you ever notice.. nothing really turns out the way you thought it would. you make all these plans, tell yourself: this is how it’s gonna go, and it just doesn’t. things fall apart, people leave. you end up somewhere you didn’t even picture. and you sit there thinking, what the hell happened? like you missed a step or something. and the truth is, there was no step. most of this ain’t planned. half the shit you do is just reacting, doing the best you can with whatever’s in front of you. that’s it. no big design behind it. no guarantee it works out. no reason it has to make sense. it just keeps going. and after a while, you stop trying to control it so much. not because you figured it all out, but because you realized you never had control in the first place. and that’s when it finally feels real.
