misgender but you've found a way to do it". Exactly exactly.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

This goes out to every single person who has tagged this with "well maybe they just want to clarify" or "you should at least clarify how you want them used they might just be nervous".

Thank you, yes, I addressed this in the original post.

I explicitly want people to ask me if I would prefer neopronouns or if I'd like to switch it up often or whatever else. I want that, I like that, it's good. My personal answer to all of those questions is "do whatever you want i do not care".

In this post I am talking about people who outright just ask me to pick a favourite or who tell me "it makes me stressed" with no further information. It is not my problem if my pronouns make you stressed. Make an effort or just use my name, I really don't care, I just dont want to hear about how difficult I'm making your day by not having One True Pronoun.

[alterhuman-advice]

And, we are open for business!

Hello! I'm KO, or Khos, and I'm here to help! See my FAQ in my pinned post, and ask away. No such thing as stupid questions here. :)