Birthday dread
I think this is the first year you haven't texted me happy birthday. The previous week my aunt asked me "aren't you excited about Sunday? Your birthday isn't a common day, you should celebrate it". And I was terrified of today. Because I knew deep down that you wouldn't reach out, it would become real. These little reminders that we are over hit hard. And suddenly every wish from my family felt meaningless. I wanted to hear it from you, even if you just called to say "happy birthday" and hang it up without saying anything else. You probably forgot it completely. You probably don't think of me at all anymore. It's fine. At least that's what I tell myself, you are better off, I am a burden, I always was. So yeah, happy birthday to me.
PS: My cousin and his wife came to my apartment with a birthday cake to surprise me, told me to make a wish before I blew the candles. I could wish for anything, better academic career, achieve all my goals blah blah blah. Of course I ended up wishing to die without batting a eyelid hahahaha. Classic me.
