Word flows

These are my unfiltered, not so well put together thoughts all in one place. This includes all the over thinking, extreme thoughts as well thoughtful apologies and reluctant forgiveness

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

Am I your one? theres got to be someone else for you even better than I. I must go. all of them the worst ways to tell me you’re leaving me the one I didn’t have to worry about when I hear things bad things I gave all of me to you it burns so strongly I’ll wait till its over hoping you come back and you do for all of me but not my thoughts and mind. it wasn’t as good with her I wish this was real, here to stay truly you ripped that to shreds telling me you wouldn’t turn back on your decisions to end. that was final.

why’d I ever take you back? 

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

Amazing at the moment, you sitting there, gazing with so many amazing thoughts I will always wonder of. The excitement building in your demeanor I knew how you felt, I knew you too well for you to hide this. but behind me I heard terror, uneasy words whispered into my ear. that look I knew so well from past encounters, from loving you. it made me jump, gave me the hope, the joy we created together flowed in. I’ve missed it. I made the choice with no hesitation, we leaped once again. all is gone and done, vulnerable and exposed, whispers rose again, yet now none of you’re promising love to silence them, growing stronger, louder, more realistic anxieties. The power of reality hits just as strong as the first time you left, never getting easier. neither was choosing you each time when you come back needing love, I’ll fall for you until you stop coming back then I’ll hurt once more and maybe it will get easier from there. I don’t know how this will end, possibly we’ll crash and burn like the first time you said you were leaving but then again maybe the time will come when you’ll love me back the same and choose me too. whatever you choose, I’ll be the fool still waiting for you to decide.

Why do I always choose you. 

[help-n-quotes]

And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.

Unknown (via help-n-quotes)

[ainawgsd]

Cows in Flowers

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

you have someone else now but I hope you still think of me that I made enough of an impression that you stay up in the late nights still and think just thinking of the things you’ve done what you’ve lost now I just hope you think of the person I was how I loved you so how you dropped me so easily like you had no cares, ever I hope you know the pain I’ve felt by now the things you’ve said are not easy to feel I hope you know I still love you and I miss you but now I know I don’t need you never again

you really know how to hurt me  (via alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou)

[nikitaagupta]

love comes with heartbreak. i know we fear love because of the pain it causes. but almost all good things hurt a little. to be thinner, you have to run miles, cut on carbs, eat wise and sweat it out. to do well in your econ class, you have to read and reread the material before you ace your quiz. to experience love, you have to accept the pain that come with it afterwards. no good comes without the bad. so don’t let the fear of heartbreak stop you from loving the other person deeply. and dont let the fear of being alone stop you from letting go of the person you no longer love. be a little less fearless and love a little more.

fear of heartbreaks//nikitagupta (via muffin-nikks)

[theprocast]

Summer makes me realize that you can love something immensely for a period of time and it doesn’t have to continue forever. Now is good. Forever is only contingent. Give me your now. Give me Summer.

@creatingnikki (via theprocast)

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

here I am again I lost count of how many nights now how many nights I’ve sat and thought just thought of the many things you’ve made me wonder did I really love you? did you ever care about me like you said? will I really get bad again? and drink like my father? I never thought I would but I think you’ve driven me to that point here I am again thinking of you with a bottle in my hand and the other on this keyboard writing, again.

sober words, and my drunken thoughts 

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

I always hated that you could get anyone you wanted I’ve now realized that I only hated it because it wasn’t me i wasn’t the one you wanted to appreciate anymore

late night thoughts 

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

Everything you’ve done makes me want to self-destruct, but that’s just what you expected. I’ve done my best to avoid you being right, so here you are still pushing me to be better,  that’s the only thing I still miss about you

-My late thoughts on what I’m actually doing anymore (via alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou)

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

Everything you've done makes me want to self destruct, but that's just what you expected. I've done my best to avoid you being right, so here you are still pushing me to be better, and honestly that's the only thing I still miss about you

-My late thoughts on what I'm actually doing anymore

[divertedfuture]

If I could tell you anything right now and have you believe me it would be this, “I’m still that girl.”I’m still the girl who worried about boundaries when we were clearly so far beyond having them. I’m still the girl who laughed at your stupid jokes while calling you a child at the same time. I’m still the girl who laid under the stars with you. I’m still the girl who promised to love you even when you were so very very unloveable. I know things have changed and we don’t feel the same, but you should know that even after everything that we’ve been through, underneath all the heartache, I am still that girl.

Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #156 (via divertedfuture)

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

you have someone else now but I hope you still think of me that I made enough of an impression that you stay up in the late nights still and think just thinking of the things you’ve done what you’ve lost now I just hope you think of the person I was how I loved you so how you dropped me so easily like you had no cares, ever I hope you know the pain I’ve felt by now the things you’ve said are not easy to feel I hope you know I still love you and I miss you but now I know I don’t need you never again

you really know how to hurt me 

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

I guess all I have left to say is thank you. I could say mean things like I hate you and you ruined me, but it wouldn’t help at all and I would be lying to myself and mostly you. This will all probably sound naive, like all the things you hear about in teenage break up movies now i feel them more than ever. really you made me better than i was before and now I’m stronger again.

overthinking for happiness again

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

I’m sorry I’m not the best for you Thats what you need, thats what you deserve until you notice that I'll give you all of my love, because thats the best I can do, maybe I can hide its flaws for a little longer

overthinking, always (4.15am)

[alwaysoverthinkingaboutyou]

I’m sorry I’m fragile, I’m sorry I feel depressed sometimes and I just cant explain to you why I feel like that I’m sorry I get anxiety when I talk to new people but you love to be social I’m sorry I don’t always want to talk and sometimes I cant keep a conversation I’m sorry I don’t know how to talk to your friends I’m sorry I never want to go out when the last thing you want to do is stay in again I’m sorry I’m so indecisive even with the simplest things I’m sorry I don’t know how to communicate with you

late night regrets (3.45am)

[vanish]